Anyone else's wife faff about un-necessarily?

[paintman]

1. As I have frequently told my sons 'They're all the same'
2. I now know that my father wasn't as daft as I thought he was when he passed that piece of advice on to me.
3. Can't live with them & you're not supposed to kill them.
4. If it flies, floats or fornicates rent it.

[Robertj21a]

Jag_NE said:

mine faffs incessantly.

an example from today. i tend to do the majority of the cooking and she is physically unable to just enter the kitchen and eat the plate of food put in front of her. she will try and arrange drinks even though i said i will do it, faff around cutting up the kids food into smaller pieces, blowing on it even though its lukewarm, deciding certain condiments are needed etc etc. she then proceeds to eat much slower than the rest of us (after already starting last) resulting in us all being finished before her and the kids acting up because we cant get the desserts out. every time. aaarrgghhh!

getting ready drives me insane. if she was completely left to her own devices without any time constraints she could spend 90 minutes getting ready, coming downstairs with hair up, a hoody on and a pair of jeans. aaarrrgghhh!

Leave her to do the cooking etc, it makes for an entertaining time.

[MYOB]

Trabi601 said:

We do parkrun every Saturday morning.

Every Saturday follows the same pattern. She gets up at 7am, I get up at 7.15am. Somehow, she still manages to get in my way in the kitchen when I want to toast some teacakes or crumpets, despite having a 15 minute head start on me.

She'll then shower first, followed by me... so you'd expect her to be ready to leave first. But she never is.

Just to really piss me off, she'll declare at 7.55am she's 'ready when you are' - only to then hold me up for another few minutes whilst she cocks about deciding which trainers to wear and putting them on in the hall. With me stood around like a spare prick at a wife swapping party.

Shower before park run?

[Trabi601]

MYOB said:

Shower before park run?

Call me OCD or whatever, but I never go anywhere in the morning without having a shower.

We have showers at the park, too, so shower afterwards.

[MYOB]

Trabi601 said:

Call me OCD or whatever, but I never go anywhere in the morning without having a shower.

We have showers at the park, too, so shower afterwards.

Almost as bad as my wife. She baths at night time, then has a shower in the mornings!

I keep yelling her that despite the Earth's surface comprising of approx 70% of water, water is actually a precious commodity!

[skinnyman]

NinjaPower said:

She also does that classic woman thing where they get to the till to pay for something, and when the cashier asks for the payment she looks really surprised and then starts rummaging in her bag trying to find her purse, as though being asked to pay was a total shock.

All women seem to do this and it's infuriating!

I assume most blokes are like me and have their wallet in their hand upon approaching a till/payment machine.

[Trabi601]

MYOB said:

Almost as bad as my wife. She baths at night time, then has a shower in the mornings!

I keep yelling her that despite the Earth's surface comprising of approx 70% of water, water is actually a precious commodity!

I do that sometimes, too. (Well, shower in the evening and morning).

[anonymous-user]

I'm surprised no one's posted this yet

[anonymous-user]

motco said:

If I shop I enter the shop, buy what's on my list, pay and leave. Do women do this? Not on you life!

This still rings true

https://youtu.be/OrAytLkEBMU

[MYOB]

Trabi601 said:

I do that sometimes, too. (Well, shower in the evening and morning).

Yeah, I can see the need for this in some cases.

[bennyboydurham]

Car keys.

Me: when approaching car, pull key out of pocket and unlock it remotely from some distance away. Climb in.

Wife: when approaching car, keep walking. Stop at car. Heave bag onto roof/boot lid/bonnet. Cue sounds of remonstrating from person tasked with trying to keep car scratch free (me). Get glared at. Rummaging begins. More rummaging. It begins to rain. Keys found. Opens car. Heave bag into car.

I insisted that her next car had comfort access.

Edited by bennyboydurham on Monday 13th March 02:23

[slipstream 1985]

Sugar in my mums house. bought in a big bag. poured into a clear cereal container with a scoop in it. scooped into a sugar bowl with a tea spoon in it. teaspooned into your coffee.
My house. Sugar poured directly from sugar bag.

[ecsrobin]

Johnnytheboy said:

There is another one my OH does.

I'll get ready to go out at the appointed hour and stand in my coat by the front door. She will fanny about in the traditional manner, until I give up and collapse on the sofa.

At which point she will appear and say "well I'm ready!"

This is standard procedure for me these days.

[alorotom]

slipstream 1985 said:

Sugar in my mums house. bought in a big bag. poured into a clear cereal container with a scoop in it. scooped into a sugar bowl with a tea spoon in it. teaspooned into your coffee.
My house. Sugar poured directly from sugar bag.

Come again?!?

