Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
I'm sorry to hear.. tough on everyone.
This pinged up on my facebook feed and it seems appropriate to share. I don't follow mummy blogs, but Hurrah for Gin is funny and she has a very realistic view on parenting.
http://hurrahforgin.com/2017/10/12/sometimes-you-h...
This pinged up on my facebook feed and it seems appropriate to share. I don't follow mummy blogs, but Hurrah for Gin is funny and she has a very realistic view on parenting.
http://hurrahforgin.com/2017/10/12/sometimes-you-h...
andy-xr said:
Hi said:
Bad stuff
Bad times.
More Bad stuff Bad times.
We lost our second in a similar manner but we are now fortunate enough to have had a second birth. One thing that you should mentally prepare for (maybe don't mention to your partner though) is not enjoying (both of you) the pregnancy like you did the first time around as you will have more doubts now any blissful innocence of the risks are gone.
That said it's still a great time and a small timescale in the grand scheme of things and you won't think negatively all of the time but the bad days will almost certainly be worse than they were before.
9 month old girl. Non-parents hate to hear parents go on about how much it changes your life, but fact is that it does. I am glad the days of previous generations are over where Dads didn't get involved. Don't work too hard to provide financial security - the most important thing is to be a Dad and spend time. I have a very stressful job but more important to me is that if my daughter falls and hurts herself that I can pick her up and make it better. Unfortunately you have to work at achieving a good work/life balance. Take some shared parental leave on top of your basic 2-week paternity (that will be a thing of the past in years to come). The first 2 weeks are insane. On week 3 you feel like you're getting on top of things and might venture out of the house! Week 4 you can just enjoy as a family. Yes you'll get paid less, but see above. Just being there for the bats
t bit is a bit like saying men should only be around if there is no other choice. The antenatal and then the actual birth can be quite sexist against Men. I found it outrageous but you just need to bite your tongue because you're all there for a reason. As a bloke who may or may not be used to this, just let yourself cry. It's OK to be happy, and it's OK to be sad, and having kids should be the time you start to allow your emotions out in a good way. If they are still around, try not to let your parents get on your nerves too much. They may know some things, but equally they will have some 40 years out of date things they want to interject and may tut at 'modern ways' but what's the alternative - have a blazing row? You'll need them soon, and being a grandparent may be brand new to them as much as parenting is to you.
t bit is a bit like saying men should only be around if there is no other choice. The antenatal and then the actual birth can be quite sexist against Men. I found it outrageous but you just need to bite your tongue because you're all there for a reason. As a bloke who may or may not be used to this, just let yourself cry. It's OK to be happy, and it's OK to be sad, and having kids should be the time you start to allow your emotions out in a good way. If they are still around, try not to let your parents get on your nerves too much. They may know some things, but equally they will have some 40 years out of date things they want to interject and may tut at 'modern ways' but what's the alternative - have a blazing row? You'll need them soon, and being a grandparent may be brand new to them as much as parenting is to you. We have 7 or 8 weeks to go depending on whether the NHS or private scan is accurate in terms of due date. We've bought everything except a monitor and a moses basket and the nursery is ready, plus we're getting towards the end of our NCT course, so we feel ready to go... Fortunately my OH has had no complications or side effects other than a little extra tiredness so it's been plain sailing so far.
If any of the expectant dads out there are in the early stages I can highly recommend the NCT classes, you learn a huge amount and it's a great way to meet other couples in the same situation as you who will hopefully become long-term friends.
If any of the expectant dads out there are in the early stages I can highly recommend the NCT classes, you learn a huge amount and it's a great way to meet other couples in the same situation as you who will hopefully become long-term friends.
Animal said:
Checking in to see how everyone's doing.
We're now at 18 weeks and everything seems to be going well - 20wk scan next Thursday!!
Excellent stuff!We're now at 18 weeks and everything seems to be going well - 20wk scan next Thursday!!
are you planning on finding out whether it is a boy or a girl?
I didn't want to, but my wife really did and since she's doing all the hard work we did find out, we're having a little girl, 10-11 weeks to go depending on how accurate the scan is and how patient/cosy she is!
Just a few more bits to get now, a cot, changing bits and pieces, and then paint the room and we'll be ready as we can be!
Shakermaker said:
Excellent stuff!
are you planning on finding out whether it is a boy or a girl?
I didn't want to, but my wife really did and since she's doing all the hard work we did find out, we're having a little girl, 10-11 weeks to go depending on how accurate the scan is and how patient/cosy she is!
Just a few more bits to get now, a cot, changing bits and pieces, and then paint the room and we'll be ready as we can be!
Yeah we both want to know (although we're convinced it's a girl, based on absolutely no evidence whatsoever)!are you planning on finding out whether it is a boy or a girl?
I didn't want to, but my wife really did and since she's doing all the hard work we did find out, we're having a little girl, 10-11 weeks to go depending on how accurate the scan is and how patient/cosy she is!
