Any other expectant Dads?

[Nemophilist]

Is anyone with a 2+ year old starting to think about nursery yet?

Ive started looking into it as we qualify for the 30 free hours, but it seems its quite a gamble if you actually get them or not.

Do most people do with the 15 free hours?

[vaud]

Nemophilist said:

Is anyone with a 2+ year old starting to think about nursery yet?

Ive started looking into it as we qualify for the 30 free hours, but it seems its quite a gamble if you actually get them or not.

Do most people do with the 15 free hours?

The criteria are well laid out - no gamble

https://www.gov.uk/30-hours-free-childcare

Talk to your local nurseries - they will be well placed to advise.

[Lazadude]

Ours (2 1/2) is with a childminder and shes amazing. Dont think we'd get anywhere near the same level of activity (trips out) and 1 on 1 learning that she gets there. Ex-Montessori manager now running own setting from home.

I think our plans with the free hours are to use a days worth at a nursery setting (as she's only at childminders 3/5 days a week, so use one of the other 2 at nursery) for the social aspect. Then just cash the rest in with the childminder and bring the bill down a lot!

[vonuber]

I think we've spent about £60k on nursery so far, with the two girls in full time.

[Lazadude]

vonuber said:

I think we've spent about £60k on nursery so far, with the two girls in full time.

At a grand a month, (woo Surrey), we're on about 15k so far on childminder fees for my daughter...

Mental amount of money just to be able to go to work!

[chip*]

Yes, nursery fees ain't cheap! Our girl only goes 2 days, but at a daily fees @ £72 still affect the household expense. However, definitely worth the investment as I can see subtle developmental differences compared to her playmates who doesn't attend nursery.

[vaud]

Nurseries are excellent for building social skills and increasing their immune system

[tomble22]

Watched that 'The baby has landed' programme on BBC 2 last night, felt a warm smugness at the first timers, particularly the gay couple who were comparing it to looking after their two dogs, then realised that they were expecting surrogate twins.

Also had a lot of respect for the family with 5. Really made me confident that 2 will be plenty!!

[Du1point8]

tomble22 said:

Watched that 'The baby has landed' programme on BBC 2 last night, felt a warm smugness at the first timers, particularly the gay couple who were comparing it to looking after their two dogs, then realised that they were expecting surrogate twins.

Also had a lot of respect for the family with 5. Really made me confident that 2 will be plenty!!

Stopped watching that and walked out during the first episode when one of the guys asked the other for a set of pliers so he can set something up and he replied... 'What are pliers?'

fk that st... Car crash tv...

[vaud]

tomble22 said:

Also had a lot of respect for the family with 5. Really made me confident that 2 will be plenty!!

I had a colleague who had 6 under 6 (two sets of twins) and I know of someone with 8.

8.

[richatnort]

Du1point8 said:

Well Black Friday was not cheap for me.

Now on to more serious stuff... We are having a hard time getting him to sleep (4.5 months) hes in sleep regression were hes moving from newborn sleep (pass out wherever) to adult sleep (a couple of light sleeping modes), the issue is that as soon as he is put in the cot, all hell breaks loose... soon as you pick him up hes out cold (literally seconds), then rinse and repeat until he's so knackered he doesn't care/notice anymore... help!!

Also OH has such a bad back, its now at the stage where she needs to get a massage once a week and is doing exercises twice a day, but obviously having to hold a clingy little H most of the day means that its very slow improvements... any advice?

I can't help but i'm at the 3.5 month stage and i think our daughter is slowly getting to this phase too. She's got a really good sleep routine at the minute but it's becoming tricky! We look for her sleep que's like rubbing her eye or yawning and quickly get her up to sleep but at the moment she's really fighting going to sleep with her eyes open and uses any trick she can to spit her dummy out in the hope she can stay away a bit more which then get into over tiredness & even harder work.

[Du1point8]

richatnort said:

Du1point8 said:

Well Black Friday was not cheap for me.

Now on to more serious stuff... We are having a hard time getting him to sleep (4.5 months) hes in sleep regression were hes moving from newborn sleep (pass out wherever) to adult sleep (a couple of light sleeping modes), the issue is that as soon as he is put in the cot, all hell breaks loose... soon as you pick him up hes out cold (literally seconds), then rinse and repeat until he's so knackered he doesn't care/notice anymore... help!!

Also OH has such a bad back, its now at the stage where she needs to get a massage once a week and is doing exercises twice a day, but obviously having to hold a clingy little H most of the day means that its very slow improvements... any advice?

I can't help but i'm at the 3.5 month stage and i think our daughter is slowly getting to this phase too. She's got a really good sleep routine at the minute but it's becoming tricky! We look for her sleep que's like rubbing her eye or yawning and quickly get her up to sleep but at the moment she's really fighting going to sleep with her eyes open and uses any trick she can to spit her dummy out in the hope she can stay away a bit more which then get into over tiredness & even harder work.

Your existing routine wont matter a jot as its not the routine, its the complete re-work of how they used to sleep.

We currently do 2 naps and supposedly 2 hours during the day and then bath time starts at 6pm/7pm and an hour later in bed... great routine, but he wont follow it until he can sleep himself and self soothe... until that point its pure pain putting him down and if we keep letting him sleep on us he will never get used to it.

Our issue is that we want him to fall asleep in his own bed and wake up there so he can associate the bed with sleep and not just wake up there, until that happens he associates milk and on my partners lap as sleep time and nothing else.

[vonuber]

It's really hard but you need to be strict and not cave in by letting them sleep elsewhere.

Sleep training was just the worst. They can scream like they are being tortured for ages.

[Stevil]

Sleep training was key for us, did have to go through the controlled crying a bit which is really hard, but it's paid off for us as he's slept really well since he was around 6 months old and sleeps 7pm-6:30am now at 3 years old. As mentioned they have to learn to self-soothe otherwise they'll just cry any time they wake up. Having structured nap times really helps too, which although it means that you can't be as flexible with plans to go anywhere as you might have been in the past, you've got to weigh up what a good nights sleep for yourself is worth.

I do miss his daytime naps now as it was nice to grab 90 minutes or so in the afternoon to just zone out for a bit.

[chip*]

Stevil said:

Sleep training was key for us, did have to go through the controlled crying a bit which is really hard, but it's paid off for us as he's slept really well since he was around 6 months old and sleeps 7pm-6:30am now at 3 years old. As mentioned they have to learn to self-soothe otherwise they'll just cry any time they wake up. Having structured nap times really helps too, which although it means that you can't be as flexible with plans to go anywhere as you might have been in the past, you've got to weigh up what a good nights sleep for yourself is worth.

I do miss his daytime naps now as it was nice to grab 90 minutes or so in the afternoon to just zone out for a bit.

+1

For our first child, we moved to her own bedroom bang on 6 months and applied sleep training. Some call it controlled crying, but we simply just let her cry and self sooth to sleep :0 We did try it earlier on an ad-hoc basis, but we didn't really force the issue as were away for 3 weeks holiday in a country with a 8 hours time difference. Same for our second, we moved her out to her bedroom at 8 months (my fault for not preparing the room earlier) and initiated sleep training too. First child happily walks to her bedroom, but then use delay tactics to avoid sleep (e.g. pull out a puzzle or toy etc.). We let her have 5 mins or so, give her a quick cuddle, then she goes straight to bed without any fuss. In bed by 8pm'ish, and barring illness, up 7.00-7.30am as per the sun/yellow clock . Same sleep training for our second (11 months now), and when we see the rubbing eyes sign, we give her a quick feed, then plonk her straight into bed wide awake. From observing the monitor, she plays with her dummy/toy and drops off after 5 mins or so. In bed @ 7pm, and up @ 1-2am for a feed (occasionally dropping this feed), then up again at 6.30-7.00am. She does wake up and cry from teething, but a shot of Nurofen and a brief cuddle normally sort it out.

For comparison, my wife's good friend also have 2 kids with identical age to our 2 girls. They co-sleep with their first child (each evening, Dad/Mum would lie in bed 30-60 mins until the kid falls asleep, repeat again when kid wakes up during the night...), but sleep trained their second child. With the second child self soothing to sleep, they are now diverting all their attention back on their first child....

I would say sleep training has benefited us, or maybe we just got lucky.

Edited by chip* on Thursday 5th December 15:43

[vonuber]

Sleep training for us was the best thing we did, at around 6 - 7 months for both of them.
Setting that routine has payed dividends now, especially as one has just started school.

[The Moose]

vaud said:

tomble22 said:

Also had a lot of respect for the family with 5. Really made me confident that 2 will be plenty!!

I had a colleague who had 6 under 6 (two sets of twins) and I know of someone with 8.

8.

My wife is one of 8. Her best friend from school was one of 13.

[vaud]

From another thread in an exchange with the one and only Baby Shark doo doo doo doo.

vaud said:

Baby Shark doo doo doo doo said:

In closing this little contretemps, I will share that my 2 year old is picking new words and working on pronunciation.

To this point she would see that flag and shout "FAG!" which is almost as bad as her favourite new word "darkie" - her word for the night/dark

Walking with her at night in the local town she kept pointing (at the sky but could have been interpreted as pointing at people as she is very small) and saying loudly, "LOOK DADDY - DARKIES, DARKIES, DARKIES! I DON'T LIKE DARKIES"

[Blown2CV]

i find it hard to believe that's real but who knows with kids i guess

[Dyl]

I haven't contributed to the thread in a while but have been reading along - congratulations to the recent new arrivals/announcements.

Our son is now nearing 6 months old. It's really fun now that he is much more alert and inquisitive; he has found his voice and is now learning that he can push himself with his legs if things are out of arm's reach. Overall he's a very happy and content baby with the only grumbles coming due to teething or occasional over-tiredness.

Feeding is fairly consistent at 5x 7-8oz (bottle) feeds per day, at 3 hour intervals, but my main annoyance is a lack of a proper sleeping pattern. Most days he is awake at 8am and naps around 2 hours in total during the day. When it's time for final feed, he finishes that then gets a quick story and put to bed where he will typically moan for 5-10 mins then fall asleep himself. Bed time is typically 8.30pm after final feed, but the past week or two has been all over the place. Last night was after 10!

I also have to keep asking my wife to put him in his cot for daytime naps but she is always cuddling/soothing him to sleep. She knows this is a bad habit to start yet continues to do it (off work on maternity leave).

I guess there isn't really a point to my post - maybe more of a rant but it's interesting to read the recent posts on sleep training. I'll/we'll do some reading in to that and try and implement over the next few weeks.