Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Author
Discussion

PositronicRay

27,048 posts

184 months

Wednesday 1st January 2020
quotequote all
HTP99 said:
SunsetZed said:
Monkeylegend said:
john2443 said:
When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!
hehe

Mine does the same, leans forward at just the wrong time to pick her back pack up or to put her purse or phone back in it.

So annoying but she doesn't realise what she is doing and I daren't tell her laugh
Don't complain, mine doesn't start sorting all that until the engine's off. Usually I'll have the kids out the car and the 3 of us will be standing there waiting for her to get her stuff sorted.I think the reason I find it odd is because with everything else she's really organised!
All women seem to do this, the wife is the same.

On a longish trip she will take her shoes off but she won't make any attempt to put them on until we are stopped outside the house this is after she has farted about putting stuff back in her bag and then noticing something has slipped down the side of the seat, so she has to fumble around retrieving it, then she will finish texting/FB posting/buggering about with picture filters, etc, etc!! "just give me a minute"
Dropping mine off on a busy high street, lights on red, quick exit required, is fraught with danger and angst

Skyedriver

17,898 posts

283 months

Wednesday 1st January 2020
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
Monkeylegend said:
john2443 said:
When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!
hehe

Mine does the same, leans forward at just the wrong time to pick her back pack up or to put her purse or phone back in it.

So annoying but she doesn't realise what she is doing and I daren't tell her laugh
mine does it pretty much whenever i need to use the passenger mirror, and i do dare tell her.
I just stop and wait......message gets through

DavieW

754 posts

109 months

Thursday 2nd January 2020
quotequote all
My wife was looking over my shoulder when I was reading this thread and said "I hope you haven't posted anything about me on there".

Eyersey1234

2,898 posts

80 months

Thursday 2nd January 2020
quotequote all
DavieW said:
My wife was looking over my shoulder when I was reading this thread and said "I hope you haven't posted anything about me on there".
laugh

Blown2CV

28,870 posts

204 months

Thursday 2nd January 2020
quotequote all
DavieW said:
My wife was looking over my shoulder when I was reading this thread and said "I hope you haven't posted anything about me on there".
she can hope!

Order66

6,728 posts

250 months

Thursday 2nd January 2020
quotequote all
Out for a drive in the country today.

Her: There's an ostrich..

....2 seconds...

Her: No, it's a sheep and a fence post..

Speed 3

4,592 posts

120 months

Thursday 2nd January 2020
quotequote all
Order66 said:
Out for a drive in the country today.

Her: There's an ostrich..

....2 seconds...

Her: No, it's a sheep and a fence post..
rofl

Order66

6,728 posts

250 months

Thursday 2nd January 2020
quotequote all
Also today on the same drive....in old BMW family workhorse, odometer reading 133335

me: aw, we just missed the speedo reading 133333

her: just reverse a bit


RizzoTheRat

25,192 posts

193 months

Friday 3rd January 2020
quotequote all
Skyedriver said:
Blown2CV said:
Monkeylegend said:
john2443 said:
When I'm reversing on the mirrors I can almost guarantee that my Mrs will lean forward to look in the passenger door mirror and all I can see is the back of her head!
hehe

Mine does the same, leans forward at just the wrong time to pick her back pack up or to put her purse or phone back in it.

So annoying but she doesn't realise what she is doing and I daren't tell her laugh
mine does it pretty much whenever i need to use the passenger mirror, and i do dare tell her.
I just stop and wait......message gets through
Tricky as my mrs nearly always manages to do it on a motorway when I'm just about to change lanes

Pothole

34,367 posts

283 months

Friday 3rd January 2020
quotequote all
PositronicRay said:
Dropping mine off on a busy high street, lights on red, quick exit required, is fraught with danger and angst
A situation entirely of your own making.

Frank7

6,619 posts

88 months

Friday 3rd January 2020
quotequote all
Pothole said:
PositronicRay said:
Dropping mine off on a busy high street, lights on red, quick exit required, is fraught with danger and angst
A situation entirely of your own making.
Not really, I doubt that Ray said, “I’ll stop at that red light, get your stuff together and hop out when you’re ready.”
In my experience, after 5 or 10 seconds at a red, a woman will say, “I won’t wait until you get around the corner, I’ll bail out here”, only then will they start to look for their purse, phone, shoes etc.
In my previous job, I was convinced that they’d sit there sighing at a red light, then at the exact second that it changed, they’d be out, standing at the f/n/s window scrabbling in their purse for change, while the enraged drivers behind would be chorusing, “Fu**ing Black Cab drivers, all the fu**ing same, wa*kers!”

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

101 months

Tuesday 7th January 2020
quotequote all
blueg33 said:
Not my wife, but a friends boss who is head teacher at a secondary school.

She has introduced a one way system for students moving around the school. So if you need to go to your next lesson in the adjacent classroom and it’s on the wrong side you have to walk all the way round the school or get an order mark. All lessons now start late and teachers who don’t have the one way system have to try and go against a stream of students.

The idea didn’t last long!
We had a "one way" system when I started at secondary school, apparently Mr Louis the deputy head had introduced at some point in the early 80s and it was still going and joined in the mid-90s. You could only go out of the building from the door by the main stairs, if you wanted to go "in" you had to go down to one of the ends of the building.

Nobody knows what purpose it served and nobody dared ask. But if Mr Louis caught you going "in" that way, you would be subject to his tirades, pupil or staff.

anonymous-user

55 months

Tuesday 7th January 2020
quotequote all
Shakermaker said:
We had a "one way" system when I started at secondary school, apparently Mr Louis the deputy head had introduced at some point in the early 80s and it was still going and joined in the mid-90s. You could only go out of the building from the door by the main stairs, if you wanted to go "in" you had to go down to one of the ends of the building.

Nobody knows what purpose it served and nobody dared ask. But if Mr Louis caught you going "in" that way, you would be subject to his tirades, pupil or staff.
That sort of thingperfectly captures what school is really for; crushing kids into accepting stupid, arbitrary, and petty rules devised by frustrated and angry power hungry walt tossers in preparation for an entire life of having to deal with such people

My school was always bitterly cold but for absolutely no reason whatsoever it was strictly forbidden to wear a coat anywhere within the dismal concrete building, a rule zealously enforced by people who themselves had no idea why such a rule existed but had never thought to question it.

Just thinking about school boils my piss grumpy

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

101 months

Tuesday 7th January 2020
quotequote all
stickleback123 said:
That sort of thingperfectly captures what school is really for; crushing kids into accepting stupid, arbitrary, and petty rules devised by frustrated and angry power hungry walt tossers in preparation for an entire life of having to deal with such people

My school was always bitterly cold but for absolutely no reason whatsoever it was strictly forbidden to wear a coat anywhere within the dismal concrete building, a rule zealously enforced by people who themselves had no idea why such a rule existed but had never thought to question it.

Just thinking about school boils my piss grumpy
SImiilary - school dress code says "black or dark blue coats only, no bright colours" for what they can wear to school,

Same kids then have to walk home along dark, unlit roads in winter when the sun has set at 4pm before the bus drops them off...

Evangelion

7,739 posts

179 months

Tuesday 7th January 2020
quotequote all
At our school the rule was that you always kept to the left in the corridors, nothing wrong with that.

However, they not only had a boys; and a girls' playground, but boys' and girls' stairs to go with i! So the simple process of moving from one classroom to another could involve walking the entire length of the school, up the stairs and the whole length back again.

When I mentioned this to the caretaker, he said, "Bit of discipline never does anybody any harm." Since I got older, I have realised he was absolutely right.

NickCQ

5,392 posts

97 months

Tuesday 7th January 2020
quotequote all
Frank7 said:
Not really, I doubt that Ray said, “I’ll stop at that red light, get your stuff together and hop out when you’re ready.”
In my experience, after 5 or 10 seconds at a red, a woman will say, “I won’t wait until you get around the corner, I’ll bail out here”, only then will they start to look for their purse, phone, shoes etc.
In my previous job, I was convinced that they’d sit there sighing at a red light, then at the exact second that it changed, they’d be out, standing at the f/n/s window scrabbling in their purse for change, while the enraged drivers behind would be chorusing, “Fu**ing Black Cab drivers, all the fu**ing same, wa*kers!”
If only there were a way to pay without coins... a situation entirely of your own making Frank (presumably you had a plastic bag over the 'broken' card machine)

sospan

2,486 posts

223 months

Tuesday 7th January 2020
quotequote all
QuartzDad said:
We always have 'table presents' on the 25th, something small and funny to open with the turkey.

Son is a bit of a Bond fan so he got 007 Top Trumps. Mrs bought it from Amazon.

It's entirely in German.
Wouldn’t it be easier to open them with scissors or a knife?

Gargamel

15,009 posts

262 months

Tuesday 7th January 2020
quotequote all
Evangelion said:
When I mentioned this to the caretaker, he said, "Bit of discipline never does anybody any harm." Since I got older, I have realised he was absolutely right.
Are you a school teacher now ?

cuprabob

14,677 posts

215 months

Tuesday 7th January 2020
quotequote all
Gargamel said:
Evangelion said:
When I mentioned this to the caretaker, he said, "Bit of discipline never does anybody any harm." Since I got older, I have realised he was absolutely right.
Are you a school teacher now ?
No, a dominatrix smile

Frank7

6,619 posts

88 months

Tuesday 7th January 2020
quotequote all
NickCQ said:
Frank7 said:
Not really, I doubt that Ray said, “I’ll stop at that red light, get your stuff together and hop out when you’re ready.”
In my experience, after 5 or 10 seconds at a red, a woman will say, “I won’t wait until you get around the corner, I’ll bail out here”, only then will they start to look for their purse, phone, shoes etc.
In my previous job, I was convinced that they’d sit there sighing at a red light, then at the exact second that it changed, they’d be out, standing at the f/n/s window scrabbling in their purse for change, while the enraged drivers behind would be chorusing, “Fu**ing Black Cab drivers, all the fu**ing same, wa*kers!”
If only there were a way to pay without coins... a situation entirely of your own making Frank (presumably you had a plastic bag over the 'broken' card machine)
An extremely outdated, if a tad predictable try Nick, not guilty I’m afraid, first off, I never refused a CC in my life, my attitude was why should I care if I don’t get the dough until next month when it appears on my bank statement, I’m guaranteed to get it.
In addition, while most fares proffered a CC at the start of the trip, so that the card could be validated, many would not pull the card out until they got to their destination, among them many dozy bints who thought that maybe it could be validated by my just looking at it, WRONG, I had to swipe the card through a groove in the onboard monitor, this took 5, maybe 8 seconds, still not funny to those drivers behind, who’d seen her hop out at the lights and hand it through my window.
In closing, a plastic bag wouldn’t have worked in my taxi, my monitor/validator was linked to the meter, card swipe no worky, meter no worky, meter no worky, ergo no money coming in, never a good idea for a taxi driver.
Still, don’t give up sniping away, you throw ‘em at me, I’ll knock ‘em out of the park.
I was no angel out there, I did a few questionable things, if you can hit me with one, I’ll raise my hands in surrender, but I did the job right, I went anywhere that the public wanted, north, south, east, or west, and I took pounds, (UK, Scottish, and N Irish), dollars, euros, debit and credit cards, but not cheques.