A bit council Vol 2

[Goaty Bill 2]

Countdown said:

Having more alcohol than food in your shopping trolley.

Is that by volume, weight or cost?
Surely a gentleman's weekly whiskey bill should be higher than his food bill?
The opposite would imply one drinks cheap whiskey.

As ashamed as I am to admit it, the cellared port simply wouldn't last out the next two years without regular additional acquisitions.

[Jezzerh]

TAPOUT Tee shirts.

[ThunderGuts]

Fat woman.
Fat dog.
Mobility scooter.
Fag.

[Antony Moxey]

ThunderGuts said:

Fat woman.
Fat dog.
Mobility scooter.
Fag.

I suspect for extra council points the dog is just about to have a ste and when it's finished she'll simply trundle off down the road and leave the turd on the grass.

[768]

Tom_C76 said:

motco said:

Thankyou4calling said:

Understand all the talk about inherited furniture and such but Oak furnitureland sells pretty decent furniture, don't want to get in an arguement v Chippendale etc but to my mind council wouldn't be it's target market.

I agree. At least it doesn't fall apart as soon as you look at it, unlike the blue and yellow stuff.

Isn't being unable to assemble perfectly decent furniture without it falling apart a bit council?

You do what to your furniture?

IKEA has the council market all sewn up, I can't see OFL getting a look in.

[WD39]

Antony Moxey said:

ThunderGuts said:

Fat woman.
Fat dog.
Mobility scooter.
Fag.

I suspect for extra council points the dog is just about to have a ste and when it's finished she'll simply trundle off down the road and leave the turd on the grass.

Im willing to bet that the verge is choc-a-block with Richards.

[ATTAK Z]

WD39 said:

Antony Moxey said:

ThunderGuts said:

Fat woman.
Fat dog.
Mobility scooter.
Fag.

I suspect for extra council points the dog is just about to have a ste and when it's finished she'll simply trundle off down the road and leave the turd on the grass.

Im willing to bet that the verge is choc-a-block with Richards.

Council dog probably eating one of said Richards

[CoolHands]

ThunderGuts said:

Fat woman.
Fat dog.
Mobility scooter.
Fag.

We're paying for that

[BigBen]

motco said:

Gunk said:

popegregory said:

Brean. Oh my word.

Zafiras and >15 year old once-prestigious 4x4s everywhere. Everyone tattooed. Parents loudly swearing in front of kids and, my absolute favourite spot, one tramp saying to her 8 year old as she ran to the sea unsupervised and pulling her rubber dinghy: "IF YOU GET IN TROUBLE JUST ROLL OUT OF IT, SOMEONE WILL SAVE YOU!"

Lovely day out by the sea though.

Sounds like West Wittering on a Bank Holiday!

As a five year old in the days of yore, my parents would take me and other child family members to West Wittering, some in the chair of a family m/c combination outfit, and we'd play on the sand among the old wartime metal structures on the sands enjoying the almost empty beach and silver-sand like quality of the foreshore. Sand in the sandwiches was an inevitability... For a child - Heaven!

I thought West Wittering was the non-council alternative to Littlehampton, then again I have not visited for many years.

[Hainey]

Jezzerh said:

TAPOUT Tee shirts.

Usually worn by fat blokes with full sleeve tattoos that claim to do MMA, but are more familiar with a Greg's jam roll than a crocodile roll on the mat.

Bonus council points if they work a door in a pub/club favoured hy the 18-25 year old age range and deal a few grams on the side.

[Wobbegong]

Neil H said:

Double-barreled first names..

Dakota-Grace
Bobby-Rose
Chardonnay-Blanc
Totally-Council

Inability to spell the name of their own child.

A friend of a friend on Facebook proudly displayed some sand writing at the beach

"Mommy & Daddy
& Sumer"

[CoolHands]

Benefits-prop walking cane used during argument

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3755962/Ar...

[Dog Star]

CoolHands said:

Benefits-prop walking cane used during argument

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3755962/Ar...

On the subject of these - way back somewhere on PH I learned the definition of "dole pole". However there were a couple of other cracking alternatives - anyone remember?

[williamp]

CoolHands said:

Benefits-prop walking cane used during argument

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3755962/Ar...

filming someone else's argument is also council. And smiling throguhout, indicating they think thye are "better" then them

[RobinOakapple]

austinsmirk said:

and like Waynetta slob, she has a brown one too, just like all the other mum's on the estate.

22 years old, 2 children, different fathers..................

Grocer's apostrophes are council.

[gus607]

Dog Star said:

On the subject of these - way back somewhere on PH I learned the definition of "dole pole". However there were a couple of other cracking alternatives - anyone remember?

Benefit Sticks !

[Wobbegong]

gus607 said:

Dog Star said:

On the subject of these - way back somewhere on PH I learned the definition of "dole pole". However there were a couple of other cracking alternatives - anyone remember?

Benefit Sticks !

I call them AT-ATs

[anonymous-user]

williamp said:

CoolHands said:

Benefits-prop walking cane used during argument

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3755962/Ar...

filming someone else's argument is also council. And smiling throguhout, indicating they think thye are "better" then them

Nah, there's nothing like listening in on a chavtastic argument. Filming it is just the cherry on top

[Vocal Minority]

williamp said:

[snip] smiling throguhout, indicating they think thye are "better" then them

In fairness, this is a thread of people doing just that...

(granted its a pretty rough argument, but have you really nothing better to do than film it whilst making silly faces?)

Edited by Vocal Minority on Thursday 25th August 10:20

[PurpleTurtle]

Rosun said:

Speedway

Arguably one of Morrissey's finer but less well known solo tunes! I get a bit emotional at the 'I've always been be true to you' bit ....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5ojwffp8r8

Ah, you mean blokes going round sideways on bikes with no brakes. The now derelict Smallmead track in Reading has a vocal support of about six people whom, whenever there is a local development up for debate, throw the 'bring back Speedway' hat into the ring. Local councillors then have to waste their time justifying why speedway died on its arse, because (unfortunately) nobody went to watch it. I was always a fan, but could see its death coming thirty years ago.

The latest suggestion to bring back speedway was in the grounds of the now disused Reading Gaol, former home of Oscar Wilde. Totally bonkers, and completely council. Unless there's a market for repressed homosexual motorsport fans who like watching from a cell window? Can't see Sky snapping it up, not even Eurosport would touch that one.

Edited by PurpleTurtle on Thursday 25th August 10:36