Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
TwistingMyMelon said:
We never used a monitor with the past kids, we have a cheapo audio one now as our latest baby is in the next room
Its quite handy to amplify when they are up/crying and is pretty reliable
This - audio only is fine, and as above, not rushing in at the first cry is good advice - they can self-settle sometimes from a surprisingly early age...Its quite handy to amplify when they are up/crying and is pretty reliable
Jonnny said:
It does surprise me, that PH is recommending not getting a new gadget! 
the annoying thing is when you go browse the f
king things in mothercare, the marketing is all aimed at blokes!! Most of the product marketing for other baby things are understandably pitched at Mums but the gadget stuff is Dads... why would you buy a stty little £30 one when you can have a £200 one that has 4 camera CCTV, a mobile app, DAB radio and a piss detector??Also there is a bottle warmer type thing that is styled like a posh coffee machine... looks nice on your kitchen counter tops i guess. Will take more than that to pretend you don't have kids though.....
Steve Evil said:
I'll go against the grain and say I'm glad we have a video one, very useful to quickly check on our two year old without having to go into his room, no need to watch the video constantly though.
yes well you may not, but unfortunately people do. I have seen it with my own eyes... other people doing it, that is. Even when they were making an effort (supposedly) not to, and were in fact at our house for dinner with their kid upstairs. I've also heard other people expressing regret that they'd got a video one for the same reasons. It's not illegal to pop in and see them.Blown2CV said:
yes well you may not, but unfortunately people do. I have seen it with my own eyes... other people doing it, that is. Even when they were making an effort (supposedly) not to, and were in fact at our house for dinner with their kid upstairs. I've also heard other people expressing regret that they'd got a video one for the same reasons. It's not illegal to pop in and see them.
Yeah I can see how that happens. Still pop in and see him before I go to bed myself, more just to watch him sleep than anything and see how peaceful he is, quick check to see if he's managed to wet the bed too as he's got a habit of holding onto his bits whilst he sleeps.HootersGsy said:
We've got a video one that was given to us, six weeks in and all I've done is charge the battery on the monitor unit. We're never that far away from her that it seems necessary to plug it in!
This is why I like the idea of the iBaby unit that is WiFi enabled, we can view it on any phone/iPad/Laptop etc. 
Well....just thought I’d give some thoughts about the first (nearly) couple of weeks of parenthood!!
Generally all going ok, we had the 10 day midwife appointment on Sunday and baby Ruby is back over her birth weight already, feeding well, peeing well, pooing well etc.
Sleep has been a bit of a different story. Out of the first 12 days I think we’ve had 5 where she hasn’t slept at all from about midnight through to 6am. Having said that, the last 2 nights she has slept from around 11pm to around 3am, then from say 4am to 7/8am. I’m hoping yjis may now be a settled pattern but time well tell.
Mrs Tomble is doing ok but having struggled with anxiety before pregnancy, it’s raised its head again post birth. She seems to get really anxious around late afternoon about her not sleeping at night and just can’t seem to reason with the fact that she’s a baby and will do what she wants. It’s led to me sleeping on the sofa with the baby in her Moses basket next to me so that she can go upstairs and try and get some sleep, which she desperately needs having just given birth. She also developed some form of virus and mastitis which led to her being back in A&E last Monday night.
Just finding it hard at the moment as I can’t seem to help her. She has the health visitor coming on Thursday so hopefully she will talk to her about it and they can help. I’m also back at work on Thursday and I think she’s worried about that as well. I don’t tend to worry about things at all which probably doesn’t help in this situation (I.e. I’m handling it all ok and just rolling with it), but not sure on what I can do about that.
Apart from all the above, it’s awesome to see her growing away, seeing her be able to recognise faces and develop. She’s also sat next to me now ready for watching City tonight and I’ve been brainwashing her playing her U2, won’t be long and I can drag her along to the Etihad and U2 concerts (hopefully, time dependant!).
Thanks for listening!
Generally all going ok, we had the 10 day midwife appointment on Sunday and baby Ruby is back over her birth weight already, feeding well, peeing well, pooing well etc.
Sleep has been a bit of a different story. Out of the first 12 days I think we’ve had 5 where she hasn’t slept at all from about midnight through to 6am. Having said that, the last 2 nights she has slept from around 11pm to around 3am, then from say 4am to 7/8am. I’m hoping yjis may now be a settled pattern but time well tell.
Mrs Tomble is doing ok but having struggled with anxiety before pregnancy, it’s raised its head again post birth. She seems to get really anxious around late afternoon about her not sleeping at night and just can’t seem to reason with the fact that she’s a baby and will do what she wants. It’s led to me sleeping on the sofa with the baby in her Moses basket next to me so that she can go upstairs and try and get some sleep, which she desperately needs having just given birth. She also developed some form of virus and mastitis which led to her being back in A&E last Monday night.
Just finding it hard at the moment as I can’t seem to help her. She has the health visitor coming on Thursday so hopefully she will talk to her about it and they can help. I’m also back at work on Thursday and I think she’s worried about that as well. I don’t tend to worry about things at all which probably doesn’t help in this situation (I.e. I’m handling it all ok and just rolling with it), but not sure on what I can do about that.
Apart from all the above, it’s awesome to see her growing away, seeing her be able to recognise faces and develop. She’s also sat next to me now ready for watching City tonight and I’ve been brainwashing her playing her U2, won’t be long and I can drag her along to the Etihad and U2 concerts (hopefully, time dependant!).
Thanks for listening!
Gary29 said:
tomble22 said:
Wait until you get to a day left.....I am absolutely cacking it!!
We're in tomorrow morning @ 9:30am, likely that by this time tomorrow she'll be here and i'll be a Dad!!
This last 9 months has absolutely flown by!!
How did you get on???We're in tomorrow morning @ 9:30am, likely that by this time tomorrow she'll be here and i'll be a Dad!!
This last 9 months has absolutely flown by!!
We are now the proud owners of a baby girl, 6lb 5, born in Tuesday, she is currently sleeping on my chest as I’m typing this, pretty surreal! The mrs was mind blowing, contractions started midnight on Tuesday morning, I went to work a few miles away, got a call to say I’d better come home, that was 11:30am, I drove to the hospital at 10/10ths with a screaming partner in the passenger seat, like something from a movie, born 30 mins later, no time for birth plans or pain relief! She was unconscious when she was born, resuscitated by three doctors, scary is an understatement, but we’re all ok and home now, pretty crazy experience all round really.
Hope everyone else is getting on ok x
PS I’ve turned into an emotional wreck and feel like crying with happiness every time she opens her eyes and looks at me, or when I hear other people’s stories. I’ve got nothing but admiration and huge respect for those that haven’t been as fortunate as us and realise just how lucky we’ve been, never give up!
Edited by Gary29 on Friday 12th October 12:34
Agree with the emotional thing. I’ve never been particularly emotional, but I was crying for no reason for a couple of days after. Driving home the day she was to feed the cat, singing along to a U2 song blubbering isn’t a good look!
Back to work this week though which will be a kick up the arse!
Jonnny said:
Sounds hard, but good you've noticed it and hopefully the health visitor can help too.
Use PH as your place to vent, it helps us new/to be Dad's with what things to expect too.
Thanks Jonnny, certainly not that much of a hard luck story, probably the hardest thing at the moment is managing mums anxiety, the little one is fairly straightforward. Any upset always revolves around food, dirty nappy, wind or all the above. She had an absolute ripper of a poo earlier today, it’s a,axing how so much can come out of something so little!Use PH as your place to vent, it helps us new/to be Dad's with what things to expect too.
Funny thing is, before baby etc, I used to think our cat was hard work....how spectacularly wrong was I!!!
My other half is still struggling with "baby blues" 14 months post birth... There is a whole wealth of support options available and she needs to not be afraid to use them. Things like Jasmine or CBT can all be done on the phone rather than in person, and sometimes giving her an hour on the phone to a complete stranger to vent at works wonders.
Hormones also are balancing out post birth, and then again when you wean off boob milk (current cause of OH I suspect). Only thing I've found is to be available when needed and do whatever little things you can. Any sleep deprivation you are feeling, remember mum is just as bad if not worse while her body repairs itself from the ordeal of birth. It's a long road with lots of feeling useless/helpless along the way.
