Anyone else's wife faff about un-necessarily?
Discussion
I thought of this thread earlier while I was filling my car up at the petrol station: I watched woman pull up at another pump and virtually empty her boot to eventually find her purse (as it was a pay at pump). I'd pretty much filled 60 litres in the time it took and as I drove off she was only just putting the nozzle in. Glad I picked the next row from her to pull up to as I was behind at the start...
everyeggabird said:
WinstonWolf said:
And cleaning the hotel room before the cleaners arrive 
I do this. I really don't know why. Wife thinks I am a loon.Antony Moxey said:
robinessex said:
Me too. A spreadsheet with all the stuff we'll ever need, complete with isle numbers. Goes on the fridge door Monday, marked up as appropriate during the week I grab it very early Friday/Saturday, and do an Olympic shop. My record is 17 Minutes for a complete shopping trolley full.
Spreadsheets for shopping with aisle numbers? Timing shopping trips? f
k me, sounds like a faffing wife is the least of your worries.CanAm said:
robinessex said:
Was, but Lloyds stopped it.
No doubt Mrs R Essex is home by now ordering a nice shiny new phone, but did she try to solve the problem by:-1. Using the 'Find my phone' feature
2. Actually ringing it in case she could hear it or some nice honest person could return it.
3. Blocking it in case it has personal details or a banking app.
(I hate unfinished stories!
)Edited by CanAm on Wednesday 31st May 07:52
robinessex said:
Phone was immediately blocked. That kills the tracking app, but she was in the middle of bloody Spain, so that was a no go anyway. It was definitely stolen we've now worked out, so ringing it wouldn't have yielded any response.
A sad end, but thanks for coming back to us. Hopefully my phones are so outdated that no self-respecting thief would be interested.
OldSkoolRS said:
I thought of this thread earlier while I was filling my car up at the petrol station: I watched woman pull up at another pump and virtually empty her boot to eventually find her purse (as it was a pay at pump). I'd pretty much filled 60 litres in the time it took and as I drove off she was only just putting the nozzle in. Glad I picked the next row from her to pull up to as I was behind at the start...
I think I was behind this woman at the Severn Bridge toll last night.I think I was behind her at the Mersey Tunnel when the Toll staff were on strike and they had 'honesty boxes' (in Liverpool!!) for collecting the tolls.
Doris rummages around in the car, then gets Ethel next to her to try her bag before finally getting out and rummaging in the boot for the correct change. FFS woman just drive!!! She must have been the only driver to pay the full amount. Copper coins wrapped in silver foil were the most popular if you wanted to at least look like you were paying.
Doris rummages around in the car, then gets Ethel next to her to try her bag before finally getting out and rummaging in the boot for the correct change. FFS woman just drive!!! She must have been the only driver to pay the full amount. Copper coins wrapped in silver foil were the most popular if you wanted to at least look like you were paying.
Mound Dawg said:
OldSkoolRS said:
I thought of this thread earlier while I was filling my car up at the petrol station: I watched woman pull up at another pump and virtually empty her boot to eventually find her purse (as it was a pay at pump). I'd pretty much filled 60 litres in the time it took and as I drove off she was only just putting the nozzle in. Glad I picked the next row from her to pull up to as I was behind at the start...
I think I was behind this woman at the Severn Bridge toll last night.
Trabi601 said:
We do parkrun every Saturday morning.
Every Saturday follows the same pattern. She gets up at 7am, I get up at 7.15am. Somehow, she still manages to get in my way in the kitchen when I want to toast some teacakes or crumpets, despite having a 15 minute head start on me.
She'll then shower first, followed by me... so you'd expect her to be ready to leave first. But she never is.
Just to really piss me off, she'll declare at 7.55am she's 'ready when you are' - only to then hold me up for another few minutes whilst she cocks about deciding which trainers to wear and putting them on in the hall. With me stood around like a spare prick at a wife swapping party.
Dunno if anyone else picked up on this but why are you having a shower right before going out for a sweaty run? you could save yourself a lot of faff by just showering when you get home after.Every Saturday follows the same pattern. She gets up at 7am, I get up at 7.15am. Somehow, she still manages to get in my way in the kitchen when I want to toast some teacakes or crumpets, despite having a 15 minute head start on me.
She'll then shower first, followed by me... so you'd expect her to be ready to leave first. But she never is.
Just to really piss me off, she'll declare at 7.55am she's 'ready when you are' - only to then hold me up for another few minutes whilst she cocks about deciding which trainers to wear and putting them on in the hall. With me stood around like a spare prick at a wife swapping party.
robinessex said:
Wife in Spain with her friends for a long weekend break. faffing about, she's lost her mobile phone ! It gets worse, It’s an iphone 7, only 5 months into a 24 month contract, and she didn’t insure it! It’s the second mobile she lost now !
Ah, phones.. Missus Potato dropped her brand new HTC (on 2yr contract) few days after she got it, screen cracked. I sold it as it was on ebay and bought her another one which lasted around two months. And yet each time I point that it's poking out of her pocket I'm "bugging her" because "it's safe there". 
