Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
Peanut Gallery said:
At least baby wants you! I passed Jr1 over the garden fence to a friend on Wednesday morning at 3am, when I next saw her on Thursday evening she insisted on finishing her crisps before acknowledging my existence. At least she ran to mommy on Friday evening!
How’s the tiny one? My little poo factory is doing brilliantly, really placid, not much crying and has taken to the breast perfectly. If only they could stay like this forever...Midwives have been in every day checking on them both and have been really great, as were those who delivered him. My wife is foreign so was a bit apprehensive about the whole process here, but it really couldn’t have gone any better in terms of the standard of care and facilities provided.
theboss said:
How’s the tiny one? My little poo factory is doing brilliantly, really placid, not much crying and has taken to the breast perfectly. If only they could stay like this forever...
Midwives have been in every day checking on them both and have been really great, as were those who delivered him. My wife is foreign so was a bit apprehensive about the whole process here, but it really couldn’t have gone any better in terms of the standard of care and facilities provided.
Thank you! Snap actually, just really placid, chilled, straight to the breast (Jr1 now feels left out and wants more...). I'm from a TB area, so he's already had his BCG, he's had his sugars checked lots, is already putting on weight (3.2kg, down to 3.06, up to 3.1) just sleeps! Midwives have been in every day checking on them both and have been really great, as were those who delivered him. My wife is foreign so was a bit apprehensive about the whole process here, but it really couldn’t have gone any better in terms of the standard of care and facilities provided.
Some of the nappies are.. Well, let's keep this forum user friendly... We did change a nappy on Jr1 mid action, never again.
As with you, I am again really impressed by the aftercare, midwives around daily, everything checked, all questions answered, really pleased!
Gallons Per Mile said:
What he said. Hope you're ok KTF.
We have decamped to my parents house for the time being but they have been away for the past few weeks so have been busy tweaking stuff.Previously his routine was was dinner at half 6, bath at half 7 then settling with a bottle from half 8 onward (followed by him going crazy when I put him in the cot and throwing up the bottle).
Now he gets home from nursery about half 5, sometimes a snack or straight up to the bath if not. Then its PJs, grow bag, teeth and straight in to the cot with no bottle by 6. The first night he screamed for 20 mins then gave up, but after a week he 'complains' then goes to sleep within minutes. Sleeping through for 12h+ each night as well.
Now I have my evening back again and he is sleeping much better as a result. Is more tired now in the evenings than he was when he was going to bed later.
richatnort said:
How do babies have this sense that Oh mummy and daddy are going out tonight I'll royally kick off!
MIL is up for a few days so thought we'd take advantage and go to the local ale house for a bit of us time. Walked there and as we got in the car park phone rang, MIL saying Harriet won't stop crying can you come back and help!
So close and yet so far. It took us 3 attempts to go out for our 1 year anniversary meal!
Oh yes, they just know don't they! Ours either wants to eat at exactly the same time as dinner lands on the table, or if she's eaten already then she'll watch us eat from her high chair next to the table while smiling and making extreme toilet noises at the business end...MIL is up for a few days so thought we'd take advantage and go to the local ale house for a bit of us time. Walked there and as we got in the car park phone rang, MIL saying Harriet won't stop crying can you come back and help!
So close and yet so far. It took us 3 attempts to go out for our 1 year anniversary meal!
We're trying to put some of the theory in the book you recommended in to practise but we're not sure just yet about all of it. I still think just letting her cry a bit in the cot and checking in regularly would be good but we'll see. We're just trying to get the daytime routine going at the moment, then we've got Mrs GPM's parents staying later this week for 4 nights. After that we've cleared the diary so we can have a good crack at getting mini GPM to sleep independently over night.
KTF said:
Now I have my evening back again and he is sleeping much better as a result. Is more tired now in the evenings than he was when he was going to bed later.
Exactly what I'm aiming for. Sounds like you've got it nailed. Not sure if we should be waiting for the magical 6 month way marker or just stick her in the cot and let her do some crying, or impliment some of the methods in the book I've been reading too...richatnort said:
How do babies have this sense that Oh mummy and daddy are going out tonight I'll royally kick off!
MIL is up for a few days so thought we'd take advantage and go to the local ale house for a bit of us time. Walked there and as we got in the car park phone rang, MIL saying Harriet won't stop crying can you come back and help!
So close and yet so far. It took us 3 attempts to go out for our 1 year anniversary meal!
Yup, familiar - except our two would usually get sick just before we had something like that coming up, and often infect one or both of us two...MIL is up for a few days so thought we'd take advantage and go to the local ale house for a bit of us time. Walked there and as we got in the car park phone rang, MIL saying Harriet won't stop crying can you come back and help!
So close and yet so far. It took us 3 attempts to go out for our 1 year anniversary meal!
Peanut Gallery said:
Some of the nappies are.. Well, let's keep this forum user friendly... We did change a nappy on Jr1 mid action, never again.
thankfully we’ve not had any explosions yet! but i did try and change too quickly after noises one day........ i didn’t know whether to be impressed or disgusted. one thing we are struggling with slightly are the noises/ grunting/ cries in her sleep. she’ll be fast asleep and then start making all these loud noises while asleep. that wakes us up, but she seems oblivious. we think she struggles with taking a poo in the her sleep sometimes, proper writhes around as if she’s in pain, can sometimes take 30mins, then you hear it and all is calm again!
it’s weird tho, as most of the time she’s absolutely fine and fills the nappy no problem, seems to be more of an issue at night. also not like she’s backed up for days, defo no problem filling nappies every 3/4hrs!
Glad to hear everyone is getting on well..
My partner had a widwife appointment yesterday and i havent been to any of these so far but this is the second time she has upset my partner and i am going to the next appointment but not sure how to approach this..
Bit of background - Its our 1st baby - only been in the area 2-3 years so dont know the hospital too well. She hasnt given my partner any reliable information on what she needs to do or when (until yesterday) - she is rude, patronising and unsupportive. No idea about a birth plan which will put missus at ease - says we should have booked antenatal classes - never advised partner this before. She makes my partner feel like s
t and out of the 4 appointments she has had she has been absent for 2 and partner said the other lady stepping in was lovely and reassuring.
Now my instant reaction is to go in wait for the comments to start against my partner and then lay into this lady and complain to her superiors if possible.
Partner doesnt really want her there at birth, I dont want her visiting my house or being around my newborn child if she has treated my partner like this... Other half is worried that this will raise a flag or marker against us as parents...
So where do i stand ? what can i do ? has anyone else had similar issues ?
My partner had a widwife appointment yesterday and i havent been to any of these so far but this is the second time she has upset my partner and i am going to the next appointment but not sure how to approach this..
Bit of background - Its our 1st baby - only been in the area 2-3 years so dont know the hospital too well. She hasnt given my partner any reliable information on what she needs to do or when (until yesterday) - she is rude, patronising and unsupportive. No idea about a birth plan which will put missus at ease - says we should have booked antenatal classes - never advised partner this before. She makes my partner feel like s
t and out of the 4 appointments she has had she has been absent for 2 and partner said the other lady stepping in was lovely and reassuring.Now my instant reaction is to go in wait for the comments to start against my partner and then lay into this lady and complain to her superiors if possible.
Partner doesnt really want her there at birth, I dont want her visiting my house or being around my newborn child if she has treated my partner like this... Other half is worried that this will raise a flag or marker against us as parents...
So where do i stand ? what can i do ? has anyone else had similar issues ?
Edited by Jcwjosh on Tuesday 28th January 13:00
Gallons Per Mile said:
Exactly what I'm aiming for. Sounds like you've got it nailed. Not sure if we should be waiting for the magical 6 month way marker or just stick her in the cot and let her do some crying, or impliment some of the methods in the book I've been reading too...
Honestly I'd wait until 6 (or 7, with some) months - purely based on the experience of our two. Any younger and I think they are a not developed enough I think. Of course, your mileage may vary, prices can go up as well as down etc, but thats what we found.It is really important to do though, as is setting clear boundaries and not letting the little s
ts run the roost.vonuber said:
Honestly I'd wait until 6 (or 7, with some) months - purely based on the experience of our two. Any younger and I think they are a not developed enough I think. Of course, your mileage may vary, prices can go up as well as down etc, but thats what we found.
It is really important to do though, as is setting clear boundaries and not letting the little sts run the roost.
Yep, understood. My feeling is she's probably a bit too young at the moment and a bit too needy to just do that. We might use the next 8 weeks to get a really good day routine going with naps and feeds and then try to get the independent sleeping happening after that. Only reason I've thought about doing that earlier is from other people I've talked to saying that they put their kid in their own room quite early and all problems were solved quickly. Maybe I should be taking that with a pinch of salt.It is really important to do though, as is setting clear boundaries and not letting the little s
ts run the roost.HarryFlatters said:
Phone the community desk / matty service and ask for a different midwife? You shouldn't be made to feel they way you're feeling.
Thanks HarryFlatters .. I will look into this i dont want to cause my partner any un needed stress and i can sometimes act or speak before i fully think things through Jcwjosh said:
Now my instant reaction is to go in wait for the comments to start against my partner and then lay into this lady and complain to her superiors if possible.
Don't lay into her. Remember that your partner will be firing on all sorts of hormones. Not saying she is wrong, just saying that sometimes things can be magnified.
Birth plan is not mandatory and she can also create her own (on NHS web site) though of course it is good to talk through with a professional.
I'd suggest calling the unit, asking for the manager and requesting a change of midwife.
vaud said:
Don't lay into her.
Remember that your partner will be firing on all sorts of hormones. Not saying she is wrong, just saying that sometimes things can be magnified.
Birth plan is not mandatory and she can also create her own (on NHS web site) though of course it is good to talk through with a professional.
I'd suggest calling the unit, asking for the manager and requesting a change of midwife.
Yes you are right, my choice of words wasnt the best there, but you get the picture. Remember that your partner will be firing on all sorts of hormones. Not saying she is wrong, just saying that sometimes things can be magnified.
Birth plan is not mandatory and she can also create her own (on NHS web site) though of course it is good to talk through with a professional.
I'd suggest calling the unit, asking for the manager and requesting a change of midwife.
I understand what you are saying r.e other half and feelings, but this cant be coincidence on the only 2 occasions this lady has been in, partner has been made to feel clueless and is spoken to like a child .
I will inform partner about website birth plan etc.. Thing is, this is all via our 'new' GP we signed up only last year as new to the area and we are under the impression this lady is the only midwife at this GP. I am willing to move to a new Surgery if needed but seems a ballache at this stage.
Jcwjosh said:
Thing is, this is all via our 'new' GP we signed up only last year as new to the area and we are under the impression this lady is the only midwife at this GP. I am willing to move to a new Surgery if needed but seems a ballache at this stage.
Community midwives are often a small team covering an area, they just use the GP practice for sessions - at least in our area so you shouldn't have to change practice. I think they are an NHS function, not a GP function (GPs being technically private but holding NHS contracts)
Peanut Gallery said:
As above, ask for a different midwife, or only make yourself available when she is off.
I would doubt she would be in the delivery room, or "just" tell your wife to have your baby overnight when she is not working...
IIRC community midwife is not the same team and don't attend hospital deliveries?I would doubt she would be in the delivery room, or "just" tell your wife to have your baby overnight when she is not working...
vaud said:
Peanut Gallery said:
As above, ask for a different midwife, or only make yourself available when she is off.
I would doubt she would be in the delivery room, or "just" tell your wife to have your baby overnight when she is not working...
IIRC community midwife is not the same team and don't attend hospital deliveries?I would doubt she would be in the delivery room, or "just" tell your wife to have your baby overnight when she is not working...
Shakermaker said:
Correct - the midwife you're dealing with at all the pre-natal appointments are not the same as those in the hospital doing the sprog catching.
She will be pleased to hear this..Thanks for the input chaps !
I channeled the primal protective feeling into getting my virgin media bill down instead.
only having a 4wk old baby, this isn’t a question i though I would be asking so soon. how do you go about picking nurseries/ childcare?
where we live, some of the local nurseries have space/ some are already onto waiting lists for when we need space next january. so we kinda have to get moving on this.
we had our first visit to one nursery this afternoon and have to say I was extremely underwhelmed. I don’t really know what I was expecting, all the kids looked happy, the correct ratios, plenty going on play wise and the care inspectorate reports are decent enough, but it left me feeling- well that was a bit rubbish! nothing specific or bad, just not what i expected.
obviously this was the first visit at the first nursery and I have no idea what i’m looking at. maybe my expectations were completely wrong, they might change after my next one i look at. But I didn’t think i’d feel like this. got some more visits to other nurseries and hopefully they make me feel a bit different! but any tips on how you pick?
where we live, some of the local nurseries have space/ some are already onto waiting lists for when we need space next january. so we kinda have to get moving on this.
we had our first visit to one nursery this afternoon and have to say I was extremely underwhelmed. I don’t really know what I was expecting, all the kids looked happy, the correct ratios, plenty going on play wise and the care inspectorate reports are decent enough, but it left me feeling- well that was a bit rubbish! nothing specific or bad, just not what i expected.
obviously this was the first visit at the first nursery and I have no idea what i’m looking at. maybe my expectations were completely wrong, they might change after my next one i look at. But I didn’t think i’d feel like this. got some more visits to other nurseries and hopefully they make me feel a bit different! but any tips on how you pick?
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