Appalling Flatulence
Discussion
Get this, pumps as chemical warfare...
And it had to be in Brisbane!
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC11219...
I was actually looking for a figure for fart speed, I read 7mph once but that seemed pathetic.
Soooo, here's an experiment, stating speed.. and lift!
https://www.dedoimedo.com/physics/lift-fart.html
Enjoy
And it had to be in Brisbane!
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC11219...
I was actually looking for a figure for fart speed, I read 7mph once but that seemed pathetic.
Soooo, here's an experiment, stating speed.. and lift!
https://www.dedoimedo.com/physics/lift-fart.html
Enjoy
Edited by davhill on Sunday 17th December 20:32
DuncanM said:
FlyingMeeces said:
csd19 said:
bucks said:
Time for this thread to return, I was reminded of it in the Juvenile Things thread
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Lifted from there are it belongs in here:
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Lifted from there are it belongs in here:
That's brilliant, sitting here trying to read it out to the missus, tears rolling down my cheeks and I can't breathe with the laughter...
I am sat here literally crying with laughter.
Outstanding.
As the season for over indulgence and brussels sprouts is nearly upon us, I am sure a few updates to this thread will be brewing as I type. I caught up with the latter part of it some days ago whilst waiting in a particularly quiet area of Oslo airport. As a cereal farter, for as long as I can remember, the subject matter is very close to home and I was killing myself whilst not laughing outwardly. Not easy to do and was in tears of laughter and some pain due to the stifling.
It reminded me of some eccentric habits though.
I have been told that I frequently let rip whilst sleeping and then proceed to giggle like a schoolgirl afterwards. When told about this next morning, it just makes me laugh even more. On occasions, in my waking hours, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification and some added drama, not that it is needed. Is this normal behavior, I wonder? The whole subject matter and where I was, also got me wondering about if the Norwegians, or other nations for that matter, would find this whole topic funny at all? Maybe it is a British thing?
Some of the tales of rectal releases in this thread are just hilarious and so eloquently written. I can't compete in that way but my mind is drawn to one particular day when my backside was like an anal aerosol.
Many years ago when at Uni, I had just returned from a very unhealthy lads holiday to Corfu. Next day I was at work doing my summer job at M & S in Aberdeen. A major part of my job was spent in the large fresh food and produce fridges, making up food orders for the sales floor. On this day my guts were severely gurgling and noxious Greek gases were being spewed in all directions from my volcanic eruptions. It was absolutely ghastly and relentless and the colonic commotion went on for some hours. The fridges were stinking from my rectal raspberrys and my fellow workmates in a state of shock. Perhaps 1or 2 were slightly impressed?! Am quite sure the fresh produce was prematurely wilting that day, from the deluge of splifer seepage. I believe the low ambient temperatures in said fridges allowed the gases to reach a kind of dew point and then they hung in the cold dense air, suspended in time and clinging to anything in the blast zone. It became known as the day of the Greek fart and was mentioned frequently afterwards, much to everyone's hilarity.
It reminded me of some eccentric habits though.
I have been told that I frequently let rip whilst sleeping and then proceed to giggle like a schoolgirl afterwards. When told about this next morning, it just makes me laugh even more. On occasions, in my waking hours, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification and some added drama, not that it is needed. Is this normal behavior, I wonder? The whole subject matter and where I was, also got me wondering about if the Norwegians, or other nations for that matter, would find this whole topic funny at all? Maybe it is a British thing?
Some of the tales of rectal releases in this thread are just hilarious and so eloquently written. I can't compete in that way but my mind is drawn to one particular day when my backside was like an anal aerosol.
Many years ago when at Uni, I had just returned from a very unhealthy lads holiday to Corfu. Next day I was at work doing my summer job at M & S in Aberdeen. A major part of my job was spent in the large fresh food and produce fridges, making up food orders for the sales floor. On this day my guts were severely gurgling and noxious Greek gases were being spewed in all directions from my volcanic eruptions. It was absolutely ghastly and relentless and the colonic commotion went on for some hours. The fridges were stinking from my rectal raspberrys and my fellow workmates in a state of shock. Perhaps 1or 2 were slightly impressed?! Am quite sure the fresh produce was prematurely wilting that day, from the deluge of splifer seepage. I believe the low ambient temperatures in said fridges allowed the gases to reach a kind of dew point and then they hung in the cold dense air, suspended in time and clinging to anything in the blast zone. It became known as the day of the Greek fart and was mentioned frequently afterwards, much to everyone's hilarity.
Edited by el romeral on Saturday 23 December 22:09
Edited by el romeral on Saturday 23 December 22:10
el romeral said:
As the season for over indulgence and brussels sprouts is nearly upon us, I am sure a few updates to this thread will be brewing as I type. I caught up with the latter part of it some days ago whilst waiting in a particularly quiet area of Oslo airport. As a cereal farter, for as long as I can remember, the subject matter is very close to home and I was killing myself whilst not laughing outwardly. Not easy to do and was in tears of laughter and some pain due to the stifling.
It reminded me of some eccentric habits though.
I have been told that I frequently let rip whilst sleeping and then proceed to giggle like a schoolgirl afterwards. When told about this next morning, it just makes me laugh even more. On occasions, in my waking hours, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification and some added drama, not that it is needed. Is this normal behavior, I wonder? The whole subject matter and where I was, also got me wondering about if the Norwegians, or other nations for that matter, would find this whole topic funny at all? Maybe it is a British thing?
Some of the tales of rectal releases in this thread are just hilarious and so eloquently written. I can't compete in that way but my mind is drawn to one particular day when my backside was like an anal aerosol.
Many years ago when at Uni, I had just returned from a very unhealthy lads holiday to Corfu. Next day I was at work doing my summer job at M & S in Aberdeen. A major part of my job was spent in the large fresh food and produce fridges, making up food orders for the sales floor. On this day my guts were severely gurgling and noxious Greek gases were being spewed in all directions from my volcanic eruptions. It was absolutely ghastly and relentless and the colonic commotion went on for some hours. The fridges were stinking from my rectal raspberrys and my fellow workmates in a state of shock. Perhaps 1or 2 were slightly impressed?! Am quite sure the fresh produce was prematurely wilting that day, from the deluge of splifer seepage. I believe the low ambient temperatures in said fridges allowed the gases to reach a kind of dew point and then they hung in the cold dense air, suspended in time and clinging to anything in the blast zone. It became known as the day of the Greek fart and was mentioned frequently afterwards, much to everyone's hilarity.
Co-co pops?It reminded me of some eccentric habits though.
I have been told that I frequently let rip whilst sleeping and then proceed to giggle like a schoolgirl afterwards. When told about this next morning, it just makes me laugh even more. On occasions, in my waking hours, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification and some added drama, not that it is needed. Is this normal behavior, I wonder? The whole subject matter and where I was, also got me wondering about if the Norwegians, or other nations for that matter, would find this whole topic funny at all? Maybe it is a British thing?
Some of the tales of rectal releases in this thread are just hilarious and so eloquently written. I can't compete in that way but my mind is drawn to one particular day when my backside was like an anal aerosol.
Many years ago when at Uni, I had just returned from a very unhealthy lads holiday to Corfu. Next day I was at work doing my summer job at M & S in Aberdeen. A major part of my job was spent in the large fresh food and produce fridges, making up food orders for the sales floor. On this day my guts were severely gurgling and noxious Greek gases were being spewed in all directions from my volcanic eruptions. It was absolutely ghastly and relentless and the colonic commotion went on for some hours. The fridges were stinking from my rectal raspberrys and my fellow workmates in a state of shock. Perhaps 1or 2 were slightly impressed?! Am quite sure the fresh produce was prematurely wilting that day, from the deluge of splifer seepage. I believe the low ambient temperatures in said fridges allowed the gases to reach a kind of dew point and then they hung in the cold dense air, suspended in time and clinging to anything in the blast zone. It became known as the day of the Greek fart and was mentioned frequently afterwards, much to everyone's hilarity.
Edited by el romeral on Saturday 23 December 22:09
Edited by el romeral on Saturday 23 December 22:10
Catweazle said:
el romeral said:
As the season for over indulgence and brussels sprouts is nearly upon us, I am sure a few updates to this thread will be brewing as I type. I caught up with the latter part of it some days ago whilst waiting in a particularly quiet area of Oslo airport. As a cereal farter, for as long as I can remember, the subject matter is very close to home and I was killing myself whilst not laughing outwardly. Not easy to do and was in tears of laughter and some pain due to the stifling.
It reminded me of some eccentric habits though.
I have been told that I frequently let rip whilst sleeping and then proceed to giggle like a schoolgirl afterwards. When told about this next morning, it just makes me laugh even more. On occasions, in my waking hours, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification and some added drama, not that it is needed. Is this normal behavior, I wonder? The whole subject matter and where I was, also got me wondering about if the Norwegians, or other nations for that matter, would find this whole topic funny at all? Maybe it is a British thing?
Some of the tales of rectal releases in this thread are just hilarious and so eloquently written. I can't compete in that way but my mind is drawn to one particular day when my backside was like an anal aerosol.
Many years ago when at Uni, I had just returned from a very unhealthy lads holiday to Corfu. Next day I was at work doing my summer job at M & S in Aberdeen. A major part of my job was spent in the large fresh food and produce fridges, making up food orders for the sales floor. On this day my guts were severely gurgling and noxious Greek gases were being spewed in all directions from my volcanic eruptions. It was absolutely ghastly and relentless and the colonic commotion went on for some hours. The fridges were stinking from my rectal raspberrys and my fellow workmates in a state of shock. Perhaps 1or 2 were slightly impressed?! Am quite sure the fresh produce was prematurely wilting that day, from the deluge of splifer seepage. I believe the low ambient temperatures in said fridges allowed the gases to reach a kind of dew point and then they hung in the cold dense air, suspended in time and clinging to anything in the blast zone. It became known as the day of the Greek fart and was mentioned frequently afterwards, much to everyone's hilarity.
Co-co pops?It reminded me of some eccentric habits though.
I have been told that I frequently let rip whilst sleeping and then proceed to giggle like a schoolgirl afterwards. When told about this next morning, it just makes me laugh even more. On occasions, in my waking hours, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification and some added drama, not that it is needed. Is this normal behavior, I wonder? The whole subject matter and where I was, also got me wondering about if the Norwegians, or other nations for that matter, would find this whole topic funny at all? Maybe it is a British thing?
Some of the tales of rectal releases in this thread are just hilarious and so eloquently written. I can't compete in that way but my mind is drawn to one particular day when my backside was like an anal aerosol.
Many years ago when at Uni, I had just returned from a very unhealthy lads holiday to Corfu. Next day I was at work doing my summer job at M & S in Aberdeen. A major part of my job was spent in the large fresh food and produce fridges, making up food orders for the sales floor. On this day my guts were severely gurgling and noxious Greek gases were being spewed in all directions from my volcanic eruptions. It was absolutely ghastly and relentless and the colonic commotion went on for some hours. The fridges were stinking from my rectal raspberrys and my fellow workmates in a state of shock. Perhaps 1or 2 were slightly impressed?! Am quite sure the fresh produce was prematurely wilting that day, from the deluge of splifer seepage. I believe the low ambient temperatures in said fridges allowed the gases to reach a kind of dew point and then they hung in the cold dense air, suspended in time and clinging to anything in the blast zone. It became known as the day of the Greek fart and was mentioned frequently afterwards, much to everyone's hilarity.
Edited by el romeral on Saturday 23 December 22:09
Edited by el romeral on Saturday 23 December 22:10
I remember when younger going in the chippy near my parents house, was stood at the front and where there was a flat bit for the counter so they could get in and out they kept the local paper and I always read it when I went in.
I went in and ordered my food, then the lady went in the back and I read the paper, I was alone and felt a fart brewing, being alone I thought I would just let rip, and as I did I aside my cheek up, it came out loud and forceful, I may have added a little triumphant "get in" or similar, I was worried I had alerted the owner in the back such was the strident trumpetry, may have even done a little post trump jig.
Anyway, carried on with the paper and noticed the door was open, it was warm out and they would often wedge it open when it was warm, I then was a little concerned and turned round to check I was indeed alone, I was apart from the startled couple clutching menus sat maybe five feet directly behind me who must have though I had aimed it at them and the cheek raise etc was for their benefit, it must have parted their hair.
I jumped out of my skin when I realised they were there, they must have crept in and sat down to chose their food silently, them I seemingly flatulate at them, I go bright red and keep my eyes forward, the food seemingly takes an age to come and I pay sweat beading on my face, I lay and get my change, then turn to scuttle out, as I turn another one squeaks out involuntarily as a parting shot, not all in one go but with each step.
I hope it didn't put them off their food !
I went in and ordered my food, then the lady went in the back and I read the paper, I was alone and felt a fart brewing, being alone I thought I would just let rip, and as I did I aside my cheek up, it came out loud and forceful, I may have added a little triumphant "get in" or similar, I was worried I had alerted the owner in the back such was the strident trumpetry, may have even done a little post trump jig.
Anyway, carried on with the paper and noticed the door was open, it was warm out and they would often wedge it open when it was warm, I then was a little concerned and turned round to check I was indeed alone, I was apart from the startled couple clutching menus sat maybe five feet directly behind me who must have though I had aimed it at them and the cheek raise etc was for their benefit, it must have parted their hair.
I jumped out of my skin when I realised they were there, they must have crept in and sat down to chose their food silently, them I seemingly flatulate at them, I go bright red and keep my eyes forward, the food seemingly takes an age to come and I pay sweat beading on my face, I lay and get my change, then turn to scuttle out, as I turn another one squeaks out involuntarily as a parting shot, not all in one go but with each step.
I hope it didn't put them off their food !
The Moose said:
Catweazle said:
el romeral said:
As a cereal farter, for as long as I can remember, the subject matter is very close to home and I was killing myself whilst not laughing outwardly. Not easy to do and was in tears of laughter and some pain due to the stifling.
On occasions, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification* and some added drama.
Co-co pops?On occasions, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification* and some added drama.
* This technique is the hallmark of a professional. Metal lockers also work well as "boom boxes"
The Moose said:
Catweazle said:
el romeral said:
As the season for over indulgence and brussels sprouts is nearly upon us, I am sure a few updates to this thread will be brewing as I type. I caught up with the latter part of it some days ago whilst waiting in a particularly quiet area of Oslo airport. As a cereal farter, for as long as I can remember, the subject matter is very close to home and I was killing myself whilst not laughing outwardly. Not easy to do and was in tears of laughter and some pain due to the stifling.
It reminded me of some eccentric habits though.
I have been told that I frequently let rip whilst sleeping and then proceed to giggle like a schoolgirl afterwards. When told about this next morning, it just makes me laugh even more. On occasions, in my waking hours, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification and some added drama, not that it is needed. Is this normal behavior, I wonder? The whole subject matter and where I was, also got me wondering about if the Norwegians, or other nations for that matter, would find this whole topic funny at all? Maybe it is a British thing?
Some of the tales of rectal releases in this thread are just hilarious and so eloquently written. I can't compete in that way but my mind is drawn to one particular day when my backside was like an anal aerosol.
Many years ago when at Uni, I had just returned from a very unhealthy lads holiday to Corfu. Next day I was at work doing my summer job at M & S in Aberdeen. A major part of my job was spent in the large fresh food and produce fridges, making up food orders for the sales floor. On this day my guts were severely gurgling and noxious Greek gases were being spewed in all directions from my volcanic eruptions. It was absolutely ghastly and relentless and the colonic commotion went on for some hours. The fridges were stinking from my rectal raspberrys and my fellow workmates in a state of shock. Perhaps 1or 2 were slightly impressed?! Am quite sure the fresh produce was prematurely wilting that day, from the deluge of splifer seepage. I believe the low ambient temperatures in said fridges allowed the gases to reach a kind of dew point and then they hung in the cold dense air, suspended in time and clinging to anything in the blast zone. It became known as the day of the Greek fart and was mentioned frequently afterwards, much to everyone's hilarity.
Co-co pops?It reminded me of some eccentric habits though.
I have been told that I frequently let rip whilst sleeping and then proceed to giggle like a schoolgirl afterwards. When told about this next morning, it just makes me laugh even more. On occasions, in my waking hours, when there is the urge to unleash a bottom belch, I may find myself pressing against a wooden door to gain extra amplification and some added drama, not that it is needed. Is this normal behavior, I wonder? The whole subject matter and where I was, also got me wondering about if the Norwegians, or other nations for that matter, would find this whole topic funny at all? Maybe it is a British thing?
Some of the tales of rectal releases in this thread are just hilarious and so eloquently written. I can't compete in that way but my mind is drawn to one particular day when my backside was like an anal aerosol.