My NHS woes continued over the weekend (in spoiler tags so you don't have to read if you're not interested), I was working all weekend so I took Mum and Baby to MILs for some helping hand on Friday (Southampton, circa hour drive each way). Come Saturday night, get told she's still vomiting so they are going to see OOH GP (Apt for 0800 Sun). GP says one ear is a bit red, must be ear infection, so have some Antibiotics and if she is still the same after the Moxi, then to go to A+E.
Couple doses later and she wont keep it down, so A+E we go. (10pm Sun).
Were triaged instantly and get told its a 2-3hr wait, fun ensues as the waiting room was vile. What is it with parents not Tidying up. There were drink cans, spilt drink/food, bits of sweets etc everywhere. People just dumped the rubbish or whatever. Having a "allergy" baby means we can't just let her play (not that she wanted to, just wanted to cuddle), and the floor was so vile we weren't putting her down.
At 2:30ish we get called through to the treatment rooms, and due to dehydration are seen by a consultant straight away.They decide to start Diagnosis from scratch, as 10 days of vomiting isn't right. We try another fluid challenge, (we failed dramatically at RSCH as it was dioralyte - no wonder children don't like it) but this time its Apple juice/water mix which goes down easily.
Onto childs ward at 0600, various blood tests. Oh and getting a urine sample from a female toddler is a game in itself. Various doctors/consultants etc, they report shes a "Diagnostic Mystery" and test everything from intracranial pressure to UTI's. Still dont "know" whats wrong with her but think its a distressed upper gi due to a bug causing the initial vomiting. As we haven't puked for 24 hours on the ward, we are discharged with a 48 hour open return (The 13 hour wait for some drugs (antacids) is a different moan, I say we'll come back the next day for them..) and get home yesterday afternoon.
She now vomits as soon as she tastes the drugs (they are vile), but doesn't on normal food etc. So debating not giving her the drugs and seeing if she sorts herself. If she doesn't keep anything down normally, back to the ward we go. Poor thing has lost half a kilo of weight in a week, considering she only weighed 8kg!
Hormones also are balancing out post birth, and then again when you wean off boob milk (current cause of OH I suspect). Only thing I've found is to be available when needed and do whatever little things you can. Any sleep deprivation you are feeling, remember mum is just as bad if not worse while her body repairs itself from the ordeal of birth. It's a long road with lots of feeling useless/helpless along the way.
My NHS woes continued over the weekend (in spoiler tags so you don't have to read if you're not interested), I was working all weekend so I took Mum and Baby to MILs for some helping hand on Friday (Southampton, circa hour drive each way). Come Saturday night, get told she's still vomiting so they are going to see OOH GP (Apt for 0800 Sun). GP says one ear is a bit red, must be ear infection, so have some Antibiotics and if she is still the same after the Moxi, then to go to A+E.
Couple doses later and she wont keep it down, so A+E we go. (10pm Sun).
Were triaged instantly and get told its a 2-3hr wait, fun ensues as the waiting room was vile. What is it with parents not Tidying up. There were drink cans, spilt drink/food, bits of sweets etc everywhere. People just dumped the rubbish or whatever. Having a "allergy" baby means we can't just let her play (not that she wanted to, just wanted to cuddle), and the floor was so vile we weren't putting her down.
At 2:30ish we get called through to the treatment rooms, and due to dehydration are seen by a consultant straight away.They decide to start Diagnosis from scratch, as 10 days of vomiting isn't right. We try another fluid challenge, (we failed dramatically at RSCH as it was dioralyte - no wonder children don't like it) but this time its Apple juice/water mix which goes down easily.
Onto childs ward at 0600, various blood tests. Oh and getting a urine sample from a female toddler is a game in itself. Various doctors/consultants etc, they report shes a "Diagnostic Mystery" and test everything from intracranial pressure to UTI's. Still dont "know" whats wrong with her but think its a distressed upper gi due to a bug causing the initial vomiting. As we haven't puked for 24 hours on the ward, we are discharged with a 48 hour open return (The 13 hour wait for some drugs (antacids) is a different moan, I say we'll come back the next day for them..) and get home yesterday afternoon.
She now vomits as soon as she tastes the drugs (they are vile), but doesn't on normal food etc. So debating not giving her the drugs and seeing if she sorts herself. If she doesn't keep anything down normally, back to the ward we go. Poor thing has lost half a kilo of weight in a week, considering she only weighed 8kg!
tomble22 said:
Well....just thought I’d give some thoughts about the first (nearly) couple of weeks of parenthood!!
Generally all going ok, we had the 10 day midwife appointment on Sunday and baby Ruby is back over her birth weight already, feeding well, peeing well, pooing well etc.
Sleep has been a bit of a different story. Out of the first 12 days I think we’ve had 5 where she hasn’t slept at all from about midnight through to 6am. Having said that, the last 2 nights she has slept from around 11pm to around 3am, then from say 4am to 7/8am. I’m hoping yjis may now be a settled pattern but time well tell.
Mrs Tomble is doing ok but having struggled with anxiety before pregnancy, it’s raised its head again post birth. She seems to get really anxious around late afternoon about her not sleeping at night and just can’t seem to reason with the fact that she’s a baby and will do what she wants. It’s led to me sleeping on the sofa with the baby in her Moses basket next to me so that she can go upstairs and try and get some sleep, which she desperately needs having just given birth. She also developed some form of virus and mastitis which led to her being back in A&E last Monday night.
Just finding it hard at the moment as I can’t seem to help her. She has the health visitor coming on Thursday so hopefully she will talk to her about it and they can help. I’m also back at work on Thursday and I think she’s worried about that as well. I don’t tend to worry about things at all which probably doesn’t help in this situation (I.e. I’m handling it all ok and just rolling with it), but not sure on what I can do about that.
Apart from all the above, it’s awesome to see her growing away, seeing her be able to recognise faces and develop. She’s also sat next to me now ready for watching City tonight and I’ve been brainwashing her playing her U2, won’t be long and I can drag her along to the Etihad and U2 concerts (hopefully, time dependant!).
Thanks for listening!
All I can say is that it's not unusual to feel that way, a little helpless as the man is quite normal. Best just to keep doing what you are doing - taking baby away and giving Mum the chance to sleep when you can. The routine sounds like it is settling down as baby works out night from day - it'll get better from hereon. My one tip is to take as much of the sleep depravation pain yourself as you can - give Mum the chance to sleep as much as possible and she'll be in better spirits in no time. Sleep depravation is the enemy of virtually all normal life activities so try and give her as little of it as possible!Generally all going ok, we had the 10 day midwife appointment on Sunday and baby Ruby is back over her birth weight already, feeding well, peeing well, pooing well etc.
Sleep has been a bit of a different story. Out of the first 12 days I think we’ve had 5 where she hasn’t slept at all from about midnight through to 6am. Having said that, the last 2 nights she has slept from around 11pm to around 3am, then from say 4am to 7/8am. I’m hoping yjis may now be a settled pattern but time well tell.
Mrs Tomble is doing ok but having struggled with anxiety before pregnancy, it’s raised its head again post birth. She seems to get really anxious around late afternoon about her not sleeping at night and just can’t seem to reason with the fact that she’s a baby and will do what she wants. It’s led to me sleeping on the sofa with the baby in her Moses basket next to me so that she can go upstairs and try and get some sleep, which she desperately needs having just given birth. She also developed some form of virus and mastitis which led to her being back in A&E last Monday night.
Just finding it hard at the moment as I can’t seem to help her. She has the health visitor coming on Thursday so hopefully she will talk to her about it and they can help. I’m also back at work on Thursday and I think she’s worried about that as well. I don’t tend to worry about things at all which probably doesn’t help in this situation (I.e. I’m handling it all ok and just rolling with it), but not sure on what I can do about that.
Apart from all the above, it’s awesome to see her growing away, seeing her be able to recognise faces and develop. She’s also sat next to me now ready for watching City tonight and I’ve been brainwashing her playing her U2, won’t be long and I can drag her along to the Etihad and U2 concerts (hopefully, time dependant!).
Thanks for listening!
tomble22 said:
Hi Gary, missed your message first time round mate. Hope all is going well.retty good our end all things considered.
Agree with the emotional thing. I’ve never been particularly emotional, but I was crying for no reason for a couple of days after. Driving home the day she was to feed the cat, singing along to a U2 song blubbering isn’t a good look!
Back to work this week though which will be a kick up the arse!
No worries, and thanks! Just read your post, experience sounds remarkably similar to ours, she's only now just about working out what day and night is, Mrs29 managed 4 hours of sleep last night.....a record so far! We feel your pain, and I've been doing the same, straight after a feed I'll take the baby and demand mum goes for a sleep for a couple of hours. I've been doing all the cooking, cleaning, chores, nappy duty etc, so hopefully that's taken some load off.Agree with the emotional thing. I’ve never been particularly emotional, but I was crying for no reason for a couple of days after. Driving home the day she was to feed the cat, singing along to a U2 song blubbering isn’t a good look!
Back to work this week though which will be a kick up the arse!
Breast feeding is no joke though, she's had a tough time but is so stubborn she has persevered, I walked in on her in tears the other day as she was in pain from a small mouth nibbling on her every hour and exhausted, but once again she proves she's in a completely different league to me and stuck at it, and now it's going much better (nipple shields are worth trying). I was ready to throw the towel in when I saw her crying her eyes out and move to formula but she was having none of it.
I'm back in work already, I made sure she was happy and they just feed and nap through the days now for the first few weeks, so it's working out. I've been sleeping in the spare room at nights as there's not much I can do in terms of feeding, so it's pointless us both having sleepless nights...I feel VERY guilty sleeping normally when she isn't, but I hope I have been pulling my weight. My emotions have settled down now I'm back to some kind of normality, she's still up and down a lot though, par for the course, just have to be understanding and have had to choose all my words very carefully when offering advice/criticism
Been watching tank documentaries on YouTube with the little one while mum is sleeping, I think she likes them......she already knows the difference between a Sherman and a Tiger I
PS Tommee Tipee nappy bin is the best invention ever.
Edited by Gary29 on Wednesday 24th October 08:44
The other thing to consider if you can't breast feed due to baby latching issues etc is exclusive pumping. Means baby gets breast milk (although via a bottle).
My little one refused to latch so was on EBM (expressed breast milk). It's really common in the states but so little known about it over here, Id avoid the Medela pumps for continual pumping as they are only designed for the one offs, "hospital grade" things like a Spectra S1/2/3 or a lactaline are much better.
Its a huge learning curve if you are going that way, so if its something of interest for you/your other half- fire me a PM. The wife seems to be a huge font of knowledge on it, especially a she was an over supplier and has been feeding 4 other babies.
My little one refused to latch so was on EBM (expressed breast milk). It's really common in the states but so little known about it over here, Id avoid the Medela pumps for continual pumping as they are only designed for the one offs, "hospital grade" things like a Spectra S1/2/3 or a lactaline are much better.
Its a huge learning curve if you are going that way, so if its something of interest for you/your other half- fire me a PM. The wife seems to be a huge font of knowledge on it, especially a she was an over supplier and has been feeding 4 other babies.
Lazadude said:
The other thing to consider if you can't breast feed due to baby latching issues etc is exclusive pumping. Means baby gets breast milk (although via a bottle).
My little one refused to latch so was on EBM (expressed breast milk). It's really common in the states but so little known about it over here, Id avoid the Medela pumps for continual pumping as they are only designed for the one offs, "hospital grade" things like a Spectra S1/2/3 or a lactaline are much better.
Its a huge learning curve if you are going that way, so if its something of interest for you/your other half- fire me a PM. The wife seems to be a huge font of knowledge on it, especially a she was an over supplier and has been feeding 4 other babies.
Good to know!My little one refused to latch so was on EBM (expressed breast milk). It's really common in the states but so little known about it over here, Id avoid the Medela pumps for continual pumping as they are only designed for the one offs, "hospital grade" things like a Spectra S1/2/3 or a lactaline are much better.
Its a huge learning curve if you are going that way, so if its something of interest for you/your other half- fire me a PM. The wife seems to be a huge font of knowledge on it, especially a she was an over supplier and has been feeding 4 other babies.
Luckily our local surgery are fantastic and have a breast feeding group that meet every Wednesday morning and are a font of knowledge, so she's attended that a few times and is going again this morning, always helps when you know you're not the only one going through something like this.
We have got a silicone pump and bottles etc, but she wants to use those as a last resort, who am I to argue any differently, and now she seems to be latching much better and is getting really good feeds and hence sleeping better in between. Mum really does know best it seems.....just don't tell her I said that.
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