[karona]

bennyboydurham said:

Car keys.

Me: when approaching car, pull key out of pocket and unlock it remotely from some distance away. Climb in.

Wife: when approaching car, keep walking. Stop at car. Heave bag onto roof/boot lid/bonnet. Cue sounds of remonstrating from person tasked with trying to keep car scratch free (me). Get glared at. Rummaging begins. More rummaging. It begins to rain. Keys found. Opens car. Heave bag into car.

I insisted that her next car had comfort access.

Approach car, pop the locks with the fob, only she's already lifted the passenger door handle, so her door won't unlock. She lets go, I relock the car, she hears the 'thunk' so lifts the handle again, just as I press unlock
rinse and repeat.
Every. Fekkin. Time.

[Mound Dawg]

skinnyman said:

NinjaPower said:

She also does that classic woman thing where they get to the till to pay for something, and when the cashier asks for the payment she looks really surprised and then starts rummaging in her bag trying to find her purse, as though being asked to pay was a total shock.

All women seem to do this and it's infuriating!

I assume most blokes are like me and have their wallet in their hand upon approaching a till/payment machine.

The shop we were in when I brought this one up in the original post was one of those "sewing/knitting" places populated entirely by women. Which probably explains why the queue for the three open tills was a mile long even though the shop itself was empty.

[King Herald]

skinnyman said:

All women seem to do this and it's infuriating!

I assume most blokes are like me and have their wallet in their hand upon approaching a till/payment machine.

Last night, just last night, in the local Coop, the woman in front of me loaded her crap on the counter thing, cashier rang it through, piece by piece, then gave said woman the price, and the fking woman WAS VISIBLY SURPRISED AND CAUGHT UNAWARES THAT SHE HAD TO TO PAY, DUG INTO HER HANDBAG, THEN DUG INTO PURSE, PULLED OUT CARDS, SORTED THROUGH, PAID BILL???

Seriously? You're actually serious? This is the stuff of men's jokes, woman don't do this in reality, do they???

[TooMany2cvs]

karona said:

Approach car, pop the locks with the fob, only she's already lifted the passenger door handle, so her door won't unlock. She lets go, I relock the car, she hears the 'thunk' so lifts the handle again, just as I press unlock
rinse and repeat.
Every. Fekkin. Time.

Have you considered unlocking the car BEFORE she gets to it?

Or, once you've relocked it, waiting until she's NOT trying the handle before unlocking it?

[Fast and Spurious]

I know it's a joke and it's in American, but it's just so true:

Differences Between The Sexes Observed At The Drive-Up ATM Machine.

HIM:

1) Pull up to ATM
2) Insert card
3) Enter PIN number and account
4) Take cash, card and receipt

HER:

1) Pull up to ATM
2) Check makeup in rearview mirror
3) Shut off engine
4) Put keys in purse
5) Get out of car b/c you're too far from machine
6) Hunt for card in purse
7) Insert card
8) Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it
9) Enter PIN number
10) Study instructions for at least 2 minutes
11) Hit "cancel"
12) Re-enter correct PIN number
12A) Hit "cancel"
12B) Call husband to get correct PIN number
13) Check balance
14) Look for envelope
15) Look in purse for pen
16) Make out deposit slip
17) Endorse checks
18) Make deposit
19) Study instructions
20) Make cash withdrawal
21) Get in car
22) Check makeup
23) Look for keys
24) Start car
25) Check makeup
26) Start pulling away
27) STOP
28) Back up to machine
29) Get out of car
30) Take card and receipt
31) Get back in car
32) Put card in wallet
33) Put receipt in checkbook
34) Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
35) Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook
36) Check makeup
37) Put car in gear, reverse
38) Put car in drive
39) Drive away from machine
40) Travel 3 miles
41) Release parking brake

[Johnnytheboy]

King Herald said:

skinnyman said:

All women seem to do this and it's infuriating!

I assume most blokes are like me and have their wallet in their hand upon approaching a till/payment machine.

Last night, just last night, in the local Coop, the woman in front of me loaded her crap on the counter thing, cashier rang it through, piece by piece, then gave said woman the price, and the fking woman WAS VISIBLY SURPRISED AND CAUGHT UNAWARES THAT SHE HAD TO TO PAY, DUG INTO HER HANDBAG, THEN DUG INTO PURSE, PULLED OUT CARDS, SORTED THROUGH, PAID BILL???

Seriously? You're actually serious? This is the stuff of men's jokes, woman don't do this in reality, do they???

I used to work on the gate at a beach car park. We took either money or a National Trust card.

Based on a huge body of data, gender and age are both major factors in the "waiting until you reach the front of a ten car queue to get payment/card out".