Mums have it easy
Discussion
I'm undecided on this.
On one hand, when I'm in the UK, I'll get up at 5am, drive 2 hours to work, do 8-9 hours in the office then drive 2 hours home.....then generally once home fill the dishwasher, buy the dinner then cook the dinner, then do home work with our eldest. Generally my day ends at 9:30pm when they are finally in bed.
I very occasionally work from home, so I do get to see how much TV and naps she gets.
On the other hand, She does get up at night with the baby + 4 year old (recently I have been going down in the morning to find her asleep on the sofa with two kids) and gets out 9 year old to and from school, she also does 99% of the nappy changes, even when I'm home.
On balance, seeing that I'm close to exploding after about 2 hours solo looking after any two of our three kids and that I get to spend most of the week in a very nice hotel in Munich, I probably get the easier side of the deal.
On one hand, when I'm in the UK, I'll get up at 5am, drive 2 hours to work, do 8-9 hours in the office then drive 2 hours home.....then generally once home fill the dishwasher, buy the dinner then cook the dinner, then do home work with our eldest. Generally my day ends at 9:30pm when they are finally in bed.
I very occasionally work from home, so I do get to see how much TV and naps she gets.
On the other hand, She does get up at night with the baby + 4 year old (recently I have been going down in the morning to find her asleep on the sofa with two kids) and gets out 9 year old to and from school, she also does 99% of the nappy changes, even when I'm home.
On balance, seeing that I'm close to exploding after about 2 hours solo looking after any two of our three kids and that I get to spend most of the week in a very nice hotel in Munich, I probably get the easier side of the deal.
Update.
I've now gained my Masters in Engineering and I'm a physics teacher at a state school. We've got a new little boy, who is just a delight. My middle child is very difficult to get to sleep but other than that, my wife is currently on maternity leave and as she puts it "on holiday".
My opinion has not changed; being a stay at home mum/dad is the easy bit (unless there are unique needs for the child).
Also, being a teacher is easy. Got two weeks off. They're another bunch who seemingly make a meal out of their jobs and moan all the time.
I've now gained my Masters in Engineering and I'm a physics teacher at a state school. We've got a new little boy, who is just a delight. My middle child is very difficult to get to sleep but other than that, my wife is currently on maternity leave and as she puts it "on holiday".
My opinion has not changed; being a stay at home mum/dad is the easy bit (unless there are unique needs for the child).
Also, being a teacher is easy. Got two weeks off. They're another bunch who seemingly make a meal out of their jobs and moan all the time.
I dunno. I press buttons all day. The OH has to keep two humans alive. Doesn't seem that easy since if I make a serious mistake, I just go to a backup and restart processes the next day. If she makes a serious mistake, we lose a child. The weight of responsibility set against the occasional downtime for Loose Women/Netflix/Wine.
Teachers definitely have it easy! With a small amount of prep work and organisational skills, you can be off the premises by 4 pm every day. It's not like you don't get a quarter of the year off, and even when working you tend to get "free periods", morning break, lunch break and afternoon break. The occasional parents evening must be a chore though.
Stay at home mums - it really depends. When we just had the 1, it would be an absolute doddle. I would have loved to be a stay at home dad.
Now we have twins too, I think the tables have turned. just.
Stay at home mums - it really depends. When we just had the 1, it would be an absolute doddle. I would have loved to be a stay at home dad.
Now we have twins too, I think the tables have turned. just.
Smitters said:
I dunno. I press buttons all day. The OH has to keep two humans alive. Doesn't seem that easy since if I make a serious mistake, I just go to a backup and restart processes the next day. If she makes a serious mistake, we lose a child. The weight of responsibility set against the occasional downtime for Loose Women/Netflix/Wine.
To be fair it is pretty hard to kill a child by accident.As long as they are fed and changed then they will mostly live.
I've had our niece a few times from when she was a newborn and while a very small insight (only a couple of days max at a time) I think I would be able to handle it quite well.
Issue is my Mrs says it's a "full time job", but she is a busy body , she would be constantly playing with her etc so sort of making it hard for herself.