Many years ago when at Uni, I had just returned from a very unhealthy lads holiday to Corfu. Next day I was at work doing my summer job at M & S in Aberdeen. A major part of my job was spent in the large fresh food and produce fridges, making up food orders for the sales floor. On this day my guts were severely gurgling and noxious Greek gases were being spewed in all directions from my volcanic eruptions. It was absolutely ghastly and relentless and the colonic commotion went on for some hours. The fridges were stinking from my rectal raspberrys and my fellow workmates in a state of shock. Perhaps 1or 2 were slightly impressed?! Am quite sure the fresh produce was prematurely wilting that day, from the deluge of splifer seepage. I believe the low ambient temperatures in said fridges allowed the gases to reach a kind of dew point and then they hung in the cold dense air, suspended in time and clinging to anything in the blast zone. It became known as the day of the Greek fart and was mentioned frequently afterwards, much to everyone's hilarity.
Edited by el romeral on Saturday 23 December 22:09
Edited by el romeral on Saturday 23 December 22:10
I must admit to a ‘cheeky one’ earlier in Tescos. I moved away quick but a combination of the jeans delay and movement tailwind meant it followed me. A mother and teenage son hove into view so I knelt down in a faux ‘I’m looking in detail at the lower shelf’ pose, only for the position to cause a larger eruption. So I stayed put.
The son accused the mother! As I discreetly left the aisle they were still in dispute with him determined it was her, and her blaming his poor manners that are apparently just like his fathers.
The son accused the mother! As I discreetly left the aisle they were still in dispute with him determined it was her, and her blaming his poor manners that are apparently just like his fathers.
illmonkey said:
Captain Smerc said:
Shakermaker said:
My 8 week old daughter has clearly inherited my ability to drop a few deadly ones and just laugh about it... How can someone so small, and who only drinks milk all day, produce such a terrible smell?
It's in the Severe diarrhoea.
Doctor: "That's not hereditary."
Jethroe: "Well, it's in me jeans!"
V6Pushfit said:
I must admit to a ‘cheeky one’ earlier in Tescos. I moved away quick but a combination of the jeans delay and movement tailwind meant it followed me. A mother and teenage son hove into view so I knelt down in a faux ‘I’m looking in detail at the lower shelf’ pose, only for the position to cause a larger eruption. So I stayed put.
The son accused the mother! As I discreetly left the aisle they were still in dispute with him determined it was her, and her blaming his poor manners that are apparently just like his fathers.
The son accused the mother! As I discreetly left the aisle they were still in dispute with him determined it was her, and her blaming his poor manners that are apparently just like his fathers.
Captain Redbeard said:
A masterly plan, me young master
...excellently executed! Well done!Edited by AppleJuice on Wednesday 7th March 12:09
I can assure all of you this isn't just a thing for the Brits, the Dutch like a good fart as well.
Some years ago me and my teammates went away for the weekend to the Belgium Ardennes. Friday evening was spent with a lot of beer, some excellent bbq'ed meat and then more beer. Next morning, I and two mates hopped in the car to find a supermarket to restock our beer supply and get some breakfast. While going through the aisles searching for what we needed, we all let rip multiple farts. Some silent but deadly, others loud and proud, but all of them were extremely toxic. At first, no one was arround, so it wasn't such an issue. We were in the supermarket just after opening time. But as we continued, more and more locals went about their shopping. As we went to the register to pay, we passed some of the aisles we visited earlier. Looking down them, we saw some locals gagging and others giving each other suspecting looks as to who let go of such a godawful smell. We were quite proud of ourselves.
My mate (powerfully built company director) even took it upon himself to let one rip while in line at the register... the young girl behind the till didn't know what to do or where to look, she barely managed to cover her mouth and hand me te receipt
Some years ago me and my teammates went away for the weekend to the Belgium Ardennes. Friday evening was spent with a lot of beer, some excellent bbq'ed meat and then more beer. Next morning, I and two mates hopped in the car to find a supermarket to restock our beer supply and get some breakfast. While going through the aisles searching for what we needed, we all let rip multiple farts. Some silent but deadly, others loud and proud, but all of them were extremely toxic. At first, no one was arround, so it wasn't such an issue. We were in the supermarket just after opening time. But as we continued, more and more locals went about their shopping. As we went to the register to pay, we passed some of the aisles we visited earlier. Looking down them, we saw some locals gagging and others giving each other suspecting looks as to who let go of such a godawful smell. We were quite proud of ourselves.
My mate (powerfully built company director) even took it upon himself to let one rip while in line at the register... the young girl behind the till didn't know what to do or where to look, she barely managed to cover her mouth and hand me te receipt
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