Things that annoy you beyond reason...(Vol 4)

[Ted2]

nonsequitur said:

Ted2 said:

cuprabob said:

rolex said:

I walk into a caff and there's one free table. I'm standing at the counter ordering my egg and chips and a couple walk in. The chap joins the queue and the woman goes and sits at the free table. I'm seething inside! Get off my fecking table you queue jumping bh!

This also annoys the hell out of me

The solution to this problem is to put some of your own items down on the table so that if anyone does try that trick you can point out that you are already sitting there. A newspaper or coat/bag will suffice, even a set of cutlery would do.

This is not a solution to the problem.

If you don't have a tray with food that is paid for and ready to eat I would argue that you cannot claim a table. Those that do call it 'strategic seating' I call it ******* with an added**

You're more than welcome to follow protocol/etiquette (or whatever else you want to call it) as I'm sat down at a table enjoying my full English breakfast and you're stood there like a spare part with your brew and plate of toast in your hands waiting for a free table and cursing yourself that you didn't listen to Ted!

[Moonhawk]

SpeckledJim said:

You should have sacked the builders on day one, put C on top of B and gone for a nice sit down.

C was on top of B. But B wasnt where we wanted the new B to be......if you see what I mean.

[phazed]

Moonhawk said:

Builders.

I gave them:

A) accurate ‘to scale’ architects plans.
B) a 1:1 scale replica of the thing they need to build that they can take direct measurements off.
C) the thing that need to fit on top of their construction.

..........and it still comes out wrong.....and is apparently my fault.

Interested to know what the hell the item is that they were contracted to build?

If you had a 1:1 replica, you had one already, no?

Speaking as a builder, let me inform you that all builders are totally infallible, work perfectly to a clients timetable and are very sensibly priced.

Just off to sand down my nose..........

[Clockwork Cupcake]

Moonhawk said:

B) a 1:1 scale replica of the thing they need to build that they can take direct measurements off.

I have visions of the model of Stonehenge in Spinal Tap.

[nonsequitur]

Ted2 said:

nonsequitur said:

Ted2 said:

cuprabob said:

rolex said:

I walk into a caff and there's one free table. I'm standing at the counter ordering my egg and chips and a couple walk in. The chap joins the queue and the woman goes and sits at the free table. I'm seething inside! Get off my fecking table you queue jumping bh!

This also annoys the hell out of me

The solution to this problem is to put some of your own items down on the table so that if anyone does try that trick you can point out that you are already sitting there. A newspaper or coat/bag will suffice, even a set of cutlery would do.

This is not a solution to the problem.

If you don't have a tray with food that is paid for and ready to eat I would argue that you cannot claim a table. Those that do call it 'strategic seating' I call it ******* with an added**

You're more than welcome to follow protocol/etiquette (or whatever else you want to call it) as I'm sat down at a table enjoying my full English breakfast and you're stood there like a spare part with your brew and plate of toast in your hands waiting for a free table and cursing yourself that you didn't listen to Ted!

The wrong way round.

Ted, you ars deleted from my christmas card list.

[Ted2]

nonsequitur said:

The wrong way round.

Ted, you ars deleted from my christmas card list.

I wouldn't have got one anyway as you can't write cards while you're holding your brew and toast. If only you had a table...

[Moonhawk]

phazed said:

Interested to know what the hell the item is that they were contracted to build?

If you had a 1:1 replica, you had one already, no?

Speaking as a builder, let me inform you that all builders are totally infallible, work perfectly to a clients timetable and are very sensibly priced.

Just off to sand down my nose..........

We had a conservatory. We had the UPVC part taken off because we wanted it relocating.

Builders had to build an identical base to accommodate the UPVC. Old conservatory base was then build into a dining room.

Edited by Moonhawk on Saturday 18th November 10:30

[Wiccan of Darkness]

Clusterflies. Specifically, the grenades.

Earlier this week I got the xmas decs out of the loft, late this year due to excessive faffing. Normally last week of october, due to the above. Took reasonable precautions. Current SWMBO was perplexed at my explanation as she has never experienced clusterflies.

Normally, the grenades are the size of an orange at best, but this year they were like ruddy great pineapples hanging from the rafters. One dislodged, fell through the hatch and landed in SWMBO's barnet, precipitating a copious amount of screaming, and her flapping like a spastic monkey in a swarm of bees. Whilst hilarious, laughing with clusterflies is fatal so I stifled my mirth until a kidney went pop.

It has taken all week for the buggers to die off, I have literally had the hoover on for an hour a night, all week.

Meanwhile, the boxes of xmas decorations are in the second guest bedroom, opened and warming to allow the flies to dissipate. The cat is going mental, too many flies to chase.

I yearn for a house without clusterflies, but it's par for the course in an older property.

Sadly, SWMBO doesn't see the funny side of it, and continues to have a face on her that resembles a bipolar gastropod.

[ScotsDave]

Cars with their rear wipers swishing merrily on a perfectly dry rear window. You wonder how often the driver uses their rear view mirror if they don't notice it.

[Clockwork Cupcake]

ScotsDave said:

Cars with their rear wipers swishing merrily on a perfectly dry rear window. You wonder how often the driver uses their rear view mirror if they don't notice it.

[jmorgan]

Clockwork Cupcake said:

ScotsDave said:

Cars with their rear wipers swishing merrily on a perfectly dry rear window. You wonder how often the driver uses their rear view mirror if they don't notice it.

Vans with a warp over the rear windows and the swipe wear from the wiper.

[john2443]

rolex said:

I walk into a caff and there's one free table. I'm standing at the counter ordering my egg and chips and a couple walk in. The chap joins the queue and the woman goes and sits at the free table. I'm seething inside! Get off my fecking table you queue jumping bh!

Just go and sit at the table with her!

[Triumph Man]

davhill said:

Here's an example of the one thing that really gets up my spout. Tearing into those responsible is possible but will only make things worse. I apologise for havng a rant here and I crave your indugence.

I rent out my house's ground floor to holidaymakers. About a month ago, a booking was made in a huge panic. it was for a couple whose house was to be repaired following flood damage from the failure of the upstairs bathroom. They duly arrived and were settled in. Soon enough, they were enjoying the comfy lounge and bedroom, the fully equipped kitchen, the gas central heating, Sky Q and all the rest.

I received their review today - a whole two-star verdict. Read it for yourself...

'We were put. In this cottage after our home was flooded . We know the village as I was born here . It has a shop &, pub fish & chip shop & post office & church . Buses & a train station . On first glance it looks ok the owner rang the morning we were moving in to say he had broken the bathroom sink which flooded the bathroom . For the first week we had to put up with the smell of a wet carpet drying . a taped up sink & a dehumidifier 24 /7 . A new sink was put in 6 days later. The whole place needs a deep clean & decoration . The cupboards fridge freezer emptied of personal goods . You can hear the owner upstairs which will not suit everybody . We did our best to clean the things we used . I've given it 2 stars mainly for the cleanliness. It could be a very nice rental.'

Well, just fk right off, you leeches. Yes, the basin got broken, the night before you showed. It was taped up to stop you cutting yourselves and my plumber put the new one in on a Saturday. The carpet was wetted by the basin's being full when it was broken and the dehumidifier was running when you arrived.

Dehumidifier 24/7? ps off, You offered to take charge of it and emptied the tank several times, switching the unit off at night.

Personal goods in the fridge freezer and cupboards? Oh dear, three jars and a packet of naan brad. In a 6-foot-tall American style unit with water chiller and ice dispenser? It's tragic. And where do suggest the high chair goes? I can think of the perfect place...

Deep clean? Stick it up your aholes. I have a new Dyson and it isn't for decoration. I also washed all carpets three - yes, three times at the end of the summer season. And what will you be doing a at Christmas? Don't tell me, drinking yourselves stupid. I'll be decorating.

It's funny though. This pair had no issue with my presence upstairs when they started ringing my mobile and bleating about the Sky Q's going down. Nor did they mind about my appearing to do a hard reset, configure the standby settings and show them how to use the system.

And here's a facer for them. Why bleat to me when you paid not a penny for your stay from your own pockets? Your insurance company choose my cottage, you came and looked at it before confirming you were happy. And I didn't receive a red cent for nigh on a month.

My basin breakage was no less accidental than your flooded home. Thank you so much for putting off potential future guests for me.

And breathe...

Edited by davhill on Thursday 16th November 04:53

Gosh they sound like a pair of ungrateful entitled s.

[davhill]

Thank you

[glenrobbo]

Wiccan of Darkness said:

Clusterflies. Specifically, the grenades.
I yearn for a house without clusterflies.

OP, WTF are clusterflies???
And grenades of the same???

Where do you live? Some godawful tropical swamp?

Or have you accidentally conjured up bad spirits going about your Wiccanly business?

In all of my many long years on this earth, I have never ever heard of clusterflies.

Perhaps you should try the old remedy for keeping flies out of your kitchen...



Stand a bucket of st in your lounge.

[V40TC]

Wiccan of Darkness said:

Clusterflies.

They seem to reside in Houses with South facing roofs
we had them in an older property 1745
I concerted effort with the Pesticide smoke bombs and the Electrocuting fly killer with a Black bag taped on the bottom, saw the Numbers down to a handfull from the initial thousands.

Horrible things glad we moved

[davhill]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Nah, I don't feed on grudges and I've better things on. it'd be nice if they re-did their review.My 11 fair reviews from the first year
are one 5-star, eight 4star and two 3-star.

In any case, I'm, transferring to a different booking agency (that vets reviews). I have to take my
place off the current one so that review'll become a sick pachyderm (illelephant).

[glenrobbo]

davhill said:

Nah, I don't feed on grudges and I've better things on. it'd be nice if they re-did their review.
My 11 fair reviews from the first year are:

one 5-star, eight 4star and two 3-star.

In any case, I'm transferring to a different booking agency (that vets reviews). I have to take my
place off the current one so that review'll become a sick pachyderm (illelephant).

Definite downward trend there, OP.

And I'm so sorry to hear about your elephant.

[MartG]

MPs being referred to as 'the right honorable' - honorable !!! Why the fk are those lying, scheming, self serving, inhumane gobstes called honorable ?

[grumbledoak]

MartG said:

MPs being referred to as 'the right honorable' - honorable !!! Why the fk are those lying, scheming, self serving, inhumane gobstes called honorable ?

It's not only cream that rises to the top, but you'd be well advised to refer to them as such. At least to their faces.