Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
the NHS classes, whilst free of charge, will have you sat with a load of council teen mums so you won't make any handy and useful friendships, and you probably won't learn much as they are quite lightweight in their syllabus.
The NCT classes are one of the few opportunities you get after the age of maybe 25 to meet new people who you have direct things in common with. Can make some good friendships there. Particularly useful for the women.
The NCT classes are one of the few opportunities you get after the age of maybe 25 to meet new people who you have direct things in common with. Can make some good friendships there. Particularly useful for the women.
Blown2CV said:
The NCT classes are one of the few opportunities you get after the age of maybe 25 to meet new people who you have direct things in common with. Can make some good friendships there. Particularly useful for the women.
Can be frighteningly competitive though!So, we are a month in with number two. I am blessed with two daughters - the wife is happy!
My fears of another difficult one have been assuaged so far as she seems a much calmer, sleepier baby. I have met many smug people thinking their wonderful sleeping baby is all their own work, when really they are all different and you get what you get to a significant extent!
Hub said:
Blown2CV said:
The NCT classes are one of the few opportunities you get after the age of maybe 25 to meet new people who you have direct things in common with. Can make some good friendships there. Particularly useful for the women.
Can be frighteningly competitive though!So, we are a month in with number two. I am blessed with two daughters - the wife is happy!
My fears of another difficult one have been assuaged so far as she seems a much calmer, sleepier baby. I have met many smug people thinking their wonderful sleeping baby is all their own work, when really they are all different and you get what you get to a significant extent!
The sleep thing is a real bone of contention. Our daughter always slept well, and we were never
s about it and often felt embarrassed even admitting she slept well to others because of the seething hate you quite often get, even from people you don't really know that well. Sleep is luck. I can't help but feel that very few parents who actually think their baby sleeping well is down to anything they have done, but i definitely think other parents project really negative thoughts onto those luckier ones. They assume the lucky ones are feeling certain things that they probably aren't. We just try and really downplay everything, and remain chilled out. However other people..... "look at her the smug fking thinking she's fking brilliant at everything" you can really really picture people thinking that stuff. I think internalised st like that actually interfered with Mrs 2CV's ability to bond with some of the other Mums; and I feel really sorry for her because of it because it is completely not fair. There are absolutely 2 sides to these things and the permeating emotions in interacting with other parents can unfortunately be negative... guilt, jealousy, fear, anger, judgement... it can bring out some really horrible qualities in people. Just be nice to other people!! They are going through what you are going through for the most part. It's swings and roundabouts. Maybe your kid will be a fking concert pianist and theirs will be a bin man, I guess I would advise people to chill the fk out and don't try and make yourself feel st in order to make yourself feel better because that seems to happen A LOT.Vaud said:
Well said.
Through the books away as well as they contradict each other and just make you paranoid.
Aside from "Wonder Weeks" which makes sense to explain behaviours and development leaps.
contradictions extend to plenty of places, the worst we've experienced being health visitors. They all just seem to be fThrough the books away as well as they contradict each other and just make you paranoid.
Aside from "Wonder Weeks" which makes sense to explain behaviours and development leaps.
king winging it! They are all nurses and they are generally parents themselves, but i think that's about it, despite them all immediately volunteering all their training and credentials (why do they do that? Because they know they don't know anything?) as soon as you say hello. They are barely better informed than most parents; even new ones. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed woman is Queen.Blown2CV said:
wonder weeks has been eerily accurate. One of the few things worth studying. Oh and just get the app (or get your missus to) as it tracks timeline. If nothing else it is useful for "i wonder why she is so clingy today" type information.
Exactly. Once we discovered it for number 1 a lot of stuff fell into place.Number 2 has also been accurate to it.
It's handy - not as advice, but as "ahh... that's what they are trying to process..." and almost overnight, boom, they wake up with a new skill.
andy-xr said:
XJSJohn said:
Will pick up a load of feeding bottles and stuff like that when over in Indonesia in December, but with Sprog due in Feb, any good tips for other items worth looking to buy online in the UK?
Get ones that you can change the teats on easily. We started off with some Philips ones that were too quick flowing for the baby at the time (we didnt know there was different ones) and then later had to change to anti colic teats, then faster flowing ones. I dont think there's likely much you could buy in the UK of value against stuff you'd get where you are, possibly people may buy 'stuff' for you anyway though. The best things we have were given, and still used. Mostly blankets and woolens.
Regarding price saving, you would be surprised, a GBP300 baby buggy / pram / car seat combo in the UK is GBP900 here! The exact same breast pump was GBP200 more expensive here!! Clothing, if you want cotton rather than very nasty china cotton (like recycled bin bags) clothing, you are looking at GBP40 a piece upwards!
Ebay and Amazon have been very good to us so far in saving money !
W124 said:
The only useful advice so can give is ‘dont Buy a big pram’ - if you must, then also also get a tiny fold up one as well. The big ones are just totally needless and never get used.
we have both and they do have their uses. As I understand it you can only use certain types when the baby is very small anyway. The Mrs likes the big pram for when she is within walking distance of home, and we tend to use the buggy for travel and if we need to load the car up so we need to save space, or if uneven surfaces to roll the buggy on, etc. I was slightly shocked at the idea of getting a 'travel buggy' when Mrs 2CV mooted it, remembering all too well how much the pram cost, but now we have it we find use for both.something that the classes and the books don't tell you is that having kids can really change the relationship you have with your own parents, and not necessarily in a good way. I think it has brought to front some 'sub-optimal' things my parents did and decisions they made when i was young, and maybe some attitudes they had which seems weird only now i look back being a parent myself. That and if you leave it late to have kids yourself, your parents can appear really very old and old fashioned in their way they accommodate the new grandkids. In 2017 i think there are so many differences in recommendations and guidelines, accepted practices and things that it can seem to grandparents like they are being judged for their own ways they did things years ago, and it can be a diplomatic exercise every time you want to get small things done the way they are generally done nowadays, without the grandparents feeling upset... minefield.
W124 said:
The only useful advice so can give is ‘dont Buy a big pram’ - if you must, then also also get a tiny fold up one as well. The big ones are just totally needless and never get used.
We had a big pram when ours was born. £300 Mothercare own brand one though, not some circa £1000 fashion statement! To be honest we only bought that new as we'd been given so much second hand stuff I think we felt a bit guilty that we didn't have anything new!I think it was worth it, it was a lot warmer and went into several different positions, i.e. full on pram, facing you pushchair, facing away. Plus you could attach the baby carrier / car seat to it, handy for shopping etc. when the baby is still sleeping a lot. Our daughter was born at the end of November, so she was nice and snug in it.
The £35 fold up pushchair from Aldi has been our mainstay since she was about 8 months old though. Anybody want to buy a pram?
Blown2CV said:
something that the classes and the books don't tell you is that having kids can really change the relationship you have with your own parents, and not necessarily in a good way. I think it has brought to front some 'sub-optimal' things my parents did and decisions they made when i was young, and maybe some attitudes they had which seems weird only now i look back being a parent myself. That and if you leave it late to have kids yourself, your parents can appear really very old and old fashioned in their way they accommodate the new grandkids. In 2017 i think there are so many differences in recommendations and guidelines, accepted practices and things that it can seem to grandparents like they are being judged for their own ways they did things years ago, and it can be a diplomatic exercise every time you want to get small things done the way they are generally done nowadays, without the grandparents feeling upset... minefield.
Fortunately that didn't happen with us. Both sets of parents are supportive, but don't interfere. In fact, I've found myself appreciating them a lot more, and agreeing with some of their ways of bringing up children - things that you don't "get" when you are a child yourself. My parents had a falling out with my dads parents when I was born due to differences, as a result I hardly ever saw that side of the family, and I don't think my dad has seen his siblings for years. So it's not a new thing!
I think I know what you mean about parents..
Clearly, my parents and my wife's parents brought us up in different ways.
Neither were bad ways to have been raised, but there will be little things that we have experienced differently, and I guess that will play out as we raise our own daughter and any future children as well.
