Cringeworthy things
Discussion
DrSteveBrule said:
Abbreviations of car manufacturer's names used in conversation:
Bimmer / BM
Scooby
Fezza
Lambo
Maser
For some reason 'Merc' and hearing Porsche pronounced 'Porsh' don't irritate me. The first on the list is the worst by a mile.
I've just left a job where everyone who thought they were clever referred to Avocados as 'Avo's'. It was so bad that people used to make up sentences just to use the word.Bimmer / BM
Scooby
Fezza
Lambo
Maser
For some reason 'Merc' and hearing Porsche pronounced 'Porsh' don't irritate me. The first on the list is the worst by a mile.
The Avocado line recently moved. I've never known so many smug people saying Avo this, Avo that.
They still say longer thins like Pakistani Mango though. That could have been reduced to pacman.
Along time ago, when I was living with my parents while on leave from the army, I was due to go "on the pull" with three mates who'd all joined the RAF.
Only one of us had a car, an old, but tidy enough 4-door MkII Escort Ghia.
The car promptly broke down on my dad's driveway, and bless him, although he tried, my dad couldn't get it going again without parts. So off we went to the local Royal British Legion 'grab a granny' disco night.
Well what started as a night out on the pull in Swansea turned into an inter-service drinking contest in the ballroom of the local Legion HQ. Between the four of us we almost completely covered a 6ft trestle table with empty Newcastle Brown Ale bottles, jealously guarding our empties from any bar staff who tried to clear them away. At the end of the night (our night, not the Legion's) we were "invited" to leave, and politely informed that we wouldn't be welcomed back. We left with opened bottles hidden in jackets, and pinballed our way back to our various homes.
We were in enough of a state as it was, believing that we were awesome, but looking entirely awful. I just about managed to get the key into the Yale lock (upside-down I seem to recall - what was that all about?) and literally fell through the open door and into a deep sleep sat on the bottom of the stairs.
The cringeworthy bit?
Ah! Well I was still asleep when my mum came down in the morning, and when she woke me I could see that she really feared the worst. I hadn't just fallen asleep in a whirling kaleidoscope of snot and vomit. Oh no! I'd done it in style, and on top of having nearly drunk myself to death (apparently sleeping sitting up meant I threw up down my front and didn't choke on it) but I'd actually "Grand Slammed" on the stairs. My poor mum was suitably disgusted, but I managed to get cleaned up before my dad found out. He knew I'd been sick on myself, and had slept on the stairs, but to her credit my mum managed to keep the worst of the news from him, and probably saved me from a sound thrashing into the bargain.
To this day I've never got nearly so drunk again, and I still can't bear even the thought of drinking "Newcy Brown"...
I used to work with a rather portly chap. He had a much more portly wife. They were only in their late twenties, but both of them were already on cholesterol tablets, had diabetes etc. Didn't look after themselves at all.
One Monday morning the chap arrived at work looking very tired. He had been to a family barbecue on the Sunday and his wife had got absolutely smashed on Sourz drinks. This time, hoewever, she took it a bit too far.
She had been troughing burgers and hot dogs all afternoon, along with the drink. Then, around 7pm, her digestive system backfired. She wobbled into the downstairs toilet and projectile vomited all over the bog, the sink, the walls etc. Her husband went in as he was concerned about the noise. As she carried on puking, she started trying to pull her pants down. As she did so, she started firing liquid s
t out of her arse. This sprayed the back of the door that she has missed with the sick, and her husband who was stood behind her trying to hold her hair back. Apparently, the bodily fluid tide went on for a good few minutes and the poor toilet was pretty much declared a biohazard zone.
I don't know my colleague got his wife home that night. I also don't know what he said to the poor buggers who owned the house.
One Monday morning the chap arrived at work looking very tired. He had been to a family barbecue on the Sunday and his wife had got absolutely smashed on Sourz drinks. This time, hoewever, she took it a bit too far.
She had been troughing burgers and hot dogs all afternoon, along with the drink. Then, around 7pm, her digestive system backfired. She wobbled into the downstairs toilet and projectile vomited all over the bog, the sink, the walls etc. Her husband went in as he was concerned about the noise. As she carried on puking, she started trying to pull her pants down. As she did so, she started firing liquid s
t out of her arse. This sprayed the back of the door that she has missed with the sick, and her husband who was stood behind her trying to hold her hair back. Apparently, the bodily fluid tide went on for a good few minutes and the poor toilet was pretty much declared a biohazard zone.I don't know my colleague got his wife home that night. I also don't know what he said to the poor buggers who owned the house.
Ok, I'll 'fess up to 2 such incidents.
Diverted from the Hull to Rotterdam to the Newcastle - Amsterdam ferry due to an on board fire, we had to hoof it up to Tynmouth to catch said ferry. Leaving my wife's place of work near Hull to Tynmouth in around 90 minutes from memory, we regularily exceeded an indicated 185 on the A19 (chosen because of the lack of speed cameras). We caught the rest of the group up who had left at 1pm. On the ferry and a good all you can eat buffet, several beers, and polished off with 2 cans of Orange tango, to fend off any dehydration. All of this turned into a floro orange session of projectile vomit in the cabin's bathroom, to the point it was everywhere, dripping off the walls, ceiling, you name it, it was coated in Orange fizz. My wife packed, and left the cabin and spent the night in the lounge area, which apparently smelt better.
The other one was doing some training at a remote camp in Slovakia, miles from anywhere. We were training some of their technical experts in the use of some equipment they had bought, in a training camp in a forest. Being the last day, we knocked off around lunchtime and went into the village for a few beers, and back to the camp for a buffet, with lots of plum brandy (slivovich). The problem was that each of the 15 or so students wanted a drink with the 2 instructors, so we had 15 or so shots, they had one each. Don't remember going to my room, but remember getting up for a piss in the night.
I took an unsteady 1st step towards my bathroom, followed by another slightly longer / faster step which dramatically turned into an impromptu sprint. By the time I hit the wall at the end, or rather the sink, with my head I must have been doing mach2. I smashed the sink off the wall with my forehead (witnessed by the crescent shaped bruise in the morning), knocked myself unconscious and not only was I sick, I pissed and shat myself on the floor, amongst the debris of the once pristine bathroom.
When I came to it was like a crime scene, I and my clothes were caked in vomit and st, as were the walls and carpet, and the sink was hanging on it's flexi pipes. I made best I could of the mess, scraping it out of the carpet with my credit card, before bagging up my soiled clothes and trying (in vain) to clean up the room.
Later that morning, I could only apologize for the damage, and offered to pay, but they were having none of it, laughing it off as a post party accident.
Diverted from the Hull to Rotterdam to the Newcastle - Amsterdam ferry due to an on board fire, we had to hoof it up to Tynmouth to catch said ferry. Leaving my wife's place of work near Hull to Tynmouth in around 90 minutes from memory, we regularily exceeded an indicated 185 on the A19 (chosen because of the lack of speed cameras). We caught the rest of the group up who had left at 1pm. On the ferry and a good all you can eat buffet, several beers, and polished off with 2 cans of Orange tango, to fend off any dehydration. All of this turned into a floro orange session of projectile vomit in the cabin's bathroom, to the point it was everywhere, dripping off the walls, ceiling, you name it, it was coated in Orange fizz. My wife packed, and left the cabin and spent the night in the lounge area, which apparently smelt better.
The other one was doing some training at a remote camp in Slovakia, miles from anywhere. We were training some of their technical experts in the use of some equipment they had bought, in a training camp in a forest. Being the last day, we knocked off around lunchtime and went into the village for a few beers, and back to the camp for a buffet, with lots of plum brandy (slivovich). The problem was that each of the 15 or so students wanted a drink with the 2 instructors, so we had 15 or so shots, they had one each. Don't remember going to my room, but remember getting up for a piss in the night.
I took an unsteady 1st step towards my bathroom, followed by another slightly longer / faster step which dramatically turned into an impromptu sprint. By the time I hit the wall at the end, or rather the sink, with my head I must have been doing mach2. I smashed the sink off the wall with my forehead (witnessed by the crescent shaped bruise in the morning), knocked myself unconscious and not only was I sick, I pissed and shat myself on the floor, amongst the debris of the once pristine bathroom.
When I came to it was like a crime scene, I and my clothes were caked in vomit and s
t, as were the walls and carpet, and the sink was hanging on it's flexi pipes. I made best I could of the mess, scraping it out of the carpet with my credit card, before bagging up my soiled clothes and trying (in vain) to clean up the room. Later that morning, I could only apologize for the damage, and offered to pay, but they were having none of it, laughing it off as a post party accident.
alorotom said:
PurpleAki said:
alorotom said:
Reading some of the replies in this thread - just sounds like jealousy in many posts!
Here's one I've always found cringeworthy...Putting other people's opinions down as jealousy simply because they don't tally with your own.
Very 'cringe' indeed
No-one has posted in here out of jealousy despite your assertion they have.
PurpleAki said:
Plenty of people have agreed with my take on your comment and comments like it.
No-one has posted in here out of jealousy despite your assertion they have.
And I never said they did post out of jealousy, I merely suggested that some posts could sound like jealousyNo-one has posted in here out of jealousy despite your assertion they have.
Jesus people need to calm down, everyone's allowed and opinion, I'm not quashing anyone else's, simply noting my own thought
R1gtr said:
Dog Star said:
TwistingMyMelon said:
LOL mate, I saw that!!!! I did indeed think of this thread!!!!!!!!!!
Gt an FB link?
Dog Star said:
I was meaning for the cringe comments, not a pic. However having said that I'm pretty sure that said female knows full well that they'll have a load of saddos salivating after her; same occurs in the motorcycling world.
Link above the pic but it's a closed group so you may not be able to see them. Yeah I imagine she was looking for a reaction. When I saw it I immediately thought of this thread Dog Star said:
R1gtr said:
Dog Star said:
TwistingMyMelon said:
LOL mate, I saw that!!!! I did indeed think of this thread!!!!!!!!!!
Gt an FB link?
funkyrobot said:
DrSteveBrule said:
Abbreviations of car manufacturer's names used in conversation:
Bimmer / BM
Scooby
Fezza
Lambo
Maser
e:
Of that list Fezza irritates hugely,it sounds stupid and is also only 2 letters shorter than the full title.Bimmer / BM
Scooby
Fezza
Lambo
Maser
e:
I accept Lambo as the full word is a bit much for some to spell .
FYI Lamborghini......
exelero said:
Willy Nilly said:
Vocal Minority said:
Willy Nilly said:
XXX car is "a nice place to be". fk off.
I am going to be honest, sit in a Lada...then sit in a brand new Range Roverk off. Ok its not the snug at your local....but its there are many worse places to be....
My Jazz will feel like a Rolls Royce compared to a Lada. Again, "A nice place to be" make me cringe, it makes me think knob and it make me want to punch people in the face and I wouldn't tire doing so
What, this one?
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