Anyone else's wife faff about un-necessarily?

[robinessex]

One of my mothers favourite sayings. 'No one ever helps me, but I don't want their help anyway'

[CanAm]

otherman said:

We're seeing this described all the way down the thread. Women cannot be wrong, they must find a way to make their husband wrong on every occasion..........

RULE 1.
The Wife may not always be right but she is never wrong!

[antspants]

CanAm said:

ULE 1.
The Wife may not always be right but she is never wrong!

Taking the thread off topic now, but i have this conversation with my wife on a regular basis.

I know that she knows she's wrong, but getting her to admit it or apologise is like blood from a stone.

She's perfectly reasonable and easy going in every other respect, but so stubborn when it comes to being wrong.

[SilverSixer]

robinessex said:

One of my mothers favourite sayings. 'No one ever helps me, but I don't want their help anyway'

Ah yes. Known in my family as doing "The Martyr".

[RizzoTheRat]

SilverSixer said:

robinessex said:

One of my mothers favourite sayings. 'No one ever helps me, but I don't want their help anyway'

Ah yes. Known in my family as doing "The Martyr".

Ah, self inflected martyrdom. My grandmother used to get half way through watching something on TV, and then ask my grandad if he wanted a cup of tea. He'd invariably say yes please, and then she'd complain that she missed half the TV show because he wanted a cuppa

[anonymous-user]

markcoznottz said:

ymwoods said:

VGTICE said:

How do you lads put up with this st and why don't you do something about it?

Because I'm too scared to say anything to her face...

Plus she controls the sex!

How old are you? Some of my dads mates are in their 70's and are seriously under the thumb. They seem to secretly enjoy it, but to an outsider looking in its quite undignified, it's so hard wired into them they are like robots.

I know young people like that, they seem almost proud to be "grown up" enough to be a little bh to a woman like their old dad. Certainly saw it in my 20s a lot, they don't seem so happy about it now they're stuck with the harpy and their spawn though

[karona]

Nearing the end of an hour's drive, approaching a petrol station, the last chance for a pee-break before the town centre, I ask the fateful question
"where to first then?"
"The supermarket" she says.

My heart soars, no town centre faffage, just a week's shop, and the supermarket's got a loo.

<drives past petrol station>

I turn into the filter lane for the supermarket, she blurts out "OH, I wanted to see about a new pair of shoes".

<Just fking shoot me now>

I moan about the change of plan, parking's a nightmare, long hike to the loos, Mrs K has never just "popped into a shoe shop" in her life, and anyway I'm bursting for a pee.

"Well you should have stopped at the petrol station!"

She wondered why I was less than enthusiastic about helping her to chose a new pair of shoes.

[Peanut Gallery]

Riley Blue said:

When we're going out and I'm driving, how is it that I can stop the car, switch off, remove the key, take off my seat belt, get out of the car, shut my door all in less than three seconds while she takes five times as long just to get her arse off the seat and stand upright...? Why does it take them so long?!

This, but in reverse...

SWMBO was driving, we stopped, I jumped out, grabbed a pint of milk, climbed back in the car, seat belt on, milk tucked behind legs.

She then looks around, realizes she is still sitting behind the steering wheel.
Oh, am I still the driver sort of look.
Tries to reverse out.
Realizes she has turned the car off.
Finds the keys that she had taken out and put in her lap.
Keys in the ignition, start the car.
Turn around, check that PG junior is still strapped in. (She had not been removed from the car)
Find reverse, sloooowly reverse out onto the road.
2 blocks later I ask her to turn the lights on, as it was nearly 11 at night.

[Andehh]

Twig62 said:

The one that always gets me with women is what do they do in the 20 or so minutes when they get back in the car after paying for fuel before they pull off the pump

arrrggghhhhhh! Don't even get me started on this point, if there is one thing that takes me from 0 - raged its pulling up behind someone at the pumps, giving my car a full tank of fuel then getting back into my car AND THE ORIGINAL CAR IS STILL fkING SAT THERE! what are you doing!?!?!? Why are you still there!?!?! I was here AFTER you!?!? WHY am I sat here!?!?

[Monkeylegend]

Peanut Gallery said:

Riley Blue said:

When we're going out and I'm driving, how is it that I can stop the car, switch off, remove the key, take off my seat belt, get out of the car, shut my door all in less than three seconds while she takes five times as long just to get her arse off the seat and stand upright...? Why does it take them so long?!

This, but in reverse...

SWMBO was driving, we stopped, I jumped out, grabbed a pint of milk, climbed back in the car, seat belt on, milk tucked behind legs.

She then looks around, realizes she is still sitting behind the steering wheel.
Oh, am I still the driver sort of look.
Tries to reverse out.
Realizes she has turned the car off.
Finds the keys that she had taken out and put in her lap.
Keys in the ignition, start the car.
Turn around, check that PG junior is still strapped in. (She had not been removed from the car)
Find reverse, sloooowly reverse out onto the road.
2 blocks later I ask her to turn the lights on, as it was nearly 11 at night.

And it's taken all of August and nearly 2 weeks of September to decide to post this. That's faffing on an epic scale

[DRFC1879]

Ah, the return of one of my favourite cathartic threads.

I don't think anyone's mentioned this one yet:

Watching a film/TV drama. Five minutes in:

Mrs1879: Who's he? Is he the other bloke's son?
Me: I don't know, It hasn't said yet. I've been watching the same thing as you.
Mrs1879: What's happened to him?
Me: I don't know. I think he was just telling that woman but I didn't hear because I was answering your last question.
Mrs1879: Alright, mardy arse. Who's the woman he was talking to then?
Me: I don't know, it hasn't said yet. I haven't seen this before so if you don't know, I don't know. Anyway, I haven't a clue what's happening now so I'll rewind it a bit.

Mrs1879 plays on phone because she's already seen this bit.

Back to where we were:

Me: It's caught up
Mrs1879: What's happened then?
Me: I thought you'd seen that bit...

Edited by DRFC1879 on Monday 11th September 15:08

[Usget]

DRFC1879 said:

Mrs1879: Who's he? Is he the other bloke's son?
Me: I don't know, It hasn't said yet. I've been watching the same thing as you.
Mrs1879: What's happened to him?
Me: I don't know. I think he was just telling that woman but I didn't hear because I was answering your last question.
Mrs1879: Alright, mardy arse. Who's the woman he was talking to then?

ARRRRGGGGGHHHGHGHG.

Yeah, that.

[HTP99]

DRFC1879 said:

Ah, the return of one of my favourite cathartic threads.

I don't think anyone's mentioned this one yet:

Watching a film/TV drama. Five minutes in:

Mrs1879: Who's he? Is he the other bloke's son?
Me: I don't know, It hasn't said yet. I've been watching the same thing as you.
Mrs1879: What's happened to him?
Me: I don't know. I think he was just telling that woman but I didn't hear because I was answering your last question.
Mrs1879: Alright, mardy arse. Who's the woman he was talking to then?
Me: I don't know, it hasn't said yet. I haven't seen this before so if you don't know, I don't know. Anyway, I haven't a clue what's happening now so I'll rewind it a bit.

Mrs1879 plays on phone because she's already seen this bit.

Back to where we were:

Me: It's caught up
Mrs1879: What's happened then?
Me: I thought you'd seen that bit...

Edited by DRFC1879 on Monday 11th September 15:08

That is so my wife, she also goes on her phone all the way through a programme and then asks questions about said programme.

[robinessex]

My wife does that. IN THE BLOODY CINEMA. Shut up women.

[Moonhawk]

Andehh said:

arrrggghhhhhh! Don't even get me started on this point, if there is one thing that takes me from 0 - raged its pulling up behind someone at the pumps, giving my car a full tank of fuel then getting back into my car AND THE ORIGINAL CAR IS STILL fkING SAT THERE! what are you doing!?!?!? Why are you still there!?!?! I was here AFTER you!?!? WHY am I sat here!?!?

I had something like this a couple of weeks back.

Car is on fumes - so I pull into the petrol station at the second pump behind a woman in a small car (Corsa I think).

She is out of her car and at the pump around the same time as I am and after a small amount of faffage with the filler cap - starts to fill her car just after I start mine.

I top my car off (around £85 worth) - close everything up and go into the shop to pay. Inevitably there is a queue of around 5 people getting magazines, chocloate etc etc, so after a few minutes I finally get to the counter and pay for my fuel.

As I am leaving the shop - I notice the woman has just finished filling her car and is replacing the fuel filler cap. "Wow" think's I - "those little cars must have big fuel tanks".

As I pass her pump - I glance at the amount dispensed.................£10!

I was then blocked in and I had to wait for her to get through the queue, get back in her car (with associated faffage) and move

Can anyone explain how it can possibly take to long to dispense £10 worth of fuel. Was she doing it 1 drop at a time?

[Shakermaker]

Moonhawk said:

I had something like this a couple of weeks back.

Car is on fumes - so I pull into the petrol station at the second pump behind a woman in a small car (Corsa I think).

She is out of her car and at the pump around the same time as I am and after a small amount of faffage with the filler cap - starts to fill her car just after I start mine.

I top my car off (around £85 worth) - close everything up and go into the shop to pay. Inevitably there is a queue of around 5 people getting magazines, chocloate etc etc, so after a few minutes I finally get to the counter and pay for my fuel.

As I am leaving the shop - I notice the woman has just finished filling her car and is replacing the fuel filler cap. "Wow" think's I - "those little cars must have big fuel tanks".

As I pass her pump - I glance at the amount dispensed.................£10!

I was then blocked in and I had to wait for her to get through the queue, get back in her car (with associated faffage) and move

Can anyone explain how it can possibly take to long to dispense £10 worth of fuel. Was she doing it 1 drop at a time?

Hmm.

Every so often, I put the nozzle in but due to some reason, probably related to angle, it will cut off dispensing after a second or two. A quick jiggle of the pump to a slightly different angle and all will be fine and I can happily fill up the tank.

Maybe she didn't jiggle it, and was just having to do exactly what you've suggested and was doing it one drop at a time and not realising that a momentary jiggle would free up the breather pipe to allow it to fully open up and smoothly dispense. No doubt she will have gone into the shop and complained about it afterwards.

[Speed 3]

Shakermaker said:

Moonhawk said:

I had something like this a couple of weeks back.

Car is on fumes - so I pull into the petrol station at the second pump behind a woman in a small car (Corsa I think).

She is out of her car and at the pump around the same time as I am and after a small amount of faffage with the filler cap - starts to fill her car just after I start mine.

I top my car off (around £85 worth) - close everything up and go into the shop to pay. Inevitably there is a queue of around 5 people getting magazines, chocloate etc etc, so after a few minutes I finally get to the counter and pay for my fuel.

As I am leaving the shop - I notice the woman has just finished filling her car and is replacing the fuel filler cap. "Wow" think's I - "those little cars must have big fuel tanks".

As I pass her pump - I glance at the amount dispensed.................£10!

I was then blocked in and I had to wait for her to get through the queue, get back in her car (with associated faffage) and move

Can anyone explain how it can possibly take to long to dispense £10 worth of fuel. Was she doing it 1 drop at a time?

Hmm.

Every so often, I put the nozzle in but due to some reason, probably related to angle, it will cut off dispensing after a second or two. A quick jiggle of the pump to a slightly different angle and all will be fine and I can happily fill up the tank.

Maybe she didn't jiggle it, and was just having to do exactly what you've suggested and was doing it one drop at a time and not realising that a momentary jiggle would free up the breather pipe to allow it to fully open up and smoothly dispense. No doubt she will have gone into the shop and complained about it afterwards.

Nah, she only had a tenner on her so stopped full flow at £9.50 and did the rest a penny at a time.

[ashleyman]

Shakermaker said:

Moonhawk said:

I had something like this a couple of weeks back.

Car is on fumes - so I pull into the petrol station at the second pump behind a woman in a small car (Corsa I think).

She is out of her car and at the pump around the same time as I am and after a small amount of faffage with the filler cap - starts to fill her car just after I start mine.

I top my car off (around £85 worth) - close everything up and go into the shop to pay. Inevitably there is a queue of around 5 people getting magazines, chocloate etc etc, so after a few minutes I finally get to the counter and pay for my fuel.

As I am leaving the shop - I notice the woman has just finished filling her car and is replacing the fuel filler cap. "Wow" think's I - "those little cars must have big fuel tanks".

As I pass her pump - I glance at the amount dispensed.................£10!

I was then blocked in and I had to wait for her to get through the queue, get back in her car (with associated faffage) and move

Can anyone explain how it can possibly take to long to dispense £10 worth of fuel. Was she doing it 1 drop at a time?

Hmm.

Every so often, I put the nozzle in but due to some reason, probably related to angle, it will cut off dispensing after a second or two. A quick jiggle of the pump to a slightly different angle and all will be fine and I can happily fill up the tank.

Maybe she didn't jiggle it, and was just having to do exactly what you've suggested and was doing it one drop at a time and not realising that a momentary jiggle would free up the breather pipe to allow it to fully open up and smoothly dispense. No doubt she will have gone into the shop and complained about it afterwards.

This happens all the time. It's so annoying and can happen up to 4 or 5 times on filling up, then all of a sudden it'll catch and then click when full. Just to be safe I always give it another little squeeze until it clicks again just to be sure it's 100% full.

[Bobberoo99]

OOOHHHHHHHHHH so much to say, so little space and time!!!!
I love my wife of 22 years very deeply, but oh my god does she faff!!! And she knows she does too!!
She doesn't do the suddenly realising she needs to pay thing, but she does regularly put stuff in her bag, NEVER to be seen again!!
She has mild OCD which necessitates her straightening things, only our things but still, I can't put anything where I want it to be because she WILL move it, I can't leave anything out, she WILL tidy it away, she once, many years ago, threw the TV remote away after we got Sky because the installer told her the Sky remote would control the telly, only found out several months later when I wanted to adjust the settings!!!! Ask her to make a decision, FAFF,
her:- well, what do you want to do/watch/eat,
me:- well I fancy that,
her:- uuuhhhhh no I don't want/fancy that,
me:- ok then, what about blah, blah, blah (long list of alternatives!!)
her:- nah, not sure what I want/fancy/need/desire, what do you want?
me:- AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[DRFC1879]

Booberoo, how did you get here? There's a nice, soothing glass of absinthe waiting for you in the refectory.