Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
For reasons we won't go into here, Zeus decides to grant a statue of Aphrodite and Eros 10 minutes of life. The two of them rush off into the bushes and emerge a few minutes later, giggling and laughing.
"That was fun, wasn't it?" says Aphrodite.
"Yes", says Eros. "Now I'll hold the pigeon, and you s
t on it."
"That was fun, wasn't it?" says Aphrodite.
"Yes", says Eros. "Now I'll hold the pigeon, and you s
t on it."Vipers said:
The Mrs shouted up the stairs this morning, "The sun's finally come out."
I thought, "Great" go to the beach, beer garden, so I threw some shorts and flip flops on and shot down the stairs, I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Brian.
I thought, "Great" go to the beach, beer garden, so I threw some shorts and flip flops on and shot down the stairs, I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Brian.
Laurel Green said:
Vipers said:
The Mrs shouted up the stairs this morning, "The sun's finally come out."
I thought, "Great" go to the beach, beer garden, so I threw some shorts and flip flops on and shot down the stairs, I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Brian.
I thought, "Great" go to the beach, beer garden, so I threw some shorts and flip flops on and shot down the stairs, I was rather shocked when I got down to find our lad holding hands with his mate Brian.
Vipers on a roll!!!
Meanwhile:
Another oldie, but still funny.
My wife and I went to the Calgary Bull Sale & Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR
'My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if was with the same old cow every time.
My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
My wife and I went to the Calgary Bull Sale & Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR
'My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if was with the same old cow every time.
My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
Vipers said:
Another oldie, but still funny.
My wife and I went to the Calgary Bull Sale & Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR
'My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if was with the same old cow every time.
My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
This has some history - The Coolidge Effect : ‘Coolidge Effect.’ The story goes that President and Mrs Coolidge were visiting a government farm in Kentucky one day and after arrival were taken off on separate tours. When Mrs Coolidge passed the chicken pens she paused to ask her guide how often the rooster could be expected to perform his duty. ‘Dozens of times a day’ was her guide’s reply. She was most impressed by this and said, ‘Please tell that to the President.’ When the President was duly informed of the rooster’s performance he was initially dumbfounded. Then a thought occurred to him. ‘Was this with the same hen each time?’ he inquired. ‘Oh no, Mr President, a different one each time’ was his host’s reply. The President nodded slowly, smiled and said, ‘Tell that to Mrs Coolidge!’My wife and I went to the Calgary Bull Sale & Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR
'My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if was with the same old cow every time.
My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
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