Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[CubanPete]

OH has just booked a yoga course. One of the sessions means going a day late to the Silverstone classic. (both of us, weekend, camping). But it's cheaper this way as she has paid £10 a session.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

CubanPete said:

OH has just booked a yoga course. One of the sessions means going a day late to the Silverstone classic. (both of us, weekend, camping). But it's cheaper this way as she has paid £10 a session.

So you've buried her under the patio, right. Right?

[CaptainSlow]

Walking across Trafalgar Square last week the Mrs decides to "educate" the kids....

Her: "So girls, remember we visited that large tomb in Paris last month? This is his column."

Me: (under breath) "jesus fking Christ"

Me: "That was fking Napoleon you dhead, he was fking French"

Her: "Oh, I did think it was a bit strange he was buried in Paris"

Me: (under breath) "jesus fking Christ"

Me: (trying to be a bit more patient) "..and guess where Nelson died? any guesses??? Can you guess where as we walk across Trafalgar Square?? The battle of, battle of, battle of???"

Her: "Waterloo?"

Me: (under breath) "jesus fking Christ"

[Vaud]

CubanPete said:

OH has just booked a yoga course. One of the sessions means going a day late to the Silverstone classic. (both of us, weekend, camping). But it's cheaper this way as she has paid £10 a session.

It's a subtle hint that she doesn't want to go.

[Abbott]

CaptainSlow said:

Walking across Trafalgar Square last week the Mrs decides to "educate" the kids....

Her: "So girls, remember we visited that large tomb in Paris last month? This is his column."

Me: (under breath) "jesus fking Christ"

Me: "That was fking Napoleon you dhead, he was fking French"

Her: "Oh, I did think it was a bit strange he was buried in Paris"

Me: (under breath) "jesus fking Christ"j

Me: (trying to be a bit more patient) "..and guess where Nelson died? any guesses??? Can you guess where as we walk across Trafalgar Square?? The battle of, battle of, battle of???"

Her: "Waterloo?"

Me: (under breath) "jesus fking Christ"

Priceless

[Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah]

Blown2CV said:

Alex@POD said:

Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah said:

Sarah; 'I'm doing a colours wash, grab anything you want chucking in'

Me, grabs stuff, puts in the basket by the washer. Her, grabs jeans (3 year old Diesels, blue, certainly not new colour) 'they're certainly not a colour!' Me; 'what's blue if it's not a colour?!' Her; 'it's a dark!' Me; 'what the actual juddering fk! Let me know when you're doing the medium blues wash and I'll put them in.....'

Nevermind that, I just chuck everything in together! Any new clothes likely to stain others go in with a load of towels for the first wash, after that it's free-for-all on a 30 degree wash. No issues.

far be it for me to be the voice of household chores as i seem to have become... but 'colours' is bright colours; not dark ones. Dark ones are 'darks'. Yes they are different, as bright colours go dull if they are put in with darks. Of course at that point everything is dark so who cares.... however women generally are the ones with bright colours so they probably care.

I never knew that. For years, since buying my first house 20 years ago, it has been whites, or everything else!

[Speed 3]

Blown2CV said:

Alex@POD said:

Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah said:

Sarah; 'I'm doing a colours wash, grab anything you want chucking in'

Me, grabs stuff, puts in the basket by the washer. Her, grabs jeans (3 year old Diesels, blue, certainly not new colour) 'they're certainly not a colour!' Me; 'what's blue if it's not a colour?!' Her; 'it's a dark!' Me; 'what the actual juddering fk! Let me know when you're doing the medium blues wash and I'll put them in.....'

Nevermind that, I just chuck everything in together! Any new clothes likely to stain others go in with a load of towels for the first wash, after that it's free-for-all on a 30 degree wash. No issues.

far be it for me to be the voice of household chores as i seem to have become... but 'colours' is bright colours; not dark ones. Dark ones are 'darks'. Yes they are different, as bright colours go dull if they are put in with darks. Of course at that point everything is dark so who cares.... however women generally are the ones with bright colours so they probably care.

