Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Vipers]

Funkycoldribena said:

I Married Way Too Young.



We met in Shanghai.

Velly good.

[MartG]

[Vipers]

Doctor Jones likes to stop at a bar after work and enjoy an almond daiquiri.

One day, Dick the bartender runs out of almonds and uses hickory nuts instead.

The doctor takes a sip and says, “Is this an almond daiquiri, Dick?”

Dick says, “No, It's a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”

Edited by Vipers on Saturday 23 September 23:58

[Robbo 27]

Funkycoldribena said:

I Married Way Too Young.



We met in Shanghai.

Her brother wasnt impressed, made a mess on the wedding car, his name was Hoo Flung Dung.

[Monkeylegend]

Robbo 27 said:

Funkycoldribena said:

I Married Way Too Young.



We met in Shanghai.

Her brother wasnt impressed, made a mess on the wedding car, his name was Hoo Flung Dung.

The other brother is a policeman, Hoo Dun Dat.

[Robbo 27]

Monkeylegend said:

The other brother is a policeman, Hoo Dun Dat.

Sergeant Wong is his assistant, I looked in the phone book to call him but there was so many Wings and Wongs that I.........



(finish the joke yourself)

Edited by Robbo 27 on Sunday 24th September 11:15

[Evangelion]

It was the last brother that got me really worried, his name was Ai Suk Kok.

[Monkeylegend]

Not as much as his boyfriend Fuk Ai Cum.

[MartG]

If you're a security guard at Samsung, does that make you a guardian of the galaxy’s

[MartG]

"Let them tweet cake" - Marie Internet

[Vipers]

Why is Italy shaped like a boot?

Because you can't get all that st in a shoe.

[PoleDriver]

Or

If you're a security guard at Mars, does that make you a guardian of the Galaxys?

[Monkeylegend]

Or if you are a security guard at Ford does it make you guardian of the S Max.

[PoleDriver]

MartG said:

PoleDriver said:

Or

If you're a security guard at Mars, does that make you a guardian of the Galaxys?

Only 3 posts previously - is this a record ?

Where?

[soad]

^ Ha, word play.

[Monkeylegend]

MartG said:

PoleDriver said:

Or

If you're a security guard at Mars, does that make you a guardian of the Galaxys?

Only 3 posts previously - is this a record ?

Whooooooosh.....................

[Killer2005]

A 6ft beetle just knocked at my door. When I opened it, the beetle punched me and called me an ugly .

Seems there a nasty bug going around.

[Ayahuasca]

I was mugged in Istanbul and had to pick the suspect out of a police line up.

I spotted him right away.

I never forget a fez.

[MartG]

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ?

They both have the same middle name .

[Laurel Green]