Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[matchmaker]

Cliftonite said:

Saddle bum said:

She did not actually say anything, but I would like to know how, when I am upstairs working on my PC and she drops a wine glass in the kitchen - it is my fault?

Of course it is. You drank from it and/or left it there and/or saw it there and didn't move it to a place of safety. Didn't you?

Or you should have been there to catch it...

[Timmy40]

matchmaker said:

Cliftonite said:

Saddle bum said:

She did not actually say anything, but I would like to know how, when I am upstairs working on my PC and she drops a wine glass in the kitchen - it is my fault?

Of course it is. You drank from it and/or left it there and/or saw it there and didn't move it to a place of safety. Didn't you?

Or you should have been there to catch it...

you knew she was tired/half pissed but instead of being there for her you sat upstairs playing on your computer. No BJs for you young man.

[williredale]

Timmy40 said:

matchmaker said:

Cliftonite said:

Saddle bum said:

She did not actually say anything, but I would like to know how, when I am upstairs working on my PC and she drops a wine glass in the kitchen - it is my fault?

Of course it is. You drank from it and/or left it there and/or saw it there and didn't move it to a place of safety. Didn't you?

Or you should have been there to catch it...

you knew she was tired/half pissed but instead of being there for her you sat upstairs playing on your computer. No BJs for you young man.

You mean you didn't fetch a glass of winw for her?!? You bad bad man.

[simoid]

C.A.R. said:

Ooh I know this one.

You put the floor there? Obvious really. Selfish of you.

If there was no floor, there would be no broken wine glass

[driverrob]

williredale said:

Timmy40 said:

matchmaker said:

Cliftonite said:

Saddle bum said:

She did not actually say anything, but I would like to know how, when I am upstairs working on my PC and she drops a wine glass in the kitchen - it is my fault?

Of course it is. You drank from it and/or left it there and/or saw it there and didn't move it to a place of safety. Didn't you?

Or you should have been there to catch it...

you knew she was tired/half pissed but instead of being there for her you sat upstairs playing on your computer. No BJs for you young man.

You mean you didn't fetch a glass of winw for her?!? You bad bad man.

Perhaps it's time to remind us of the rules:

[NRS]

It's like those lists of things a guy should do that single girls post about; "he should say sorry and hug me even when I'm wrong".

Really?

[Vipers]

So I have just finished washing up tonight, and just sprayed cleaner to clean the sink.

At that moment I let one rip, talk about thunder, she says -

"Oh I love the smell of that", as I laughed, she realised why and said,

"I mean the sink cleaner". Silly me.

[simoid]

Not mine, in fact it probably wasn't anyone's missus tbh:

"If you can't handle me at my worst; you don't deserve me at my best."

[vx220]

Two in one night!

New front wing delivered today, for my Bora. She put it in the conservatory, then said "we shouldn't leave that out there, it could melt in the sun"

Really?

Then, I was talking to the lad who's staying with us at the moment about a video of an octopus living in a bottle on the sea bed (can't remember why...) and I notice she is looking at me strangely. Turns out she was only half listening, and thought it was something I'd seen at the Suffolk Agricultural show I'd been to today...

Maintain eye contact, back slowly away toward the door...

ETA http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DT97tS_XeaU

Edited by vx220 on Thursday 28th May 22:30

[Carthage]

Saddle bum said:

She did not actually say anything, but I would like to know how, when I am upstairs working on my PC and she drops a wine glass in the kitchen - it is my fault?

'She didn't actually say anything...'
I can only aspire to instilling this level of guilt, paranoia and confusion in my current victim.

[Joshsl]

matchmaker said:

Classic from older son. He's changing a spring on his Astra.

(on phone)son: I need you to go to Halfords and get a breaker bar. I can't shift this fking bolt.
Me (wearily): OK, with you in 20 minutes.

20 minutes later, at lockup with big fk off breaker bar.

Son: That's it on. Will you push down on the breaker bar?
Me: You mean pull up on the breaker bar...
Son: fk!

Doesnt that depend on what way you have the bar i.e if the bar is to the left of the bolt you would push down, if the bar is to the right of the bolt you would pull up

[phil1979]

My wife did a great one last night.

Our 2-year old was getting a little too brave for his own good whilst playing on his scooter thing, and my wife said "Be careful, Christian, you're not Wheelie K'neelie".

[Scousefella]

phil1979 said:

Wheelie K'neelie.

That deserves a

[matchmaker]

Joshsl said:

matchmaker said:

Classic from older son. He's changing a spring on his Astra.

(on phone)son: I need you to go to Halfords and get a breaker bar. I can't shift this fking bolt.
Me (wearily): OK, with you in 20 minutes.

20 minutes later, at lockup with big fk off breaker bar.

Son: That's it on. Will you push down on the breaker bar?
Me: You mean pull up on the breaker bar...
Son: fk!

Doesnt that depend on what way you have the bar i.e if the bar is to the left of the bolt you would push down, if the bar is to the right of the bolt you would pull up

True, but whichever way, he should have known that it's anti-clockwise to undo! My wife knows this, and she has bugger all qualifications.

He, however, has an NC in mechanical engineering...

[vx220]

matchmaker said:

True, but whichever way, he should have known that it's anti-clockwise to undo! My wife knows this, and she has bugger all qualifications.

He, however, has an NC in mechanical engineering...

Not unheard of to find an opposite thread

Had this on the front anti roll bar of my old XR3i...

[Hooli]

vx220 said:

matchmaker said:

True, but whichever way, he should have known that it's anti-clockwise to undo! My wife knows this, and she has bugger all qualifications.

He, however, has an NC in mechanical engineering...

Not unheard of to find an opposite thread

Had this on the front anti roll bar of my old XR3i...

Seen it a few times on LH wheel bearings too, and something else I forget. But it always bugged me as it seemed to be for no reason except to annoy you when you wanted to fix it.

[DeuxCentCinq]

simoid said:

Not mine, in fact it probably wasn't anyone's missus tbh:

"If you can't handle me at my worst; you don't deserve me at my best."

I know a (very) high maintenance girl who actually has a tattoo of this.

[barwea]

Hooli said:

Seen it a few times on LH wheel bearings too, and something else I forget.

Left-hand pedal on a bike is usually revere-thread

[Triumph Man]

Hooli said:

vx220 said:

matchmaker said:

True, but whichever way, he should have known that it's anti-clockwise to undo! My wife knows this, and she has bugger all qualifications.

He, however, has an NC in mechanical engineering...

Not unheard of to find an opposite thread

Had this on the front anti roll bar of my old XR3i...

Seen it a few times on LH wheel bearings too, and something else I forget. But it always bugged me as it seemed to be for no reason except to annoy you when you wanted to fix it.

And viscous fan couplings have a reverse thread

[Ari]

phil1979 said:

My wife did a great one last night.

Our 2-year old was getting a little too brave for his own good whilst playing on his scooter thing, and my wife said "Be careful, Christian, you're not Wheelie K'neelie".

Genius!