They do live close by, which might well be handy for having them help out when we need it.. it is my parent's first grandchild, my wife's brother already has two but since they live abroad they aren't seen as often so I think her mum will be spoiling our daughter a bit more (sadly, my wife's dad died 10 years ago)
Clearly, my parents and my wife's parents brought us up in different ways.
Neither were bad ways to have been raised, but there will be little things that we have experienced differently, and I guess that will play out as we raise our own daughter and any future children as well.
They do live close by, which might well be handy for having them help out when we need it.. it is my parent's first grandchild, my wife's brother already has two but since they live abroad they aren't seen as often so I think her mum will be spoiling our daughter a bit more (sadly, my wife's dad died 10 years ago)
Now at 5 weeks to go until due day. 35 days, so if nothing else goes to plan, I will be a Dad in 49 days if we get 2 weeks past due date and my wife has to be induced. Though I don't expect that will be the case.
The first of our NCT friends had their daughter arrive on Monday, 3 weeks early!
Wife is definitely feeling it more every day - all evening last night she was feeling uncomfortable and with a few bouts of brackston hicks contractions. This prompted her to get me to make sure that we had a bag of stuff packed and ready to go just in case. The main thing that I took away from this was... how small the clothes for a baby are.
Whcih means that there exists, currently growing inside my wife, a tiny person who is able to fit into clothes which are smaller than my socks. Not even my thick big welly socks, but my regular every day socks, size 9-12.
How the f*** am I meant to take care of something that small? Our cats were bigger than that when we adopted them!
The first of our NCT friends had their daughter arrive on Monday, 3 weeks early!
Wife is definitely feeling it more every day - all evening last night she was feeling uncomfortable and with a few bouts of brackston hicks contractions. This prompted her to get me to make sure that we had a bag of stuff packed and ready to go just in case. The main thing that I took away from this was... how small the clothes for a baby are.
Whcih means that there exists, currently growing inside my wife, a tiny person who is able to fit into clothes which are smaller than my socks. Not even my thick big welly socks, but my regular every day socks, size 9-12.
How the f*** am I meant to take care of something that small? Our cats were bigger than that when we adopted them!
Shakermaker said:
Now at 5 weeks to go until due day. 35 days, so if nothing else goes to plan, I will be a Dad in 49 days if we get 2 weeks past due date and my wife has to be induced. Though I don't expect that will be the case.
The first of our NCT friends had their daughter arrive on Monday, 3 weeks early!
Wife is definitely feeling it more every day - all evening last night she was feeling uncomfortable and with a few bouts of brackston hicks contractions. This prompted her to get me to make sure that we had a bag of stuff packed and ready to go just in case. The main thing that I took away from this was... how small the clothes for a baby are.
Whcih means that there exists, currently growing inside my wife, a tiny person who is able to fit into clothes which are smaller than my socks. Not even my thick big welly socks, but my regular every day socks, size 9-12.
How the f*** am I meant to take care of something that small? Our cats were bigger than that when we adopted them!
My lad was 1 on Sunday and is now running around like a maniac. You'll be fine. Treasure it, it goes ridiculously fThe first of our NCT friends had their daughter arrive on Monday, 3 weeks early!
Wife is definitely feeling it more every day - all evening last night she was feeling uncomfortable and with a few bouts of brackston hicks contractions. This prompted her to get me to make sure that we had a bag of stuff packed and ready to go just in case. The main thing that I took away from this was... how small the clothes for a baby are.
Whcih means that there exists, currently growing inside my wife, a tiny person who is able to fit into clothes which are smaller than my socks. Not even my thick big welly socks, but my regular every day socks, size 9-12.
How the f*** am I meant to take care of something that small? Our cats were bigger than that when we adopted them!
king quickly.p1stonhead said:
My lad was 1 on Sunday and is now running around like a maniac. You'll be fine. Treasure it, it goes ridiculously fking quickly.
It does. One minute they are an 8lb screaming thing in your arms, the next minute they are at school and telling you off for "not being kind, daddy"king quickly.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff