Anyone else's wife faff about un-necessarily?
Discussion
I lost 3 hours of my life, shoe shopping.
this is relevant as it was in New York. so not the time for shoe shopping, as it was a short break for us.
3 hours which would have been far better spent sight seeing et al.
not feckin shoe shopping because out the millions of pairs she brought, she needed something more comfy- for guess what, lots of days of walking.
what did she think we would be doing ?
of course when they start shopping for one pair: "I might as well have these too and I'll just try these on............... !! "
this is relevant as it was in New York. so not the time for shoe shopping, as it was a short break for us.
3 hours which would have been far better spent sight seeing et al.
not feckin shoe shopping because out the millions of pairs she brought, she needed something more comfy- for guess what, lots of days of walking.
what did she think we would be doing ?
of course when they start shopping for one pair: "I might as well have these too and I'll just try these on............... !! "
Mine does the 'sitting in the car' thing too.
Another thing. I do the majority of the cooking - and when I am I like unrestricted access to the sink for washing veg, hand washing etc.
If she is in the kitchen when I am cooking, she always (without fail) finds something to faff around the sink area. I can be stood behind her up the the elbows in flour - she'll turn around surprised that I need to use the sink. We have been married years and despite getting annoyed every time she does it - she still does it.
I'm thinking of getting some of these to cordon off that part of the kitchen whilst i'm cooking.
- Get home
- Stop car and turn engine off
- Unbuckle seat belt
- Grab phone
- Get out of car
- Open boot
- Extract shopping bags
- Close boot
- Walk towards front door
- Turn to remote lock the car
Another thing. I do the majority of the cooking - and when I am I like unrestricted access to the sink for washing veg, hand washing etc.
If she is in the kitchen when I am cooking, she always (without fail) finds something to faff around the sink area. I can be stood behind her up the the elbows in flour - she'll turn around surprised that I need to use the sink. We have been married years and despite getting annoyed every time she does it - she still does it.
I'm thinking of getting some of these to cordon off that part of the kitchen whilst i'm cooking.
Edited by Moonhawk on Monday 13th March 09:17
TooMany2cvs said:
Approach car, pop the locks with the fob, only she's already lifted the passenger door handle, so her door won't unlock. She lets go, I relock the car, she hears the 'thunk' so lifts the handle again, just as I press unlock
rinse and repeat.
Every. Fekkin. Time.
Mine does that too rinse and repeat.
Every. Fekkin. Time.
Reminds me of this War of the Worlds parody scene from Scary Movie 4 (see 1:00 onwards)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iJ4LMjo3tc
mac96 said:
What's the expression? Can't live with them, can't live without them?
To be fair they have similar complaints about us ('sorry dear, it will take 10 minutes to move the RX8 out of your way, because I can't switch the engine off again while still cold')
Can't live with them. Pass the beer nuts.To be fair they have similar complaints about us ('sorry dear, it will take 10 minutes to move the RX8 out of your way, because I can't switch the engine off again while still cold')
karona said:
Approach car, pop the locks with the fob, only she's already lifted the passenger door handle, so her door won't unlock. She lets go, I relock the car, she hears the 'thunk' so lifts the handle again, just as I press unlock
rinse and repeat.
Every. Fekkin. Time.
This. Add 2 kids who do the same, it's a wonder we ever manage to get in the car! Yes I could be prepared and unlock the car well in advance but with the kids around I'm usually distracted by/dealing with/helping themrinse and repeat.
Every. Fekkin. Time.
Edited by Snatch1 on Monday 13th March 10:35
speedyguy said:
motco said:
If I shop I enter the shop, buy what's on my list, pay and leave. Do women do this? Not on you life!
This still rings true 
https://youtu.be/OrAytLkEBMU
Why does it take forever? We have to go up and down every.single.aisle even the ones where we don't actually need anything from and then after navigating all the aisles... the list? Oh yes, the list. Why is ignored once we get in there?Especially after the classic phrase "we don't need much so I'm only getting whats on the list".After we have spent well over an hour going up and down, up and down sometimes down the same one as she has lost count and I have totally lost the will to life to correct her we then go BACK to a previous location because she missed it.
Once everything is paid for, carefully packed into the car and we start to head home it's the usual ending to the trip
"Oh we forgot to get xxxxx, never mind I need to pop down to the shop anyway as there are a couple of other small bits I need"
Snatch1 said:
karona said:
Approach car, pop the locks with the fob, only she's already lifted the passenger door handle, so her door won't unlock. She lets go, I relock the car, she hears the 'thunk' so lifts the handle again, just as I press unlock
rinse and repeat.
Every. Fekkin. Time.
This. Add 2 kids who do the same, it's a wonder we ever manage to get in the car! Yes I could be prepared and unlock the car well in advance but with the kids around I'm usually distracted by/dealing with/helping themrinse and repeat.
Every. Fekkin. Time.
Edited by Snatch1 on Monday 13th March 10:35
Mound Dawg said:
Case Study 3.
She needs velcro for some sort of cushion making thing she has going at the moment. We're standing in a queue at the till waiting to be served but of course, she waits until the shop assistant asks her for the money before rummaging around in her bag for her purse and eventually producing a fiver. Transaction completed we then stand at the till while she returns her purse to the handbag, pausing only for a brief (it felt like years) spring clean of said handbag.
This behaviour decimates me completely, my girlfriend does it too, SORT IT OUT IN ADVANCE FOR fShe needs velcro for some sort of cushion making thing she has going at the moment. We're standing in a queue at the till waiting to be served but of course, she waits until the shop assistant asks her for the money before rummaging around in her bag for her purse and eventually producing a fiver. Transaction completed we then stand at the till while she returns her purse to the handbag, pausing only for a brief (it felt like years) spring clean of said handbag.
k SAKE WOMAN. 
Trabi601 said:
We do parkrun every Saturday morning.
Every Saturday follows the same pattern. She gets up at 7am, I get up at 7.15am. Somehow, she still manages to get in my way in the kitchen when I want to toast some teacakes or crumpets, despite having a 15 minute head start on me.
She'll then shower first, followed by me... so you'd expect her to be ready to leave first. But she never is.
Just to really piss me off, she'll declare at 7.55am she's 'ready when you are' - only to then hold me up for another few minutes whilst she cocks about deciding which trainers to wear and putting them on in the hall. With me stood around like a spare prick at a wife swapping party.
you shower BEFORE a parkrun?Every Saturday follows the same pattern. She gets up at 7am, I get up at 7.15am. Somehow, she still manages to get in my way in the kitchen when I want to toast some teacakes or crumpets, despite having a 15 minute head start on me.
She'll then shower first, followed by me... so you'd expect her to be ready to leave first. But she never is.
Just to really piss me off, she'll declare at 7.55am she's 'ready when you are' - only to then hold me up for another few minutes whilst she cocks about deciding which trainers to wear and putting them on in the hall. With me stood around like a spare prick at a wife swapping party.
why
My wife can never leave the house with any semblance of being prompt and then shouts at the rest of us when she's made us late.
My Father-in-Law has the same issue and just sits by the front door until Mother-in-Law is eventually ready.
Last night at about 11pm I attempt to lock the house and we use my wife's bunch of keys for this. It means she knows where they are in the morning for the school run.
me: Where are your keys?"
her: "don't know, are they in the kitchen?"
me: "no."
her: "are they in the car door?"
I go outside to see her car had been parked since 4pm with a bunch of keys in the driver's door and unlocked.
As for locating her glasses or phone..................the other weekend her glasses were spotted in the washing machine on a whites wash.
My Father-in-Law has the same issue and just sits by the front door until Mother-in-Law is eventually ready.
Last night at about 11pm I attempt to lock the house and we use my wife's bunch of keys for this. It means she knows where they are in the morning for the school run.
me: Where are your keys?"
her: "don't know, are they in the kitchen?"
me: "no."
her: "are they in the car door?"
I go outside to see her car had been parked since 4pm with a bunch of keys in the driver's door and unlocked.
As for locating her glasses or phone..................the other weekend her glasses were spotted in the washing machine on a whites wash.
Mrs. 1879 is great at the whole sitting in the car for ten minutes every time we park up. I really have no idea what it is she does in there. Countless times I've got out, got the boy out, unloaded the shopping, gone in the house, unpacked said shopping and turned the kettle on before returning to lock the car as she has finally got herself and her handbag out.
She is also an expert at shouting at the boy repeatedly to get his shoes & coat on then leaving us sitting in the car, engine running and ready to go while she buggers off to the bog.
She is also an expert at shouting at the boy repeatedly to get his shoes & coat on then leaving us sitting in the car, engine running and ready to go while she buggers off to the bog.
MarshPhantom said:
mac96 said:
What's the expression? Can't live with them, can't live without them?
To be fair they have similar complaints about us ('sorry dear, it will take 10 minutes to move the RX8 out of your way, because I can't switch the engine off again while still cold')
Can't live with them. Pass the beer nuts.To be fair they have similar complaints about us ('sorry dear, it will take 10 minutes to move the RX8 out of your way, because I can't switch the engine off again while still cold')
I've been without wife for nearly three months now, she is still overseas trying to sell our house there. 15 year old daughter and I are living here alone, it is blissful, peaceful, with just one little argument in all the time we have been here.
I am honestly dreading the wife coming over, for every single one of the reasons mentioned so far in this thread.
My wife is the queen of faffing about:
- Just about to go out, shoes on, waiting at the door, oh the tumble drier has finished, so she will proceed to empty it and fold up all the clothes.
- Just about to go out, shoes on, waiting at the door, oh the hall needs a hoover, grabs hoover and proceeds to hoover the hall and then the lounge.
- Just about to go out, shoes on, waiting at the door, oh the cushions in the lounge need plumping and re-arranging.
- Just about to go out, shoes on, waiting at the door, she looks in the mirror and decides that what she is wearing doesn't go, off upstairs to change.
- Arrive home in car, pull up, engine off, oh she hasn't put her shoes on (she likes to take her shoes off when in the car), so I have to wait until she's farted about putting her shoes back on, she would have known a few streets away that we were almost home and yet waits until we actually pull up before putting her shoes on, the youngest is exactly the same.
- She cannot do anything witout getting distracted by either Arsebook or Whats App, goes to clean the kitchen after dinner; "I'll be 5 minutes", so I won't fire up the X-Box or watch that episode of something, half an hour later she is still in there, glued to her bloody phone!
- Contrary to what women would have you believe, she most certainly cannot multi task.
Since this is a motoring forum, I can only say to all of you who've wives who faff: you chose poorly. You should have undertaken a proper inspection and due diligence BEFORE you go hitched. It's your own fking fault! 
Reading all your funny posts I can see why my exes are exes, and why I married the one I proposed to.
king fault! Reading all your funny posts I can see why my exes are exes, and why I married the one I proposed to.
Morningside said:
No point unlocking the car in advance as it automaticly re-locks after a few minutes if no one gets in.
Arrrghhhh - that's another one. Wife: "Can you unlock the car"
Me : (unlocks car)
Car: (couple of minutes later - locks itself again due to lack of activity)
Wife: (10 minutes later - goes to car)
Wife: (comes back into house ranting) "I asked you to unlock the car"
Me: "I did but........." (stops there as it has been explained countless times in the past)
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