Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
Johnspex said:
Vipers said:
Then the black horse (who knows sod all about cars), walks into the pub and says to the barman "Whisky please"
Barman says "Wow, we have a whisky named after you"
The black horse says "Why would you call a whisky George"
That makes no sense as the whisky is called White Horse. The joke is a white horse walks into a pub.Barman says "Wow, we have a whisky named after you"
The black horse says "Why would you call a whisky George"
The white horse was called Gerald IIRC.
There is a whiskey named after an eccentric bloke who used to take a condom on a lead with him wherever he roamed.
I was attacked by a bloke throwing milk and cheese at me today, I thought 'How dairy !'
Escapologists struggle for a living.
Did you hear about the mad Mexican train murderer? He had locomotives.
I just fell through the roof of a French bakery, I'm in a world of pain.
I've just deleted all the German names off of my phone, now it's Hans free.
I've recently become a Professor of Palindromes, so now you can call me Dr. Awkward.
What antiperspirant do indecisive people use? Not Sure.
I told my wife I could make a car out of spaghetti. She told me I was an idiot. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
Escapologists struggle for a living.
Did you hear about the mad Mexican train murderer? He had locomotives.
I just fell through the roof of a French bakery, I'm in a world of pain.
I've just deleted all the German names off of my phone, now it's Hans free.
I've recently become a Professor of Palindromes, so now you can call me Dr. Awkward.
What antiperspirant do indecisive people use? Not Sure.
I told my wife I could make a car out of spaghetti. She told me I was an idiot. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
I couldn't help but overhear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night.
One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired."
His buddy says: “Mate I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She’s after me 3 and 4 times a day. She wants sex before breakfast, sex before I go to work, when I come home she’s tearing my shirt off as I come through the door.
She’s got her hands down my pants after dinner. She even joins me in the shower almost every night. I just don't know what to do."
A fellow in his 50’s sitting a couple of stools down, also overheard the conversation.
He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years said,
"Marry her. That'll put a stop to all that s
t!"
One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired."
His buddy says: “Mate I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She’s after me 3 and 4 times a day. She wants sex before breakfast, sex before I go to work, when I come home she’s tearing my shirt off as I come through the door.
She’s got her hands down my pants after dinner. She even joins me in the shower almost every night. I just don't know what to do."
A fellow in his 50’s sitting a couple of stools down, also overheard the conversation.
He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years said,
"Marry her. That'll put a stop to all that s
t!"
Vipers said:
I'm currently viewing a woman's profile on a dating site:
Blonde 33 From London Great Personality 5ft 3 green eyes.
Don't get me wrong, I like short girls, but 3 green eyes?
No wonder she can't find a fkin bloke.
She can, but she osmogriphies them all, so she always needs more to power her space ship.Blonde 33 From London Great Personality 5ft 3 green eyes.
Don't get me wrong, I like short girls, but 3 green eyes?
No wonder she can't find a f
kin bloke.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff