Too selfish for a girlfriend?

[Greg_D]

Butter Face said:

FrankAbagnale said:

I did once end a relationship of about 9 months when the GF at the time went to grab her wallet before we went out for the evening and then thought it would be easier to leave it at home as she wouldn't need it.

Really?

i get this.

A relationship is about 2 people who have closely aligned morals/outlook on life.
Someone going out with absolutely no intention of making a contribution would not, IMO, be compatible with me long term. the behaviour would be symptomatic of other personality traits that i wouldn't personally find attractive. If i was seriously looking for a life partner, it would set the spidey senses tingling big time. (for the record, i have never accepted a penny contribution from any girlfriend for any meal/drinks ever...i'm quite an old fashioned person in that regard, but there would always have to be the offer)
you may as well call it early if someone doesn't look like they are going to work out...

[AndStilliRise]

StuTheGrouch said:

AndStilliRise said:

Petrolhead95 said:

How has this thread turned onto me?

Relax man, i am sure it wont be that bad. I am reading it now.

Standby...

You were one of the main contributors to that thread!

I do other things as well as PH, hard to believe.

AndStilliRise said:

Bored of this thread now....

OP, whatever you do will be the best for you. Enjoy your time, as none of us know if we have tomorrow.

[Exige77]

Greg_D said:

Butter Face said:

FrankAbagnale said:

I did once end a relationship of about 9 months when the GF at the time went to grab her wallet before we went out for the evening and then thought it would be easier to leave it at home as she wouldn't need it.

Really?

i get this.

A relationship is about 2 people who have closely aligned morals/outlook on life.
Someone going out with absolutely no intention of making a contribution would not, IMO, be compatible with me long term. the behaviour would be symptomatic of other personality traits that i wouldn't personally find attractive. If i was seriously looking for a life partner, it would set the spidey senses tingling big time. (for the record, i have never accepted a penny contribution from any girlfriend for any meal/drinks ever...i'm quite an old fashioned person in that regard, but there would always have to be the offer)
you may as well call it early if someone doesn't look like they are going to work out...

I think the OP said she was "willing" to contribute but her "whole life minimum wage outlook" would not allow her to sufficiently to satisfy him ?

[AndStilliRise]

So what happened OP?

[GT03ROB]

She won the lottery, decided he didn't contribute enough & dumped him

[RDMcG]

GT03ROB said:

She won the lottery, decided he didn't contribute enough & dumped him

Smart girl

[slipstream 1985]

so tell her you have been hiding a massive debt and can no longer afford much until it is paid off probably in a few years. Will she stick about?

[FrankAbagnale]

Greg_D said:

Butter Face said:

FrankAbagnale said:

I did once end a relationship of about 9 months when the GF at the time went to grab her wallet before we went out for the evening and then thought it would be easier to leave it at home as she wouldn't need it.

Really?

i get this.

A relationship is about 2 people who have closely aligned morals/outlook on life.
Someone going out with absolutely no intention of making a contribution would not, IMO, be compatible with me long term. the behaviour would be symptomatic of other personality traits that i wouldn't personally find attractive. If i was seriously looking for a life partner, it would set the spidey senses tingling big time. (for the record, i have never accepted a penny contribution from any girlfriend for any meal/drinks ever...i'm quite an old fashioned person in that regard, but there would always have to be the offer)
you may as well call it early if someone doesn't look like they are going to work out...

Yup, true story. It was more the straw that broke the camels back. Generally I felt she was unappreciative and didn't give a second thought that I work bloody hard to be in a position to treat her. Me paying became and expectation rather than a nicety and when she deduced that she didn't even need her wallet for a night out it was clear to me the dynamic of our relationship wasn't going to work.

The above is pretty much spot on.

[Plate spinner]

FrankAbagnale said:

Greg_D said:

Butter Face said:

FrankAbagnale said:

I did once end a relationship of about 9 months when the GF at the time went to grab her wallet before we went out for the evening and then thought it would be easier to leave it at home as she wouldn't need it.

Really?

i get this.

A relationship is about 2 people who have closely aligned morals/outlook on life.
Someone going out with absolutely no intention of making a contribution would not, IMO, be compatible with me long term. the behaviour would be symptomatic of other personality traits that i wouldn't personally find attractive. If i was seriously looking for a life partner, it would set the spidey senses tingling big time. (for the record, i have never accepted a penny contribution from any girlfriend for any meal/drinks ever...i'm quite an old fashioned person in that regard, but there would always have to be the offer)
you may as well call it early if someone doesn't look like they are going to work out...

Yup, true story. It was more the straw that broke the camels back. Generally I felt she was unappreciative and didn't give a second thought that I work bloody hard to be in a position to treat her. Me paying became and expectation rather than a nicety and when she deduced that she didn't even need her wallet for a night out it was clear to me the dynamic of our relationship wasn't going to work.

The above is pretty much spot on.

I totally get this too.

There's treating someone because you can and you want to vs being taken advantage of. There's a difference.

Personally I'd not date someone that couldn't / wouldn't pay their way in the world for the lifestyle they want to enjoy.
Most women I know / have met are hugely embarrassed if you offer to keep paying and want to clearly demonstrate that they are fully independent and are reliant on nobody. Works for me. I'm not looking for a dependant...

[FrankAbagnale]

Plate spinner said:

Personally I'd not date someone that couldn't / wouldn't pay their way in the world for the lifestyle they want to enjoy.

Only difference is that I would very happily date someone who couldn't afford to do the things I want to do for/with her, as long as it's appreciated and not an expectation.

An acceptable/equivalent salary is not important to me.

Edited by FrankAbagnale on Friday 9th June 12:39

[Plate spinner]

FrankAbagnale said:

Plate spinner said:

Personally I'd not date someone that couldn't / wouldn't pay their way in the world for the lifestyle they want to enjoy.

Only difference is that I would very happily date someone who couldn't afford to do the things I want to do for/with her, as long as it's appreciated and not an expectation.

An acceptable/equivalent salary is not important to me.

Edited by FrankAbagnale on Friday 9th June 12:39

We're on the same page.

[xjay1337]

Plate spinner said:

FrankAbagnale said:

Plate spinner said:

Personally I'd not date someone that couldn't / wouldn't pay their way in the world for the lifestyle they want to enjoy.

Only difference is that I would very happily date someone who couldn't afford to do the things I want to do for/with her, as long as it's appreciated and not an expectation.

An acceptable/equivalent salary is not important to me.

Edited by FrankAbagnale on Friday 9th June 12:39

We're on the same page.

I agree. I don't mind when it's appreciated. I don't like the expectation
restaurant We got out of the car and half way across the carpark, she goes "Oh I don't have my purse".... conveniently!!!!
Oh great do I have to pay again then?
Let's leave it then she says, probably knowing full well ....

[Du1point8]

FrankAbagnale said:

Plate spinner said:

Personally I'd not date someone that couldn't / wouldn't pay their way in the world for the lifestyle they want to enjoy.

Only difference is that I would very happily date someone who couldn't afford to do the things I want to do for/with her, as long as it's appreciated and not an expectation.

An acceptable/equivalent salary is not important to me.

Edited by FrankAbagnale on Friday 9th June 12:39

One of my Ex's was a microbiologist and never going to earn craploads of money, but she was working out a way to spot tuberculosis early so it wouldn't fk you up too bad and hopefully use the investigations to help with a cure.

Did I ever once ask her to put her hand in her purse and remind her its her turn to pay... Nope!!

Things like this to me are greater than money as I can never do them and she is going down the road of greater good rather than wanting to earn load of money.