Anyone else's wife faff about un-necessarily?
Discussion
J4CKO said:
Anyone else get moaned at for using the loo ?
Go in for my second sit down of the day, and she makes a song and dance that I am in there, which is weird as she moans if I go in the garden even more....
"You have already been today", didn't know it was rationed ? What can I say, some days I am on a two stop strategy, then moans that it smells, well yep guilty, st stinks, what can you do ? As a bloke we have esoteric diets and cant do something that smells like musty lavender once a week, and she is never around when I do one that is largely odourless which I personally find quite disturbing, if your eyes arent burning a little then there is something wrong.
Weirdest bit is we have another toilet ? But it has to be that one, I avoid the downstairs one as I find my efforts tend to find dry land rather than a water landing due to the design of the pan, the builder who fitted it expressed his scepticism about that eventuality and did not hold back on the description, but apparently not a problem for her.
But, still has to use the recently vacated one, one to which I would personally have not returned for at least an hour and then only with a Canary and a Geiger counter, and I "Dealt it".
Have you tried lighting a match (or several depending on the seriousness of the crime) before leaving the bog?Go in for my second sit down of the day, and she makes a song and dance that I am in there, which is weird as she moans if I go in the garden even more....
"You have already been today", didn't know it was rationed ? What can I say, some days I am on a two stop strategy, then moans that it smells, well yep guilty, st stinks, what can you do ? As a bloke we have esoteric diets and cant do something that smells like musty lavender once a week, and she is never around when I do one that is largely odourless which I personally find quite disturbing, if your eyes arent burning a little then there is something wrong.
Weirdest bit is we have another toilet ? But it has to be that one, I avoid the downstairs one as I find my efforts tend to find dry land rather than a water landing due to the design of the pan, the builder who fitted it expressed his scepticism about that eventuality and did not hold back on the description, but apparently not a problem for her.
But, still has to use the recently vacated one, one to which I would personally have not returned for at least an hour and then only with a Canary and a Geiger counter, and I "Dealt it".
We have a large box of those cooks matches in each loo for dealing with odour related fallout and its surprisingly effective a lot of the time.
It's surprising how often the wife uses more than 1 match (they get burned, then rinsed with water then left on the sink to ensure there's no danger of setting the bin on fire )
5 In a Row said:
J4CKO said:
Anyone else get moaned at for using the loo ?
Go in for my second sit down of the day, and she makes a song and dance that I am in there, which is weird as she moans if I go in the garden even more....
"You have already been today", didn't know it was rationed ? What can I say, some days I am on a two stop strategy, then moans that it smells, well yep guilty, st stinks, what can you do ? As a bloke we have esoteric diets and cant do something that smells like musty lavender once a week, and she is never around when I do one that is largely odourless which I personally find quite disturbing, if your eyes arent burning a little then there is something wrong.
Weirdest bit is we have another toilet ? But it has to be that one, I avoid the downstairs one as I find my efforts tend to find dry land rather than a water landing due to the design of the pan, the builder who fitted it expressed his scepticism about that eventuality and did not hold back on the description, but apparently not a problem for her.
But, still has to use the recently vacated one, one to which I would personally have not returned for at least an hour and then only with a Canary and a Geiger counter, and I "Dealt it".
Have you tried lighting a match (or several depending on the seriousness of the crime) before leaving the bog?Go in for my second sit down of the day, and she makes a song and dance that I am in there, which is weird as she moans if I go in the garden even more....
"You have already been today", didn't know it was rationed ? What can I say, some days I am on a two stop strategy, then moans that it smells, well yep guilty, st stinks, what can you do ? As a bloke we have esoteric diets and cant do something that smells like musty lavender once a week, and she is never around when I do one that is largely odourless which I personally find quite disturbing, if your eyes arent burning a little then there is something wrong.
Weirdest bit is we have another toilet ? But it has to be that one, I avoid the downstairs one as I find my efforts tend to find dry land rather than a water landing due to the design of the pan, the builder who fitted it expressed his scepticism about that eventuality and did not hold back on the description, but apparently not a problem for her.
But, still has to use the recently vacated one, one to which I would personally have not returned for at least an hour and then only with a Canary and a Geiger counter, and I "Dealt it".
We have a large box of those cooks matches in each loo for dealing with odour related fallout and its surprisingly effective a lot of the time.
It's surprising how often the wife uses more than 1 match (they get burned, then rinsed with water then left on the sink to ensure there's no danger of setting the bin on fire )
AstonZagato said:
I met a chap who claimed he wasn't allowed to "drop the kids of at the pool" at home - his wife had forbidden it. Therefore, he would drive each day across London to the Connaught or another 5 star hotel and use their loos for the purpose. The chap was quite eccentric so It could even have been true.
Well, I suppose it's better than having to deal with junkies, cottagers, and the stench of a regular public lav!My wife seems to be addicted to the smell of my dumps, EVERY time I'm in the loo she has to have a wee NOW! We have another loo upstairs which she can't manage to get to, but I CBA to walk upstairs either, so she can wait
AstonZagato said:
I met a chap who claimed he wasn't allowed to "drop the kids of at the pool" at home - his wife had forbidden it. Therefore, he would drive each day across London to the Connaught or another 5 star hotel and use their loos for the purpose. The chap was quite eccentric so It could even have been true.
I had an ex-girlfriend who was like that.With my obstreperous digestive system and tendency to find it amusing it really wasn’t meant to be
SWMBO recently developed a sudden desire for a new kitchen, and to replace the existing conservatory. Was puzzled for a while about this, when, during her regular 2-hour daily messenger chat with her lifelong friend in the Philippines, she let slip she was planning to visit us next year. Hence the demise of the kitchen and conservatory as no longer habitable.
The Wookie said:
AstonZagato said:
I met a chap who claimed he wasn't allowed to "drop the kids of at the pool" at home - his wife had forbidden it. Therefore, he would drive each day across London to the Connaught or another 5 star hotel and use their loos for the purpose. The chap was quite eccentric so It could even have been true.
I had an ex-girlfriend who was like that.With my obstreperous digestive system and tendency to find it amusing it really wasn’t meant to be
According to various female members of my extended family.
All the blokes think "I'm getting paid to st"
Or on the words of another contractor
"Pit, if you ain't doing a 10 pound st, your ain't on a high enough hourly rate"
Multitasking... I'll just let that sink in so the shudders and whincing can cease.
Multitasking. Why does seemingly every women brag that they can multitask? I've never seen any evidence of this ability, even when told that they're doing it right that second in front of my very eyes.
I mean, I've seen people struggle to do two things at once, but who doesn't do that? It's not a special skill, it's a simple human failing that occasionally leads to fk-ups and injuries, and is rarely much quicker than doing the two things sequentially.
When really pushed on the matter, what they're really bragging about is metaphorical plate spinning, again something that almost everyone has to do... But "spinning plates" isn't the work you actually want to achieve, it's just a side-effect. No-one should derive satisfaction from having five half-finished jobs and nothing actually finished!
As the great Ron Swanson said, "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
Multitasking. Why does seemingly every women brag that they can multitask? I've never seen any evidence of this ability, even when told that they're doing it right that second in front of my very eyes.
I mean, I've seen people struggle to do two things at once, but who doesn't do that? It's not a special skill, it's a simple human failing that occasionally leads to fk-ups and injuries, and is rarely much quicker than doing the two things sequentially.
When really pushed on the matter, what they're really bragging about is metaphorical plate spinning, again something that almost everyone has to do... But "spinning plates" isn't the work you actually want to achieve, it's just a side-effect. No-one should derive satisfaction from having five half-finished jobs and nothing actually finished!
As the great Ron Swanson said, "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
donkmeister said:
Multitasking... I'll just let that sink in so the shudders and whincing can cease.
Multitasking. Why does seemingly every women brag that they can multitask? I've never seen any evidence of this ability, even when told that they're doing it right that second in front of my very eyes.
I mean, I've seen people struggle to do two things at once, but who doesn't do that? It's not a special skill, it's a simple human failing that occasionally leads to fk-ups and injuries, and is rarely much quicker than doing the two things sequentially.
When really pushed on the matter, what they're really bragging about is metaphorical plate spinning, again something that almost everyone has to do... But "spinning plates" isn't the work you actually want to achieve, it's just a side-effect. No-one should derive satisfaction from having five half-finished jobs and nothing actually finished!
As the great Ron Swanson said, "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
It’s not multitasking, it’s the inability to concentrate on finishing the task at hand. What they’re really doing is more than one thing half arsed.Multitasking. Why does seemingly every women brag that they can multitask? I've never seen any evidence of this ability, even when told that they're doing it right that second in front of my very eyes.
