Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[Second Best]

You lot need to stop feeding the troll.

I had a new boiler fitted today. The guys are coming back tomorrow to fit a new diverter valve. At the moment, you either get a lukewarm shower (manageable for one night) or if you ask for too much heat, the entire system trips the safety valve and the boiler shuts down.

I explained to Miss SB - tonight we're showering in warm water. It'll be fixed tomorrow morning. Just live with it for one night. "Yes of course, no problem, got it". I even left the shower at the warmest temperature it'd get to before it tripped.

Tonight I went for a beer with a colleague. When I came back she was sitting in bed unhappy. She'd tried to shower, turned the water to her usual 90000000 degree temperature, and got in a huff when everything shut down. My explanation of "everything was set right before you tried to change it all, you know it's getting fixed tomorrow, I told you this" was met by deaf ears. Apparently it's my fault that she's had to go to bed freezing cold because she fked up the temporary hot water situation.

I could quite easily go into the loft and reset the boiler, but I can't be bothered. I'm working from home tomorrow so I don't need to get out of bed until 8:30, she can complain to herself how cold the house is at 6am.

[Johnspex]

Doofus said:

Alex@POD said:

His missus read the post, then commented that using "her" instead of "she" and "hence why" instead of "hence" was grammatically incorrect. Weirdly it reads better if you skim read rather than concentrate on it!

Thank you

Yes, thank you Alex, I understand it properly now and I wrote it in the first place.
I do actually speak far more coherently than I write.

[Johnspex]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Frank7 said:

thainy77 said:

Frank7 said:

Zoobeef said:

Just click your fingers. Saves any embarrassing mistakes.

And get a deserved blank from any self respecting waiter or
waitress, if I was a waiter and a diner snapped his fingers at
me, he’d starve to death, fire me if you wish, I’m not a dog.

I see your skills of inference haven't improved...

I thought that I was inferring that snapping your fingers at wait staff is the action of an out and out cretin, can I assume that you think that there’s nothing wrong in doing it?

FFS Frank, stop being thick.

Frank! It's 'if I were' not if I was'. As in ' if I were a carpenter and you were a lady'

[Doofus]

Johnspex said:

Yes, thank you Alex, I understand it properly now and I wrote it in the first place.
I do actually speak far more coherently than I write.

[HTP99]

Get a text from the wife yesterday:

"I think you using my cable for your tablet is making it not work so well it feels odd when I put it in after removing from yours and it's telling me to reconnect the charger when I try to charge my phone xx"

"it's crooked and cracked, where will I get another one ASAP xx" with a photo of the broken cable.

Now a few times recently I've charged my tablet using her cable as I know when she pops home on her 2-3 hour break in the middle of the day she will unplug the tablet and plug her phone in and when she goes back to work she won't re-plug my tablet in (annoying at first but I use it to my advantage now), I do this on purpose so my tablet won't be plugged in all day, such as it would if I plugged it in by my bed; the few hours plugged in via her cable is sufficient to fully charge it.

It's not the fact that she plugs in and un-plugs her phone 2-3 times daily and has done so, over the course of a year, which has caused her cable to break, oh no, it is the circa 10 times that I've used it to charge my tablet that has caused it to break!

[shtu]

wildoliver said:

And I will point out this is absolutely not a financial thing,

Going back to the foil trays - it's an ownership thing.

Mrs_WildOliver's mum gives her something in a foil tray. In Mrs_WildOliver's mind, it is not "a tray", or a "2p Chinese takeaway tray", it's "mum's tray", which of course must be preserved and returned at all costs, because "it's mum's". And more precious than gold as a result.

Hence, wash it out and return.


In other news, I absolutely don't have a house cluttered with useless tat that cannot be binned because "so-and-so gave it to me". Yes, they gave it to you because they wanted rid, but couldn't bear to actually throw it away themselves...

[vaud]

shtu said:

In other news, I absolutely don't have a house cluttered with useless tat that cannot be binned because "so-and-so gave it to me". Yes, they gave it to you because they wanted rid, but couldn't bear to actually throw it away themselves...

I just quietly move things to the back of the cupboard and after six months dispose of it. We don't need a 100 empty jam jars. I'm fine with keeping 10 as that's about how much jam we make in a year.

[nonsequitur]

Frank7 said:

Zoobeef said:

Just click your fingers. Saves any embarrassing mistakes.

And get a deserved blank from any self respecting waiter or
waitress, if I was a waiter and a diner snapped his fingers at
me, he’d starve to death, fire me if you wish, I’m not a dog.

I think he was being ironic Frank.

[nonsequitur]

Doofus said:

Does it only apply to American 'wait staff', Frank, or also to people who don't pretend to be transatlantic?

Dining in the USA a while ago we were served by a 'waitron' (female), and a 'waitron' (male).

[Frank7]

nonsequitur said:

Frank7 said:

Zoobeef said:

Just click your fingers. Saves any embarrassing mistakes.

And get a deserved blank from any self respecting waiter or
waitress, if I was a waiter and a diner snapped his fingers at
me, he’d starve to death, fire me if you wish, I’m not a dog.

I think he was being ironic Frank.

That’s gradually filtering through nonseq, unfortunately I read posts without thinking between the lines, I keep reminding myself to look from all angles, but just as soon forget.
———————————————————————————————————————————
Johnspex said:
Frank! It's 'if I were' not if I was'. As in ' if I were a carpenter and you were a lady'
——————————————————————————————————————————
Thanks John, and I seemed to be gradually learning, but there you go.

[kowalski655]

Johnspex said:

Frank! It's 'if I were' not if I was'. As in ' if I were a carpenter and you were a lady'

Unless you're Midge Ure...

..If I was a soldier
Captive arms I'd lay before her
If I was a sailor
Seven oceans I'd sail to her

[Doofus]

kowalski655 said:

Unless you're Midge Ure...

Yes, but almost exactly very nearly every single person on the planet isn't.

[hairy vx220]

Lots of years ago we bought our first house together. It was a new build and we were no 1 on the street. In due course our brand new rubbish bin was delivered and I happened to have a can of hiviz aerosol paint spray so I sprayed a "I" on the bin so that we knew it was ours.
A few months later, my missus admitted that she thought the bin men had marked our bin for some unknown misdemeanour so she would hide behind the curtains whenever the binmen came!!

[Robbo 27]

I am watchng the News, she is faffing about

TV: Over the past 50 years the average tempeature in Antarctica has increased by 3 degrees

Her: walking past, singing, "When will I see you again, when will we share precious moments"

[srebbe64]

Robbo 27 said:

I am watchng the News, she is faffing about

TV: Over the past 50 years the average tempeature in Antarctica has increased by 3 degrees

Her: walking past, singing, "When will I see you again, when will we share precious moments"

That’s just called ‘being married’ I think???

[nonsequitur]

Robbo 27 said:

I am watchng the News, she is faffing about

TV: Over the past 50 years the average tempeature in Antarctica has increased by 3 degrees

Her: walking past, singing, "When will I see you again, when will we share precious moments"

That's funny.:

[Hasbeen]

Then there was the time, one Monday morning my lady called me from about 3 kilometers down the road to tell me her Toyota Cressida wasn't running "right".

I dutifully jumped into the ute & went to have a look. Yes it had fuel, & yes it started OK, however it didn't take long to find the problem when I opened the bonnet. The area between the cam covers was tightly packed with grass, some rag & other stuff.

Over the weekend the local mice in our rural property had found a lovely warm place to build a nest. Not only warm & snug between the cam covers, but there was a food source as well. They had eaten a chunk out of three spark plug leads which ran through there.

No wonder the thing wasn't running too well, but my son who was in the car never let her forget it took her 3 kilometers to notice she was driving a 3 cylinder Cressida.

[nonsequitur]

Hasbeen said:

Then there was the time, one Monday morning my lady called me from about 3 kilometers down the road to tell me her Toyota Cressida wasn't running "right".

I dutifully jumped into the ute & went to have a look. Yes it had fuel, & yes it started OK, however it didn't take long to find the problem when I opened the bonnet. The area between the cam covers was tightly packed with grass, some rag & other stuff.

Over the weekend the local mice in our rural property had found a lovely warm place to build a nest. Not only warm & snug between the cam covers, but there was a food source as well. They had eaten a chunk out of three spark plug leads which ran through there.

No wonder the thing wasn't running too well, but my son who was in the car never let her forget it took her 3 kilometers to notice she was driving a 3 cylinder Cressida.

I'm willing to put 50 pence on: 'quite a few' people would not know that.

[Hasbeen]

Yes the old Cressida was a lovely smooth running straight6, but not so when on only 3 cylinders.

[Shakermaker]

and it only took her a mile and a half to notice, whereby she duly pulled over, and called for help. Doesn't sound that "classic" from me in the style of the rest of this thread