PotatoSalad said:
robinessex said:
Wife in Spain with her friends for a long weekend break. faffing about, she's lost her mobile phone ! It gets worse, It’s an iphone 7, only 5 months into a 24 month contract, and she didn’t insure it! It’s the second mobile she lost now !
Ah, phones.. Missus Potato dropped her brand new HTC (on 2yr contract) few days after she got it, screen cracked. I sold it as it was on ebay and bought her another one which lasted around two months. And yet each time I point that it's poking out of her pocket I'm "bugging her" because "it's safe there". Please may I apologise to all drivers behind SWMBO.
Every traffic light is as follows.
Apply increasing brake pressure to stop with a jerk.
Leave in third, handbrake on.
Lights change to orange. - Do nothing.
Lights change to green. - act surprised they have changed.
Handbrake off, onto the footbrake, find the biting point, try move.
Realise third gear is not a start moving gear.
Back onto the footbrake, then handbrake back on.
Into first.
Handbrake off, onto footbrake, find biting point.
Lurch car forward using the idle control.
Then hit the loud pedal and drive off, too fast, and miss the turning you were going to take.
I fear our next car may be an automatic.
Every traffic light is as follows.
Apply increasing brake pressure to stop with a jerk.
Leave in third, handbrake on.
Lights change to orange. - Do nothing.
Lights change to green. - act surprised they have changed.
Handbrake off, onto the footbrake, find the biting point, try move.
Realise third gear is not a start moving gear.
Back onto the footbrake, then handbrake back on.
Into first.
Handbrake off, onto footbrake, find biting point.
Lurch car forward using the idle control.
Then hit the loud pedal and drive off, too fast, and miss the turning you were going to take.
I fear our next car may be an automatic.
IanCress said:
Does anyone else get incredibly annoyed when she boils the kettle, but then can't be arsed / forgets to make a drink so it goes cold again?
Complete waste of money. Then she moans at me because we can't afford the house extension she wants.
And the kettle is always filled, regardless of how little boiled water is actually required?Complete waste of money. Then she moans at me because we can't afford the house extension she wants.
Cliftonite said:
IanCress said:
Does anyone else get incredibly annoyed when she boils the kettle, but then can't be arsed / forgets to make a drink so it goes cold again?
Complete waste of money. Then she moans at me because we can't afford the house extension she wants.
And the kettle is always filled, regardless of how little boiled water is actually required?Complete waste of money. Then she moans at me because we can't afford the house extension she wants.
VGTICE said:
PotatoSalad said:
robinessex said:
Wife in Spain with her friends for a long weekend break. faffing about, she's lost her mobile phone ! It gets worse, It’s an iphone 7, only 5 months into a 24 month contract, and she didn’t insure it! It’s the second mobile she lost now !
Ah, phones.. Missus Potato dropped her brand new HTC (on 2yr contract) few days after she got it, screen cracked. I sold it as it was on ebay and bought her another one which lasted around two months. And yet each time I point that it's poking out of her pocket I'm "bugging her" because "it's safe there". To be fair it seems that HTC screens are just easier to crack, I dropped my phone hundreds of times and it's still in one piece.
Peanut Gallery said:
Please may I apologise to all drivers behind SWMBO.
Every traffic light is as follows.
Apply increasing brake pressure to stop with a jerk.
Leave in third, handbrake on.
Lights change to orange. - Do nothing.
Lights change to green. - act surprised they have changed.
Handbrake off, onto the footbrake, find the biting point, try move.
Realise third gear is not a start moving gear.
Back onto the footbrake, then handbrake back on.
Into first.
Handbrake off, onto footbrake, find biting point.
Lurch car forward using the idle control.
Then hit the loud pedal and drive off, too fast, and miss the turning you were going to take.
I fear our next car may be an automatic.
That reminded me of what happened yesterday, I'm stuck behind this merc, 4th car in the row waiting for lights to change. I can see the driver doing their make up and I'm like "yep, this will be fun". The lights go yellow she surprisingly sets off without delay, I'm like sEvery traffic light is as follows.
Apply increasing brake pressure to stop with a jerk.
Leave in third, handbrake on.
Lights change to orange. - Do nothing.
Lights change to green. - act surprised they have changed.
Handbrake off, onto the footbrake, find the biting point, try move.
Realise third gear is not a start moving gear.
Back onto the footbrake, then handbrake back on.
Into first.
Handbrake off, onto footbrake, find biting point.
Lurch car forward using the idle control.
Then hit the loud pedal and drive off, too fast, and miss the turning you were going to take.
I fear our next car may be an automatic.
t how stupid am I for making an ignorant assumption like that. She then slams on the brakes for no reason whatsoever and since it's a large junction (dual carriage 3 lanes each vs a single carriage, we're on the single carriage way) everyone is confused. I honk my horn she starts flipping out, I'm on my horn again, people behind me join in she starts moving slightly. As she cleared off and I was able to turn left I took a quick look to see what made her stop. Turns out it was a bus on a bus stop on the other side of the junction. There was enough space to park 3 buses behind that bus without blocking anyone...Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff