Management Speak
Discussion
I used to work with a guy who loved this sort of s
t. He'd never phone someone when he could reach out to them, or invite someone to a meeting when they could be looped in.
I fell forever into his bad books (if I wasn't there already) for responding to an e-mail saying "we don't want to boil the ocean on this" by explaining, with calculations and reference to any assumptions made, that the effort involved was roughly equivalent to boiling a small municipal swimming pool and therefore fell short of boiling the ocean by quite some significant margin.
t. He'd never phone someone when he could reach out to them, or invite someone to a meeting when they could be looped in.I fell forever into his bad books (if I wasn't there already) for responding to an e-mail saying "we don't want to boil the ocean on this" by explaining, with calculations and reference to any assumptions made, that the effort involved was roughly equivalent to boiling a small municipal swimming pool and therefore fell short of boiling the ocean by quite some significant margin.
Two that are new to me:
On-boarded - as in "We didn't hire Jane, HR on-boarded her". Sound flipping wrong frankly, and likely to get the HR manager on a disciplinary.
Dis-benefits - as clearly weighing up the Pros and cons, or positives and negatives of something isn't as operationally streamlined to the corporate outlook as managing the Benefits and Disbenefits.
On-boarded - as in "We didn't hire Jane, HR on-boarded her". Sound flipping wrong frankly, and likely to get the HR manager on a disciplinary.
Dis-benefits - as clearly weighing up the Pros and cons, or positives and negatives of something isn't as operationally streamlined to the corporate outlook as managing the Benefits and Disbenefits.
fatandwheezing said:
Two that are new to me:
On-boarded - as in "We didn't hire Jane, HR on-boarded her". Sound flipping wrong frankly, and likely to get the HR manager on a disciplinary.
Dis-benefits - as clearly weighing up the Pros and cons, or positives and negatives of something isn't as operationally streamlined to the corporate outlook as managing the Benefits and Disbenefits.
'On-boarded' refers to completing the full process of hiring, welcoming, familiarisation, training, making equipment available, and settling into the job to the point of actually working.On-boarded - as in "We didn't hire Jane, HR on-boarded her". Sound flipping wrong frankly, and likely to get the HR manager on a disciplinary.
Dis-benefits - as clearly weighing up the Pros and cons, or positives and negatives of something isn't as operationally streamlined to the corporate outlook as managing the Benefits and Disbenefits.
Yeah it's a bit much, but it is intended to mean a bit more than 'hired'.
(I often consult to HR departments. I don't determine their language, I just have to know it.)
'Dis-benefits' Holy cow. 'disadvantage' apparently needed an upgrade.
Axionknight said:
Our department that deals with tendering/bidding and such forth use the word "deliverables".
Which is basically selling the client technology we haven't designed or qualified yet.
Tools.
a deliverable is a standard proj management word and is the product of the project you're working on. as wWhich is basically selling the client technology we haven't designed or qualified yet.
Tools.
k words go its not that bad.touch base is the one i really hate as i just fail to see what analogy they used to come up with it.
restructure is another good one which hides a multitude of sins. company's not f
ked, we're just restructuring again which will mean we can achieve less work with less people and less reward, yay!darker grapefruit said:
I once had a manager who would say: "Bring me solutions, not problems". He would also say "kick the tyres" (check everything is OK) and "under-promise, over-deliver".
When I managed a 50 person team, it used to enrage me how often people would come to me with problems without having thought for a millisecond how that issue could be resolved. Most of the time, the solution was obvious and they could work it out themselves. I began to use the phrase "Bring me solutions, not problems" to try to get them to at least think about what they were bringing into my office.I've made a long career out of "under-promising and over-delivering". It's a fine concept.
darker grapefruit said:
I once had a manager who would say: "Bring me solutions, not problems". He would also say "kick the tyres" (check everything is OK) and "under-promise, over-deliver".
Boss: we don't have problems, we have opportunities!Minion: "Boss, I've got a serious drinking opportunity....."
