Broaching the subject of her weight gain

Broaching the subject of her weight gain

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Discussion

okgo

38,070 posts

199 months

Saturday 10th January 2015
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Why stop at one size too small?

Jasandjules

69,922 posts

230 months

Saturday 10th January 2015
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Just say "Everyone who is slim and fit step forwards". No, not you dear... I think that is a nice and subtle way to broach the subject.

Fleckers

2,861 posts

202 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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ask if her arse has its own postcode

benjj

6,787 posts

164 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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Get a girlfriend who meets your physical requirements and keep the Mrs at home as a baking and cooking machine. Best of both worlds.

Hoofy

76,378 posts

283 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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Fleckers said:
ask if her arse has its own postcode
biggrin

Or whenever she gives someone the postcode of your home, correct her with the postcode down the road. biggrin

anonymous-user

55 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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Suggest you go for a walk, when you do make sure you walk a little faster than normal. When you get back suggest another walk straight away.
She be like, what this walkin' all about, biiiiaaaatch?

Council Baby

19,741 posts

191 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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Brilliant thread.

Lace her dinner with laxatives every other day. Watch the weight drop off.

If she eats chocolate a lot then swap it out for exlax bars.

Just be sure to budget for extra st rag, four times the usual amount to cover how huge her arse now is and the increase in action from it.

CountZero23

1,288 posts

179 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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fk, allot. Should see the pounds fly off.

Beware, fat girls sweat like a dyslexic on countdown in the sack - found that one out the hard way...

Alternativly whack this on and pour yourself a whisky. See if she gets the subtle message.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV2pCG52vaE

smn159

12,680 posts

218 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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Next time that you're passing a children's playground suggest that you both have a go on the seesaw. Wave your legs around helplessly as her end sinks to the floor.

Hoofy

76,378 posts

283 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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CountZero23 said:
sweat like a dyslexic on countdown
Gotta remember that one for when I'm using "sweat like a..." in polite company.

MitchT

15,874 posts

210 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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Tie her to a tree, in the Alps, in winter and go back to collect her when her body has time to burn the excess in a bid to survive.

Sargeant Orange

2,717 posts

148 months

Tuesday 27th January 2015
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Buy her a size 6 dress then carefully write a 1 in front of the 6.

Laxative on her cornflakes.

Try her jeans on "for a laugh". They will fit (unless you're a fat git too) and she'll be mortified.

MissChief

7,112 posts

169 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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Quality responses guys, I'm cracking up here!! laugh

Silverbullet767

10,711 posts

207 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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When she sits next to you on the couch or gets into bed with you, jump 4 feet in the air when she lands. Flail your arms about for added effect.

Record the T-Rex walking noise from jurassic park on your phone and play it every time she walks around the house. When she talks use the t-rex shouty noise.

wolfracesonic

7,010 posts

128 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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Buy her some edible underwear, then, when you're halfway through it say 'Sorry love, I'm full. Can you put the rest in my sandwiches for work?'. Could work, s'pose.

king arthur

6,570 posts

262 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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Let some air out of the tyres on the passenger side of your car and then when she's been in it as a passenger, point them out and say "Hmmm I wonder what's caused that..."

GroundEffect

13,838 posts

157 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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wolfracesonic said:
Buy her some edible underwear, then, when you're halfway through it say 'Sorry love, I'm full. Can you put the rest in my sandwiches for work?'. Could work, s'pose.
Okay, I did laugh.


KrazyIvan

4,341 posts

176 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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So op, how's single life treating yah?

AngryPartsBloke

1,436 posts

152 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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BrabusMog said:
OP, how much weight gain are we talking? And has it affected her personality?

My ex went up 2 dress sizes and became a miserable bh always moaning about how fat she had got but did nothing to address it and got incredibly angry every time I suggested she came for a run with me or hit the gym. There isn't usually a way to come out of this situation on top, it actually finished our relationship.
My Ex was like this.

She'd moan on and on about how she didn't like her body and wanted to lose weight and get fitter. The moment i suggest that she do something about it and try and help her out she got the hump and it caused a massive fight.

She was proper mental though.

Hoofy

76,378 posts

283 months

Wednesday 28th January 2015
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AngryPartsBloke said:
My Ex was like this.

She'd moan on and on about how she didn't like her body and wanted to lose weight and get fitter. The moment i suggest that she do something about it and try and help her out she got the hump and it caused a massive fight.

She was proper mental though.
Fat and mental. Just as well she was rich and happy to fund your supercar hobby. What do you mean, she didn't?