Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
gazza285 said:
Stratovarious said:
I used to have a friend I was always able to send up. I'd say something like, "I had a great idea while I was on my way here in the car."
He'd say, "What's that?" and I'd reply, "It's a sort of box on wheels, you sit in it and it takes you places ... but that's not important right now."
Worked every time.
Are you Frank Drebin?He'd say, "What's that?" and I'd reply, "It's a sort of box on wheels, you sit in it and it takes you places ... but that's not important right now."
Worked every time.
Bullett said:
It's a bit like when you tell someone you are going on holiday. "anywhere nice" they ask?
"no, I thought I'd go somewhere s
t to mix it up"
........
My wife will often ask a waiter if the dish she wants is any good. As if the waiver will say "Oh actually madam, the chef likes to bum the chicken and then finish off in the sauce, so not really recommended"!"no, I thought I'd go somewhere s
t to mix it up"........
And on the subject of TV, she objects to me flicking over to see what else is on during the adverts. The adverts FFS!
It's amazing how she isn't under the patio!( At least, not yet!)
Does anyone elses partner, when a suggestion is made, always look for the absolute worst possible, edge case disaster scenario ?
I bought a pump and hose to move water in and out of the fish tank instead of lumping buckets of water round, she was convinced there would be "hundreds of gallons of fishy water everywhere", the stuff came, I set it up, not a drop spilt.
I bought a pump and hose to move water in and out of the fish tank instead of lumping buckets of water round, she was convinced there would be "hundreds of gallons of fishy water everywhere", the stuff came, I set it up, not a drop spilt.
Bullett said:
If we ever manage to find something we both want to watch. I get it cued up for her, having been sat there on her phone for 20 minutes to get up and go and do something else. She then comes back sits down and I am about to start it when she decides she needs wine or tea. Another period away from the sofa. If I'm really unlucky a friend will call (normally one she's seeing the next day). More tea/wine is then required. Followed by "can we just watch the news headlines". I eventually get to the point where I say are we watching this and the answer is "it's a bit late now, I'm tired" followed by another hour on the phone.
FFS.
If we do watch something. 10s in "who's he?" "what's this about" "why did he shoot her?"
"I don't know love, seen as much as you have"
I haven’t seen you in my house ? FFS.
If we do watch something. 10s in "who's he?" "what's this about" "why did he shoot her?"
"I don't know love, seen as much as you have"
Monkeylegend said:
My other half records most of what she wants to watch and has this really annoying habit of putting something recorded on to watch, then spending half the programme fast forwarding the bits she thinks are boring or doesn't want to see. No thought given to the fact that I might be wanting to watch the bits she misses out.
She can watch a 2 hour horror film in about 60 minutes normally, gets to the end and then says "the story line wasn't very good"
I know that because we missed half the effing action and dialogue. When I say missed, we see it at 8 or 16 times normal speed and it makes me feel nauseous. It is her form of microwave TV.
It is so bloody annoying because she just speeds it up at will, at any time during the programme.
She is sometimes aware that she has monopolised the TV during the evening so out of kindness says to me "Is there anything you want to watch"
"fk off" darling.
That is said in my head, because I am not that stupid.
Basic mistake that , letting the mrs have access to the remote tut tut She can watch a 2 hour horror film in about 60 minutes normally, gets to the end and then says "the story line wasn't very good"
I know that because we missed half the effing action and dialogue. When I say missed, we see it at 8 or 16 times normal speed and it makes me feel nauseous. It is her form of microwave TV.
It is so bloody annoying because she just speeds it up at will, at any time during the programme.
She is sometimes aware that she has monopolised the TV during the evening so out of kindness says to me "Is there anything you want to watch"
"f
k off" darling.That is said in my head, because I am not that stupid.
bimsb6 said:
Monkeylegend said:
My other half records most of what she wants to watch and has this really annoying habit of putting something recorded on to watch, then spending half the programme fast forwarding the bits she thinks are boring or doesn't want to see. No thought given to the fact that I might be wanting to watch the bits she misses out.
She can watch a 2 hour horror film in about 60 minutes normally, gets to the end and then says "the story line wasn't very good"
I know that because we missed half the effing action and dialogue. When I say missed, we see it at 8 or 16 times normal speed and it makes me feel nauseous. It is her form of microwave TV.
It is so bloody annoying because she just speeds it up at will, at any time during the programme.
She is sometimes aware that she has monopolised the TV during the evening so out of kindness says to me "Is there anything you want to watch"
"fk off" darling.
That is said in my head, because I am not that stupid.
Basic mistake that , letting the mrs have access to the remote tut tut She can watch a 2 hour horror film in about 60 minutes normally, gets to the end and then says "the story line wasn't very good"
I know that because we missed half the effing action and dialogue. When I say missed, we see it at 8 or 16 times normal speed and it makes me feel nauseous. It is her form of microwave TV.
It is so bloody annoying because she just speeds it up at will, at any time during the programme.
She is sometimes aware that she has monopolised the TV during the evening so out of kindness says to me "Is there anything you want to watch"
"f
k off" darling.That is said in my head, because I am not that stupid.
Fastchas said:
My Ex wasn't very good at numbers.
When we divorced we agreed that we would split the equity in the house 50/50 but then she would pay me £2,500 from her half against a loan I gave her mum for a car. This was drawn up and the sums paid by the solicitor into each others account.
£90k equity, I got £47.5k, she got £42.5k
When the divorce was settled she was furious that I had £5k more than her! "How come you haven't got £2,500 more than me?", she demanded.
I had to show her using a bag of skittles...
I was just about to reply that i couldnt work this out either, then it clicked When we divorced we agreed that we would split the equity in the house 50/50 but then she would pay me £2,500 from her half against a loan I gave her mum for a car. This was drawn up and the sums paid by the solicitor into each others account.
£90k equity, I got £47.5k, she got £42.5k
When the divorce was settled she was furious that I had £5k more than her! "How come you haven't got £2,500 more than me?", she demanded.
I had to show her using a bag of skittles...
Frank7 said:
bimsb6 said:
The mil moved in with us while the fil was in hospital , took over the fking settee where i sit , sunday supplements all over the place , i was watching american pickers ( because i like it ) she pipes up “ is anyone watching this rubbish?” And wants it switched over to Ben Fogal , fking Ben Fogal visiting a hotel in scotland ffs , didn’t take long to get shot of her back to her own house .a
I like your style bimsb6, more power to your elbow, but in the interest of full disclosure, I think that your MIL was being kind to you in only using the word rubbish as a description of “American Pickers.”king settee where i sit , sunday supplements all over the place , i was watching american pickers ( because i like it ) she pipes up “ is anyone watching this rubbish?” And wants it switched over to Ben Fogal , fking Ben Fogal visiting a hotel in scotland ffs , didn’t take long to get shot of her back to her own house .aStan the Bat said:
DocJock said:
One of the reasons I'm still married is having two sets of subscriptions and a room/TV each.
Same here, can't see why it isn't compulsory.Mind you, we tend to be pleasant to each other, and we do (or don't do) a lot of stuff by agreement, rather than clashing in passive-aggressive eye-rolling and sulking.
Doofus said:
Stan the Bat said:
DocJock said:
One of the reasons I'm still married is having two sets of subscriptions and a room/TV each.
Same here, can't see why it isn't compulsory.Mind you, we tend to be pleasant to each other, and we do (or don't do) a lot of stuff by agreement, rather than clashing in passive-aggressive eye-rolling and sulking.
Sky and BT require second subscriptions for simultaneous viewing.
We never clash, "passive-aggressive eye-rolling and sulking" or otherwise either but it's convenient when, for example, I want to watch the rugby or GP and she wants to watch some tennis.
It aslo does not mean that we spent all evening in separate rooms, just when we want to watch different things.
DocJock said:
Sky and BT require second subscriptions for simultaneous viewing..
Antony Moxey said:
DocJock said:
Sky and BT require second subscriptions for simultaneous viewing..
alorotom said:
Antony Moxey said:
DocJock said:
Sky and BT require second subscriptions for simultaneous viewing..
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff