Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[AndyTR]

This morning whilst discussing pop music the Mrs mentioned Nicki Minger (Minaj)...I tried not to giggle but failed miserably.

[callmedave]

"Why do certain products say suitable for Vegetarians or Vegans, but none say: suitable for Carnivores"

[kowalski655]

Mrs K has gone to Blackpool for the week with the baby, so she gets there today, checks in to hotel , all good so far.Goes out for dinner, has just called me to ask the name & address of the hotel as she cant remember it!
I swear she would forget her head if it wasnt screwed on.....but some of the screws are loose

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Overheard from a girl on the tube, talking to her friend:

"Venice was amazing",,,,,(some stuff about Venice)....."and all the canals in Venice are man made."

I always wondered what made the Venetian canals so special.

[davhill]

Not the Mrs. but a hairdressing girly who was discussing a particular kind of pills while prepping the Mrs.

"They stay in your system for seven working days," quoth she.

Smart pills, I wonder how they know.

[vx220]

Not MrsVX, but playing "Swingball" at work with a female member of staff...

She says... "you nearly hit me, what would you have said if you'd hit my head!?"

Me: "I'd say stand further away, so I can't hit your head?"

Apparently, this was the wrong thing to say, as "it's not fair, my arms aren't as long as yours!"

What the hell has that got to do with it!?!?!?

[brrapp]

vx220 said:

playing "Swingball" at work with a female member of staff...

I've heard it called a lot of different things, but that's a new one on me.

[steveatesh]

brrapp said:

vx220 said:

playing "Swingball" at work with a female member of staff...

I've heard it called a lot of different things, but that's a new one on me.

I assumed it was a euphemism too......

[vx220]

steveatesh said:

brrapp said:

vx220 said:

playing "Swingball" at work with a female member of staff...

I've heard it called a lot of different things, but that's a new one on me.

I assumed it was a euphemism too......

Afraid not...

[Shakermaker]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Overheard from a girl on the tube, talking to her friend:

"Venice was amazing",,,,,(some stuff about Venice)....."and all the canals in Venice are man made."

I always wondered what made the Venetian canals so special.

Before man came along, they weren't canals, it was just a lagoon?

[morgs_]

Shakermaker said:

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Overheard from a girl on the tube, talking to her friend:

"Venice was amazing",,,,,(some stuff about Venice)....."and all the canals in Venice are man made."

I always wondered what made the Venetian canals so special.

Before man came along, they weren't canals, it was just a lagoon?

There used to be some exotic flying wildlife at that time as well.

[Europa1]

morgs_ said:

Shakermaker said:

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Overheard from a girl on the tube, talking to her friend:

"Venice was amazing",,,,,(some stuff about Venice)....."and all the canals in Venice are man made."

I always wondered what made the Venetian canals so special.

Before man came along, they weren't canals, it was just a lagoon?

There used to be some exotic flying wildlife at that time as well.

Did said flying wildlife by any chance make a distinctive sound?

[Shakermaker]

Europa1 said:

Did said flying wildlife by any chance make a distinctive sound?

Parrot me if you wish but I still can't work out what made Mrs Twig The Wonderkid's comment so "classic" - or was it purely that it was just a statement of the bleeding obvious?

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Shakermaker said:

Europa1 said:

Did said flying wildlife by any chance make a distinctive sound?

Parrot me if you wish but I still can't work out what made Mrs Twig The Wonderkid's comment so "classic" - or was it purely that it was just a statement of the bleeding obvious?

It wasn't the wife, just a random female on the train. I thought the definition of a canal was that it was man made. The girl was shocked that the Venice canals were man made, she thought this was a unique feature of Venetian canals.

[Shakermaker]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

It wasn't the wife, just a random female on the train. I thought the definition of a canal was that it was man made. The girl was shocked that the Venice canals were man made, she thought this was a unique feature of Venetian canals.

That context makes more sense

[s p a c e m a n]

Looking at ducks in a pub garden pond. 'Those ducks are a pretty colour, I've probably never seen them that colour because I've not been here before. Ducks don't fly do they?'

[TwigtheWonderkid]

On Pointless this evening, name a country that starts or ends with a D.

2 ladies come up with the Dominican Republic of Congo!

[Alex_225]

s p a c e m a n said:

Looking at ducks in a pub garden pond. 'Those ducks are a pretty colour, I've probably never seen them that colour because I've not been here before. Ducks don't fly do they?'

That reminds me of a comment that my mates sister in law came out with.

Whilst going for a walk in a local park, she exclaimed to her husband, "Look at that poor duck, it's only got two legs!!". In her mind ducks were meant to have four legs. Bint.

[SilverSixer]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

Shakermaker said:

Europa1 said:

Did said flying wildlife by any chance make a distinctive sound?

Parrot me if you wish but I still can't work out what made Mrs Twig The Wonderkid's comment so "classic" - or was it purely that it was just a statement of the bleeding obvious?

It wasn't the wife, just a random female on the train. I thought the definition of a canal was that it was man made. The girl was shocked that the Venice canals were man made, she thought this was a unique feature of Venetian canals.

I always laboured under the assumption that Venice, like St Petersburg, was built on swampy islands in the lagoon, amongst pre-existing natural channels of water. Then the banks were reinforced as the buildings went up and the natural channels became more man-developed canals. Is that right? Suppose I could google it but where would the fun be in that? I was there in February this year and I think that'll be it for me. Absolute sodding rip off of a place beyond all reason. Checking the credit card bill when we got home revealed almost every transaction had been put through twice. Bloody crooks. Got it all back though.

[Shakermaker]

SilverSixer said:

I always laboured under the assumption that Venice, like St Petersburg, was built on swampy islands in the lagoon, amongst pre-existing natural channels of water. Then the banks were reinforced as the buildings went up and the natural channels became more man-developed canals. Is that right? Suppose I could google it but where would the fun be in that? I was there in February this year and I think that'll be it for me. Absolute sodding rip off of a place beyond all reason. Checking the credit card bill when we got home revealed almost every transaction had been put through twice. Bloody crooks. Got it all back though.

Sounds about right

The only time I've been to Venice was for one afternoon, and I was dressed up like a nun running around St Mark's Square trying to get as many people to be in a photo with us for part of the challenge of the day on our European banger rally. Think the only thing we bought was an ice cream