She says the same for our 2 dogs, but when she's out and I'm working from home they just sleep on the sofa all day.
I think some women just like to over exaggerate how hard things are (so do men - classic "ahh I'm flat out mate" syndrome)
Certainly working full time and child care have their own pros and cons, I may be old fashioned but if one partner is working full time (whether this is the man or the woman) and the other is not working to look after the child then that is their job so they can't really moan.
You should both help out when you can obviously , but I do think sometimes partners do not understand the need for "chill time" so for the working parent to want a day or so on the weekend to not do anything is important for their mental state -
I work from home most of the time, at the weekends my Mrs wants to do loads of s
te, recently she has taken up gardening. It will look good when it's done, she wanted some help from me and I didn't really want to , so I didn't, instead I played video games for a couple of hours. That was a big thing :-) Edited by xjay1337 on Wednesday 10th April 11:11
Warning - Low quality rant ahead...
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I am married, and have a dog, a 6 year old (school age) and 4 year old (does 2 days at pre-school). I work a typical 9-5 office job, and my wife does an afternoon and a morning a week in the local library. She is otherwise a "stay at home Mum".
I get up at 6:30, walk the dog, and then get changed to leave for work at 8am. I usually get home at 6pm, when the kids are usually partway through dinner. I help with bath and bed time, then take the dog out for a second walk, and get back by 8-8:30pm. Then I do home admin or help out with the housework, watch a bit of TV with the wife, and head to bed by 10-10:30pm.
We've agreed pink or blue jobs depending on who's responsibility it is, but we do help each other out.
The house is a mess, the laundrey basket is overflowing, and there is often a days worth of dishes on the side when I get in from work. (All agreed as a pink jobs.)
The garden is a mess. (All except mowing the lawn is agreed as a pink job.)
The garage is tidy. (Agreed as a blue job.)
The car is maintained and such like. (Agreed as a blue job.)
The car is un-washed, but was hoovered out last weekend. (Agreed as a blue job, but she does give the kids croissants the day after I hoover it, so it feels like she's working against me on this one.)
With the majority of the pink jobs not really done to a half decent standard, she has recently taken on an allotment (which is stupid in my opinion), goes into school to help with reading (which very I am supportive of) and is considering Dog Agility from September when the small one goes to school.
The kids are doing great, but it does feel like she could get more done during the day whilst still having well raised kids.
When I am on duty on a Sat morning, when she's at work, I manage to take them swimming, do a couple of loads of washing, sort out the dishwasher and make them lunch. I set them off playing in the lounge with a bit of direction, and then can get some stuff done whilst dropping in an out to check they're OK.
I don't want to swap with her, but I do think she could make a better job of it. I'm having a yearly PDR at work this afternoon. If I could give her a PDR, there are a few areas that would be marked off as "Needs Improvement."
Of course it's hard to bring this all up, because I don't get much sex as it is, and I don't really want to go down to none.
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I am married, and have a dog, a 6 year old (school age) and 4 year old (does 2 days at pre-school). I work a typical 9-5 office job, and my wife does an afternoon and a morning a week in the local library. She is otherwise a "stay at home Mum".
I get up at 6:30, walk the dog, and then get changed to leave for work at 8am. I usually get home at 6pm, when the kids are usually partway through dinner. I help with bath and bed time, then take the dog out for a second walk, and get back by 8-8:30pm. Then I do home admin or help out with the housework, watch a bit of TV with the wife, and head to bed by 10-10:30pm.
We've agreed pink or blue jobs depending on who's responsibility it is, but we do help each other out.
The house is a mess, the laundrey basket is overflowing, and there is often a days worth of dishes on the side when I get in from work. (All agreed as a pink jobs.)
The garden is a mess. (All except mowing the lawn is agreed as a pink job.)
The garage is tidy. (Agreed as a blue job.)
The car is maintained and such like. (Agreed as a blue job.)
The car is un-washed, but was hoovered out last weekend. (Agreed as a blue job, but she does give the kids croissants the day after I hoover it, so it feels like she's working against me on this one.)
With the majority of the pink jobs not really done to a half decent standard, she has recently taken on an allotment (which is stupid in my opinion), goes into school to help with reading (which very I am supportive of) and is considering Dog Agility from September when the small one goes to school.
The kids are doing great, but it does feel like she could get more done during the day whilst still having well raised kids.
When I am on duty on a Sat morning, when she's at work, I manage to take them swimming, do a couple of loads of washing, sort out the dishwasher and make them lunch. I set them off playing in the lounge with a bit of direction, and then can get some stuff done whilst dropping in an out to check they're OK.
I don't want to swap with her, but I do think she could make a better job of it. I'm having a yearly PDR at work this afternoon. If I could give her a PDR, there are a few areas that would be marked off as "Needs Improvement."
Of course it's hard to bring this all up, because I don't get much sex as it is, and I don't really want to go down to none.
xjay1337 said:
I would probably bring it up now before it causes a major issue.
That would certainly annoy me!
We worked through some of it last night.That would certainly annoy me!
She's making a great job of bringing the kids up. A really great job, and I don't want that to change. It's also the most important thing, especially at the age they are now. I just feel she could be achieving the same results with the kids whilst still getting some of the other s
t done.SpeedMattersNot said:
Update.
I've now gained my Masters in Engineering and I'm a physics teacher at a state school. We've got a new little boy, who is just a delight. My middle child is very difficult to get to sleep but other than that, my wife is currently on maternity leave and as she puts it "on holiday".
My opinion has not changed; being a stay at home mum/dad is the easy bit (unless there are unique needs for the child).
Now I thought that at first... wait until they hit 6 and 4 years old like my kids, they become quite tough to look after when doing the usual household chores as well I've now gained my Masters in Engineering and I'm a physics teacher at a state school. We've got a new little boy, who is just a delight. My middle child is very difficult to get to sleep but other than that, my wife is currently on maternity leave and as she puts it "on holiday".
My opinion has not changed; being a stay at home mum/dad is the easy bit (unless there are unique needs for the child).
Congrats on the Masters btw
PAULJ5555 said:
Post the OP on Mumsnet but say its from a woman. Wonder what replies will come in.
Probably none beacuse their all busy being mums remember.
It did get posted on Mumsnet and I actually signed up to Mumsnet to defend myself. Probably none beacuse their all busy being mums remember.
https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/2886145-Mum...
My children are now 5, 2 and 0. It's brilliant. Off to the park with the two girls now while Mum takes baby shopping
If it was that hard they wouldn't all be doing it, they'd be paying someone and going out and earning more money.
Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
Seriously, it takes 10minutes to Hoover out whole house, 2 minutes to fill a dishwasher, same with a washing achieve and tumble dryer.
Rest of the day is playing with your kids or blocking coffee shops with a buggy
Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
Seriously, it takes 10minutes to Hoover out whole house, 2 minutes to fill a dishwasher, same with a washing achieve and tumble dryer.
Rest of the day is playing with your kids or blocking coffee shops with a buggy
keirik said:
If it was that hard they wouldn't all be doing it, they'd be paying someone and going out and earning more money.
Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
Cynical? Their lives are basically: get dolled up on a Friday and Saturday until you trap a bloke, get him to marry you, get pregnant, quit work and live the life of Riley because you managed to squeeze two brats out.
If you genuinely feel that's the case, I'd suggest you're probably keeping company with the wrong sort of women.
keirik said:
Seriously, it takes 10minutes to Hoover out whole house
You should work harder (or send your other half to work) and maybe you'd be able to buy a bigger house. 
SpeckledJim said:
Don't listen to what people say. Just watch what they do.
There's a very easy test for this particular question.
When they pause for breath in the moaning about how terrible it all is, just suggest they go back to work.
...and there's your answer.
"but think of the children! Who will raise them!?!"There's a very easy test for this particular question.
When they pause for breath in the moaning about how terrible it all is, just suggest they go back to work.
...and there's your answer.
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