Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Caruso]

Q. What do you call a Dinosaur in the changing room at TopShop?
A. Triseveraltops

[IanUAE]

[silverfoxcc]

The Generation who claimed the older generation ruined their future by voting Brexit are the generation currently chasing imaginary Pokemon

[Laurel Green]

silverfoxcc said:

The Generation who claimed the older generation ruined their future by voting Brexit are the generation currently chasing imaginary Pokemon

[lionelf]

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are in their bedroom.

The 7 year old looks at his brother and says, "I think it's time we start swearing."

The brother nods in agreement.


"When we go downstairs, I'll be the first to swear and then you swear" says the 7 year old.

The two brothers go downstairs and the mother asks what they want for breakfast.

"I'll have a bowl of cocoa puffs, bh!"

The mother smacks the kid so hard that he flies out of his chair.

The mother asks the 4 year old what he wants. Stunned, the 4 year old says, "I don't know, but it won't be fking cocoa puffs!"

[omgus]

lionelf said:

"I don't know, but it won't be fking cocoa puffs!"

[Laurel Green]

[Laurel Green]

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"

The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would"

Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."

Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."

[havoc]

Laurel Green said:

"No, she's left handed."

Thank god Vipers didn't post that one!

[Vipers]

havoc said:

Laurel Green said:

"No, she's left handed."

Thank god Vipers didn't post that one!

Well thank you Havoc, now you have stirred my little grey cells....... No worries dear readers, not tonight

[Laurel Green]

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

[JustinF]

I was so hot earlier that I stripped naked and opened all the windows.
Now Arriva have banned me from all their buses.

[Vitorio]

lionelf said:

"I don't know, but it won't be fking cocoa puffs!"

heard it before, but cracks me up every time

[Tony 1234]

Laurel Green said:

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

That is so true

[callmedave]

[ThunderSpook]

Honestly, you'd think in amongst all that medicine they teach doctors, a grasp of the English language would be a useful thing to teach.

[mybrainhurts]

ThunderSpook said:

Honestly, you'd think in amongst all that medicine they teach doctors, a grasp of the English language would be a useful thing to teach.

I think I know this one...

The doctor is Greek..

Yes..??

[glenrobbo]

havoc said:

Laurel Green said:

"No, she's left handed."

Thank god Vipers didn't post that one!

So what happened next????

[Evangelion]

glenrobbo said:

havoc said:

Laurel Green said:

"No, she's left handed."

Thank god Vipers didn't post that one!

So what happened next????

Either the fight started ... or he never heard the shot.

[Don1]

Evangelion said:

glenrobbo said:

havoc said:

Laurel Green said:

"No, she's left handed."

Thank god Vipers didn't post that one!

So what happened next????

Either the fight started ... or he never heard the shot.

Didn't the teacher start crying?