Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[driverrob]

singlecoil said:

SpeckledJim said:

Cotty said:

SpeckledJim said:

...."so shall we do that then?"

...

...

Do you mean the thing you've been thinking about whilst I've been in another room?

I wonder if she had an imaginary conversation with you in her head, proper back and forth discussion, so she thinks you know what she is talking about.

Exactly that. Conversations fall into and escape from her labyrinthine internal monologue without notice or reason.

This is related to the phenomenon that gets me in trouble for my transgressions that happen in her dreams.

I can validate that emotion.

It's that first little word. When a conversation starts "so" I know I'm in for at least some confusion.

[SpeckledJim]

driverrob said:

singlecoil said:

SpeckledJim said:

Cotty said:

SpeckledJim said:

...."so shall we do that then?"

...

...

Do you mean the thing you've been thinking about whilst I've been in another room?

I wonder if she had an imaginary conversation with you in her head, proper back and forth discussion, so she thinks you know what she is talking about.

Exactly that. Conversations fall into and escape from her labyrinthine internal monologue without notice or reason.

This is related to the phenomenon that gets me in trouble for my transgressions that happen in her dreams.

I can validate that emotion.

It's that first little word. When a conversation starts "so" I know I'm in for at least some confusion.

Yes! That’s the clue that what’s coming is the continuation of something.

You’ve no idea what that something is, and if you don’t know it’s because you don’t love her.

I exaggerate. A bit.

[Bobberoo]

PositronicRay said:

Caddyshack said:

OMITN said:

matchmaker said:

A Personal Identification Number Number?

My OH has just received the letter through after setting a camera off when driving along the M62 recently.

She was going slow enough to have been offered a “National Motorway Awareness Course Course”.

Hopefully, after she’s done the course about the course she can then do the course.

One of my friends is becoming quite wealthy writing courses for courses for courses. He designs a course to teach a trainer how to deliver a course for students to then take a course.

Is this along the lines of,?

1) Tell them what you're going to tell them
2) Tell them
3) Tell them what you've told them

Or some such thing.

Train the trainer, standard corporate training exercise, very useful and a good practice.

[GasEngineer]

Arnold Cunningham said:

That'd be a nice place to be wouldn't it.

Currently my wife moans about anything I do. So we've have smart meters booked in to be installed today, for a few weeks. She knew at the time that the chap would arrive between 8am and 6pm. So the guy phones me earlier and says I'll be with you at 8:15. Apparently this is not good enough and is my fault.

FFS.

Don't get this one. How is it your fault if the guy turns up as arranged?

[glenrobbo]

GasEngineer said:

Don't get this one. How is it your fault if the guy turns up as arranged?

Because it just is.

[SpeckledJim]

Our BTL tenant paid their rent 24 hours late last month.

This was my fault, since I was responsible for the recruitment of the person who was responsible for the recruitment of the tenant. (Of course I was. Mrs Jim is a Blame Path Ninja. Cannot be found on any Blame Path, anywhere),

This month they paid exactly on time. This earned a 'tut'. Apparently she wants 'consistency'.

She is mental.

[GasEngineer]

glenrobbo said:

GasEngineer said:

Don't get this one. How is it your fault if the guy turns up as arranged?

Because it just is.

I was expecting that !
Let me rephrase: what issue does she have with the guy turning up at the pre arranged time?

[Monkeylegend]

GasEngineer said:

glenrobbo said:

GasEngineer said:

Don't get this one. How is it your fault if the guy turns up as arranged?

Because it just is.

I was expecting that !
Let me rephrase: what issue does she have with the guy turning up at the pre arranged time?

Because it goes against every principled bone in their body to be on time for anything
:

[havoc]

SpeckledJim said:

She is mental.

TADTS!

[Arnold Cunningham]

Exactly. He turned up on time, and despite knowing he might, she hadn't got dressed or sorted the kids breakfast. And that Is my fault because I am the husband. So I made the kids breakfast. I didn't dress her though.

[Stan the Bat]

Resistance is futile chaps.

[Skyedriver]

Stan the Bat said:

Resistance is futile chaps.

Never a truer word.

[Fermit]

Am having a right battle at the mo trying to get Sarah to be descriptive when saying things. Example. At the allotments, 'see that (Chicken) waterer over there, is it a bit high?' We have 6 chicken runs, 2 waterers in each. Me, 'which one'. Her, 'that one' pointing vaguely, me 'WHICH ONE?!' her, that one by the playhouse (three of the runs have these) Me, 'WHICH fkING ONE!'. Her FFS, Enzo's one. Finally, we got there!

There are approaching 200,000 words in the English language, maybe just use a few more of them!

[glenrobbo]

A chicken waterer?


( That explains the aroma of damp chicken... )

[Pit Pony]

PositronicRay said:

Different people interpret things differently. Conversation at work, girl going to the sandwich shop.


'Anyone want anything?'

'Oh yes please an egg and cress sandwich'
Fishes around for some change and hands it over. 'will that be enough?'

The answer comes back

'I don't know you've got to eat it'

See how confusing stuff gets. Of course she may have just been an awkward smart arse, we'll never know.

Actually, that's a really clever retort.

I have a standard one in a take away. It gets less funny every time I use it.

I order enough for 3 people.

Takeaway owner: And Anything else?
Me: Don't you think that's enough for one person? I'm putting on weight as it is.

[interstellar]

SpeckledJim said:

Our BTL tenant paid their rent 24 hours late last month.

This was my fault, since I was responsible for the recruitment of the person who was responsible for the recruitment of the tenant. (Of course I was. Mrs Jim is a Blame Path Ninja. Cannot be found on any Blame Path, anywhere),

This month they paid exactly on time. This earned a 'tut'. Apparently she wants 'consistency'.

She is mental.

Good one Jim. I properly laughed out loud at that one!!

[Order66]

Mrs: That Tesla over there must have broken down, they've got their bonnet up and looking in it.

We own a Tesla, she knows what isn't under the bonnet, she just let her (lack of) brain connect to mouth again.....

[Bannock]

glenrobbo said:

GasEngineer said:

Don't get this one. How is it your fault if the guy turns up as arranged?

Because it just is.

My guess would be that in her mind the husband should have performed the impossible by ensuring that the engineer wasn't going to arrive before she was dressed and ready, despite it not being possible to micro-manage the engineer's time to that extent. I presume that somewhere in her mind is the idea that husband should and could have arranged a specific time later in the day to suit her schedule, but no amount of exlpaining that you can't get anything other than a vague range of times will ever penetrate. This refusal to be willing to understand the complex nature of reality and the fact that the universe does not revolve around her is useful to wife, however, as it means she will always have resonable grounds, in her mind, to be cross with husband, thereby keeping him on his toes and in a state of confusion and anxiety, meaning he is always paying attention to her, thus maintaining control over him. She knows deep down this is all imaginary and unreasonable, but it serves the puropse of maintaining control, so that's the main thing.

[Tyre Tread]

Bannock said:

glenrobbo said:

GasEngineer said:

Don't get this one. How is it your fault if the guy turns up as arranged?

Because it just is.

My guess would be that in her mind the husband should have performed the impossible by ensuring that the engineer wasn't going to arrive before she was dressed and ready, despite it not being possible to micro-manage the engineer's time to that extent. I presume that somewhere in her mind is the idea that husband should and could have arranged a specific time later in the day to suit her schedule, but no amount of exlpaining that you can't get anything other than a vague range of times will ever penetrate. This refusal to be willing to understand the complex nature of reality and the fact that the universe does not revolve around her is useful to wife, however, as it means she will always have resonable grounds, in her mind, to be cross with husband, thereby keeping him on his toes and in a state of confusion and anxiety, meaning he is always paying attention to her, thus maintaining control over him. She knows deep down this is all imaginary and unreasonable, but it serves the puropse of maintaining control, so that's the main thing.

Or in man version "Oh FFS. That's inconvenient. Oh well, best crack on.

[Arnold Cunningham]

Not sure I even got as far as "Oh FFS".
It was just "OK, better get the kids fed then".