This is why our spare room has more different laundry bins than Ikea.....and even then delicates go on the window sill. Takes a fortnight to build up to an economic load mind - probably a justification why SWMBO and 2 daughters need so many clothes

[Antony Moxey]

CaptainSlow said:

Walking across Trafalgar Square last week the Mrs decides to "educate" the kids....

Her: "So girls, remember we visited that large tomb in Paris last month? This is his column."

Me: (under breath) "jesus fking Christ"

Me: "That was fking Napoleon you dhead, he was fking French"

Her: "Oh, I did think it was a bit strange he was buried in Paris"

Me: (under breath) "jesus fking Christ"

Me: (trying to be a bit more patient) "..and guess where Nelson died? any guesses??? Can you guess where as we walk across Trafalgar Square?? The battle of, battle of, battle of???"

Her: "Waterloo?"

Me: (under breath) "jesus fking Christ"

Did you really keep effing and jeffing at your missus in front of your kids or have you embellished the story a bit for effect?

[Vaud]

Off topic, but off-colour humour...

"Whites only laundry"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiW0dLwVZVw

[alorotom]

Antony Moxey said:

Did you really keep effing and jeffing at your missus in front of your kids or have you embellished the story a bit for effect?

I think he got lost on his way to the council forum to confess

[CaptainSlow]

Antony Moxey said:

Did you really keep effing and jeffing at your missus in front of your kids or have you embellished the story a bit for effect?

The kids didn't hear the swearing. Apologies for my council upbringing.

[havoc]

To be fair, the kids DID learn something:-
- Don't ask Mum for help with history homework;
- Don't cross Dad!

[CubanPete]

Vaud said:

CubanPete said:

OH has just booked a yoga course. One of the sessions means going a day late to the Silverstone classic. (both of us, weekend, camping). But it's cheaper this way as she has paid £10 a session.

It's a subtle hint that she doesn't want to go.

She's not that subtle!

She very much likes her cars and weekends away. There is a big gang going so we might be able to persuade someone to put the tent up for us and get there late. Only issue is not being able to pick our spot, and early start as we're going with one of the balloons.

[Usget]

Watching some comedian on TV.

Her: "That's an interesting tattoo she's got."

Seeing no obvious tattoo, I ask: "Where?"

Her: **points indiscriminately at screen** "There!"

[Shakermaker]

CubanPete said:

Vaud said:

CubanPete said:

OH has just booked a yoga course. One of the sessions means going a day late to the Silverstone classic. (both of us, weekend, camping). But it's cheaper this way as she has paid £10 a session.

It's a subtle hint that she doesn't want to go.

She's not that subtle!

She very much likes her cars and weekends away. There is a big gang going so we might be able to persuade someone to put the tent up for us and get there late. Only issue is not being able to pick our spot, and early start as we're going with one of the balloons.

If you're only losing £10 through not going to Yoga, just don't go to Yoga?

[kowalski655]

Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah said:

I never knew that. For years, since buying my first house 20 years ago, it has been whites, or everything else!

Easy solution...just let her deal with it all.

[kowalski655]

Wiccan of Darkness said:

Tyre Tread said:

Bullett said:

Watching the Foos at Glasto.

Me "he's done alright for a drummer"
Her "what band was he in before?"
Me "Nirvana"
Her "oh yeah, the one with the baby on the cover"
Me "yup"
Her "why did he leave, did they split up?"
Me.......

Not sure how that's a classic from the Mrs?

I have no idea what happened to Nirvana. I've heard of them, but that's about it.

Lead singer Kurt Cobain shot himself in 1994, apparent suicide but the conspiracy theories run amok. It's quite well known but naturally, 23 years later there will be people who weren't even alive when it happened, so to them it's no big deal.

What's brown and brainy?
Kurt Cobain's garage wall.

What...too soon?

[callmedave]

A friends partner:

"What's the boat called in titanic?"

[matchmaker]

callmedave said:

A friends partner:

"What's the boat called in titanic?"

Carpathia?

[Ki3r]

callmedave said:

A friends partner:

"What's the boat called in titanic?"

Brilliant made me laugh when on TV someone is telling a story about cancer...now I look like a right !