Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
blueg33 said:
SpeckledJim said:
DVR are up there with thermostats in terms of simply not getting it.
I've trained mine on thermostats - took about 20 years. I think the cat understood it before she did.But I am yet to convince her that a pan of water that is boiling when the hob is set at 5 is exactly the same temperature as a pan of boiling water when the hob is turned up to 10. I have also tried explaining latent heat but that was a total fail.
I'm still working on the lines of
"See all those clouds? That's the energy we paid for escaping out of the pan. Put the lid on the pan."
"See that mould on the ceiling? That's where the expensive escaping energy went. That's not just mould. That's expensive mould. PUT THE SODDING LID ON!!!"
"The capacity of the washing machine is not literally how much clothing you can fit in it. If it can't move, it can't drain, and that's why the clothes come out sopping wet."
"See that damp everywhere? That's because you A: overload the washing machine, and B: then try to dry the sopping clothes indoors. SODDING STOP IT!!!!"
SpeckledJim said:
blueg33 said:
SpeckledJim said:
DVR are up there with thermostats in terms of simply not getting it.
I've trained mine on thermostats - took about 20 years. I think the cat understood it before she did.But I am yet to convince her that a pan of water that is boiling when the hob is set at 5 is exactly the same temperature as a pan of boiling water when the hob is turned up to 10. I have also tried explaining latent heat but that was a total fail.
I'm still working on the lines of
"See all those clouds? That's the energy we paid for escaping out of the pan. Put the lid on the pan."
"See that mould on the ceiling? That's where the expensive escaping energy went. That's not just mould. That's expensive mould. PUT THE SODDING LID ON!!!"
"The capacity of the washing machine is not literally how much clothing you can fit in it. If it can't move, it can't drain, and that's why the clothes come out sopping wet."
"See that damp everywhere? That's because you A: overload the washing machine, and B: then try to dry the sopping clothes indoors. SODDING STOP IT!!!!"
Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
Pinkie15 said:
On a similar vein:
Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
Do yourself a favour - buy some caustic soda and throw a pint of it down the sink every month or so Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
SpeckledJim said:
blueg33 said:
SpeckledJim said:
DVR are up there with thermostats in terms of simply not getting it.
I've trained mine on thermostats - took about 20 years. I think the cat understood it before she did.But I am yet to convince her that a pan of water that is boiling when the hob is set at 5 is exactly the same temperature as a pan of boiling water when the hob is turned up to 10. I have also tried explaining latent heat but that was a total fail.
I'm still working on the lines of
"See all those clouds? That's the energy we paid for escaping out of the pan. Put the lid on the pan."
"See that mould on the ceiling? That's where the expensive escaping energy went. That's not just mould. That's expensive mould. PUT THE SODDING LID ON!!!"
"The capacity of the washing machine is not literally how much clothing you can fit in it. If it can't move, it can't drain, and that's why the clothes come out sopping wet."
"See that damp everywhere? That's because you A: overload the washing machine, and B: then try to dry the sopping clothes indoors. SODDING STOP IT!!!!"
Hmmm...Krikkit said:
Pinkie15 said:
On a similar vein:
Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
Do yourself a favour - buy some caustic soda and throw a pint of it down the sink every month or so Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
"It is going to be interesting PR for that guy from ACDC who was on Top Gear now Boris is Prime Minister".
Me "Meh?".
W "That Boris Jo(h)ns(t)on from ACDC, now he's got the same name as out Prime Minister he will really have to work on keeping his media profile up".
Me "You mean Brian Johnson, second singer from ACDC do you?".
W "Yep, that is him, with the black cap and floppy blonde hair".
I've left her discussing the merits of the cabinet reshuffle with the Hamster. (Pet animal one, not Richard Hammond).
Me "Meh?".
W "That Boris Jo(h)ns(t)on from ACDC, now he's got the same name as out Prime Minister he will really have to work on keeping his media profile up".
Me "You mean Brian Johnson, second singer from ACDC do you?".
W "Yep, that is him, with the black cap and floppy blonde hair".
I've left her discussing the merits of the cabinet reshuffle with the Hamster. (Pet animal one, not Richard Hammond).
I was driving my mum to look at carpets over the weekend, as she hates driving.
So we are driving to a carpet shop and my sat nav says take 2nd exit on to A3020 (or whatever) she complains that it is not very clear instructions as non of the roads have numbers on them. She is correct but it’s an urban environment, and clear in conjunction with the little display in front of the driver.
Next roundabout she says the same. I explain again that with the little display it’s quite clear. She then says “what would I do in my car, it does not have a little display in front of me?”
Me “does your car have sat nav?” (I knew it did not)
Her “no”
Me “well it would not be directing you”
Her “yes, but if it did, how would I know where it was telling me to go?”
Me “err it does not have sat nav so won’t tell you where to go”
I am fairly sure she went home and looked at her car for a little screen to tell her where to go. LOL
So we are driving to a carpet shop and my sat nav says take 2nd exit on to A3020 (or whatever) she complains that it is not very clear instructions as non of the roads have numbers on them. She is correct but it’s an urban environment, and clear in conjunction with the little display in front of the driver.
Next roundabout she says the same. I explain again that with the little display it’s quite clear. She then says “what would I do in my car, it does not have a little display in front of me?”
Me “does your car have sat nav?” (I knew it did not)
Her “no”
Me “well it would not be directing you”
Her “yes, but if it did, how would I know where it was telling me to go?”
Me “err it does not have sat nav so won’t tell you where to go”
I am fairly sure she went home and looked at her car for a little screen to tell her where to go. LOL
Classic on Saturday.
We are buying a 1847 house. We need furniture. She's seen this place in Birkdale Village that buys old furniture and upcycles, or shabby chics it.
She takes me to a dining table. It's nice enough.
I suddenly recognise it.
That's the dining table my nan gave me in 1989 , That you never liked and we ended up giving it to my sister, which every time you go to her house you remind me how you don't like it.
The only difference. It that they've sanded to top and removed the fake teak finish and painted the legs olive. I'm f
ked if I'm paying £400 quid for a table you have away 20 years ago.
The classic from her : it is? Bloody hell. It is.
We are buying a 1847 house. We need furniture. She's seen this place in Birkdale Village that buys old furniture and upcycles, or shabby chics it.
She takes me to a dining table. It's nice enough.
I suddenly recognise it.
That's the dining table my nan gave me in 1989 , That you never liked and we ended up giving it to my sister, which every time you go to her house you remind me how you don't like it.
The only difference. It that they've sanded to top and removed the fake teak finish and painted the legs olive. I'm f
ked if I'm paying £400 quid for a table you have away 20 years ago. The classic from her : it is? Bloody hell. It is.
bimsb6 said:
Krikkit said:
Pinkie15 said:
On a similar vein:
Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
Do yourself a favour - buy some caustic soda and throw a pint of it down the sink every month or so Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
[one for the spelling police, or classics from the Mr ?]
Krikkit said:
Pinkie15 said:
On a similar vein:
Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
Do yourself a favour - buy some caustic soda and throw a pint of it down the sink every month or so Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
SpeckledJim said:
Shakermaker said:
blueg33 said:
Watching a recorded programme on the Sky Box, she choose it and selected play. A trailer comes on advertising a programme in 10 minutes.
Mrs says "I want to watch that, so you will have to change the channel in 10 minutes"
Me................."???? we recorded this weeks ago. "
Her - "I know but that programme they just advertised is on in 10 minutes that's what they said"
10 minutes later she says "Will you turn over now"
Me "OK" I select the channel
Her "thats strange, its not on"
Me "gosh really?"
My sister said something similar years ago, she put on a show recorded a few weeks earlier and then said "That's funny they're still advertising all the Christmas stuff now, its January!"Mrs says "I want to watch that, so you will have to change the channel in 10 minutes"
Me................."???? we recorded this weeks ago. "
Her - "I know but that programme they just advertised is on in 10 minutes that's what they said"
10 minutes later she says "Will you turn over now"
Me "OK" I select the channel
Her "thats strange, its not on"
Me "gosh really?"
nikaiyo2 said:
I was driving my mum to look at carpets over the weekend, as she hates driving.
So we are driving to a carpet shop and my sat nav says take 2nd exit on to A3020 (or whatever) she complains that it is not very clear instructions as non of the roads have numbers on them. She is correct but it’s an urban environment, and clear in conjunction with the little display in front of the driver.
Next roundabout she says the same. I explain again that with the little display it’s quite clear. She then says “what would I do in my car, it does not have a little display in front of me?”
Me “does your car have sat nav?” (I knew it did not)
Her “no”
Me “well it would not be directing you”
Her “yes, but if it did, how would I know where it was telling me to go?”
Me “err it does not have sat nav so won’t tell you where to go”
I am fairly sure she went home and looked at her car for a little screen to tell her where to go. LOL
Some early navs didn't have a map, just a voice command and an arrow on a very basic DIS screen.So we are driving to a carpet shop and my sat nav says take 2nd exit on to A3020 (or whatever) she complains that it is not very clear instructions as non of the roads have numbers on them. She is correct but it’s an urban environment, and clear in conjunction with the little display in front of the driver.
Next roundabout she says the same. I explain again that with the little display it’s quite clear. She then says “what would I do in my car, it does not have a little display in front of me?”
Me “does your car have sat nav?” (I knew it did not)
Her “no”
Me “well it would not be directing you”
Her “yes, but if it did, how would I know where it was telling me to go?”
Me “err it does not have sat nav so won’t tell you where to go”
I am fairly sure she went home and looked at her car for a little screen to tell her where to go. LOL
A right royal pita.
Pinkie15 said:
Krikkit said:
Pinkie15 said:
On a similar vein:
Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
Do yourself a favour - buy some caustic soda and throw a pint of it down the sink every month or so Mw: Why don't you put the kitchen sink bung in to stop the crude going down the plug ?
OH: Cos it gets bunged up with crude and the sink won't drain.
Role on 6 months - OH: the sink won't drain can you unblock it
Rinse & repeat, occasionally interspersed with; why are taking the sink drain plumbing apart ?
Grrrrrr
Pit Pony said:
Classic on Saturday.
We are buying a 1847 house. We need furniture. She's seen this place in Birkdale Village that buys old furniture and upcycles, or shabby chics it.
She takes me to a dining table. It's nice enough.
I suddenly recognise it.
That's the dining table my nan gave me in 1989 , That you never liked and we ended up giving it to my sister, which every time you go to her house you remind me how you don't like it.
The only difference. It that they've sanded to top and removed the fake teak finish and painted the legs olive. I'm fked if I'm paying £400 quid for a table you have away 20 years ago.
The classic from her : it is? Bloody hell. It is.
Getting, old! 30 years ago! unless you kept it 10 yearsWe are buying a 1847 house. We need furniture. She's seen this place in Birkdale Village that buys old furniture and upcycles, or shabby chics it.
She takes me to a dining table. It's nice enough.
I suddenly recognise it.
That's the dining table my nan gave me in 1989 , That you never liked and we ended up giving it to my sister, which every time you go to her house you remind me how you don't like it.
The only difference. It that they've sanded to top and removed the fake teak finish and painted the legs olive. I'm f
ked if I'm paying £400 quid for a table you have away 20 years ago. The classic from her : it is? Bloody hell. It is.
must be a pretty good table though to have survived...
nonsequitur said:
Have thrown gallons of 'stuff' down my septic, other than the obvious. Still bubbling away, like a witches brew, after almost 40 years.
Out of interest, what sort of heat does that generate?Worth bunging a few hundred metres of hose for your domestic heating water in there to give your boiler a helping hand!?
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff