Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
SpeckledJim said:
Take heart lads.
You're at the pointy end of an unbroken 2,000,000,000 year chain of successful child-rearing.
amongst those who came before you were some proper, proper idiots.
If they did it, so can you.
This is what I keep trying to tell my wife as she is currently going through the "baby blues" phase - 3 weeks in, the lack of sleep, and constant feeding, is making her feel rather glum and whatever I say has little effect, except pointing out that she's doing so much better than most of the idiots that have come before us.. You're at the pointy end of an unbroken 2,000,000,000 year chain of successful child-rearing.
amongst those who came before you were some proper, proper idiots.
If they did it, so can you.
DuncB7 said:
First time here. 12 week scan yesterday. All seems very real now.
Emotions are currently stuck somewhere between absolute excitement and s
tting it.
Yep. Identical over here.Emotions are currently stuck somewhere between absolute excitement and s
tting it.Taking some solace in SpeckledJim's 2Bn year comment. That and total denial that our lives are about to completely change.
We were discussing a new car yesterday to deal with Baby. Of course I'm keeping my sports car, said I. I'm sure I'll still use it, I asserted.
Moron.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Thursday 1st February 10:40
Harry Flashman said:
Yep. Identical over here.
Taking some solace in SpeckledJim's 2Bn year comment. That and total denial that our lives are about to completely change.
We were discussing a new car yesterday to deal with Baby. Of course I'm keeping my sports car, said I. I'm sure I'll still use it, I asserted.
Moron.
We kept our two seater (MX5, of course) and I used it on nursery runs, shopping, and my now 4 year old loves it, especially with the roof off. Taking some solace in SpeckledJim's 2Bn year comment. That and total denial that our lives are about to completely change.
We were discussing a new car yesterday to deal with Baby. Of course I'm keeping my sports car, said I. I'm sure I'll still use it, I asserted.
Moron.
We have a 6 month old as well and we are still keeping it.
Obviously we cant use it for family days out, but it does get used and the child seats have all been fine.
It is fun.
I got home late from a very long day and a board meeting that I would rather not have been in.
My eldest came running downstairs and said "Oh daddy you are back! I missed you so much.. you need a big hug"
The unconditional love of small people is very, very special.
Sorry that is not very PH. MX5, 335d, etc....
I got home late from a very long day and a board meeting that I would rather not have been in.
My eldest came running downstairs and said "Oh daddy you are back! I missed you so much.. you need a big hug"
The unconditional love of small people is very, very special.
Sorry that is not very PH. MX5, 335d, etc....
Same here, my near 3yo ran into my home office with some muffins that he’d made at a cookery class my wife takes him to, overjoyed that he’d made them for me.
That it was ‘savoury’ day and these were cheese and broccoli muffins, an acquired taste, I had to let that ride and pretend that I loved them!
That it was ‘savoury’ day and these were cheese and broccoli muffins, an acquired taste, I had to let that ride and pretend that I loved them!
My Mrs is 33 weeks with our second and my third. She's also been away for the last few days and left me and the wee f'la (4) to fend for ourselves, it's been brilliant 
But I'm still stting it for the latest getting here, I'm 48 this year and have been off work long term sick for the last year, Wife is talking about taking two months off after the birth and leaving me to looking after the other two :twitch:
But I'm still s
tting it for the latest getting here, I'm 48 this year and have been off work long term sick for the last year, Wife is talking about taking two months off after the birth and leaving me to looking after the other two :twitch:With the benefit of 3 and a bit weeks experience...
You will get given 900 different bits of advice about the best way to make your baby sleep/feed/dress/poo/cry and anything else. All of it will contradict the other advice. Some of it works for your baby, some of it doesn't. Stick with what works for your baby.
Don't do anything stupid, and make sure they have enough food. That's all they need to survive.
Do not underestimate how demanding they can be for food.. every hour, on the hour between 3am-10pm yesterday for our little girl, its very hard on my wife who is very keen to remain breast feeding as long as possible. She's doing really well but she just doesn't realise it.
Also, your wife's hormones WILL change dramatically, and lead to enormous mood swings - more than you've ever seen before. Now is a good time to stock up on tea bags, her favourite chocolates etc.
You will get given 900 different bits of advice about the best way to make your baby sleep/feed/dress/poo/cry and anything else. All of it will contradict the other advice. Some of it works for your baby, some of it doesn't. Stick with what works for your baby.
Don't do anything stupid, and make sure they have enough food. That's all they need to survive.
Do not underestimate how demanding they can be for food.. every hour, on the hour between 3am-10pm yesterday for our little girl, its very hard on my wife who is very keen to remain breast feeding as long as possible. She's doing really well but she just doesn't realise it.
Also, your wife's hormones WILL change dramatically, and lead to enormous mood swings - more than you've ever seen before. Now is a good time to stock up on tea bags, her favourite chocolates etc.
12TS said:
Relax folks - it'll all be fine. You'll soon learn to adapt.
and then shortly after that you'll learn to constantly re-adapt! Babies love to go "oh you think you've got me figured out huh? Well check this out!" It happens at least weekly for the first 3-4 months or so.All this is easy until they start teething anyway........
Shakermaker said:
Also, your wife's hormones WILL change dramatically, and lead to enormous mood swings - more than you've ever seen before. Now is a good time to stock up on tea bags, her favourite chocolates etc.
Ooorr...Get a nice tent, good sleeping bag, and live in the garden. Your mental health and sleep regimen is as important as anyone's!
Shakermaker said:
With the benefit of 3 and a bit weeks experience...
You will get given 900 different bits of advice about the best way to make your baby sleep/feed/dress/poo/cry and anything else. All of it will contradict the other advice. Some of it works for your baby, some of it doesn't. Stick with what works for your baby.
Don't do anything stupid, and make sure they have enough food. That's all they need to survive.
Do not underestimate how demanding they can be for food.. every hour, on the hour between 3am-10pm yesterday for our little girl, its very hard on my wife who is very keen to remain breast feeding as long as possible. She's doing really well but she just doesn't realise it.
Also, your wife's hormones WILL change dramatically, and lead to enormous mood swings - more than you've ever seen before. Now is a good time to stock up on tea bags, her favourite chocolates etc.
where you are right now the cluster feeding will pretty much stop any day now and it will all seem a lot easier. Her mood levels out too as that goes... the mid to tail end of the first week are famous low points and during that period if she stops crying you'll what's wrong, almost. You will get given 900 different bits of advice about the best way to make your baby sleep/feed/dress/poo/cry and anything else. All of it will contradict the other advice. Some of it works for your baby, some of it doesn't. Stick with what works for your baby.
Don't do anything stupid, and make sure they have enough food. That's all they need to survive.
Do not underestimate how demanding they can be for food.. every hour, on the hour between 3am-10pm yesterday for our little girl, its very hard on my wife who is very keen to remain breast feeding as long as possible. She's doing really well but she just doesn't realise it.
Also, your wife's hormones WILL change dramatically, and lead to enormous mood swings - more than you've ever seen before. Now is a good time to stock up on tea bags, her favourite chocolates etc.
Most advice contradicts, you'll end up trying what feels right. Much of it doesn't have a wrong answer, it's just whatever works for the kid and for you. It's good in some ways to have lots of options and opinions, but frustrating when it is presented as fact (or you are derided for the choices you make). Some of the advice is objectively wrong though (see my previous rant about my parents)... nearly all of the medical advice our parents were given has now been found to be wrong and in many cases dangerous, and it can require UN-level diplomacy to ensure that not adopting it doesn't cause upset.
From this point on you pretty much need to trust your own intuition as you know the kid better than anyone. It's quite liberating when you realise that.
Blown2CV said:
where you are right now the cluster feeding will pretty much stop any day now and it will all seem a lot easier. Her mood levels out too as that goes... the mid to tail end of the first week are famous low points and during that period if she stops crying you'll what's wrong, almost.
Most advice contradicts, you'll end up trying what feels right. Much of it doesn't have a wrong answer, it's just whatever works for the kid and for you. It's good in some ways to have lots of options and opinions, but frustrating when it is presented as fact (or you are derided for the choices you make). Some of the advice is objectively wrong though (see my previous rant about my parents)... nearly all of the medical advice our parents were given has now been found to be wrong and in many cases dangerous, and it can require UN-level diplomacy to ensure that not adopting it doesn't cause upset.
From this point on you pretty much need to trust your own intuition as you know the kid better than anyone. It's quite liberating when you realise that.
I sure hope so re the cluster feeding part. Most advice contradicts, you'll end up trying what feels right. Much of it doesn't have a wrong answer, it's just whatever works for the kid and for you. It's good in some ways to have lots of options and opinions, but frustrating when it is presented as fact (or you are derided for the choices you make). Some of the advice is objectively wrong though (see my previous rant about my parents)... nearly all of the medical advice our parents were given has now been found to be wrong and in many cases dangerous, and it can require UN-level diplomacy to ensure that not adopting it doesn't cause upset.
From this point on you pretty much need to trust your own intuition as you know the kid better than anyone. It's quite liberating when you realise that.
Yes - you are definitely right. Mother in Law seems to think she knows everything, having had 3 children, my mum thinks similar, having had 4 children. But they also both regularly say "well the advice I was given for you is different to what I was told for your brother/sister" and then things like "You should do this, it always worked on you! But it never worked on your sister/brother..." AARGH FFS STOP GIVING US ADVICE AND OPINION AS FACT!!
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