Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
davhill said:
Jesus said:
The Ooo-Ahh bird.
Lays square eggs.
It's a cousin of the drum-de-drum-drum bird, which has very short legs and always lands on corrugated iron roofs.Lays square eggs.
Also related to the (very similar) oohmegoolie bird.
Vaud said:
“I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.”
Similar vintage . . .My mate took a second job at the local bakery. He kneaded the dough.
He'd already been offered a job as an origami trainer but it folded before he could start.
V6Pushfit said:
Ok I see your warming up so let's have the corker
No need to be an arse.Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
I really want to buy one of those supermarket checkout dividers, but the lady behind the till keeps putting it back.
Today's top fact: 50% of Canada is A
3.14% of sailors are pi-rates.
Vaud said:
an arse
A guy is getting changed in the locker room and when he sees another bloke bending down to put his grundies he can't help but notice his bumhole is sewn up.Shocked by this he asks the chap what happened.
"I was walking on the beach yesterday and found a bottle. When I picked it up, a genie popped out and offered me one wish. I said, 'no st!'"
Evangelion said:
"I've just seen my wife off for her trekking holiday. She went, clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop ..."
"Onomatopoeia"?
"No, on a horse."
What goes "clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop, BANG BANG, clipperty-clop, clipperty-clop, clipperty-clop""Onomatopoeia"?
"No, on a horse."
An Amish drive-by shooting.
Definition of a Wok?
It's what you throw a wabbits if you haven't got a wifle.
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