I mean, I've seen people struggle to do two things at once, but who doesn't do that? It's not a special skill, it's a simple human failing that occasionally leads to fk-ups and injuries, and is rarely much quicker than doing the two things sequentially.
When really pushed on the matter, what they're really bragging about is metaphorical plate spinning, again something that almost everyone has to do... But "spinning plates" isn't the work you actually want to achieve, it's just a side-effect. No-one should derive satisfaction from having five half-finished jobs and nothing actually finished!
As the great Ron Swanson said, "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
Antony Moxey said:
donkmeister said:
Multitasking... I'll just let that sink in so the shudders and whincing can cease.
Multitasking. Why does seemingly every women brag that they can multitask? I've never seen any evidence of this ability, even when told that they're doing it right that second in front of my very eyes.
I mean, I've seen people struggle to do two things at once, but who doesn't do that? It's not a special skill, it's a simple human failing that occasionally leads to fk-ups and injuries, and is rarely much quicker than doing the two things sequentially.
When really pushed on the matter, what they're really bragging about is metaphorical plate spinning, again something that almost everyone has to do... But "spinning plates" isn't the work you actually want to achieve, it's just a side-effect. No-one should derive satisfaction from having five half-finished jobs and nothing actually finished!
As the great Ron Swanson said, "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
It’s not multitasking, it’s the inability to concentrate on finishing the task at hand. What they’re really doing is more than one thing half arsed.Multitasking. Why does seemingly every women brag that they can multitask? I've never seen any evidence of this ability, even when told that they're doing it right that second in front of my very eyes.
I mean, I've seen people struggle to do two things at once, but who doesn't do that? It's not a special skill, it's a simple human failing that occasionally leads to fk-ups and injuries, and is rarely much quicker than doing the two things sequentially.
When really pushed on the matter, what they're really bragging about is metaphorical plate spinning, again something that almost everyone has to do... But "spinning plates" isn't the work you actually want to achieve, it's just a side-effect. No-one should derive satisfaction from having five half-finished jobs and nothing actually finished!
As the great Ron Swanson said, "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
HTP99 said:
Antony Moxey said:
donkmeister said:
Multitasking... I'll just let that sink in so the shudders and whincing can cease.
Multitasking. Why does seemingly every women brag that they can multitask? I've never seen any evidence of this ability, even when told that they're doing it right that second in front of my very eyes.
I mean, I've seen people struggle to do two things at once, but who doesn't do that? It's not a special skill, it's a simple human failing that occasionally leads to fk-ups and injuries, and is rarely much quicker than doing the two things sequentially.
When really pushed on the matter, what they're really bragging about is metaphorical plate spinning, again something that almost everyone has to do... But "spinning plates" isn't the work you actually want to achieve, it's just a side-effect. No-one should derive satisfaction from having five half-finished jobs and nothing actually finished!
As the great Ron Swanson said, "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
It’s not multitasking, it’s the inability to concentrate on finishing the task at hand. What they’re really doing is more than one thing half arsed.Multitasking. Why does seemingly every women brag that they can multitask? I've never seen any evidence of this ability, even when told that they're doing it right that second in front of my very eyes.
I mean, I've seen people struggle to do two things at once, but who doesn't do that? It's not a special skill, it's a simple human failing that occasionally leads to fk-ups and injuries, and is rarely much quicker than doing the two things sequentially.
When really pushed on the matter, what they're really bragging about is metaphorical plate spinning, again something that almost everyone has to do... But "spinning plates" isn't the work you actually want to achieve, it's just a side-effect. No-one should derive satisfaction from having five half-finished jobs and nothing actually finished!
As the great Ron Swanson said, "Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
This morning was fun... We've both got the day off, so the plan was that Mrs D was to take Mini D for a playdate while I got some DIY jobs done in our hallway, that cannot be safely done with a toddler running around.
It's the birthday of the toddler friend, so obviously a card and present are necessary. But the card I bought last week in anticipation (Peppa Pig, with a badge) will not go down well with the recipient as she's into folk music and quinoa, and one present is apparently insufficient generosity.
So instead of leaving at 10:00 as planned so I can do DIY, she went shopping and I watched Mini D, unable to DIY but I got Mini D ready.
After 11:30, she's finally ready to leave. Except she's just announced the kid has lunch at 12, immediately followed by a nap. They live half an hour away. So... no playdate, and I am going to have to be very careful about which jobs I do and how I do them.
I really don't understand the mindset. Time is finite, you cut your cloth depending on how much you have. You don't go to the flipping shops. The knock-on effects are disregarded also - if I have a 2 hour job that cannot be left unfinished, I can't just do it in four half hour sessions over a week, I still need 2 hours. So the job just doesn't get done today. But it needs to be done so I can stop thinking about it.
It's the birthday of the toddler friend, so obviously a card and present are necessary. But the card I bought last week in anticipation (Peppa Pig, with a badge) will not go down well with the recipient as she's into folk music and quinoa, and one present is apparently insufficient generosity.
So instead of leaving at 10:00 as planned so I can do DIY, she went shopping and I watched Mini D, unable to DIY but I got Mini D ready.
After 11:30, she's finally ready to leave. Except she's just announced the kid has lunch at 12, immediately followed by a nap. They live half an hour away. So... no playdate, and I am going to have to be very careful about which jobs I do and how I do them.
I really don't understand the mindset. Time is finite, you cut your cloth depending on how much you have. You don't go to the flipping shops. The knock-on effects are disregarded also - if I have a 2 hour job that cannot be left unfinished, I can't just do it in four half hour sessions over a week, I still need 2 hours. So the job just doesn't get done today. But it needs to be done so I can stop thinking about it.
Yep, the dreaded 'shops'
It's like a magnetic attraction for Women. I counted the other week and my Wife went to the 'shops' 3 times in one day and then it got to 5pm and she announced 'can you sort the Child out (I'd been at work all day) "I need to go pick a parcel up".
The same shop she'd passed at least twice already.
Regarding the presents too. Women see the present that they're giving as a reflection on their values, wealth, love and dedication to someone else's fking child. I couldn't give a st what that ungrateful child receives at all.
It's like a magnetic attraction for Women. I counted the other week and my Wife went to the 'shops' 3 times in one day and then it got to 5pm and she announced 'can you sort the Child out (I'd been at work all day) "I need to go pick a parcel up".
The same shop she'd passed at least twice already.
Regarding the presents too. Women see the present that they're giving as a reflection on their values, wealth, love and dedication to someone else's fking child. I couldn't give a st what that ungrateful child receives at all.
RayDonovan said:
Regarding the presents too. Women see the present that they're giving as a reflection on their values, wealth, love and dedication to someone else's fking child. I couldn't give a st what that ungrateful child receives at all.
Some blokes are just as bad... I'm going round to my mates tonight for a BBQ, in aid of his new girlfriends birthday. They've been going out about 6 months and i've met her 3 or 4 times. For context BBQs are not unusual for us (I'm a competition BBQ chef), so we normally have one once a month either at my place or his. He sent me a WhatsApp this morning with gift ideas for her, as I don't know her that well. How thoughtful I really wasn't planning on taking anything other than beers!
Dr Interceptor said:
Some blokes are just as bad... I'm going round to my mates tonight for a BBQ, in aid of his new girlfriends birthday. They've been going out about 6 months and i've met her 3 or 4 times. For context BBQs are not unusual for us (I'm a competition BBQ chef), so we normally have one once a month either at my place or his.
He sent me a WhatsApp this morning with gift ideas for her, as I don't know her that well. How thoughtful I really wasn't planning on taking anything other than beers!
Would it be too forward to ask if you need a new friend for recipe testing purposes? He sent me a WhatsApp this morning with gift ideas for her, as I don't know her that well. How thoughtful I really wasn't planning on taking anything other than beers!
Dr Interceptor said:
RayDonovan said:
Regarding the presents too. Women see the present that they're giving as a reflection on their values, wealth, love and dedication to someone else's fking child. I couldn't give a st what that ungrateful child receives at all.
Some blokes are just as bad... I'm going round to my mates tonight for a BBQ, in aid of his new girlfriends birthday. They've been going out about 6 months and i've met her 3 or 4 times. For context BBQs are not unusual for us (I'm a competition BBQ chef), so we normally have one once a month either at my place or his. He sent me a WhatsApp this morning with gift ideas for her, as I don't know her that well. How thoughtful I really wasn't planning on taking anything other than beers!
Take her some fking flowers. Nice flowers if she's fit, average if she's average.
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