Any other expectant Dads?

[Hub]

Lazadude said:

Agree with the above. 0-6 is the magic, ooh ah, so cute. I'm Currently at 14 months, she's slept through the night a max of three nights in a row since birth. Teething and snot is par for the course.

The joys! Our (nearly) one year old started nursery a month ago, and since then we have not had a snot, sick, or fever free weekend. Congestion means they can't breathe, and lose appetite - so multiple night wake ups are testing us when it was previously more settled. Add teething in the mix and it certainly gets tougher before it gets better!

OH's significant birthday the other weekend (with the kids!!) for example. Nice self catered lodge with spa facilities on site. Youngest has a fever, grizzly and just wants cuddles before we've even arrived, and eldest daughter (who has just started school) starts decorating her room with vomit within 2 hours of arrival. Chunders in her bed, and then the other while the first is being cleaned up, so we had to cut our losses the next morning. You can't make any plans with kids!

[Vaud]

Hub said:

The joys! Our (nearly) one year old started nursery a month ago, and since then we have not had a snot, sick, or fever free weekend. Congestion means they can't breathe, and lose appetite - so multiple night wake ups are testing us when it was previously more settled. Add teething in the mix and it certainly gets tougher before it gets better!

Our 15 month old has bronchiolitis causing vomiting from the phlegm and is cutting 8 teeth simultaneously. WHoop.

[Matt Cup]

I’m not an expectant but my 2 y/o has made me the proudest Dad this evening.

He was belting out songs on the Karaoke, here he was singing Mellow Yellow


P.S. I hope that everyone who is due a birth the mum has an easy one and a healthy baby!

[NuckyThompson]

Anyone taken shared paternity leave in conjunction with their partner?

My company offer it and although I’m pretty sure it’s just at statutory pay for me it’s unclear. The company offered enhanced maternity benefits such as longer on full pay.

More interested than anything but it would probably work for us if I could take a share of her maternity as she is self employed but we earn roughly the same.

Did a little research tonight and seen some couples take it to court as they haven’t been able to claim their shared parental leave via the mans place of work and any enhanced benefits for maternity at his company be bestowed upon him as he will be the primary career as a mark of sexual discrimination.

Only found a couple of cases but they’ve all lost as the argument is that the 20 odd weeks of maternity leave is for the mother to recover and regain her health. Which got me wondering does maternity leave not then apply to an adopting mother or gay couple?

[Gary29]

tomble22 said:

Wait until you get to a day left.....I am absolutely cacking it!!

We're in tomorrow morning @ 9:30am, likely that by this time tomorrow she'll be here and i'll be a Dad!!

This last 9 months has absolutely flown by!!

How did you get on???

We are now the proud owners of a baby girl, 6lb 5, born in Tuesday, she is currently sleeping on my chest as I’m typing this, pretty surreal! The mrs was mind blowing, contractions started midnight on Tuesday morning, I went to work a few miles away, got a call to say I’d better come home, that was 11:30am, I drove to the hospital at 10/10ths with a screaming partner in the passenger seat, like something from a movie, born 30 mins later, no time for birth plans or pain relief! She was unconscious when she was born, resuscitated by three doctors, scary is an understatement, but we’re all ok and home now, pretty crazy experience all round really.

Hope everyone else is getting on ok x

PS I’ve turned into an emotional wreck and feel like crying with happiness every time she opens her eyes and looks at me, or when I hear other people’s stories. I’ve got nothing but admiration and huge respect for those that haven’t been as fortunate as us and realise just how lucky we’ve been, never give up!

Edited by Gary29 on Friday 12th October 12:34

[The Moose]

Gary29 said:

How did you get on???

We are now the proud owners of a baby girl, 6lb 5, born in Tuesday, she is currently sleeping on my chest as I’m typing this, pretty surreal! The mrs was mind blowing, contractions started midnight on Tuesday morning, I went to work a few miles away, got a call to say I’d better come home, that was 11:30am, I drove to the hospital at 10/10ths with a screaming partner in the passenger seat, like something from a movie, born 30 mins later, no time for birth plans or pain relief! She was unconscious when she was born, resuscitated by three doctors, scary is an understatement, but we’re all ok and home now, pretty crazy experience all round really.

Hope everyone else is getting on ok x

PS I’ve turned into an emotional wreck and feel like crying with happiness every time she opens her eyes and looks at me, or when I hear other people’s stories. I’ve got nothing but admiration and huge respect for those that haven’t been as fortunate as us and realise just how lucky we’ve been, never give up!

Edited by Gary29 on Friday 12th October 12:34

Congrats! Enjoy

[DuncB7]

Gary29 said:

PS I’ve turned into an emotional wreck

Although only 9 weeks into this whole parenting thing myself, I'm convinced ones emotions are damaged irreparably.

I've found simple events such as watching DIY SOS very difficult to cope with emotionally, particularly so if children are involved.

[Jonnny]

Gary29 said:

tomble22 said:

Wait until you get to a day left.....I am absolutely cacking it!!

We're in tomorrow morning @ 9:30am, likely that by this time tomorrow she'll be here and i'll be a Dad!!

This last 9 months has absolutely flown by!!

How did you get on???

We are now the proud owners of a baby girl, 6lb 5, born in Tuesday, she is currently sleeping on my chest as I’m typing this, pretty surreal! The mrs was mind blowing, contractions started midnight on Tuesday morning, I went to work a few miles away, got a call to say I’d better come home, that was 11:30am, I drove to the hospital at 10/10ths with a screaming partner in the passenger seat, like something from a movie, born 30 mins later, no time for birth plans or pain relief! She was unconscious when she was born, resuscitated by three doctors, scary is an understatement, but we’re all ok and home now, pretty crazy experience all round really.

Hope everyone else is getting on ok x

PS I’ve turned into an emotional wreck and feel like crying with happiness every time she opens her eyes and looks at me, or when I hear other people’s stories. I’ve got nothing but admiration and huge respect for those that haven’t been as fortunate as us and realise just how lucky we’ve been, never give up!

Edited by Gary29 on Friday 12th October 12:34

Congratulation Gary! Sounds scary, but bet it feels amazing afterwards.

We're 32+1 now, it's flying past.. When you think they could feasibly come any day now is exciting, but hopefully not for a while yet.

Mrs had her first Braxton Hicks yesterday, had to google what they'd feel like - Seems it was those, hopefully this will wake her up to the realisation it's coming up quickly.

[havoc]

DuncB7 said:

Although only 9 weeks into this whole parenting thing myself, I'm convinced ones emotions are amplified irreparably.

EFA.

And yes, think most of us are in that boat. The old typical "blokeishness" / "laddishness" is still there, but it takes a lot less to break through the shell than it used to...

[Jim the Sunderer]

Vaud said:

For those whose partners are having c-sections remember that it is significant operation and mum will be doubly wiped out for months (op + baby)... mums often try to "over do it" feeling a responsibility as a new mum to do more BUT it is very very easy to be set back in recovery just by twisting the wrong way or picking something up.

My partner is having one of those on Monday, she's a proper stubborn mare too so I expect she'll be lifting piles of stuff all the time.

[Vaud]

Jim the Sunderer said:

My partner is having one of those on Monday, she's a proper stubborn mare too so I expect she'll be lifting piles of stuff all the time.

I found it best to compromise - if she really wants to do stuff then make it stuff she can do sat down - pairing socks, chopping veg, etc

[Blown2CV]

anyone else on here have experience of missus giving birth by planned C-section when you have a two year old knocking around? Parents are 30-60 mins away too so they cannot occupy the place for a few weeks to help! Mrs 2CV gave me absolute st today because i admitted i was a bit scared about how I might handle it, as I will end up spending lots of time with my daughter (toddler) which is nice, but i am panicking about being the only one in the house who cannot get any sleep at all...

[havoc]

Blown2CV said:

anyone else on here have experience of missus giving birth by planned C-section when you have a two year old knocking around? Parents are 30-60 mins away too so they cannot occupy the place for a few weeks to help! Mrs 2CV gave me absolute st today because i admitted i was a bit scared about how I might handle it, as I will end up spending lots of time with my daughter (toddler) which is nice, but i am panicking about being the only one in the house who cannot get any sleep at all...

Not a 2y.o. no, but we've just been through C-section #2 with little local family support.

1) How much time can you get off work? Not having to work makes a big difference as you can afford to be on autopilot, to some degree.
2) Is #1 in nursery at all? i.e. will you get any days respite during the week?
3) Any opportunity for play-dates for #1? Or would she feel happy doing a sleep-over with grandparents for a couple of days? (Not straight away, but maybe 2nd week...)
4) Does #1 still nap during the day? If so, the old rule still applies - sleep when they sleep. If not, have you tried giving her alcohol*?!?
5) Get #1 involved in #2's life as much as practical. Joint play, joint cuddles, stories with baby around, etc... Make her feel part of it as much as possible, minimise the jealousy risk. Esp. if she's a mummy's girl at the mo'...
6) Try and arrange a daddy/daughter day out somewhere she likes. Not a long day (for several reasons), but to remind her she's still your #1 girl.


If Mrs2CV is having a section; then:-
- She'll be in hospital for 2-3 days (they like kicking them out ASAP now)
- She may not want anyone around for the second week anyway (baby blues kick in +/- day-7 typically)
- She MAY be mobile a lot quicker than Vaud suggests. Becs' was moving freely after about 2 weeks and trying to do most not-too-heavy stuff (carefully). Was still tired and recovering though...
- Make sure she takes proper care of the wound. Help her if needed. Last thing she needs is that getting infected...



* Joke. Honestly...it's a joke.

[hyphen]

Blown2CV said:

anyone else on here have experience of missus giving birth by planned C-section when you have a two year old knocking around? Parents are 30-60 mins away too so they cannot occupy the place for a few weeks to help! Mrs 2CV gave me absolute st today because i admitted i was a bit scared about how I might handle it, as I will end up spending lots of time with my daughter (toddler) which is nice, but i am panicking about being the only one in the house who cannot get any sleep at all...

Perhaps hire a https://doula.org.uk or other help for a few weeks? They have apps and all sorts nowadays.

Edited by hyphen on Friday 12th October 23:06

[juggsy]

Just thought I’d jump back in this thread after a couple of past posts as the missus and I are now expecting no2, due in March next year. Pretty excited although it’s a very different experience to the first as a lot of conversations are dominated by what we will do different this time (feeding etc). Whilst we found out with the first we’re also planning on keeping the gender a surprise (20 week scan next week). My company changed their paternity policy last year meaning I get 12 weeks off on full which I’m really excited about, as we can spend some quality time together as well as be around more to deal with kid 1.

We’re also planning to move our 2yo into a new room as part of his transition to big brother, as his current room is more ideal as a nursery. Any tips on how best to prepare our first born so he doesn’t feel left out/jealous etc. when no.2 arrives?

[morrisk1]

juggsy said:

Just thought I’d jump back in this thread after a couple of past posts as the missus and I are now expecting no2, due in March next year. Pretty excited although it’s a very different experience to the first as a lot of conversations are dominated by what we will do different this time (feeding etc). Whilst we found out with the first we’re also planning on keeping the gender a surprise (20 week scan next week). My company changed their paternity policy last year meaning I get 12 weeks off on full which I’m really excited about, as we can spend some quality time together as well as be around more to deal with kid 1.

We’re also planning to move our 2yo into a new room as part of his transition to big brother, as his current room is more ideal as a nursery. Any tips on how best to prepare our first born so he doesn’t feel left out/jealous etc. when no.2 arrives?

First off, congratulations!

Our first was 3.5 when the little one was born in Jan. She found it really hard getting used to having a new little sister, but that's not to say she wasn't massively excited and has so much love for her! It didn't help she had glue ear either so everything was louder/harder and that took a few months to get sorted. Just do the obvious, lots of praise and attention. We found stickers and stars earned for rewards worked well but obviously need to be careful not to spoil her.

It's now over 9 months gone and they are sat playing together watching Hey Duggee. She's a great little helper and I can't wait for them to really be able to play together properly (sharing is still an ongoing issue!)

I feel for the non sleepers. #1 didn't sleep properly until she was about 2. #2 is the total opposite and is the perfect baby. She's slept through 7-6ish after a few weeks. If they were all like her I'm sure we'd have had more but we know the reality!

[Jonnny]

I've heard a present from newborn to sibling can help too, as they'll have all of the attention the first week or so.

[Ollerton57]

It looks like number 2 is arriving sooner than expected. Due date is 17 November but the baby isn’t growing as quickly as she should so pre-op next Thursday and out in the first half of the following week.

Wife is a bit gutted as she was hoping for a natural birth this time (last baby was breach). Still, I’ll have until the New Year off work so can do all the lifting and entertaining of the 2 year old!..

[Vaud]

Jonnny said:

I've heard a present from newborn to sibling can help too, as they'll have all of the attention the first week or so.

Yes, we did this. Also making the older one a “grown up” and fetching nappies or wipes. Get them involved - though 2 may be a touch young.

[juggsy]

morrisk1 said:

First off, congratulations!

Our first was 3.5 when the little one was born in Jan. She found it really hard getting used to having a new little sister, but that's not to say she wasn't massively excited and has so much love for her! It didn't help she had glue ear either so everything was louder/harder and that took a few months to get sorted. Just do the obvious, lots of praise and attention. We found stickers and stars earned for rewards worked well but obviously need to be careful not to spoil her.

It's now over 9 months gone and they are sat playing together watching Hey Duggee. She's a great little helper and I can't wait for them to really be able to play together properly (sharing is still an ongoing issue!)

I feel for the non sleepers. #1 didn't sleep properly until she was about 2. #2 is the total opposite and is the perfect baby. She's slept through 7-6ish after a few weeks. If they were all like her I'm sure we'd have had more but we know the reality!

Thanks, some great ideas there. Hey Duggee is cracking, Space Badge all the way.

No.1 will be 3 when no.2 arrives so we’re hoping he’ll be there to help and get involved (nappy changing is probably wishful thinking).

Jonnny said:

I've heard a present from newborn to sibling can help too, as they'll have all of the attention the first week or so.

Like the idea of a present too from no.2, sounds like a great idea.