Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)
Discussion
Robbo 27 said:
Laurel Green said:
I was at a cocktail party 'tother night, where I met a young lady with a strapless dress.
I inquired as to what was holding her dress up?
She replied "your age".
I am feeling my age, didnt get that joke at all.I inquired as to what was holding her dress up?
She replied "your age".
Vipers said:
Robbo 27 said:
Laurel Green said:
I was at a cocktail party 'tother night, where I met a young lady with a strapless dress.
I inquired as to what was holding her dress up?
She replied "your age".
I am feeling my age, didnt get that joke at all.I inquired as to what was holding her dress up?
She replied "your age".
Laurel Green said:
Quoted for the unimaginative on here.
Not sure the emboldening is helping a great deal.Laurel Green said:
I was at a cocktail party 'tother night, where I met a young lady with a strapless dress.
I inquired as to what was holding her dress up?
She replied "your age".
I inquired as to what was holding her dress up?
She replied "your age".
Are you suggesting that the age of the inquirer had some way of stopping the gravitational pull on the dress?
(and two points for any grammar nazis who spotted the misplaced apostrophe)
Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman in a pub.
Englishman says, "Oh it's Saint George's day today. My son George was born on Saint George's day, so we called him George".
"That's amazing" said the Scotsman. "My son Andrew was born on Saint Andrew's day, so we called him Andrew".
"That's incredible" said the Irishman "My son Pancake..."
Englishman says, "Oh it's Saint George's day today. My son George was born on Saint George's day, so we called him George".
"That's amazing" said the Scotsman. "My son Andrew was born on Saint Andrew's day, so we called him Andrew".
"That's incredible" said the Irishman "My son Pancake..."
Pat and Mick go to a building site for a job.
The foreman turns to Pat and says "What's your name?"
Pat says "My names Pat", WHALLOP the foreman decks Pat and says "Be proud to be Irish, your names Patrick, not Pat".
Turning to Mick, the Forman says "And what's your name?"
Mick takes a deep breath and says "My names Mickrik".
The foreman turns to Pat and says "What's your name?"
Pat says "My names Pat", WHALLOP the foreman decks Pat and says "Be proud to be Irish, your names Patrick, not Pat".
Turning to Mick, the Forman says "And what's your name?"
Mick takes a deep breath and says "My names Mickrik".
And one more to keep you going.
A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.
Well, Mom forgot until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding the bride and groom enter their hotel room. The groom was a little self-conscious so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.
While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there. She exclaimed, “Oh no! It’s short, pink, and wrinkled!”
Then her groom cried out, “I told you not to peek!”
A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.
Well, Mom forgot until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding the bride and groom enter their hotel room. The groom was a little self-conscious so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.
While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there. She exclaimed, “Oh no! It’s short, pink, and wrinkled!”
Then her groom cried out, “I told you not to peek!”
There's this newly wed couple about to spend their first night together,as they were undressing the following converstaion ensued:
"What happened to your feet?" his wife asked.
"I had a childhood disease called tolio."
"Don't you mean polio?"
"No, tolio, it only affects the toes."
He then removed his pants and revealed an
awful looking pair of knees.
"What happened to your knees?", she asked.
"Well, I also had kneesles."
"Don't you mean measles?"
"No, kneesles, it only affects the knees."
When he removed his shorts his wife gasped and
said, "Don't tell me, you also had smallcox !
"What happened to your feet?" his wife asked.
"I had a childhood disease called tolio."
"Don't you mean polio?"
"No, tolio, it only affects the toes."
He then removed his pants and revealed an
awful looking pair of knees.
"What happened to your knees?", she asked.
"Well, I also had kneesles."
"Don't you mean measles?"
"No, kneesles, it only affects the knees."
When he removed his shorts his wife gasped and
said, "Don't tell me, you also had smallcox !
Vipers said:
And one more to keep you going.
A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.
Well, Mom forgot until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding the bride and groom enter their hotel room. The groom was a little self-conscious so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.
While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there. She exclaimed, “Oh no! It’s short, pink, and wrinkled!”
Then her groom cried out, “I told you not to peek!”
Was she hoping for a long, black, straight one?A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle.
Well, Mom forgot until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.
After the wedding the bride and groom enter their hotel room. The groom was a little self-conscious so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.
While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there. She exclaimed, “Oh no! It’s short, pink, and wrinkled!”
Then her groom cried out, “I told you not to peek!”
k 'em. People like that don't deserve jokes.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff