Management Speak

[cookmysock]

every time I hear the word "solution" I cringe and snigger at the same time. Sounds like some one has just jizzed on the floor - look, a solution!

[Negative Creep]

I can't do that because of business needs = I won't allow that perfectly reasonable request because I'm petty and need to be seen to be in charge

Well we'll certainly consider that = completely ignore it

I had to stop in to talk to another Manager before coming onto the floor = I was late to work, although don't you dare clock in a minute late because I'll dock you 15 minutes pay for it.

[Balmoral]

"Houston, we have a challenge..."

[BrabusMog]

Negative Creep said:

I can't do that because of business needs = I won't allow that perfectly reasonable request because I'm petty and need to be seen to be in charge

I often say "it's not what I want, it's what the business needs." Does this mean people talk about me behind my back?

[PositronicRay]

cookmysock said:

stumbled across this on Linkedin written by some moron in response to a poorly written article a bout how to turbo charge a meeting. It is just pure drivel

...I support the views that all companies should be investing in new innovation capital competitive advantages so as to developing new products/ services/ designs/ markets/ business/ equity and culture via the creative industries worldwide i.e. global new business opportunities exist to innovate and maximise corporate values and benefits - new business innovation could be outsourced and licensed to investors worldwide for profits via brand extension models = new financial innovation...

Surely the writer must have been taking the mickey?

Looks like an ongoing out of control human resources issue.

[Jimmy Recard]

There is just something I'd like to pop into your percolator, see if it comes out brown.

[dudleybloke]

Remember, there's no "I" in team, but there's a "U" in c*nt.

[GadgeS3C]

dudleybloke said:

Remember, there's no "I" in team, but there's a "U" in c*nt.

No but applying an innovative non-sequential thinking out the box creative algorithm there is a "me".

[TwigtheWonderkid]

dudleybloke said:

Remember, there's no "I" in team,

But there is me, ta!

[davepoth]

Balmoral said:

"Houston, we have a challenge..."

I worked in a place where we had to call them "Opportunities to excel".

The one that really gets me is the inappropriate use of "yourself" or "myself" in emails. It always signifies that I will be shaking my head in disdain before I've finished reading it.

[Jimmy Recard]

TwigtheWonderkid said:

But there is me, ta!

I think we have a slight togetherness shortfall here

[Sharted]

dudleybloke said:

Remember, there's no "I" in team.

But there are two in imbecile.

[jonamv8]

Can we scramble the jets?

We r not an airline, no do we own or rent any planes.

Just ask us to do it as quickly as we can

[jonamv8]

Can we scramble the jets?

We r not an airline, no do we own or rent any planes.

Just ask us to do it as quickly as we can

[jonamv8]

Can we scramble the jets?

We r not an airline, no do we own or rent any planes.

Just ask us to do it as quickly as we can

[jonamv8]

Can we scramble the jets?

We r not an airline, no do we own or rent any planes.

Just ask us to do it as quickly as we can

[dudleybloke]

Synergistically dynamic.

[Kenty]

All they are going to do is 'pluck the low hanging fruit' - obviously!

[cookmysock]

jonamv8 said:

Can we scramble the jets?

We r not an airline, no do we own or rent any planes.

Just ask us to do it as quickly as we can

that's a lot of scrambling! The synergistic multiplicity approach you have taken will create an innovative culture to provide solutions so we can all reach the strategic goals we aspire too.

either that or you will get motion sick from all the flying.

[Warmfuzzies]

Feedback is a gift,



well fking wrap it properly then