Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
Congrats on the new arrival Tomble!
Saying that if you know the seller (good friend etc) and can guarantee it’s not been in an accident, shouldn’t be an issue as long as it is right size, although newer ones typically have a few more safety features (side impact/isofix/iSize etc.) I genuinely hate buying car seats as it’s such a minefield of stuff to consider.
CharlieH89 said:
Wife most definitely doesn’t want a second hand car seat. I can’t see the big deal in it but I don’t know, I guess you can’t be too sure and spending £100 more or so guarantees that it is brand new
Typically the reason people say avoid second hand car seats is you don’t know whether it’s been in a car accident or not. If it’s been in one it’s immediately written off whether obviously damaged or not, and I can see the logic in this. We were in an accident a couple of months ago, rear ended quite badly, insurance immediately paid out for a new car seat despite no damage to the seats itself (car was another story)Saying that if you know the seller (good friend etc) and can guarantee it’s not been in an accident, shouldn’t be an issue as long as it is right size, although newer ones typically have a few more safety features (side impact/isofix/iSize etc.) I genuinely hate buying car seats as it’s such a minefield of stuff to consider.
Edited by juggsy on Sunday 14th October 18:38
juggsy said:
Typically the reason people say avoid second hand car seats is you don’t know whether it’s been in a car accident or not. If it’s been in one it’s immediately written off whether obviously damaged or not, and I can see the logic in this. We were in an accident a couple of months ago, rear ended, insurance immediately paid out for a new car seat despite no damage.
Saying that if you know the seller (good friend etc) and can guarantee it’s not been in an accident, shouldn’t be an issue as long as it is right size, although newer ones typically have a few more safety features (side impact/isofix/iSize etc.) I genuinely hate buying car seats as it’s such a minefield of stuff to consider.
I think he was referring to the base, rather than the seat?Saying that if you know the seller (good friend etc) and can guarantee it’s not been in an accident, shouldn’t be an issue as long as it is right size, although newer ones typically have a few more safety features (side impact/isofix/iSize etc.) I genuinely hate buying car seats as it’s such a minefield of stuff to consider.
Our little boy arrived last Thursday. My wife’s waters broke while I was at work (9 days early). We had planned an ECV as he was breach but he came a few days ahead of that. We decided on an elective c section having arrived at hospital around 4PM he was born at 10:30PM.
The whole team at Leeds General Infirmary were outstanding.
The whole team at Leeds General Infirmary were outstanding.
Congrats Nammynake. 
Did you do the "spirited" drive to the hospital from work? I still remember my drive, A3/M25 junction to parked up at the Royal Surrey in under 6 minutes.
(Preface this rant with background of mum is a sister in a different hosp, but covers adults. I trust her when she says we need to see a doc/A+E whatever. Generally very logical / doesn't go into A+E for no reason)
Little ones been puking everything she takes up, milk, water, expressed breastmilk, all types of food. Blood droplets in yellow/green bile vomit so A+E we go as blood is bad. Have now been in and out 3 times over yesterday and today, got home at 3am this morning, now in work for 6:30. The joys.
Luckily mums days off so not losing childminder fees, hospital consultants starting to annoy though.