AstonZagato said:
When I managed a 50 person team, it used to enrage me how often people would come to me with problems without having thought for a millisecond how that issue could be resolved. Most of the time, the solution was obvious and they could work it out themselves. I began to use the phrase "Bring me solutions, not problems" to try to get them to at least think about what they were bringing into my office.
I've made a long career out of "under-promising and over-delivering". It's a fine concept.
I'm a project manager and I'm also striving to achieve the 'bring me solutions, not problems' culture and I struggle. It's phrase I quite like and I think it was originally from Maggie Thatcher. I've made a long career out of "under-promising and over-delivering". It's a fine concept.
I admit that that I haven't been a full time project manager for very long, but I'm enjoying it and it's better than an unhappy 10 years in sales 😀
AstonZagato said:
When I managed a 50 person team, it used to enrage me how often people would come to me with problems without having thought for a millisecond how that issue could be resolved. Most of the time, the solution was obvious and they could work it out themselves. I began to use the phrase "Bring me solutions, not problems" to try to get them to at least think about what they were bringing into my office.
If they knew what the solution was why would they come to you? 
Countdown said:
AstonZagato said:
When I managed a 50 person team, it used to enrage me how often people would come to me with problems without having thought for a millisecond how that issue could be resolved. Most of the time, the solution was obvious and they could work it out themselves. I began to use the phrase "Bring me solutions, not problems" to try to get them to at least think about what they were bringing into my office.
If they knew what the solution was why would they come to you? or they really are thick.
So it's either a corporate culture or a recruitment problem
smn159 said:
Countdown said:
AstonZagato said:
When I managed a 50 person team, it used to enrage me how often people would come to me with problems without having thought for a millisecond how that issue could be resolved. Most of the time, the solution was obvious and they could work it out themselves. I began to use the phrase "Bring me solutions, not problems" to try to get them to at least think about what they were bringing into my office.
If they knew what the solution was why would they come to you? or they really are thick.
So it's either a corporate culture or a recruitment problem
Doesn't this make you want to be first in the queue for a course introduced in this email from Human Remains:
We have invited <name> (Manager, IT Innovation – Method Incubation) and his team of Method Coaches back to deliver Design Thinking Experience and Creativity Gym training sessions
We have invited <name> (Manager, IT Innovation – Method Incubation) and his team of Method Coaches back to deliver Design Thinking Experience and Creativity Gym training sessions
Rawwr said:
"Come stir-fry some thoughts in my cerebral wok." - Gus Hedges
Way back in the 80s a new colleague asked if he could "swim in my think tank". I'm afraid that from that moment he was a tt as far as the rest of us were concerned. He did of course use all the usual others, 'run it up the flagpole', 'pop it in the toaster', etc,etc.CanAm said:
Way back in the 80s a new colleague asked if he could "swim in my think tank". I'm afraid that from that moment he was a tt as far as the rest of us were concerned. He did of course use all the usual others, 'run it up the flagpole', 'pop it in the toaster', etc,etc.
When I heard "run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it" I was convinced I was part of a prank by older colleagues a la "tartan paint" "long weight/wait" etc tomfoolery.t as far as the rest of us were concerned. He did of course use all the usual others, 'run it up the flagpole', 'pop it in the toaster', etc,etc.Does anybody here work for or volunteer within the NHS?
The cobblers that gets into the monthly communications from the Trust head honcho's is pathetic. Will copy & post some extracts the next time I receive my copy.
What REALLY disappointed & disillusioned me is that something similar gets circulated by the management at a hospice I work at. My 'lead' ( for Gods sake she is my 'manager' !!! ) is always off to a Focus Group or Strategy Meeting or just 'a meeting'. In 5 years I have NEVER EVER got a clue or witnessed any evidence as to the outcomes.
The cobblers that gets into the monthly communications from the Trust head honcho's is pathetic. Will copy & post some extracts the next time I receive my copy.
What REALLY disappointed & disillusioned me is that something similar gets circulated by the management at a hospice I work at. My 'lead' ( for Gods sake she is my 'manager' !!! ) is always off to a Focus Group or Strategy Meeting or just 'a meeting'. In 5 years I have NEVER EVER got a clue or witnessed any evidence as to the outcomes.
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