Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[thepawbroon]

bobtail4x4 said:

mate of mine had a call from his wife this week, her car "blip" key wont work,
he drives into the town with the spare key to find her standing next to a similar Audi while her car had flashing lights 5 cars away.
he says it wasnt even the same colour.

This reminds me of my Great Auntie Margaret, god rest her soul. We all lived in a small village in the Inner Hebrides, the kind of place where you leave the keys in your car all the time.

Anyway, Margaret's habitual Monday was a trip to the shops in the car, hairdresser for a blue rinse, pub for egg & chips and a few sherries, drive home and have an afternoon nap.

One Monday she did that, then went to get the shopping in for the car, only to find the boot empty. She call the constable who popped down immediately (couple of hours later) and rapidly solved the "crime":

"Mrs Brown, that's not your car."

[LaserTam]

Jules Sunley said:

Skyedriver said:

PositronicRay said:

Is this along the lines of,?

1) Tell them what you're going to tell them
2) Tell them
3) Tell them what you've told them

Or some such thing.

Are you one of the Spice Girls?

Have a cig a cig ar for that

Stop right now

[Hasbeen]

thepawbroon said:

This reminds me of my Great Auntie Margaret, god rest her soul. We all lived in a small village in the Inner Hebrides, the kind of place where you leave the keys in your car all the time.

Anyway, Margaret's habitual Monday was a trip to the shops in the car, hairdresser for a blue rinse, pub for egg & chips and a few sherries, drive home and have an afternoon nap.

One Monday she did that, then went to get the shopping in for the car, only to find the boot empty. She call the constable who popped down immediately (couple of hours later) and rapidly solved the "crime":

"Mrs Brown, that's not your car."

It can happen to anyone. Many years ago, when you could still find parking in the street, probably early 70s I parked my white company Holden in front of a store I wanted to visit. Shopping done I came out, unlocked my white Holden, started the engine, then just as I was about to drive off, I noticed a jacket & a bag that were not mine on the passengers seat.

I shut the car down, got out, walked 2 cars forward, unlocked my car, started it all with the same key I had used in the first car & drove off wondering how many other Holdens my key would work with.

[Cotty]

Hasbeen said:

It can happen to anyone. Many years ago, when you could still find parking in the street, probably early 70s I parked my white company Holden in front of a store I wanted to visit. Shopping done I came out, unlocked my white Holden, started the engine, then just as I was about to drive off, I noticed a jacket & a bag that were not mine on the passengers seat.

I shut the car down, got out, walked 2 cars forward, unlocked my car, started it all with the same key I had used in the first car & drove off wondering how many other Holdens my key would work with.

Reminds me when I was staying in cheap hotel in Blackpool and coming back from a night out walked to my room and opened the door with the key (metal key not a modern key card). I clocked that there were ladies clothes laid out on one of the beds and make up spread over the table so not my room. I had got out of the lift on the wrong floor and didn't notice as they were all identical. I wonder how many other doors in that hotel that key would open.

[Pit Pony]

Bannock said:

Is it Birmingham or Blackpool that's on the coast?

Is Aston Reservoir, cleaner than the Irish Sea ?

[832ark]

fesuvious said:

That's enough Spice Girls talk

Don’t be such a baby

[blearyeyedboy]

Hasbeen said:

It can happen to anyone. Many years ago, when you could still find parking in the street, probably early 70s I parked my white company Holden in front of a store I wanted to visit. Shopping done I came out, unlocked my white Holden, started the engine, then just as I was about to drive off, I noticed a jacket & a bag that were not mine on the passengers seat.

I shut the car down, got out, walked 2 cars forward, unlocked my car, started it all with the same key I had used in the first car & drove off wondering how many other Holdens my key would work with.

A family member did that with an 80s Opel Ascona. I imagine it's quite easily done.

[Celtic Dragon]

Very easily done, my parents had a D plate Montego, and I had a key for it for some reason. One day when I was at Bisley Camp, I was talking to my coach who owned an E or F plate Montego MG, and the key to my parents car unlocked and started his.

[mattyn1]

Not really similar but has reminded me of an incident a few years ago. Car hunting for a new motor for the Mrs who quite liked the Nissan Qashqai.

Now, the Mrs is quite short, 5’0, and does have snags with some cars not really fitting, based on seat height, steering wheel and what she can see across the bonnet from her driving position. So we trial for a lot!!

So, we trundle off to the Nissan dealers in mid Cornwall. We are wandering round the outside cars, noting they are all locked, but she is looking quite avidly. After a bit, I can’t find her.

I am guessing she is inside, assuming she has been dragged in by a salesman. As I walk past some cars I just catch a glimpse of her in the drivers seat of a blue Qashqai.

Noting I can’t see a salesman I go round to the passenger side and get in. Looking about the car something does not seem right ….. a jacket hanging in the back. Folder on the back seat. A Tesco bag behind the drivers seat. In the door pocket a kiddies drinking bottle. Change in the central cubby hole.

“Lynn”, I say, “I don’t think this is for sale”

“What are you on about?” She retorts, “whose is it if it isn’t for……..”

The customer parking sign right in front of us sort of gave it away as the Penny dropped.

We exited and left fairly rapidly.

On the way home, I can’t help laughing as Lynn tells me the owner must be really tall. As well as adjusting the fully back and down seat for her tiny frame, she had adjusted door mirrors, steering wheel, rear view mirror. Also switched to Pirate FM (yes the key was in the ignition). She tells me she moved every dial, knob and switch! To give an indication of how she has the seat when driving, I need to add normally when she gets out of the car I need to adjust the seat for me to be able to get in.

Oh I wish I was a fly on the windscreen when the owner went back to the car!

[Glosphil]

Hasbeen said:

thepawbroon said:

This reminds me of my Great Auntie Margaret, god rest her soul. We all lived in a small village in the Inner Hebrides, the kind of place where you leave the keys in your car all the time.

Anyway, Margaret's habitual Monday was a trip to the shops in the car, hairdresser for a blue rinse, pub for egg & chips and a few sherries, drive home and have an afternoon nap.

One Monday she did that, then went to get the shopping in for the car, only to find the boot empty. She call the constable who popped down immediately (couple of hours later) and rapidly solved the "crime":

"Mrs Brown, that's not your car."

It can happen to anyone. Many years ago, when you could still find parking in the street, probably early 70s I parked my white company Holden in front of a store I wanted to visit. Shopping done I came out, unlocked my white Holden, started the engine, then just as I was about to drive off, I noticed a jacket & a bag that were not mine on the passengers seat.

I shut the car down, got out, walked 2 cars forward, unlocked my car, started it all with the same key I had used in the first car & drove off wonde.

In the 1970s I worked for a company had used Cortinas for salesmen, tech support staff & servicemen. About 20 in total.

The key for mine would open 6 others.

[Error_404_Username_not_found]

The keys for my MG Midget (door, boot and ignition) fit my mates much older GT6.
Don't need the tank cap key - his doesn't lock.

[moorx]

Glosphil said:

In the 1970s I worked for a company had used Cortinas for salesmen, tech support staff & servicemen. About 20 in total.

The key for mine would open 6 others.

Yep - my dad gave me a spare key in case I ever needed to open the boot to his Mk1 Lotus Cortina when we were at car shows - a British Leyland key. I still have it!

[singlecoil]

My wife has some Eastern European friends. They've been living in England for years, She tells me they are going to London tomorrow to renew their daughter's passport because they need it to go on holiday later this summer.

So I say "Where are they going?"

Her "London"

Me "Where are they going?"

Their embassy or consulate I expect"

Me "Where are they going?"

Her "Lanzarote"

This is a typical conversation for us.

[Caddyshack]

singlecoil said:

My wife has some Eastern European friends. They've been living in England for years, She tells me they are going to London tomorrow to renew their daughter's passport because they need it to go on holiday later this summer.

So I say "Where are they going?"

Her "London"

Me "Where are they going?"

Their embassy or consulate I expect"

Me "Where are they going?"

Her "Lanzarote"

This is a typical conversation for us.

That sounds a bit more of a two sided issue, when someone asks a question I was always taught that it is a request for more information, I think your questions needed to ask for more info…."what is their holiday destination?" Would have gleaned the answer.

[singlecoil]

Caddyshack said:

singlecoil said:

My wife has some Eastern European friends. They've been living in England for years, She tells me they are going to London tomorrow to renew their daughter's passport because they need it to go on holiday later this summer.

So I say "Where are they going?"

Her "London"

Me "Where are they going?"

Their embassy or consulate I expect"

Me "Where are they going?"

Her "Lanzarote"

This is a typical conversation for us.

That sounds a bit more of a two sided issue, when someone asks a question I was always taught that it is a request for more information, I think your questions needed to ask for more info…."what is their holiday destination?" Would have gleaned the answer.

That wasn't the point. She had already said they were going to London, and the embassy was pretty obvious. I'm trying to help her explain things more clearly. We've been working on this for 33 years.

[Monkeylegend]

singlecoil said:

Caddyshack said:

singlecoil said:

My wife has some Eastern European friends. They've been living in England for years, She tells me they are going to London tomorrow to renew their daughter's passport because they need it to go on holiday later this summer.

So I say "Where are they going?"

Her "London"

Me "Where are they going?"

Their embassy or consulate I expect"

Me "Where are they going?"

Her "Lanzarote"

This is a typical conversation for us.

That sounds a bit more of a two sided issue, when someone asks a question I was always taught that it is a request for more information, I think your questions needed to ask for more info…."what is their holiday destination?" Would have gleaned the answer.

That wasn't the point. She had already said they were going to London, and the embassy was pretty obvious. I'm trying to help her explain things more clearly. We've been working on this for 33 years.

You clearly need to try something different then, 33 years and it's still not working

[singlecoil]

Monkeylegend said:

You clearly need to try something different then, 33 years and it's still not working

I'm ok with that.

[Doofus]

singlecoil said:

Monkeylegend said:

You clearly need to try something different then, 33 years and it's still not working

I'm ok with that.

Maybe try asking the question to which you want an answer?

[singlecoil]

Doofus said:

singlecoil said:

Monkeylegend said:

You clearly need to try something different then, 33 years and it's still not working

I'm ok with that.

Maybe try asking the question to which you want an answer?

I did. That's the point. But if you can't see that then please don't concern yourself about it, it's a matter of little importance even to me, let alone you.

[havoc]

singlecoil said:

Doofus said:

singlecoil said:

Monkeylegend said:

You clearly need to try something different then, 33 years and it's still not working

I'm ok with that.

Maybe try asking the question to which you want an answer?

I did. That's the point. But if you can't see that then please don't concern yourself about it, it's a matter of little importance even to me, let alone you.

May be try being more precise with the question you are asking then. Spouses aren't mind-readers (as I remind my wife regularly)...