Into A+E at 0100, traiaged straight away and have to wait for the doctor. apparently only one doctor covering all 4 A+E depts (wtf...). First doctor (4 hours later, for a puking bits of blood baby...) says yes, admittance to childs ward - you need to be in 100%. another 3 hours later, waiting in childs ward for a different doctor (who has been crash called away - so some of the delay is ok, I mean Id rather they sort whomever needed the crash call in Maternity or SCBU). Given anti-emetics (puke stoppers) on the ward whilst we wait and then once seen (now gone 7am) they say, "So hasn't thrown up in a couple hours, go home and monitor. As long as she's taking some fluid in, and not constantly vomiting then she's ok.buy some dioralyte and see GP later if fluid intake stays low"
Drugs wear off 8 hours later and vomiting starts all over again (big surprise there..), plus she's slept through the whole day on and off which is wrong. She barely sleeps through the night nevermind the day as well. She's also unable to walk straight (well as straight as normal). See GP and they say keep an eye, if she gets worse back into A+E, shouldn't have been discharged really. (Never mind the fact the discharge paperwork only says "monitored vomiting" and that's it...),
Come midnight this morning, we're back into A+E. Same staff (who were great to be fair to them, nurses generally are though) so all quickly through the admin, and peads consultant is already down in another cubicle so nurse grabs him before we even hit triage to save the future wait. Nurse puts us through as a "failed discharge" which can only be bad on the wards paperwork, consultant comes in and says two options, admittance or home. As shes not overly dehydrated at this stage (The fact she's not drank anything in over 24 hours, and is still vomiting at this point didn't seem to matter), take her home and keep trying fluids little and often, if she doesn't improve come back. Doesn't want to admit to ward again as it would involve canulising little one and that's destressing for her (well it's not, as shes had plenty of bloods taken before due to other issues but what do we know).
Consultant thinks its viral gastro so theres nothing but symptom management, but that doesnt fit at all. Only the one symptom (vomiting), none of the others. and As dehydration is mild (I have no idea how little one does it with zero intake and constant out) we get sent home and told no fluids tonight to prevent more vomit (which is stupid, if the little one is dehydrated and wants to drink, we're not going to refuse her..).
The cynical part of me thinks by not admitting, it means they can stop having the "failed discharge" note on their records/SLAs/Whatever.
So now shes at home, refusing any intake as she doesnt feel well and just getting more dehydrated. We're playing the waiting game now of waiting for her to be dehydrated "enough" that they'll take her in.
/rant
Did you do the "spirited" drive to the hospital from work? I still remember my drive, A3/M25 junction to parked up at the Royal Surrey in under 6 minutes. (Preface this rant with background of mum is a sister in a different hosp, but covers adults. I trust her when she says we need to see a doc/A+E whatever. Generally very logical / doesn't go into A+E for no reason)
Little ones been puking everything she takes up, milk, water, expressed breastmilk, all types of food. Blood droplets in yellow/green bile vomit so A+E we go as blood is bad. Have now been in and out 3 times over yesterday and today, got home at 3am this morning, now in work for 6:30. The joys.
Luckily mums days off so not losing childminder fees, hospital consultants starting to annoy though.
Into A+E at 0100, traiaged straight away and have to wait for the doctor. apparently only one doctor covering all 4 A+E depts (wtf...). First doctor (4 hours later, for a puking bits of blood baby...) says yes, admittance to childs ward - you need to be in 100%. another 3 hours later, waiting in childs ward for a different doctor (who has been crash called away - so some of the delay is ok, I mean Id rather they sort whomever needed the crash call in Maternity or SCBU). Given anti-emetics (puke stoppers) on the ward whilst we wait and then once seen (now gone 7am) they say, "So hasn't thrown up in a couple hours, go home and monitor. As long as she's taking some fluid in, and not constantly vomiting then she's ok.buy some dioralyte and see GP later if fluid intake stays low"
Drugs wear off 8 hours later and vomiting starts all over again (big surprise there..), plus she's slept through the whole day on and off which is wrong. She barely sleeps through the night nevermind the day as well. She's also unable to walk straight (well as straight as normal). See GP and they say keep an eye, if she gets worse back into A+E, shouldn't have been discharged really. (Never mind the fact the discharge paperwork only says "monitored vomiting" and that's it...),
Come midnight this morning, we're back into A+E. Same staff (who were great to be fair to them, nurses generally are though) so all quickly through the admin, and peads consultant is already down in another cubicle so nurse grabs him before we even hit triage to save the future wait. Nurse puts us through as a "failed discharge" which can only be bad on the wards paperwork, consultant comes in and says two options, admittance or home. As shes not overly dehydrated at this stage (The fact she's not drank anything in over 24 hours, and is still vomiting at this point didn't seem to matter), take her home and keep trying fluids little and often, if she doesn't improve come back. Doesn't want to admit to ward again as it would involve canulising little one and that's destressing for her (well it's not, as shes had plenty of bloods taken before due to other issues but what do we know).
Consultant thinks its viral gastro so theres nothing but symptom management, but that doesnt fit at all. Only the one symptom (vomiting), none of the others. and As dehydration is mild (I have no idea how little one does it with zero intake and constant out) we get sent home and told no fluids tonight to prevent more vomit (which is stupid, if the little one is dehydrated and wants to drink, we're not going to refuse her..).
The cynical part of me thinks by not admitting, it means they can stop having the "failed discharge" note on their records/SLAs/Whatever.
So now shes at home, refusing any intake as she doesnt feel well and just getting more dehydrated. We're playing the waiting game now of waiting for her to be dehydrated "enough" that they'll take her in.
/rant
Blown2CV said:
anyone else on here have experience of missus giving birth by planned C-section when you have a two year old knocking around? Parents are 30-60 mins away too so they cannot occupy the place for a few weeks to help! Mrs 2CV gave me absolute s
t today because i admitted i was a bit scared about how I might handle it, as I will end up spending lots of time with my daughter (toddler) which is nice, but i am panicking about being the only one in the house who cannot get any sleep at all...
t today because i admitted i was a bit scared about how I might handle it, as I will end up spending lots of time with my daughter (toddler) which is nice, but i am panicking about being the only one in the house who cannot get any sleep at all...
Our daughter was just over 2 and a half when her brother was born by planned C-section.
Both sets of grandparents are over 90 minutes drive away with no other family in the area.
It's absolutely ok to be scared, although you can understand why your getting short shrift from the Mrs as she's the one having abdominal surgery with the long recover time :P
There are a few things you can put in place to make life easier for you.
If your daughter is only in nursery a few days a week, speak to the nursery to see if they can take her in for a couple more additional days a week during the first month after newborn arrives. Best to do this sooner rather than later as many nurseries need a few months notice to adjust staff rotas. It will give you the breathing space you need for a few weeks whilst your wife is recovering from the surgery and less mobile than she'd like to be.
Do have at least one set of parents on emergency standby and cleared with the nursery for pickup of your daughter on the day of the elective C-section. You can never be sure if things might get delayed by someone else having an emergency section ahead of you or other unexpected complications. You don't need the additional pressure of panicing to reach the nursery before closing time under these circumstances.
Get your food stocked into the house before the big day and make sure there's plenty of snacks and things for both yourself and your daughter. You may find yourself waiting around a lot at the hospital or having to squeeze in food when you can.
Although it may be normal for a C-section patient to be discharged from the ward after a couple of days, it's not unusual for this to be extended due to complications. Sometimes it can take a few days for the plumbing to work again after an epidural, so your wife may experience difficulties which mean she and the newborn have to stay at the hospital for a few days extra.
Do plan nursery pickups and hospital trips with your daughter around this time and take into account food / changing times.
Not sure when Mrs 2CVs due date is but if you have any weekends left before then do set aside entire days for you to care for your daughter from wake-up to bedtime without assistance from Mrs 2CV. This should include everything from breakfast, dressing, trips out, meals for the little one and for the grown ups and bathtimes. It will give you the chance to have a dry run at what life may need to be like for at least the few days following the birth.
Try and follow a sort of routine (get up, change, breakfast, playtiime, snack, nap (whilst you shower), lunch, playground, snack, play, dinner, bathtime, bedtime, dinner for the adults) and see where you may need to adjust things before the newborn arrives.
I was lucky in that I was already working from home 1 day a week looking after my daughter before the newborn arrived so that sort of routine was already established.
Above all, there is no shame in asking for help from others!
eltawater said:
If your daughter is only in nursery a few days a week, speak to the nursery to see if they can take her in for a couple more additional days a week during the first month after newborn arrives. Best to do this sooner rather than later as many nurseries need a few months notice to adjust staff rotas. It will give you the breathing space you need for a few weeks whilst your wife is recovering from the surgery and less mobile than she'd like to be.
Do have at least one set of parents on emergency standby and cleared with the nursery for pickup of your daughter on the day of the elective C-section. You can never be sure if things might get delayed by someone else having an emergency section ahead of you or other unexpected complications. You don't need the additional pressure of panicing to reach the nursery before closing time under these circumstances.
Plus you can't take a child into a labour ward (prebirth) IIRC. Do have at least one set of parents on emergency standby and cleared with the nursery for pickup of your daughter on the day of the elective C-section. You can never be sure if things might get delayed by someone else having an emergency section ahead of you or other unexpected complications. You don't need the additional pressure of panicing to reach the nursery before closing time under these circumstances.
eltawater said:
Blown2CV said:
anyone else on here have experience of missus giving birth by planned C-section when you have a two year old knocking around? Parents are 30-60 mins away too so they cannot occupy the place for a few weeks to help! Mrs 2CV gave me absolute st today because i admitted i was a bit scared about how I might handle it, as I will end up spending lots of time with my daughter (toddler) which is nice, but i am panicking about being the only one in the house who cannot get any sleep at all...
t today because i admitted i was a bit scared about how I might handle it, as I will end up spending lots of time with my daughter (toddler) which is nice, but i am panicking about being the only one in the house who cannot get any sleep at all...Our daughter was just over 2 and a half when her brother was born by planned C-section.
Both sets of grandparents are over 90 minutes drive away with no other family in the area.
It's absolutely ok to be scared, although you can understand why your getting short shrift from the Mrs as she's the one having abdominal surgery with the long recover time :P
There are a few things you can put in place to make life easier for you.
If your daughter is only in nursery a few days a week, speak to the nursery to see if they can take her in for a couple more additional days a week during the first month after newborn arrives. Best to do this sooner rather than later as many nurseries need a few months notice to adjust staff rotas. It will give you the breathing space you need for a few weeks whilst your wife is recovering from the surgery and less mobile than she'd like to be.
Do have at least one set of parents on emergency standby and cleared with the nursery for pickup of your daughter on the day of the elective C-section. You can never be sure if things might get delayed by someone else having an emergency section ahead of you or other unexpected complications. You don't need the additional pressure of panicing to reach the nursery before closing time under these circumstances.
Get your food stocked into the house before the big day and make sure there's plenty of snacks and things for both yourself and your daughter. You may find yourself waiting around a lot at the hospital or having to squeeze in food when you can.
Although it may be normal for a C-section patient to be discharged from the ward after a couple of days, it's not unusual for this to be extended due to complications. Sometimes it can take a few days for the plumbing to work again after an epidural, so your wife may experience difficulties which mean she and the newborn have to stay at the hospital for a few days extra.
Do plan nursery pickups and hospital trips with your daughter around this time and take into account food / changing times.
Not sure when Mrs 2CVs due date is but if you have any weekends left before then do set aside entire days for you to care for your daughter from wake-up to bedtime without assistance from Mrs 2CV. This should include everything from breakfast, dressing, trips out, meals for the little one and for the grown ups and bathtimes. It will give you the chance to have a dry run at what life may need to be like for at least the few days following the birth.
Try and follow a sort of routine (get up, change, breakfast, playtiime, snack, nap (whilst you shower), lunch, playground, snack, play, dinner, bathtime, bedtime, dinner for the adults) and see where you may need to adjust things before the newborn arrives.
I was lucky in that I was already working from home 1 day a week looking after my daughter before the newborn arrived so that sort of routine was already established.
Above all, there is no shame in asking for help from others!
It's not that looking after my daughter is alien to me, I can do anything and everything, and regularly have her for whole days on my own - that isn't an issue.
The main thing is how to cope with it all on no sleep, as everyone else can sleep as much as they want!!
Blown2CV said:
The main thing is how to cope with it all on no sleep, as everyone else can sleep as much as they want!!
It's very hard.Your wife may want to consider cosleeping or an attached basket with the little one and you sleep in the spare room/sofa/butlers annex (this is PH after all).
Cosleeping means that she wouldn't be up and down to a cot, though moving the baby about is still hard for the first few weeks (esp twisting motions)
It is a divisive topic but midwives seem to be more pragmatic these days.. and it is very common in other cultures.
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