Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[PositronicRay]

I'm preparing bubble and squeak, go to add some lardons. Several packs in fridge.

Wife beast sensibly says 'pay attention to the date codes" I thank her, she replies "it what defines me as a woman"

(I know enough not to remind her of the last statement)

[snoopy25]

PositronicRay said:

I'm preparing bubble and squeak, go to add some lardons. Several packs in fridge.

Wife beast sensibly says 'pay attention to the date codes" I thank her, she replies "it what defines me as a woman"

(I know enough not to remind her of the last statement)

Wife beast?!?!?!

[Doofus]

snoopy25 said:

PositronicRay said:

I'm preparing bubble and squeak, go to add some lardons. Several packs in fridge.

Wife beast sensibly says 'pay attention to the date codes" I thank her, she replies "it what defines me as a woman"

(I know enough not to remind her of the last statement)

Wife beast?!?!?!

He has a husband beast too. They're for alternate days.

[Dick Dastardly]

Walking around Budapest with the wife and we stop in front of a massive church with a great big cross on the front of it.

“Do you think that’s one of those Jewish Mosques?”

Was I responsible for genocide in a past life?

[QuartzDad]

We always have 'table presents' on the 25th, something small and funny to open with the turkey.

Son is a bit of a Bond fan so he got 007 Top Trumps. Mrs bought it from Amazon.

It's entirely in German.

[DocJock]

We're shopping and I'm reversing into a space...

Wife: Do you want me to adjust this mirror?
Me: No, why?
Wife: It's just I can't see much in the mirror.
Me: (in my head) WTF?...

[Bright Halo]

Driving past a field my wife says “Those sheep have very long necks”

Me

That’s an Alpaca farm dear


I have posted the above before but I drove past some Alpacas today (wife not with me) and it reminded me

[r159]

Not the wife, but my sister (two separate people...)

She booked us to watch Star Wars, when I asked if the seats were confirmed she said, yes not sure if it’s the right film as the website says Star Wars one X...

[NoVetec]

QuartzDad said:

We always have 'table presents' on the 25th, something small and funny to open with the turkey.

Son is a bit of a Bond fan so he got 007 Top Trumps. Mrs bought it from Amazon.

It's entirely in German.

What a Blofeld!

[blueg33]

Not my wife, but a friends boss who is head teacher at a secondary school.

She has introduced a one way system for students moving around the school. So if you need to go to your next lesson in the adjacent classroom and it’s on the wrong side you have to walk all the way round the school or get an order mark. All lessons now start late and teachers who don’t have the one way system have to try and go against a stream of students.

The idea didn’t last long!

[Vipers]

blueg33 said:

Not my wife, but a friends boss who is head teacher at a secondary school.

She has introduced a one way system for students moving around the school. So if you need to go to your next lesson in the adjacent classroom and it’s on the wrong side you have to walk all the way round the school or get an order mark. All lessons now start late and teachers who don’t have the one way system have to try and go against a stream of students.

The idea didn’t last long!

And there lies the answer

[KAgantua]

DocJock said:

We're shopping and I'm reversing into a space...

Wife: Do you want me to adjust this mirror?
Me: No, why?
Wife: It's just I can't see much in the mirror.
Me: (in my head) WTF?...

[nonsequitur]

QuartzDad said:

We always have 'table presents' on the 25th, something small and funny to open with the turkey.

Son is a bit of a Bond fan so he got 007 Top Trumps. Mrs bought it from Amazon.

It's entirely in German.

Ve haf been expecting you Mr Bond.

[john2443]

DocJock said:

We're shopping and I'm reversing into a space...

Wife: Do you want me to adjust this mirror?
Me: No, why?
Wife: It's just I can't see much in the mirror.
Me: (in my head) WTF?...

When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!

[Monkeylegend]

john2443 said:

When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!

Mine does the same, leans forward at just the wrong time to pick her back pack up or to put her purse or phone back in it.

So annoying but she doesn't realise what she is doing and I daren't tell her

[Blown2CV]

Monkeylegend said:

john2443 said:

When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!

Mine does the same, leans forward at just the wrong time to pick her back pack up or to put her purse or phone back in it.

So annoying but she doesn't realise what she is doing and I daren't tell her

mine does it pretty much whenever i need to use the passenger mirror, and i do dare tell her.

[Monkeylegend]

Blown2CV said:

Monkeylegend said:

john2443 said:

When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!

Mine does the same, leans forward at just the wrong time to pick her back pack up or to put her purse or phone back in it.

So annoying but she doesn't realise what she is doing and I daren't tell her

mine does it pretty much whenever i need to use the passenger mirror, and i do dare tell her.

I was kidding with that bit, I just lean over and shove her back in her seat.

It's amazing how much power a 5' 2" lady can get into a left hook from a sitting position.

[SunsetZed]

Monkeylegend said:

john2443 said:

When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!

Mine does the same, leans forward at just the wrong time to pick her back pack up or to put her purse or phone back in it.

So annoying but she doesn't realise what she is doing and I daren't tell her

Don't complain, mine doesn't start sorting all that until the engine's off. Usually I'll have the kids out the car and the 3 of us will be standing there waiting for her to get her stuff sorted.I think the reason I find it odd is because with everything else she's really organised!

[HTP99]

SunsetZed said:

Monkeylegend said:

john2443 said:

When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!

Mine does the same, leans forward at just the wrong time to pick her back pack up or to put her purse or phone back in it.

So annoying but she doesn't realise what she is doing and I daren't tell her

Don't complain, mine doesn't start sorting all that until the engine's off. Usually I'll have the kids out the car and the 3 of us will be standing there waiting for her to get her stuff sorted.I think the reason I find it odd is because with everything else she's really organised!

All women seem to do this, the wife is the same.

On a longish trip she will take her shoes off but she won't make any attempt to put them on until we are stopped outside the house this is after she has farted about putting stuff back in her bag and then noticing something has slipped down the side of the seat, so she has to fumble around retrieving it, then she will finish texting/FB posting/buggering about with picture filters, etc, etc!! "just give me a minute"

[ambuletz]

SunsetZed said:

Monkeylegend said:

john2443 said:

When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!

Mine does the same, leans forward at just the wrong time to pick her back pack up or to put her purse or phone back in it.

So annoying but she doesn't realise what she is doing and I daren't tell her

Don't complain, mine doesn't start sorting all that until the engine's off. Usually I'll have the kids out the car and the 3 of us will be standing there waiting for her to get her stuff sorted.I think the reason I find it odd is because with everything else she's really organised!

I think all people do this sort of thing. Such as when you're driving and you've stopped at a junction that's blind, so you poke your head forwards then look left & right. The passenger will almost always copy you and also poke their neck forwards. But this only serves to obsecure your view of the left.

pretty annoying.
I'm concious of this and will always lean backwards into my headrest.