Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Author
Discussion

AndySheff

6,640 posts

208 months

Monday 7th August 2017
quotequote all
sidekickdmr said:
Sat on an easyjet plane on the Tarmac of Bristol airport heading to Belfast for the weekend, been planned for weeks, research done into stuff to do in Ireland etc.

Packed plane, full of Irish, and the wife loudly asks

"Do we go over any water"
Related story, and probably one I mentioned in Vol I. We were off on hols and as the plane climbed above the clouds she says, "Oh nice, the sun's come out" !

karona

1,918 posts

187 months

Monday 7th August 2017
quotequote all
A three day spouse induced fekkup.
"Can you make me a website? It's easy with this super duper app, but my friend say's the newest version doesn't work right, you have to use V 1.3"
So I download V 1.3, ignoring V 1.5.7, and run "setup"
Not a damn thing works, so I embark on an odyssey of Googling, editing scripts, FTP'ing til my eyeballs bled, to no avail.

Eventually I discover that V 1.3 is eight years old, and hasn't worked for anyone since Windows Vista.

"Ask your friend what her operating system is"

"Windows 10" was the reply. "Oh, by the way it's V 1.5.5 she's using, does that matter?"

Following a brief, forthright expression of frustration, V 1.5.7 was installed and running perfectly within an hour.

I suppose the bright side is I'm now an expert on Zen-Cart V 1.3.

RammyMP

6,784 posts

154 months

Monday 7th August 2017
quotequote all
AndySheff said:
sidekickdmr said:
Sat on an easyjet plane on the Tarmac of Bristol airport heading to Belfast for the weekend, been planned for weeks, research done into stuff to do in Ireland etc.

Packed plane, full of Irish, and the wife loudly asks

"Do we go over any water"
Related story, and probably one I mentioned in Vol I. We were off on hols and as the plane climbed above the clouds she says, "Oh nice, the sun's come out" !
Another plane related one yesterday, she was driving, looked up and shouted "oh my god, those planes are going to crash!"

Me and the kids looked up, they just started laughting at her, one was a light aircraft at a few thousand feet, the other was a passenger jet a fair bit higher than it. It was the classic Father Ted cow sketch.

Blown2CV

28,870 posts

204 months

Monday 7th August 2017
quotequote all
karona said:
A three day spouse induced fekkup.
"Can you make me a website? It's easy with this super duper app, but my friend say's the newest version doesn't work right, you have to use V 1.3"
So I download V 1.3, ignoring V 1.5.7, and run "setup"
Not a damn thing works, so I embark on an odyssey of Googling, editing scripts, FTP'ing til my eyeballs bled, to no avail.

Eventually I discover that V 1.3 is eight years old, and hasn't worked for anyone since Windows Vista.

"Ask your friend what her operating system is"

"Windows 10" was the reply. "Oh, by the way it's V 1.5.5 she's using, does that matter?"

Following a brief, forthright expression of frustration, V 1.5.7 was installed and running perfectly within an hour.

I suppose the bright side is I'm now an expert on Zen-Cart V 1.3.
hardly a classic is it?

Einion Yrth

19,575 posts

245 months

Monday 7th August 2017
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
karona said:
A three day spouse induced fekkup.
"Can you make me a website? It's easy with this super duper app, but my friend say's the newest version doesn't work right, you have to use V 1.3"
So I download V 1.3, ignoring V 1.5.7, and run "setup"
Not a damn thing works, so I embark on an odyssey of Googling, editing scripts, FTP'ing til my eyeballs bled, to no avail.

Eventually I discover that V 1.3 is eight years old, and hasn't worked for anyone since Windows Vista.

"Ask your friend what her operating system is"

"Windows 10" was the reply. "Oh, by the way it's V 1.5.5 she's using, does that matter?"

Following a brief, forthright expression of frustration, V 1.5.7 was installed and running perfectly within an hour.

I suppose the bright side is I'm now an expert on Zen-Cart V 1.3.
hardly a classic is it?
If someone who isn't apparently computer literate enough to do it themselves asks you to do a job for them, and makes some vague statement like the above...


research it first before wasting time.

Blown2CV

28,870 posts

204 months

Monday 7th August 2017
quotequote all
Einion Yrth said:
Blown2CV said:
karona said:
A three day spouse induced fekkup.
"Can you make me a website? It's easy with this super duper app, but my friend say's the newest version doesn't work right, you have to use V 1.3"
So I download V 1.3, ignoring V 1.5.7, and run "setup"
Not a damn thing works, so I embark on an odyssey of Googling, editing scripts, FTP'ing til my eyeballs bled, to no avail.

Eventually I discover that V 1.3 is eight years old, and hasn't worked for anyone since Windows Vista.

"Ask your friend what her operating system is"

"Windows 10" was the reply. "Oh, by the way it's V 1.5.5 she's using, does that matter?"

Following a brief, forthright expression of frustration, V 1.5.7 was installed and running perfectly within an hour.

I suppose the bright side is I'm now an expert on Zen-Cart V 1.3.
hardly a classic is it?
If someone who isn't apparently computer literate enough to do it themselves asks you to do a job for them, and makes some vague statement like the above...


research it first before wasting time.
it would be immediately obvious the version he was seeking was a very old one, as soon as he went to download it. Classic from the arrogant IT man.

Gargamel

15,008 posts

262 months

Monday 7th August 2017
quotequote all
sidekickdmr said:
Sat on an easyjet plane on the Tarmac of Bristol airport heading to Belfast for the weekend, been planned for weeks, research done into stuff to do in Ireland etc.

Packed plane, full of Irish, and the wife loudly asks

"Do we go over any water"
That is awesome. I had a PA who also believed Ireland wasn't and Island...

bless

J4CKO

41,637 posts

201 months

Monday 7th August 2017
quotequote all
RammyMP said:
AndySheff said:
sidekickdmr said:
Sat on an easyjet plane on the Tarmac of Bristol airport heading to Belfast for the weekend, been planned for weeks, research done into stuff to do in Ireland etc.

Packed plane, full of Irish, and the wife loudly asks

"Do we go over any water"
Related story, and probably one I mentioned in Vol I. We were off on hols and as the plane climbed above the clouds she says, "Oh nice, the sun's come out" !
Another plane related one yesterday, she was driving, looked up and shouted "oh my god, those planes are going to crash!"

Me and the kids looked up, they just started laughting at her, one was a light aircraft at a few thousand feet, the other was a passenger jet a fair bit higher than it. It was the classic Father Ted cow sketch.
Had the same the other day, ended up circling the peak district as the runway at Manchester was closed briefly due to a bird strike, we were banking and below us was a Jet 2 plane banking, she didnt like that one bit.

antspants

2,402 posts

176 months

Monday 7th August 2017
quotequote all
Chatting with friends about something or other and my wife remembered we'd seen something similar when we were in Rome, or in her words "you remember, in Paris the day after we'd been to the Cavatian" laugh

Usget

5,426 posts

212 months

Tuesday 8th August 2017
quotequote all
karona said:
A three day spouse induced fekkup.
"Can you make me a website? It's easy with this super duper app, but my friend say's the newest version doesn't work right, you have to use V 1.3"
So I download V 1.3, ignoring V 1.5.7, and run "setup"
Not a damn thing works, so I embark on an odyssey of Googling, editing scripts, FTP'ing til my eyeballs bled, to no avail.

Eventually I discover that V 1.3 is eight years old, and hasn't worked for anyone since Windows Vista.

"Ask your friend what her operating system is"

"Windows 10" was the reply. "Oh, by the way it's V 1.5.5 she's using, does that matter?"

Following a brief, forthright expression of frustration, V 1.5.7 was installed and running perfectly within an hour.

I suppose the bright side is I'm now an expert on Zen-Cart V 1.3.

Sycamore

1,796 posts

119 months

Tuesday 8th August 2017
quotequote all
karona said:
A three day spouse induced fekkup.
"Can you make me a website? It's easy with this super duper app, but my friend say's the newest version doesn't work right, you have to use V 1.3"
So I download V 1.3, ignoring V 1.5.7, and run "setup"
Not a damn thing works, so I embark on an odyssey of Googling, editing scripts, FTP'ing til my eyeballs bled, to no avail.

Eventually I discover that V 1.3 is eight years old, and hasn't worked for anyone since Windows Vista.

"Ask your friend what her operating system is"

"Windows 10" was the reply. "Oh, by the way it's V 1.5.5 she's using, does that matter?"

Following a brief, forthright expression of frustration, V 1.5.7 was installed and running perfectly within an hour.

I suppose the bright side is I'm now an expert on Zen-Cart V 1.3.
Haha classic!
fk me IT guys are boring.

anonymous-user

55 months

Tuesday 8th August 2017
quotequote all
Frank7 said:
I do that with Belvedere and Grey Goose, I'll sometimes mix Smirnoff with tonic, I rarely if ever drink a beer, unless the temperature outside is over 30c. and the bottle is ice frosted.
I drove to Poland in 1974 with my then girlfriend, Jadwiga, born in London, but with Polish parents.
We were visiting one of her aunts, in Poznan, and at breakfast there was always a bottle or two of vodka in the centre of the table, and everyone had a shot glass by their side plates, we'd eat slices of ham, and cheese, hard boiled eggs, with fresh rolls and bread, and drink beautiful coffee, but always finish off with a vodka shot, presumably a Polish tradition I guessed.
One morning, I picked up a bottle, poured a shot, murmured "Na Zdrowie", (a toast, literally Bless You), and slung it back, just about registering the raised eyebrows and looks of horror as I tilted my head back.
It was tantamount to swallowing a liquid hand grenade.
As I gasped for breath, with tears forming in my eyes, and what felt like lava trickling down my throat, I could hear anguished voices, all speaking excitedly in Polish, unintelligible to me.
Jadwiga told me then that I'd just swallowed Spiritus Rektyfikowany, 95 proof rye spirit, only to be used as a base, and ALWAYS only to be drunk with water, or mixed with something, NEVER to be drunk neat.
I'm probably remembered as either the hero, or more likely the clown Angielski after that by her Polish family.
I was taken to meet my friends parents who are Russian at their place in the country. On arrival I was given big bear hug and a large glass of homemade triple distilled hooch. Which I was told was good for the appetite, there followed many courses of food and many toasts. I got gloriously drunk and had to be carried to bed despite wanting to sleep in the garden, my wife was mortified at my drunkeness, until we met our host in the morning. I uttered my humble apologies, he hugged me again gave me another shot and said he was the talk of the village, being carried to bed is a good sign that your host is a very good one.

I went to my mates wedding the next year and it was carnage, I woke up in the garden with most of the guests sleeping all over the garden.


sc0tt

18,054 posts

202 months

Tuesday 8th August 2017
quotequote all
Sycamore said:
Haha classic!
fk me IT guys are boring.
It is my bread and butter but even I wanted to throw myself under a train after reading that.

vx220

2,691 posts

235 months

Tuesday 8th August 2017
quotequote all
MrsVX is trying the treatbox approach with our dog, small Tupperware box of doggy treats, give it a rattle when you want the dog to come in, dog recognizes the sound and comes in for a treat...

...except dog can't hear her rattling the box, as she has packed it so full it won't rattle! So she's taken to banging the box on the conservatory window!?!?!?

I must've missed a sign

Mothersruin

8,573 posts

100 months

Tuesday 8th August 2017
quotequote all

MorganP104

2,605 posts

131 months

Tuesday 8th August 2017
quotequote all
As is usual for the month of August, there's nothing good on the telly, so the missus and I were watching "Car Crash Britain". Yes, yes, I know.

I made the comment that most of the crashes shown were caused by people in Peugeots (mainly 206s and 307s). As the programme went on, we saw more and more small Peugeots at the heart of the chaos, much to my amusement.

As the credits rolled, my wife turned to me and said "I'm never buying a Peugeot. Those cars are dangerous!"

I would have pissed myself laughing, but I was too busy shaking my head and doing a passable goldfish impersonation. laugh

wolfracesonic

7,023 posts

128 months

Wednesday 9th August 2017
quotequote all
vx220 said:
MrsVX is trying the treatbox approach with our dog, small Tupperware box of doggy treats, give it a rattle when you want the dog to come in, dog recognizes the sound and comes in for a treat...

...except dog can't hear her rattling the box, as she has packed it so full it won't rattle! So she's taken to banging the box on the conservatory window!?!?!?

I must've missed a sign
I'll keep a lookout for the 'Cheapest place to buy replacement double glazed units in Essex' threadthumbup

Ari

19,349 posts

216 months

Wednesday 9th August 2017
quotequote all
vx220 said:
MrsVX is trying the treatbox approach with our dog, small Tupperware box of doggy treats, give it a rattle when you want the dog to come in, dog recognizes the sound and comes in for a treat...

...except dog can't hear her rattling the box, as she has packed it so full it won't rattle! So she's taken to banging the box on the conservatory window!?!?!?

I must've missed a sign
That is speshal... banghead

berlintaxi

8,535 posts

174 months

Wednesday 9th August 2017
quotequote all
Gargamel said:
sidekickdmr said:
Sat on an easyjet plane on the Tarmac of Bristol airport heading to Belfast for the weekend, been planned for weeks, research done into stuff to do in Ireland etc.

Packed plane, full of Irish, and the wife loudly asks

"Do we go over any water"
That is awesome. I had a PA who also believed Ireland wasn't and Island...

bless
Used have an internal sales support based in the US who regularly asked what currency she should invoice Scottish customers in,according to the management over there she was recruited for her knowledge of the UK.

karona

1,918 posts

187 months

Friday 11th August 2017
quotequote all
sc0tt said:
It is my bread and butter but even I wanted to throw myself under a train after reading that.
actually, so did I, sober