Ridiculously overblown job titles.
Discussion
Blown2CV said:
i always do a big 
at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall.
Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.
Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.
(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)
An accurate description of many PHers. at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall. Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.
Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.
(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)
Myself included, Although since the IT headcount is only 8, dogs body would be abetter fit
Edited by Studio117 on Saturday 9th May 23:23
Hierachy in our place
Grunt - does most the work and hours to match but for a lesser salary than thoses above.
Associate - does most the work under the pupper control of the VP with even more hours.
VP - Make themselves look good to their EDs in the a fasion to fast track to ED at the detriment for those under them.
MD - Phew, got there time to ease off those under me, now where did I put my 7 iron?
Grunt - does most the work and hours to match but for a lesser salary than thoses above.
Associate - does most the work under the pupper control of the VP with even more hours.
VP - Make themselves look good to their EDs in the a fasion to fast track to ED at the detriment for those under them.
MD - Phew, got there time to ease off those under me, now where did I put my 7 iron?
UncappedTag said:
Hierachy in our place
Grunt - does most the work and hours to match but for a lesser salary than thoses above.
Associate - does most the work under the pupper control of the VP with even more hours.
VP - Make themselves look good to their EDs in the a fasion to fast track to ED at the detriment for those under them.
MD - Phew, got there time to ease off those under me, now where did I put my 7 iron?
I'm no private detective, but I bet I can work out your current level. Grunt - does most the work and hours to match but for a lesser salary than thoses above.
Associate - does most the work under the pupper control of the VP with even more hours.
VP - Make themselves look good to their EDs in the a fasion to fast track to ED at the detriment for those under them.
MD - Phew, got there time to ease off those under me, now where did I put my 7 iron?
omgus said:
When i was asked what i wanted i asked to be "Sourthern Area Lackey" and this was turned down as lacking professionalism.
I then asked for "Southern Area Professional Lackey" and now it is viewed that i no longer need business cards.
I like your style. I then asked for "Southern Area Professional Lackey" and now it is viewed that i no longer need business cards.
I don't bother with job titles. Or business cards.
Mastodon2 said:
GreigM said:
I have an IBM business card given to me by an absolute ****, his title was
"Senior Thaumaturge"
I had to look it up to get the definition. Never in the universe of IT consultancy has one man had such an overblown opinion of his own capabilities as this individual.
I think you've won the thread."Senior Thaumaturge"
I had to look it up to get the definition. Never in the universe of IT consultancy has one man had such an overblown opinion of his own capabilities as this individual.
haha!
i like the fact he added "senior" to miracle worker because alone miracle worker is insufficient
doogz said:
Blown2CV said:
i always do a big at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall.
Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.
Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.
(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)
The limited company takes 5 minutes and a hundred quid or so to set up, it's really not much of a hassle. at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall. Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.
Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.
(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)
I had some business cards made up, very rarely have any need for them tbh, but they're handy.
Mine just say "Structural Engineer", since that's what I do, that's what I get paid for. The fact that I'm also the sole Director is a useless piece of information to put on there.
Plus I'm on a rubbish hourly rate, not a rubbish day rate.
Blown2CV said:
i always do a big at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall.
Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.
Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.
(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)
Same with PLC's. In the 80's and 90's it was common for sole trader computer suppliers to get a PLC tag to impress local authorities into thinking they were bigger than they really were to give an air of reliability and knowledge. So it would be Tossrag Computers PLC, global employer of 2 people (his wife does the books and admin) and Barry would s at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall. Also on a related note, in my line of work there are a lot of privateer contractors. They usually have to have Ltd companies before they can even get paid, which generally takes a few pounds to set up, and doesn't actually mean anything at all. It's just a formality. However some do think it makes them into some exotic and amazing combination of James Bond and Steve Jobs, and engineer their job title AND their company name accordingly e.g.
Barry Tossrag, Founder, CEO, Chief Technologist and Managing Director, Tossrag Hi-Tech Consulting Ltd.
(typically seen on someone who farts around with things as boring as email servers or whatever for a rubbish day rate)
t his pants with joy when he won the contract for 300 computers.GreigM said:
Blown2CV said:
IBM have "master inventor" and "distinguished engineer" but they aren't actually dished out willy nilly so maybe not overblown. Do sound a bit silly though.
I have an IBM business card given to me by an absolute ****, his title was"Senior Thaumaturge"
I had to look it up to get the definition. Never in the universe of IT consultancy has one man had such an overblown opinion of his own capabilities as this individual.
Blown2CV said:
UncappedTag said:
Hierachy in our place
Grunt - does most the work and hours to match but for a lesser salary than thoses above.
Associate - does most the work under the pupper control of the VP with even more hours.
VP - Make themselves look good to their EDs in the a fasion to fast track to ED at the detriment for those under them.
MD - Phew, got there time to ease off those under me, now where did I put my 7 iron?
I'm no private detective, but I bet I can work out your current level. Grunt - does most the work and hours to match but for a lesser salary than thoses above.
Associate - does most the work under the pupper control of the VP with even more hours.
VP - Make themselves look good to their EDs in the a fasion to fast track to ED at the detriment for those under them.
MD - Phew, got there time to ease off those under me, now where did I put my 7 iron?
HR dept. Human Rejects fits.
Title of a document the engineering office dreamed up for an over blown, full of his own self importance, military Major guy, who was pissed of when his 'job' was privatised my Maggie Thatcher, and we took over. You need to be aware that the military always talked in abbreviated title mode for everything. Which means just the first letter of each word. Anyway, the document was entitled:-
Design Office Group, Critical Review And Performance.
For some reason, he hated us even more then !!!!!!!!!!!!
Title of a document the engineering office dreamed up for an over blown, full of his own self importance, military Major guy, who was pissed of when his 'job' was privatised my Maggie Thatcher, and we took over. You need to be aware that the military always talked in abbreviated title mode for everything. Which means just the first letter of each word. Anyway, the document was entitled:-
Design Office Group, Critical Review And Performance.
For some reason, he hated us even more then !!!!!!!!!!!!
PurpleTurtle said:
Slightly OT, but people who put 'MBA' after their name on business cards, LinkedIn titles, email signatures.
All the people I've met who've done this are in low-ranking management jobs where an MBA is not necessary, but seem to think by stating it they are the next Richard Branson.
it's very tAll the people I've met who've done this are in low-ranking management jobs where an MBA is not necessary, but seem to think by stating it they are the next Richard Branson.
tty and probably counter-productive. If ever I hear of a MBA who doesn't have a senior management job, I imagine they must be st (and just good at book-learning), but if they are senior management then i wouldn't care if they had MBA or not. It's basically like saying "I just wanted a day a week out of work for 5 years, and I have no idea to apply any of the things I've learnt and subsequently forgotten". Blown2CV said:
PurpleTurtle said:
Slightly OT, but people who put 'MBA' after their name on business cards, LinkedIn titles, email signatures.
All the people I've met who've done this are in low-ranking management jobs where an MBA is not necessary, but seem to think by stating it they are the next Richard Branson.
it's very tAll the people I've met who've done this are in low-ranking management jobs where an MBA is not necessary, but seem to think by stating it they are the next Richard Branson.
tty and probably counter-productive. If ever I hear of a MBA who doesn't have a senior management job, I imagine they must be st (and just good at book-learning), but if they are senior management then i wouldn't care if they had MBA or not. It's basically like saying "I just wanted a day a week out of work for 5 years, and I have no idea to apply any of the things I've learnt and subsequently forgotten". 
Blown2CV said:
i've just recruited an MBA, and he now works for me. Nice bloke, and seems good at what he does, but that thing doesn't require an MBA. I won't hold it against him!
I've no doubt that's the case, my point was more about the people that shout about it unnecessarily. It effectively says "you need to know that I am intelligent" (enought to spend a few weekends away at Business School) when in the main people are more bothered about what one can actually do. No problems with popping it on the CV, alongside all other achievements. The only time I am vaguely interested in qualifications alongside a job title is when they are an industry/sector accepted 'must-have' for the role
Blown2CV said:
i always do a big at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall.
I once had an interview at a relatively large organization ($200M/yr). I met with a person who described himself as CEO of XYZ corp. My only response was "no you are not". Interview did not go well from there. However, looking on Linked in and he changed his title to Director of the Americas after my interview (not because of) and his COO/wife no longer works there. It looks like he was found out. At best he was the President of the US operation but certainly not the CEO of a privately held company based out of Europe. at people who describe themselves as CEO when in fact they have a one-man-band company, usually a rubbish business idea, and about 3 months away from going to the wall. Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff