Any other expectant Dads?

[richatnort]

Lots of great advice above. My daughter is 1 now and i've condensed my hours so i can have Mondays off to look after her. You will find when she leaves for like 30 minutes he'll be upset because where's mum gone but after that they just come to realise its you and them all day and they just rely on you more & you realise yourself you've got it under control!

Books, toys, walks, naps (for both of you) will help massively!

Also if you are out and about on your own i was very self conscious of my daughter crying or kicking off that i didn't go anywhere but one day a gentlemen next to me with 2 kids said "don't worry about the noise you're doing a great job & everyone gets it and is used to it" which made something click in me and now i don't care what people think.

The best bit was during lockdown i had to go to M&S to get some food and some retired up themselves woman asked me why i brought my daughter with me and i replied i'm sorry its offended you but i have no choice as my wife left me and my daughter and i'm a single parent now. never had such a back tracking old nosy bag apologies and grovel as quick as she did

[vonuber]

With babies etc I found they generally cry for the following reasons:
- hungry
- nappy change
- cuddle
- sleep

Cycle through those 4 and you are generally golden.

Of course when they hit 5 and start getting lippy, that's when the stocks in the public square come out.

[vaud]

Stocks? I find removing the television and saying that I’m selling it far more effective.

[No_Idea]

Errrr, is 13 months too soon to be pregnant again?

Partner gave me the news this morning and we're both really shocked, we had planned for another one when our little girl is around 3 years but this feels just too soon. I'm also concerned the small gap between pregnancies may cause complications with the health of the baby?

Not sure what went wrong contraception wise!

She can't be no more than 1-2 weeks pregnant so considering abortion - has anyone gone through this? Obviously don't really want to but just don't think either of us are ready for another one just yet

bks!

[thatsprettyshady]

Just had a Caesarean date through from the hospital for the arrival of our first - 4th September!

[Blown2CV]

No_Idea said:

Errrr, is 13 months too soon to be pregnant again?

Partner gave me the news this morning and we're both really shocked, we had planned for another one when our little girl is around 3 years but this feels just too soon. I'm also concerned the small gap between pregnancies may cause complications with the health of the baby?

Not sure what went wrong contraception wise!

She can't be no more than 1-2 weeks pregnant so considering abortion - has anyone gone through this? Obviously don't really want to but just don't think either of us are ready for another one just yet

bks!

it's not too early i don't think, medically... looks like your plans have been brought forward! Best laid plans and all that. Good luck!

[p1stonhead]

No_Idea said:

Errrr, is 13 months too soon to be pregnant again?

Partner gave me the news this morning and we're both really shocked, we had planned for another one when our little girl is around 3 years but this feels just too soon. I'm also concerned the small gap between pregnancies may cause complications with the health of the baby?

Not sure what went wrong contraception wise!

She can't be no more than 1-2 weeks pregnant so considering abortion - has anyone gone through this? Obviously don't really want to but just don't think either of us are ready for another one just yet

bks!

It may feel too soon but it probably won’t be. My wife and her sister are the same apart.

Ours are 3 years apart and honestly I wish they were closer now.

[vaud]

p1stonhead said:

Ours are 3 years apart and honestly I wish they were closer now.

Ours are 4 years apart and it works really well.

Plus in 11 years time I won't have to out 2 through uni at the same time...

[No_Idea]

p1stonhead said:

It may feel too soon but it probably won’t be. My wife and her sister are the same apart.

Ours are 3 years apart and honestly I wish they were closer now.

Out of interest, why do you wish they were closer?

My misses has only just started back work from maternity, her boss is going to be happy to hear she'll be off for another 9 months!

[ChocolateFrog]

No_Idea said:

p1stonhead said:

It may feel too soon but it probably won’t be. My wife and her sister are the same apart.

Ours are 3 years apart and honestly I wish they were closer now.

Out of interest, why do you wish they were closer?

My misses has only just started back work from maternity, her boss is going to be happy to hear she'll be off for another 9 months!

They can't really complain if they employ women of child bearing age.

[ChocolateFrog]

No_Idea said:

Errrr, is 13 months too soon to be pregnant again?

Partner gave me the news this morning and we're both really shocked, we had planned for another one when our little girl is around 3 years but this feels just too soon. I'm also concerned the small gap between pregnancies may cause complications with the health of the baby?

Not sure what went wrong contraception wise!

She can't be no more than 1-2 weeks pregnant so considering abortion - has anyone gone through this? Obviously don't really want to but just don't think either of us are ready for another one just yet

bks!

If she really is only 1 or 2 weeks pregnant then you've got a few weeks for the shock to subside and then you can make a more balanced decision.

We got as far as the abortion clinic waiting room before we decided to keep our baby, so glad we did now as I struggle to imagine life without him but the news when the missus told me she was pregnant was pretty devastating at the time.

[p1stonhead]

No_Idea said:

p1stonhead said:

It may feel too soon but it probably won’t be. My wife and her sister are the same apart.

Ours are 3 years apart and honestly I wish they were closer now.

Out of interest, why do you wish they were closer?

My misses has only just started back work from maternity, her boss is going to be happy to hear she'll be off for another 9 months!

We’re still in the first 8 months so I think it’s wishing they could play together but realising it’s probably a year off still realistically.

We may have mis-sold the second to the first

[vonuber]

Ours are 18months apart and it was absolute hell to start with, but paying off now.

[No_Idea]

vonuber said:

Ours are 18months apart and it was absolute hell to start with

That's all I can think about tbh! I struggled enough with 1 and still do at times!

[vonuber]

No_Idea said:

That's all I can think about tbh! I struggled enough with 1 and still do at times!

Sure. But you get it all out the way, and the fact they can properly entertain each other is a godsend.

[guitarcarfanatic]

No_Idea said:

That's all I can think about tbh! I struggled enough with 1 and still do at times!

And your current will be 9 months older and a lot more independent on the entertainment front

[p1stonhead]

vonuber said:

Ours are 18months apart and it was absolute hell to start with, but paying off now.

I’m sure you’re right. We couldn’t get past the potential ‘absolute hell’ part so we waited. Would have been so much better for our 3 and a half year old to have someone to properly play with during lockdown in particular.

It’ll be fine in a year or so when they’re both running around at least.

[chip*]

vonuber said:

Ours are 18months apart and it was absolute hell to start with, but paying off now.

Ours are 18 months apart too, and my best mate 2 girls are 12 months apart (just 5 days difference on their birthday!).
Will be hard work intially due to different demands such as sleep pattern, meal plans, teething etc.., but we are seeing the benefits now. Imo, the game changer for us was sleep training so bed time is a relatively painless routine. Now our girls are about older, they play together and so effectively look after themselves while we do our domestic chores etc.. Plus, our younger girl appears to develop much quicker as she is copying from her sister (including her naughty habits too).

[filthypig]

No_Idea said:

She can't be no more than 1-2 weeks pregnant so considering abortion - has anyone gone through this?

Yep. Not for the same reason as you are considering but it was one of the hardest parts of my life and I know it's changed my wife's world massively.

If you do choose this option I'd guess that because your wife is so early into the pregnancy she'd be pushed towards the pill route of termination. We were much further down the line so opted for the medical route (which was outsourced to a private company by the NHS).

Overall not an experience I ever wish to repeat.

[The Moose]

No_Idea said:

She can't be no more than 1-2 weeks pregnant so considering abortion - has anyone gone through this?

Please don't do this.