Management Speak

[Hoofy]

blueST said:

This stuff is just so common I don't even notice it, and can't even properly resist it creeping into my own language. But, encouraged by this thread, today's highlights were "we need to wrestle this issue to the ground" and "Are we in that headspace yet?". In fact using the word "space" to describe some abstract objective or topic area seems to be all the rage at the minute.

Ugh. "Wellness space." fk OFF!

[DoubleD]

"Pull the trigger"

[Sixpackpert]

Been looking for new accountants and came across these guys...

https://mbsaccountants.co.uk/

Turbo Calls and Request a Discovery Call...oh do me a favour!

[Hoofy]

Sixpackpert said:

Been looking for new accountants and came across these guys...

https://mbsaccountants.co.uk/

Turbo Calls and Request a Discovery Call...oh do me a favour!

Didn't read the detail but they probably describe themselves as a boutique firm.

[Sixpackpert]

Hoofy said:

Sixpackpert said:

Been looking for new accountants and came across these guys...

https://mbsaccountants.co.uk/

Turbo Calls and Request a Discovery Call...oh do me a favour!

Didn't read the detail but they probably describe themselves as a boutique firm.

Wouldn’t trust them with my sons pocket money to be fair!

[Scabutz]

Sixpackpert said:

Hoofy said:

Sixpackpert said:

Been looking for new accountants and came across these guys...

https://mbsaccountants.co.uk/

Turbo Calls and Request a Discovery Call...oh do me a favour!

Didn't read the detail but they probably describe themselves as a boutique firm.

Wouldn’t trust them with my sons pocket money to be fair!

"We are experts are using tech to save you time and reduce stress. Welcome to a life without spreadsheets & complex software."

Or proof readers it would seem.

[Scabutz]

I have just come from the best meeting. Some nuggets:

Pace Layering - nope no idea what it means

My favorite "we are going to synergise and socialise our strategy"

We need to increase our internal cadence

[deckster]

Scabutz said:

I have just come from the best meeting. Some nuggets:

Pace Layering - nope no idea what it means

My favorite "we are going to synergise and socialise our strategy"

We need to increase our internal cadence

You need to tweak your bullst-meter, or at least do some research. Pace Layering is a perfectly valid reference to a Gartner enterprise model.

Whether the model is any good is of course up for debate - but it's definitely not just management speak.

The rest is garbage I agree.

[GM182]

Rawwr said:

If my boss says 'holistically' again, I'm going to shank him in the gut.

I came into the Lounge to find something amusing rather than start another piece of work at 4pm on a Friday and that delivered. Cheers.

Someone said they needed to 'socialise' a report in a meeting yesterday. I wasn't the only one to ask what they meant. Apparently it is get informal agreement on the contents from key stakeholders before it is presented formally for a vote. Sort of makes sense I suppose but why not just say: We will show the report informally for checking before putting it to a vote. More words but everybody would understand.

[DoubleD]

deckster said:

Scabutz said:

I have just come from the best meeting. Some nuggets:

Pace Layering - nope no idea what it means

My favorite "we are going to synergise and socialise our strategy"

We need to increase our internal cadence

You need to tweak your bullst-meter, or at least do some research. Pace Layering is a perfectly valid reference to a Gartner enterprise model.

Whether the model is any good is of course up for debate - but it's definitely not just management speak.

The rest is garbage I agree.

What is Pace layering?
PACE Layered Application Strategy Definition. PACE Layered Application Strategy is a methodology to govern software applications through their entire life-cycle in support of evolving business requirements. Pace layered approach has been developed by the advisory firm Gartner.

Sounds like management speak to me.

[deckster]

DoubleD said:

What is Pace layering?
PACE Layered Application Strategy Definition. PACE Layered Application Strategy is a methodology to govern software applications through their entire life-cycle in support of evolving business requirements. Pace layered approach has been developed by the advisory firm Gartner.

Sounds like management speak to me.

It's really not. Management speak is where you mange every-day words to mean things which are already perfectly well expressed using existing words (hence "increase our cadence" for "speed up").

Pace layering is just another way of looking at your systems from an enterprise point of view. You may well think it's a waste of time and meaningless, and you may well be right. But it's definitely not management speak.

[tangerine_sedge]

deckster said:

DoubleD said:

What is Pace layering?
PACE Layered Application Strategy Definition. PACE Layered Application Strategy is a methodology to govern software applications through their entire life-cycle in support of evolving business requirements. Pace layered approach has been developed by the advisory firm Gartner.

Sounds like management speak to me.

It's really not. Management speak is where you mange every-day words to mean things which are already perfectly well expressed using existing words (hence "increase our cadence" for "speed up").

Pace layering is just another way of looking at your systems from an enterprise point of view. You may well think it's a waste of time and meaningless, and you may well be right. But it's definitely not management speak.

Sound like application lifecycle management to me, but then I'm not a consultancy trying to dress up a simple concept as a 'methodology' in an attempt to fleece corporate customers.

[Scabutz]

deckster said:

DoubleD said:

What is Pace layering?
PACE Layered Application Strategy Definition. PACE Layered Application Strategy is a methodology to govern software applications through their entire life-cycle in support of evolving business requirements. Pace layered approach has been developed by the advisory firm Gartner.

Sounds like management speak to me.

It's really not. Management speak is where you mange every-day words to mean things which are already perfectly well expressed using existing words (hence "increase our cadence" for "speed up").

Pace layering is just another way of looking at your systems from an enterprise point of view. You may well think it's a waste of time and meaningless, and you may well be right. But it's definitely not management speak.

Pace Layering used in the meeting today I will not classify as management speak as they were referring to a phrase created by another party. HOWEVER, the tossers at Gartner who created are guilty of management speak in creating that name.

[DoubleD]

Scabutz said:

deckster said:

DoubleD said:

What is Pace layering?
PACE Layered Application Strategy Definition. PACE Layered Application Strategy is a methodology to govern software applications through their entire life-cycle in support of evolving business requirements. Pace layered approach has been developed by the advisory firm Gartner.

Sounds like management speak to me.

It's really not. Management speak is where you mange every-day words to mean things which are already perfectly well expressed using existing words (hence "increase our cadence" for "speed up").

Pace layering is just another way of looking at your systems from an enterprise point of view. You may well think it's a waste of time and meaningless, and you may well be right. But it's definitely not management speak.

Pace Layering used in the meeting today I will not classify as management speak as they were referring to a phrase created by another party. HOWEVER, the tossers at Gartner who created are guilty of management speak in creating that name.

Yep. Saying pace layering out loud is a sure sign of someone who's a bit of a tool.

[ILikeCake]

I'm vaguely interested in a job I've seen online. The description sounded a bit floaty though. My suspicions were raised when the ad referred to a 'culture deck', and confirmed when I read the following:

"From the beginning we've had clearly defined values. Every Friday at 12pm we have a 30 minute all-hands to retrospect on whether we're getting stronger or weaker at living them."

Eh!?

[ashleyman]

I heard ‘let’s take this offline’ in a meeting today.

Excellent.

[randlemarcus]

ashleyman said:

I heard ‘let’s take this offline’ in a meeting today.

Excellent.

A much more polite way of saying "shut the fk up, and we can get this meeting finished"

[Scabutz]

ILikeCake said:

I'm vaguely interested in a job I've seen online. The description sounded a bit floaty though. My suspicions were raised when the ad referred to a 'culture deck', and confirmed when I read the following:

"From the beginning we've had clearly defined values. Every Friday at 12pm we have a 30 minute all-hands to retrospect on whether we're getting stronger or weaker at living them."

Eh!?

That job could pay 100k a week with a blow job from Scarlett Johansson every monday morning and I would think twice about it after reading that.

[ILikeCake]

Scabutz said:

ILikeCake said:

I'm vaguely interested in a job I've seen online. The description sounded a bit floaty though. My suspicions were raised when the ad referred to a 'culture deck', and confirmed when I read the following:

"From the beginning we've had clearly defined values. Every Friday at 12pm we have a 30 minute all-hands to retrospect on whether we're getting stronger or weaker at living them."

Eh!?

That job could pay 100k a week with a blow job from Scarlett Johansson every monday morning and I would think twice about it after reading that.

I've just read that one of the seven core values they are looking for is "relentless self iteration".

I thought that made you go blind!

[Scabutz]

ILikeCake said:

Scabutz said:

ILikeCake said:

I'm vaguely interested in a job I've seen online. The description sounded a bit floaty though. My suspicions were raised when the ad referred to a 'culture deck', and confirmed when I read the following:

"From the beginning we've had clearly defined values. Every Friday at 12pm we have a 30 minute all-hands to retrospect on whether we're getting stronger or weaker at living them."

Eh!?

That job could pay 100k a week with a blow job from Scarlett Johansson every monday morning and I would think twice about it after reading that.

I've just read that one of the seven core values they are looking for is "relentless self iteration".

I thought that made you go blind!

I'm sorry buddy but you're going to have to take one for the team and go ahead with this. Looks like a target rich environment for wky speak.