Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

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Discussion

nonsequitur

20,083 posts

117 months

Thursday 25th July 2019
quotequote all
SpeckledJim said:
nonsequitur said:
Have thrown gallons of 'stuff' down my septic, other than the obvious. Still bubbling away, like a witches brew, after almost 40 years.
Out of interest, what sort of heat does that generate?

Worth bunging a few hundred metres of hose for your domestic heating water in there to give your boiler a helping hand!?

smile
Not bubbling as in hot water. There is a digester within the tank that gurgles continously helping to keep the fluid level low, by pumping it into a soakaway. (Or something).

SpeckledJim

31,608 posts

254 months

Thursday 25th July 2019
quotequote all
nonsequitur said:
SpeckledJim said:
nonsequitur said:
Have thrown gallons of 'stuff' down my septic, other than the obvious. Still bubbling away, like a witches brew, after almost 40 years.
Out of interest, what sort of heat does that generate?

Worth bunging a few hundred metres of hose for your domestic heating water in there to give your boiler a helping hand!?

smile
Not bubbling as in hot water. There is a digester within the tank that gurgles continously helping to keep the fluid level low, by pumping it into a soakaway. (Or something).
All that bacteria doing their thing must be generating some heat though? Or not? Genuine question.

Second Best

6,404 posts

182 months

Thursday 25th July 2019
quotequote all
She's Italian, with a strong accent. I came downstairs today to hear her arguing with my Echo - this happens quite often, and it's hilarious every single time.

> "How hot will it be today?" (note: strong accent)
"Sorry, I don't know the answer to that question."
> "What is the temperature today?"
"It's sunny."
> "What is the weather today?"
"It's 34 degrees, with a high of 37 degrees.
> "What is the weather tomorrow?
-no response
> "What is the weather tomorrow?"
"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

This sort of thing continued for a while, she gets more and more frustrated when Alexa doesn't understand her and the accent gets even stronger. It's a self-deprecating cycle.

hidetheelephants

24,472 posts

194 months

Friday 26th July 2019
quotequote all
RizzoTheRat said:
nonsequitur said:
Have thrown gallons of 'stuff' down my septic, other than the obvious. Still bubbling away, like a witches brew, after almost 40 years.
My father always reckoned you should throw a dead rabbit in there every so often just to make sure there were plenty of bacteria biggrin
Because there's such a shortage of bacteria in human ste. hehe

hidetheelephants

24,472 posts

194 months

Friday 26th July 2019
quotequote all
Do Amazon not sell these things in Italy? Or do even Italian market echo things not understand Italians? Perhaps they need her to wave her arms around in a more authentically mediterranean way?

LHRFlightman

1,940 posts

171 months

Friday 26th July 2019
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Driving down the west coast of California, the kids ask Mum to choose the next song.

She watched Bohemian Rhapsody on the flight over and came up with this this gem.

“Play Queen Radio GaGa” She then starts humming We Will Rock You. And finishes it all off by telling us it was written by Eddie Murphy.

biglaugh




Markytop

634 posts

220 months

Friday 26th July 2019
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Was the birthday yesterday of my wife's cousin, she turned 46.

Wife says "So she is two years older than you then?"

"Yes, given I'm 44 so maths suggests she is now indeed 2 years older than me".

"OK"

A minute or so passes (and I can already sense the intense brain activity going on) before she then asks:

"So when we met up with her last year, were you two years older than her then?"

banghead

karona

1,918 posts

187 months

Friday 26th July 2019
quotequote all
Second Best said:
she gets more and more frustrated when Alexa doesn't understand her
"Hey Google, put Gin on my shopping list"

Third time lucky biggrin


Doofus

25,842 posts

174 months

Friday 26th July 2019
quotequote all
Markytop said:
Was the birthday yesterday of my wife's cousin, she turned 46.

Wife says "So she is two years older than you then?"

"Yes, given I'm 44 so maths suggests she is now indeed 2 years older than me".

"OK"

A minute or so passes (and I can already sense the intense brain activity going on) before she then asks:

"So when we met up with her last year, were you two years older than her then?"

banghead
It was my birthday last week and, numerically speaking, I am currently one year younger than my sister. After next Wednesday, I'll be two years younger than her again.

Blown2CV

28,865 posts

204 months

Friday 26th July 2019
quotequote all
Markytop said:
Was the birthday yesterday of my wife's cousin, she turned 46.

Wife says "So she is two years older than you then?"

"Yes, given I'm 44 so maths suggests she is now indeed 2 years older than me".

"OK"

A minute or so passes (and I can already sense the intense brain activity going on) before she then asks:

"So when we met up with her last year, were you two years older than her then?"

banghead
i don't believe this one.

bobtail4x4

3,717 posts

110 months

Friday 26th July 2019
quotequote all
woman at work is/was 2 months older than me, every year on my birthday she would ask "are you older than me now?"

srebbe64

13,021 posts

238 months

Friday 26th July 2019
quotequote all
My old mum, when she’s not in the house but is expecting visitors, leaves a post-it label on the door saying ‘the key is under the mat’.

Speed 3

4,591 posts

120 months

Friday 26th July 2019
quotequote all
karona said:
"Hey Google, put Gin on my shopping list"

Third time lucky biggrin

This was my conversation with Mrs S3 from Sainsburys this morning:


AW111

9,674 posts

134 months

Saturday 27th July 2019
quotequote all
Doofus said:
It was my birthday last week and, numerically speaking, I am currently one year younger than my sister. After next Wednesday, I'll be two years younger than her again.
Same here. It somehow doesn't seem as important now as when we were 6 & 7.

GroundEffect

13,844 posts

157 months

Saturday 27th July 2019
quotequote all
hidetheelephants said:
Do Amazon not sell these things in Italy? Or do even Italian market echo things not understand Italians? Perhaps they need her to wave her arms around in a more authentically mediterranean way?
They might, just might, be speaking a different language in Italy.

Irony in such a thread...

glenrobbo

35,293 posts

151 months

Saturday 27th July 2019
quotequote all
Skyedriver said:
havoc said:
Erm, there IS a space in the latin name for humans.

To distinguish us from homo neanderthalis, homo erectus, homo habilis, homo floriensis, etc. etc.
Homo ntherange?
Excellent stuff there from SD biggrin
Top marks! thumbup

Skyedriver

17,895 posts

283 months

Saturday 27th July 2019
quotequote all
glenrobbo said:
Skyedriver said:
havoc said:
Erm, there IS a space in the latin name for humans.

To distinguish us from homo neanderthalis, homo erectus, homo habilis, homo floriensis, etc. etc.
Homo ntherange?
Excellent stuff there from SD biggrin
Top marks! thumbup
Thanks, it's where Old Dears and Aunty Lopez Play

Frank7

6,619 posts

88 months

Monday 29th July 2019
quotequote all
Not my wife, but her sister-in-law Lesley, her brothers wife,

She’s visiting us, and says, “Anything on TV?”
I check, and notice “Young Sheldon” has been recorded, it’s a bit lightweight, but I’m easily amused, I like it, so I put it on.
It’s Sheldon Cooper, from “The Big Bang Theory”, as a 10 y.o. in a hick town in East Texas, I guess around 1990.
In this episode, young Sheldon is running for class President, against a young girl, who, in addressing the school, is labouring the fact that Sheldon doesn’t like football, and is pushing for more homework, as he loves to learn.
Sheldon’s twin sister, Missy, has been gathering dirt on his opponent, and apparently she’s originally from New York.
When it’s his turn to address the students, he drops the bombshell that his opponent is a Yankee, and shouts, “Don’t mess with Texas!”
Naturally, Sheldon wins the election, but Lesley says, “Hold on, the GIRL’S a Yankee?, THEY’RE ALL YANKS AREN’T THEY?”
There followed a brief discourse on the Civil War, using words like Federal, secession, Confederate, Southerners, Northerners, Lincoln, Jeff Davis, Dixie, emancipation etc.
I really thought that I’d explained it satisfactorily, but Lesley, (looking exasperated), said, “I love the U.S., but I’ll never understand the place.”

Doofus

25,842 posts

174 months

Monday 29th July 2019
quotequote all
Frank7 said:
I really thought that I’d explained it satisfactorily
You may have thought that, but I haven't the faintest clue what you are talking about.

Daston

6,075 posts

204 months

Monday 29th July 2019
quotequote all
Doofus said:
You may have thought that, but I haven't the faintest clue what you are talking about.
I think it was "American TV Show based in Texas has North American Character (Yankee). Lady thought all Americans were Yanks and so OP explained the American Civil War and how they are not all Yank's etc......Lady was still confused"

Or something like that.