Just a few more bits to get now, a cot, changing bits and pieces, and then paint the room and we'll be ready as we can be!
We've been really lucky in that we've got lots of generous friends/family who have offered us tons of stuff. So far I think we've got a cot bed, moses basket, pushchair and some clothes. My parents have offered to buy us a car seat too. It all really helps.
Animal said:
Yeah we both want to know (although we're convinced it's a girl, based on absolutely no evidence whatsoever)!
We've been really lucky in that we've got lots of generous friends/family who have offered us tons of stuff. So far I think we've got a cot bed, moses basket, pushchair and some clothes. My parents have offered to buy us a car seat too. It all really helps.
It absolutely does, we are in a similar position which is great. We've been really lucky in that we've got lots of generous friends/family who have offered us tons of stuff. So far I think we've got a cot bed, moses basket, pushchair and some clothes. My parents have offered to buy us a car seat too. It all really helps.
Another expectant Dad here, we've got a girl arriving in four weeks. She is being evicted by C-section so know the birthday unless she decides to arrive early.
It's our first so all new, NCT classes booked in over the next couple of weekends and most of the important things have been bought so I feel like we are mostly ready, but I am sure it is going to hit us like a truck when it all happens!
It's our first so all new, NCT classes booked in over the next couple of weekends and most of the important things have been bought so I feel like we are mostly ready, but I am sure it is going to hit us like a truck when it all happens!
A quick tangent onto buggies following my post earlier up the thread.
We've got the Uppababy Vista, which has been brilliant over 2.5years, I've never had buggy-envy ..... so far.
Well, not until our son went into hospital for a week (he's OK now fortunately, but one of the delights of parenthood) but whilst there one of the other dads was pushing his younger kid up and down the ward in one of these bad boys. It's got a lot of kerb appeal down at the playpark!
https://www.thule.com/en-gb/gb/strollers/jogging-s...
I'd not seen them before, but Thule being the king of roof racks and cycle carriers the branding immediately caught my eye. Looks really well put together, albeit a tad spendy with all the extras that come standard with the Uppababy. Still, if you've gotta push the thing, man maths applies, right?
We've got the Uppababy Vista, which has been brilliant over 2.5years, I've never had buggy-envy ..... so far.
Well, not until our son went into hospital for a week (he's OK now fortunately, but one of the delights of parenthood) but whilst there one of the other dads was pushing his younger kid up and down the ward in one of these bad boys. It's got a lot of kerb appeal down at the playpark!
https://www.thule.com/en-gb/gb/strollers/jogging-s...
I'd not seen them before, but Thule being the king of roof racks and cycle carriers the branding immediately caught my eye. Looks really well put together, albeit a tad spendy with all the extras that come standard with the Uppababy. Still, if you've gotta push the thing, man maths applies, right?
PurpleTurtle said:
A quick tangent onto buggies following my post earlier up the thread.
We've got the Uppababy Vista, which has been brilliant over 2.5years, I've never had buggy-envy ..... so far.
Well, not until our son went into hospital for a week (he's OK now fortunately, but one of the delights of parenthood) but whilst there one of the other dads was pushing his younger kid up and down the ward in one of these bad boys. It's got a lot of kerb appeal down at the playpark!
https://www.thule.com/en-gb/gb/strollers/jogging-s...
I'd not seen them before, but Thule being the king of roof racks and cycle carriers the branding immediately caught my eye. Looks really well put together, albeit a tad spendy with all the extras that come standard with the Uppababy. Still, if you've gotta push the thing, man maths applies, right?
Three wheelers? No thanks... We've got the Uppababy Vista, which has been brilliant over 2.5years, I've never had buggy-envy ..... so far.
Well, not until our son went into hospital for a week (he's OK now fortunately, but one of the delights of parenthood) but whilst there one of the other dads was pushing his younger kid up and down the ward in one of these bad boys. It's got a lot of kerb appeal down at the playpark!
https://www.thule.com/en-gb/gb/strollers/jogging-s...
I'd not seen them before, but Thule being the king of roof racks and cycle carriers the branding immediately caught my eye. Looks really well put together, albeit a tad spendy with all the extras that come standard with the Uppababy. Still, if you've gotta push the thing, man maths applies, right?
We were choosing between the Uppababy Vista, which wife's brother has as do other friends of ours, and the iCandy Peach. My wife wanted the iCandy Peach, and so that is what we have ordered. Generous gift from her mum that's for sure.
My wife has also survived a morning with my mum today, as my mum has generously offered to make up some nice curtains for the baby's room and took my wife out to choose material. My mum and my wife do not have exactly the same taste in these items it would seem... fortunately my wife has won on that front.
Shakermaker said:
Three wheelers? No thanks...
We were choosing between the Uppababy Vista, which wife's brother has as do other friends of ours, and the iCandy Peach. My wife wanted the iCandy Peach, and so that is what we have ordered. Generous gift from her mum that's for sure.
My wife has also survived a morning with my mum today, as my mum has generously offered to make up some nice curtains for the baby's room and took my wife out to choose material. My mum and my wife do not have exactly the same taste in these items it would seem... fortunately my wife has won on that front.
Why not a 3 wheeler? The manoeuvrability is second to non I see people struggle over rough terrain with 4 wheelers while I’m gliding past them with ease. We’ve had 3 buggies now over 5 years and 2 kids all with 3 wheels some more off road than others one with inflatable tyres they really are superb on road, off road, nipping round the supermarket or John Lewis. We were choosing between the Uppababy Vista, which wife's brother has as do other friends of ours, and the iCandy Peach. My wife wanted the iCandy Peach, and so that is what we have ordered. Generous gift from her mum that's for sure.
My wife has also survived a morning with my mum today, as my mum has generously offered to make up some nice curtains for the baby's room and took my wife out to choose material. My mum and my wife do not have exactly the same taste in these items it would seem... fortunately my wife has won on that front.
BoRED S2upid said:
Why not a 3 wheeler? The manoeuvrability is second to non I see people struggle over rough terrain with 4 wheelers while I’m gliding past them with ease. We’ve had 3 buggies now over 5 years and 2 kids all with 3 wheels some more off road than others one with inflatable tyres they really are superb on road, off road, nipping round the supermarket or John Lewis.
As this is PH I am sure I could come up with some analogy relating to how the 4 wheeler is our daily, but for weekends and holidays I may pull the trigger on something compact and lightweight. I don't have much need of going over rough terrain at the moment in our area, if that becomes an issue we may find a way around it, but for daily use, we've got the practical one smart one. May also just get a rough smoker type one if I am going anywhere less favourable... Had our daughter for just over two weeks now. Thankfully a good birth experience and a healthy baby - all going well but I think we've been lucky and got a good baby.
One thing I was not aware of is cluster feeding. Essentially baby trying to increase mums supply of milk with a feed followed by short break - rinse and repeat. No rest for anyone. Normally occurs at night when hormones are at their peak. Our record is 8hrs. Absolute hell for your partner and yourself to a smaller extent as I was trying to stay awake to be with her and give support.
Ensure you get midwives to show your partner comfortable positions for her shoulders and neck - shes going to need it.
As previously mentioned in this thread I attended a NCT course - 7 couples.
Only 1 baby was born naturally with no difficulties during or afterwards. There was an emergency C section, a couple of forceps deliveries, couple of inductions, one had severe blood loss and one with severe blood poisoning afterwards. Be prepared for anything is the take home message.
One thing I was not aware of is cluster feeding. Essentially baby trying to increase mums supply of milk with a feed followed by short break - rinse and repeat. No rest for anyone. Normally occurs at night when hormones are at their peak. Our record is 8hrs. Absolute hell for your partner and yourself to a smaller extent as I was trying to stay awake to be with her and give support.
Ensure you get midwives to show your partner comfortable positions for her shoulders and neck - shes going to need it.
As previously mentioned in this thread I attended a NCT course - 7 couples.
Only 1 baby was born naturally with no difficulties during or afterwards. There was an emergency C section, a couple of forceps deliveries, couple of inductions, one had severe blood loss and one with severe blood poisoning afterwards. Be prepared for anything is the take home message.
Frio3535 said:
Only 1 baby was born naturally with no difficulties during or afterwards. There was an emergency C section, a couple of forceps deliveries, couple of inductions, one had severe blood loss and one with severe blood poisoning afterwards. Be prepared for anything is the take home message.
Out of 6 couples in ours, four were EMCS, one planned (breech), one natural birth. The course leader was amzed.Second time around, three EMCS, one natural (again)
Thankfully, all healthy !
Frio3535 said:
There was an emergency C section, a couple of forceps deliveries, couple of inductions, one had severe blood loss and one with severe blood poisoning afterwards. Be prepared for anything is the take home message.
Yup. The and outcome for the baby is generally good, but the amount of damage (physical and physiological) to mum should not be underestimated from a complex birth.Sadly it often gets swept under the carpet as mums are expected to "cope" - and some health visitors really don't help the situation. Mums forums are a very good place to at least search, if not participate (for mums and dads)
Frio3535 said:
One thing I was not aware of is cluster feeding. Essentially baby trying to increase mums supply of milk with a feed followed by short break - rinse and repeat. No rest for anyone. Normally occurs at night when hormones are at their peak. Our record is 8hrs. Absolute hell for your partner and yourself to a smaller extent as I was trying to stay awake to be with her and give support.
My wife went through this so we switched to bottle after two weeks, breast is best my arse, not if your wife is a broken mess. This was three weeks ago, only downside is i have to take turns feeding during the night now 
.We saw the doctor at week two, no more visits for a further six weeks, they really let you just get on with it over here.
I like that Thule stroller, what age/weight of child is that for? we have some iCandy thing and it's huuuuuge! - ETA: Never mind, i downloaded the manual.
Edited by thainy77 on Wednesday 25th October 08:14
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