Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Fluffsri]

MartG said:

Mother Superior "11 o'clock girls - candles out"

"pop"

At last! This made me chuckle.

[familyguy1]

What are the benefits of moving to Switzerland ?
Well the flag is a big plus.

[hacksaw]

Fluffsri said:

MartG said:

Mother Superior "11 o'clock girls - candles out"

"pop"

At last! This made me chuckle.

And me.

[Evangelion]

Two nuns went to the cinema to see The Sound Of Music, and enjoyed it so much they wanted to see it again. This was in the days when you could, so they just sat through it a second time, which then made them late getting back to the convent. As they sneaked in, trying to be very quiet and look very small, they bumped into the Mother Superior coming the other way.

One of them said, "Oh Reverend Mother, we're so sorry, we've been out after hours."

"That's all right girls," came the reply. "I'm just out after mine."

[Alex]

Halmyre said:

nuns, bicycles, cobbled street, come this way, etc...

Any friend of Batman is a friend of mine...

[silverfoxcc]

Two nuns in the shower

One turns to the other and says

'where's the soap?'

The other replies

'Yes it does, doesn't it

[schmunk]

Two nuns in the shower.

One turns to the other and says:

"Is there an echo in here?"

[kowalski655]

How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy

[vtecyo]

silverfoxcc said:

Two nuns in the shower

One turns to the other and says

'where's the soap?'

The other replies

'Yes it does, doesn't it

parrot for me

[Yex 450]

vtecyo said:

silverfoxcc said:

Two nuns in the shower

One turns to the other and says

'where's the soap?'

The other replies

'Yes it does, doesn't it

parrot for me

Where's = wears

[LeighW]

vtecyo said:

silverfoxcc said:

Two nuns in the shower

One turns to the other and says

'where's the soap?'

The other replies

'Yes it does, doesn't it

parrot for me

[Ledaig]

vtecyo said:

silverfoxcc said:

Two nuns in the shower

One turns to the other and says

'where's the soap?'

The other replies

'Yes it does, doesn't it

parrot for me

Do you pluck it first?

[vtecyo]

Yex 450 said:

vtecyo said:

silverfoxcc said:

Two nuns in the shower

One turns to the other and says

'where's the soap?'

The other replies

'Yes it does, doesn't it

parrot for me

Where's = wears

Still none the wiser.




ETA: or should that be nun the wiser? Zing.

[Fastchas]

hacksaw said:

Fluffsri said:

MartG said:

Mother Superior "11 o'clock girls - candles out"

"pop"

At last! This made me chuckle.

And me.

I read this and hear the sound of a shower mat being picked up out of the bath.

[Justayellowbadge]

Fastchas said:

I read this and hear the sound of a shower mat being picked up out of the bath.

When I were a lad, the punchline was always delivered via an index finger and cheek.

[Doofus]

Justayellowbadge said:

When I were a lad, the punchline was always delivered via an index finger and cheek.

That sounds more like a pokeline.

[schmunk]

Doofus said:

Justayellowbadge said:

When I were a lad, the punchline was always delivered via an index finger and cheek.

That sounds more like a pokeline.

Oi, less of your cheek.

[can't remember]

Ledaig said:

vtecyo said:

silverfoxcc said:

Two nuns in the shower

One turns to the other and says

'where's the soap?'

The other replies

'Yes it does, doesn't it

parrot for me

Do you pluck it first?

Couldn't let that go without recognition.

[Muntu]

There was a young man from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe.
He dreamt that Venus
Was strokin' his penis
And woke with a handful of goo

[Evangelion]

On the breasts of a lady from Yale
Was tattooed the price of her tail
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
The same was embroidered in braille.