Anyone else's wife faff about un-necessarily?
Discussion
I don't have a wife, I have a girlfriend, but I feel your pain. The amount of time they can spend faffing around doing seemingly nothing beggars belief. I've lost count of the amount of times I've lost the will to set off somewhere because "we need to leave at 10" has turned into 11:30 while she busied herself doing nothing!
In the 1970's I had a mate who just would not tolerate his mrs not being ready to go when he was, if she wasn't ready he just went and on at least two occasions I saw her standing outside the house in tears and ranting at what a b*****d he was and no he didn't come back to collect her either!
Haydn, where are you now?
Haydn, where are you now?
They all do it.
This morning we're going for a walk on the beach I pack the car, pack a bag with supplies for the kids, all the coats in the car, both kids in the car, car started ... is she coming for this walk with us? God knows what's keeping her I've packed everything (I still have no idea what she was doing) faffing!
This morning we're going for a walk on the beach I pack the car, pack a bag with supplies for the kids, all the coats in the car, both kids in the car, car started ... is she coming for this walk with us? God knows what's keeping her I've packed everything (I still have no idea what she was doing) faffing!
Perik Omo said:
In the 1970's I had a mate who just would not tolerate his mrs not being ready to go when he was, if she wasn't ready he just went and on at least two occasions I saw her standing outside the house in tears and ranting at what a b*****d he was and no he didn't come back to collect her either!
Haydn, where are you now?
Many years ago I started telling my wife that the car would leave at whatever time was agreed, and that she was either in it, or not in it, but it would still leave. Haydn, where are you now?
And several times I did drive off on my own.
How on gods green earth a woman could be so consistently late for an occasion, any occasion, so reliably and exactingly late EVERY TIME, is simply beyond me.
My blood used to boil at how it can POSSIBLY take three hours to shower and put clothes on!! And why does she need to change clothes three times, EVERY TIME, before deciding on what to wear????
And when she asks me if something looks okay, and I eagerly agree it looks great, and she will go and change again....
The notion of spontaneously jumping in the car and going somewhere is alien, because that will involve five or six hours of getting ready, planning the trip, deciding what to wear, AND what spare clothes to take, sorting a little bag of medical stuff, Imodium, aspirin, AND what snacks and drinks to take.....
She insults me because I can be ready, showered, shaved, changed and ready to leave, in less than 20 minutes!
MitchT said:
Mound Dawg said:
GoBig said:
Mine always has to go upstairs whenever we are just about to go out of the door; god knows what for.
Oh God! Yes, that too!
Mine has learnt that if she tells me to do loads of different stuff 5 minutes before she's ready, she can then blame me when she's waiting at the door for me to finish said tasks.
Despite the telling of tasks usually being announced 10 minutes after we were meant to be out.
My OH's variant on this is the Asymptotic Drink Finishing Syndrome.
If I am drinking a pint in a pub - especially if we intend to leave after said pint - when I get to the last inch or so, I neck it and we leave.
If she is approaching the end of her drink, the rate at which she drinks decreases asymptotically. If I remember my university maths correctly, that means the rate decreases the closer to empty the glass is, so it never actually gets quite finished.
In practice what happens is I have to bully her into finishing, or I just give up and get another drink, which means then she does, and we end up smashed.
Back in the days of smoking in pubs, she'd get within an inch of finishing a pint, I'd down mine, THEN she'd decide it was time to light a cigarette up and sit and smoke it. Slowly, obviously.
If I am drinking a pint in a pub - especially if we intend to leave after said pint - when I get to the last inch or so, I neck it and we leave.
If she is approaching the end of her drink, the rate at which she drinks decreases asymptotically. If I remember my university maths correctly, that means the rate decreases the closer to empty the glass is, so it never actually gets quite finished.
In practice what happens is I have to bully her into finishing, or I just give up and get another drink, which means then she does, and we end up smashed.
Back in the days of smoking in pubs, she'd get within an inch of finishing a pint, I'd down mine, THEN she'd decide it was time to light a cigarette up and sit and smoke it. Slowly, obviously.
We normally run to MRS400s time table of a weekend, but seeing as I drive everywhere then I make sure the cars ready etc.
MRS: be ready to leave at 1030.
ME: got ya.
1030 im at the door coat on and everything I need in hand or already in the car.
Her shes up stairs f**kin about.
They really are a different breed.
MRS: be ready to leave at 1030.
ME: got ya.
1030 im at the door coat on and everything I need in hand or already in the car.
Her shes up stairs f**kin about.
They really are a different breed.
We do parkrun every Saturday morning.
Every Saturday follows the same pattern. She gets up at 7am, I get up at 7.15am. Somehow, she still manages to get in my way in the kitchen when I want to toast some teacakes or crumpets, despite having a 15 minute head start on me.
She'll then shower first, followed by me... so you'd expect her to be ready to leave first. But she never is.
Just to really piss me off, she'll declare at 7.55am she's 'ready when you are' - only to then hold me up for another few minutes whilst she cocks about deciding which trainers to wear and putting them on in the hall. With me stood around like a spare prick at a wife swapping party.
Every Saturday follows the same pattern. She gets up at 7am, I get up at 7.15am. Somehow, she still manages to get in my way in the kitchen when I want to toast some teacakes or crumpets, despite having a 15 minute head start on me.
She'll then shower first, followed by me... so you'd expect her to be ready to leave first. But she never is.
Just to really piss me off, she'll declare at 7.55am she's 'ready when you are' - only to then hold me up for another few minutes whilst she cocks about deciding which trainers to wear and putting them on in the hall. With me stood around like a spare prick at a wife swapping party.
Mound Dawg said:
You know, they have one small task but take forever mucking about?
Case Study 1.
We go to shopping, nice day so the roof is down. Park the car, put the roof up, get out, open the boot, remove shopping bags, close boot, walk to kerb.
She's still in the sodding car. And because it has keyless entry and I've walked out of range it's locked her in! All she had to do is pick up her handbag and get out.
Mines pretty good apart from this. Every. Single. Time. I'll be driving, park up, get out, door shut, in boot, stuff out of boot, close boot then have to stand there waiting for her to get out. All she has to do is get out! How can that be, just get out!Case Study 1.
We go to shopping, nice day so the roof is down. Park the car, put the roof up, get out, open the boot, remove shopping bags, close boot, walk to kerb.
She's still in the sodding car. And because it has keyless entry and I've walked out of range it's locked her in! All she had to do is pick up her handbag and get out.
Trabi601 said:
Just to really piss me off, she'll declare at 7.55am she's 'ready when you are' - only to then hold me up for another few minutes whilst she cocks about deciding which trainers to wear and putting them on in the hall. With me stood around like a spare prick at a wife swapping party.
There is another one my OH does.I'll get ready to go out at the appointed hour and stand in my coat by the front door. She will fanny about in the traditional manner, until I give up and collapse on the sofa.
At which point she will appear and say "well I'm ready!"
Perik Omo said:
In the 1970's I had a mate who just would not tolerate his mrs not being ready to go when he was, if she wasn't ready he just went and on at least two occasions I saw her standing outside the house in tears and ranting at what a b*****d he was and no he didn't come back to collect her either!
Haydn, where are you now?
At a guess I would say separated/divorced, living in a bed-sit eating cup-a-soup and cornflakes whilst taking the kids for a Big Mac on Saturdays.Haydn, where are you now?
Or, blissfully happy but now waiting for the wife however long she takes.
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