Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
Just checking in. This time last week I was unaware that in the next few minutes I'd be calling an ambulance for my wife.
It's been a real rollercoaster of a week. I can't recall exactly what my previous posts hinted and I'm too tired to go back and read them.
On Wednesday I probably had my darkest hour - we were taken aside and told to prepare for the worst- basically; that our baby won't be going home. Based on their observations of similar cases, we had to consider what might be fair in terms of quality of life. Just days after almost losing my wife and child, we were now facing the potential decision to have to switch off her life support before the week was over. I can't tell you what it feels like to be told that.
After doing that bloke thing of leaking from the eyeballs but remaining strong for my wife, I eventually fell to pieces and haven't cried so much since we lost our baby last year at 16 weeks.
I've spent hours by her bedside, holding her hand and tickling her feet; looking for signs of life / response. She was put on a powerful anti-convulsant drug which sedated her, topped with morphine.
On Thursday she started to try to breathe for herself, fighting the ventilation machine which was doing the breathing for her. She also met her two sisters, aged 4 and 6.
By Friday the re-warming process was underway (They cool the baby to 33.5 degrees to reduce secondary brain damage / swelling). My wife got to hold her baby for the first time, albeit whilst she was still heavily sedated.
Towards the end of Friday they began to ween her off of the anti-convulsant drug, warning us that the seizures they could see on the monitor could become more severe.
Overnight Friday she had only 2 minor seizures, whilst still fighting the ventilation machine and trying to breathe for herself. They also began giving breast milk via the tube up her nose.
Yesterday she was completely weened of the anti-convulsant by late morning and had been digesting her food, which was steadily increased in volume every 2 hours.
She had no more seizures. Last night, the eeg monitors on her skull were removed. She has not had any physical convulsions and is increasing her movements. The sedative effect was due to wear off this morning (Sunday) so we got an earlier night (22:00 - we had been staying up with her until midnight most nights).
Got down from the ward to the unit at 6am this morning and our little girl is now in a much better position than she was on Wednesday. Throughout the day she has had the majority of tubes and wires removed from her body and looks like you'd expect a new born to look. She even fleetingly opened her eyes.
We've no idea what level of damage occurred during her turbulent entrance to this world, we won't find out until the MRI scan has been performed and assessed (up to a week away).
But she's defying the odds, surprising the doctors with every shift that passes. We have everything crossed.
Throughout it all the NHS has been incredible. From the ambulance crew to the surgeons at the hospital, the various midwives at that hospital and the next, the ANTS (Acute neonatal transport service) and all the staff at the Luton and Dunstable NICU. I don't know how they do it, whatever they're getting paid will never be enough.
Our baby turns 1 week old in 2 hours, it's still early days and we have a long way to go yet.
My other girls start school on Tuesday, so that will be a welcome distraction.
...as will the bed I'm getting into, after spending a week sleeping on a chair...
It's been a real rollercoaster of a week. I can't recall exactly what my previous posts hinted and I'm too tired to go back and read them.
On Wednesday I probably had my darkest hour - we were taken aside and told to prepare for the worst- basically; that our baby won't be going home. Based on their observations of similar cases, we had to consider what might be fair in terms of quality of life. Just days after almost losing my wife and child, we were now facing the potential decision to have to switch off her life support before the week was over. I can't tell you what it feels like to be told that.
After doing that bloke thing of leaking from the eyeballs but remaining strong for my wife, I eventually fell to pieces and haven't cried so much since we lost our baby last year at 16 weeks.
I've spent hours by her bedside, holding her hand and tickling her feet; looking for signs of life / response. She was put on a powerful anti-convulsant drug which sedated her, topped with morphine.
On Thursday she started to try to breathe for herself, fighting the ventilation machine which was doing the breathing for her. She also met her two sisters, aged 4 and 6.
By Friday the re-warming process was underway (They cool the baby to 33.5 degrees to reduce secondary brain damage / swelling). My wife got to hold her baby for the first time, albeit whilst she was still heavily sedated.
Towards the end of Friday they began to ween her off of the anti-convulsant drug, warning us that the seizures they could see on the monitor could become more severe.
Overnight Friday she had only 2 minor seizures, whilst still fighting the ventilation machine and trying to breathe for herself. They also began giving breast milk via the tube up her nose.
Yesterday she was completely weened of the anti-convulsant by late morning and had been digesting her food, which was steadily increased in volume every 2 hours.
She had no more seizures. Last night, the eeg monitors on her skull were removed. She has not had any physical convulsions and is increasing her movements. The sedative effect was due to wear off this morning (Sunday) so we got an earlier night (22:00 - we had been staying up with her until midnight most nights).
Got down from the ward to the unit at 6am this morning and our little girl is now in a much better position than she was on Wednesday. Throughout the day she has had the majority of tubes and wires removed from her body and looks like you'd expect a new born to look. She even fleetingly opened her eyes.
We've no idea what level of damage occurred during her turbulent entrance to this world, we won't find out until the MRI scan has been performed and assessed (up to a week away).
But she's defying the odds, surprising the doctors with every shift that passes. We have everything crossed.
Throughout it all the NHS has been incredible. From the ambulance crew to the surgeons at the hospital, the various midwives at that hospital and the next, the ANTS (Acute neonatal transport service) and all the staff at the Luton and Dunstable NICU. I don't know how they do it, whatever they're getting paid will never be enough.
Our baby turns 1 week old in 2 hours, it's still early days and we have a long way to go yet.
My other girls start school on Tuesday, so that will be a welcome distraction.
...as will the bed I'm getting into, after spending a week sleeping on a chair...
I hope all are doing well, particularly you CAR. We've a lot of other new dads and dads to be
I'm sure that many of you will have a similar
List of people my daughter is happy to see and who get a wave/smile/cheer/run towards them for a cuddle
Mummy
Granny
Grandma
The younger of my two sisters
Daddy (when he gets home from work)
Neighbour's dog
Cat
Old lady next door
Bin men
Children we've never met before in the park
Shop keepers
Anyone on a bus
Anyone in the supermaket (this might be because she wants the food in their trolley)
List of people my daughter is NOT happy to see and who get a scrawled up face of almost absolute horror when they even happen to look in a vaguely similar direction to her, let alone try and interact with her
Daddy (at 5 in the morning if she's woken up)
Grandpa
my other sister
my wife's sister
my brother
I'm sure that many of you will have a similar
List of people my daughter is happy to see and who get a wave/smile/cheer/run towards them for a cuddle
Mummy
Granny
Grandma
The younger of my two sisters
Daddy (when he gets home from work)
Neighbour's dog
Cat
Old lady next door
Bin men
Children we've never met before in the park
Shop keepers
Anyone on a bus
Anyone in the supermaket (this might be because she wants the food in their trolley)
List of people my daughter is NOT happy to see and who get a scrawled up face of almost absolute horror when they even happen to look in a vaguely similar direction to her, let alone try and interact with her
Daddy (at 5 in the morning if she's woken up)
Grandpa
my other sister
my wife's sister
my brother
vaud said:
To cheer and other dads days. My youngest is just over 2 years old.
"say banana"
"banananana"
"say sausages"
"sausages"
"say plane"
"plane (makes plane noises as well"
"say I love you"
"no."
Brutal.
Yes, we have similar. "say banana"
"banananana"
"say sausages"
"sausages"
"say plane"
"plane (makes plane noises as well"
"say I love you"
"no."
Brutal.
She's got onto a different form of "No" for when she means "yes" but can't say "yes" yet...
I've been teaching her body parts. She can do "nose" and has done for ages, then we got to "ears" and now we can do head, hair, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, teeth, hands, fingers, feet, toes, tummy button.
But then "Where's your tongue?" and she gets out her "tum" button again
and
"Where's Mummy?"
Tummy button again.
Shakermaker said:
She's got onto a different form of "No" for when she means "yes" but can't say "yes" yet...
Apparently small children struggle to understand negation.ie. you say "please don't put your teddy in the bin"
They hear "please put your teddy in the bin" as they understand action "put", object "teddy" and target "bin"... but don't understand that it is all negated by "not" fascinating things, small people.
Not sure if it is true, but makes sense if it is.
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