Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
Shuvi McTupya said:
That still doesn't really excuse not being able to do the maths though, and I bet if you asked her how many minutes after 4:00pm it would be if the time was quarter to five, she wouldn't gave a clue ..
if her shift finished at 4.45 she could tell you to the millisecond
Watching an old episode of Would I Lie to You. Sir Chris Hoy is spinning a fanciful yarn about how NASA asked him to be the first cyclist on the moon.
Her: Well that's obviously a lie, how would that even work?
Me: I dunno, I reckon it's quite a clever idea. Something like a 29er fatbike would be perfect. Might be tough to operate in the space suits though.
Her: Yeah but, I mean, why wouldn't it float away?
Me: .... same reason the astronauts don't float away?
Her: Yes but I don't really know why that is either. I thought they had sort of anti gravity boots or something.
Me: ..... you know there's gravity on the moon, right?
Her: No there isn't.
Some discussion
Her: You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you?
Me: No darling of course not.
Rob Brydon: It was, of course, A LIE.
Her: Well that's obviously a lie, how would that even work?
Me: I dunno, I reckon it's quite a clever idea. Something like a 29er fatbike would be perfect. Might be tough to operate in the space suits though.
Her: Yeah but, I mean, why wouldn't it float away?
Me: .... same reason the astronauts don't float away?
Her: Yes but I don't really know why that is either. I thought they had sort of anti gravity boots or something.
Me: ..... you know there's gravity on the moon, right?
Her: No there isn't.
Some discussion
Her: You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you?
Me: No darling of course not.
Rob Brydon: It was, of course, A LIE.
Not my wife, but a friend of my brother-in-law’s wife when we’d been to a dinner party at her house.
Her, “Would you like a drink Frank?
Me, “Yes please, I’d like a vodka, lots of ice, no fruit, and tonic please.”
Her, “Slice of lemon, or would you prefer lime?”
Me, “Neither thanks, I did say no fruit”
Her, “So you did, don’t you want ice either?”
Me, “Yes please, I did say lots of ice.”
Her, (after maybe 5 minutes), “We seem to be out of vodka, how about rum?”
Me, “No thanks, I’ll just have cold water please.”
Her, “Would you like a drink Frank?
Me, “Yes please, I’d like a vodka, lots of ice, no fruit, and tonic please.”
Her, “Slice of lemon, or would you prefer lime?”
Me, “Neither thanks, I did say no fruit”
Her, “So you did, don’t you want ice either?”
Me, “Yes please, I did say lots of ice.”
Her, (after maybe 5 minutes), “We seem to be out of vodka, how about rum?”
Me, “No thanks, I’ll just have cold water please.”
That much is true.Not really a "classic from the mrs", well not at all, just wanted a moan.
We are out tonight for a surprise birthday meal with 20 people, at a restaurant and we pay for ourselves.
I and everyone else will be fine with an even split of the bill, however the wife always has this issue when there is a big group that we may underpay or someone else will over pay.
So she will say something along the lines of "well Alex had 5 beers and I think everyone else had 3 so I don't think it is fair that someone subsidises the extra beers so we'll pay for those", always failing to neglect that most may have had a dessert (I don't do desserts), someone who had 3 beers also had a brandy and an expensive main and the token big drinker women had copious cocktails and bottles of wine.
it drives me bloody mad, I know she means well but it just complicates everything and it all comes out in the wash anyway.
We are out tonight for a surprise birthday meal with 20 people, at a restaurant and we pay for ourselves.
I and everyone else will be fine with an even split of the bill, however the wife always has this issue when there is a big group that we may underpay or someone else will over pay.
So she will say something along the lines of "well Alex had 5 beers and I think everyone else had 3 so I don't think it is fair that someone subsidises the extra beers so we'll pay for those", always failing to neglect that most may have had a dessert (I don't do desserts), someone who had 3 beers also had a brandy and an expensive main and the token big drinker women had copious cocktails and bottles of wine.
it drives me bloody mad, I know she means well but it just complicates everything and it all comes out in the wash anyway.
HTP99 said:
Not really a "classic from the mrs", well not at all, just wanted a moan.
We are out tonight for a surprise birthday meal with 20 people, at a restaurant and we pay for ourselves.
I and everyone else will be fine with an even split of the bill, however the wife always has this issue when there is a big group that we may underpay or someone else will over pay.
So she will say something along the lines of "well Alex had 5 beers and I think everyone else had 3 so I don't think it is fair that someone subsidises the extra beers so we'll pay for those", always failing to neglect that most may have had a dessert (I don't do desserts), someone who had 3 beers also had a brandy and an expensive main and the token big drinker women had copious cocktails and bottles of wine.
it drives me bloody mad, I know she means well but it just complicates everything and it all comes out in the wash anyway.
Glad you got that off your chest We are out tonight for a surprise birthday meal with 20 people, at a restaurant and we pay for ourselves.
I and everyone else will be fine with an even split of the bill, however the wife always has this issue when there is a big group that we may underpay or someone else will over pay.
So she will say something along the lines of "well Alex had 5 beers and I think everyone else had 3 so I don't think it is fair that someone subsidises the extra beers so we'll pay for those", always failing to neglect that most may have had a dessert (I don't do desserts), someone who had 3 beers also had a brandy and an expensive main and the token big drinker women had copious cocktails and bottles of wine.
it drives me bloody mad, I know she means well but it just complicates everything and it all comes out in the wash anyway.
Usget said:
You cheeky git, what is she, a cocktail waitress!?
No, she was my host and she asked if I’d like a drink, I could’ve said, “Yes please, I’d like a vodka and tonic if you have it.”I’m guessing she’d have said “Ice?”, and after, “Lemon?”
I just thought that I’d cut to the chase, I like a lot of ice, but I don’t take lemon or lime in alcoholic drinks, so I told her how I’d like it if she had it.
No different really if someone visiting my house was asked if they’d like coffee, it wouldn’t bother me if they asked for it black, milky, sugar, no sugar, or said I’d like a coffee, but please, not instant.
Driving out of the small close in which we live, another car passes us on the way in.
Mrs Sc: That's the woman from number 8
Me: You recognised her?
Mrs SC: No, I recognised the car (which was a white Audi).
So I think about this for a minute, then ask
Did you recognise the registration?
Mrs SC: No
Me: What sort of car is it?
Mrs SC: Don't know
Me: Two door or four door?
Mrs SC: I don't know (sounding exasperated)
Me: (change of subject)
Mrs Sc: That's the woman from number 8
Me: You recognised her?
Mrs SC: No, I recognised the car (which was a white Audi).
So I think about this for a minute, then ask
Did you recognise the registration?
Mrs SC: No
Me: What sort of car is it?
Mrs SC: Don't know
Me: Two door or four door?
Mrs SC: I don't know (sounding exasperated)
Me: (change of subject)
Shuvi McTupya said:
Frank7 said:
, or said I’d like a coffee, but please, not instant.
"No problem, just let me know when you want it"intelligent enough to know that for your feeble gag to work, then it’s instantly, not instant,
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