Any other expectant Dads?

[Blown2CV]

ChocolateFrog said:

My parents have a Mothercare Havana car seat for doing grandparent duties. It was fine in their previous XC40 but in their Outlander it can be reclined enough and as a result the baby's head slumps.

Problem is the inclined angle from the ISOFIX point to the front of seat base which tilts the whole seat up and forwards.

Did a bit of googling but doesn't seem a common problem.

Going to try our Joie to see if it's a specific issue with the mothercare seat. Failing that I might take the whole seat base out.

grandparents messing up car seat fitment and/or putting the kid into it is a common problem though

My parents have an inexplicable obsession with facing them forward before they're ready. I think they started asking about it when both of our kids were like 6 months old and kept asking every couple of weeks or so!

[Shakermaker]

Hi Dads and Dads-to-be

I hope you are all doing well and I am glad that you are still sharing and caring all your advice

I've been off PH for quite a while now, what was an idle distraction from work isn't so good when you don't have to be sat in front of your computer all day on furlough and now on the hunt for a new job.

But, I'm just over a week away from the due date for our second, a little boy this time, and I can't wait.

The main issue that we have is that currently our daughter, who is nearly 3 now, still will not sleep through the night and when she wakes up in the night, all she will do to go back to sleep is be in our bed. Obvioulsy this can't continue, but she wakes up anytime between about 11pm and 1am, screaming, and comes running into our room. Won't go back to her own bed for any amount of gentle persuasion or being carried back.

we've tried a lot of things but short of one or other of us simply spending the night in her room with her, I'm out of ideas, and I know that as soon as the baby arrives, we're going to have even less sleep and be more emotional to be able to rationally deal with things.

Advice welcome, if not, I guess I'll be on here in the middle of the night again soon...!

[Stockman14]

Shakermaker said:

Hi Dads and Dads-to-be

I hope you are all doing well and I am glad that you are still sharing and caring all your advice

I've been off PH for quite a while now, what was an idle distraction from work isn't so good when you don't have to be sat in front of your computer all day on furlough and now on the hunt for a new job.

But, I'm just over a week away from the due date for our second, a little boy this time, and I can't wait.

The main issue that we have is that currently our daughter, who is nearly 3 now, still will not sleep through the night and when she wakes up in the night, all she will do to go back to sleep is be in our bed. Obvioulsy this can't continue, but she wakes up anytime between about 11pm and 1am, screaming, and comes running into our room. Won't go back to her own bed for any amount of gentle persuasion or being carried back.

we've tried a lot of things but short of one or other of us simply spending the night in her room with her, I'm out of ideas, and I know that as soon as the baby arrives, we're going to have even less sleep and be more emotional to be able to rationally deal with things.

Advice welcome, if not, I guess I'll be on here in the middle of the night again soon...!

Our son was actually better once the new baby came along. 1 and 3 years old now.
He understood that he needed to be quiet for the baby and also sleeps through her crying. So sometimes it works out better!

Although saying that, she loves our bed and seems to make her way in quite a lot more than he ever did. So maybe it's a girl thing!!

[richatnort]

Shakermaker said:

Hi Dads and Dads-to-be

I hope you are all doing well and I am glad that you are still sharing and caring all your advice

I've been off PH for quite a while now, what was an idle distraction from work isn't so good when you don't have to be sat in front of your computer all day on furlough and now on the hunt for a new job.

But, I'm just over a week away from the due date for our second, a little boy this time, and I can't wait.

The main issue that we have is that currently our daughter, who is nearly 3 now, still will not sleep through the night and when she wakes up in the night, all she will do to go back to sleep is be in our bed. Obvioulsy this can't continue, but she wakes up anytime between about 11pm and 1am, screaming, and comes running into our room. Won't go back to her own bed for any amount of gentle persuasion or being carried back.

we've tried a lot of things but short of one or other of us simply spending the night in her room with her, I'm out of ideas, and I know that as soon as the baby arrives, we're going to have even less sleep and be more emotional to be able to rationally deal with things.

Advice welcome, if not, I guess I'll be on here in the middle of the night again soon...!

My only advice is to find a local sleep therapist and get her round for a couple of times and try and get a good sleep routine in now before it's too late. It may cost a bit especially if furloughed / job hunting but it'll be worth it IMO.

[Blown2CV]

https://www.nightninja.co/

[okgo]

Or Just get a proper night nanny and get some sleep at the same time, phone consultations are useless when you're knackered and will make poor decisions.

[richatnort]

okgo said:

Or Just get a proper night nanny and get some sleep at the same time, phone consultations are useless when you're knackered and will make poor decisions.

A night nanny??? You must be a bloody millionaire

[okgo]

richatnort said:

A night nanny??? You must be a bloody millionaire

Well same thing isn't it, a sleep trainer that actually stays the night, depends how serious your sleep deprivation is really, and how pivotal that is to your work etc etc.

We've had 2 or 3 nights a week of a NN for the last few weeks, and it's been a godsend, she costs no more per hour than my cleaner, so personally I think given her skillset it's a bargain, but yes, it isn't cheap when looked at per night. She's seen hundreds of babies so knows what's what, can implement whatever she thinks is best, we get some sleep, and things move in the right direction. It has helped no end to be honest. And I know that there are sleep trainers out there that will stay the night etc also.

[fourstardan]

My bubba won't settle in our current bedside cot (Chicco thing), but seems fine in a Moses basket.

He just seems to stir a bit and not get into a sleep, however he does get into deep sleep in there after a while.

Thoughts are;

1. Chicco is too big at the moment for him (although the little beggar was 12lb14 3 weeks ago).
2. Chicco maybe echos?
3. Mattress bit firm?
4. Just a Newborn lol

Im also finding this week his nappy is leaking, could this be the direction of the nozzle?

[Stu-nph26]

fourstardan said:

My bubba won't settle in our current bedside cot (Chicco thing), but seems fine in a Moses basket.

He just seems to stir a bit and not get into a sleep, however he does get into deep sleep in there after a while.

Thoughts are;

1. Chicco is too big at the moment for him (although the little beggar was 12lb14 3 weeks ago).
2. Chicco maybe echos?
3. Mattress bit firm?
4. Just a Newborn lol

Im also finding this week his nappy is leaking, could this be the direction of the nozzle?

We had similar with a snooze pod she’s just wouldn’t settle in it. We put it down to it being too big so I carried the Moses basket up to our room everything night for at least the first 2 months. We took the snooze pod down stairs and she started sleeping in it during the day which seemed to work and she now sleeps in it fine and has for a few months (touch wood).

[thebraketester]

We had the same problem with our Snuzpod... she hated it but sleeps 'fine' (still trying to work out that exact definition yet) in the moses basket cot thing

[malks222]

fourstardan said:

My bubba won't settle in our current bedside cot (Chicco thing), but seems fine in a Moses basket.

He just seems to stir a bit and not get into a sleep, however he does get into deep sleep in there after a while.

Thoughts are;

1. Chicco is too big at the moment for him (although the little beggar was 12lb14 3 weeks ago).
2. Chicco maybe echos?
3. Mattress bit firm?
4. Just a Newborn lol

Im also finding this week his nappy is leaking, could this be the direction of the nozzle?

babies are funny little things! we tried to use the pram bassinet as the day sleeping location- nope! hated it, just wouldn’t sleep there. so wouldn’t end up just holding her for day naps. she’d also only sleep for 31mins at a time for day naps. was like clockwork!!!

but would sleep fine in the chicco next to me over night, 3-4hrs sleep, feed/ nappy, another 3-4hrs. because nights were going so well we didn’t bother too much about the day naps being crap.

when we started getting nappy leaking, we usually took that as a sign we needed to go up a size. usually just bought 1 pack of the size up to try them out check it was working, if they were too big it wasn’t an issue, she was always gonna grow into them

[Blown2CV]

okgo said:

richatnort said:

A night nanny??? You must be a bloody millionaire

Well same thing isn't it, a sleep trainer that actually stays the night, depends how serious your sleep deprivation is really, and how pivotal that is to your work etc etc.

We've had 2 or 3 nights a week of a NN for the last few weeks, and it's been a godsend, she costs no more per hour than my cleaner, so personally I think given her skillset it's a bargain, but yes, it isn't cheap when looked at per night. She's seen hundreds of babies so knows what's what, can implement whatever she thinks is best, we get some sleep, and things move in the right direction. It has helped no end to be honest. And I know that there are sleep trainers out there that will stay the night etc also.

I guess the trick is that they have to sleep well for you, not for some stranger who will leave.

[fourstardan]

Thanks ive tried the moses move up/down but really don't want to be doing that at good forsaken hours when I take him downstairs for mum to get some rest. He will be too big for the moses soon so might just stomach it.

So the nappy is too small...weird as I thought it would be the other way...i guess bigger means he can be tightened up more.

Thanks

[ChocolateFrog]

We're about to spend our first night moving from a side by side cot to a proper cot, although still at our bedside.

Decided we needed to change when he stood up in it a few days ago. Not great with the sides at waist height 3 ft off the ground, gave the OH a heart attack I think.

[malks222]

fourstardan said:

So the nappy is too small...weird as I thought it would be the other way...i guess bigger means he can be tightened up more.

well for us we just made sure we pulled them tight enough. but the bigger size gave more room to ‘catch’ and had more absorption.

[okgo]

Blown2CV said:

I guess the trick is that they have to sleep well for you, not for some stranger who will leave.

He’s been in his own room since around 10 weeks so really that hasn’t been the issue. Diagnosing silent reflux and possibly lactose issue has changed things dramatically. At 4 months waking for one feed in the night isn’t bad but also nothing like where some people are - a mate of mine feeds his younger son once at 7 and that’s it till 7am.

All of the various issues and advice that comes from all angles that’s all different is fking mind numbing.

Things that I wish I’d known sooner -

Size up for the night, mine was in a size 3 nappy for nights from around 2.5 months.

Ditched the sleepyhead at 10 weeks and put him in his actual cot. It’s big yes but it’s fine, used the sleepyhead pillow to surround him so he doesn’t hit the sides.

Leave to cry, we never did this and were forever fking about going up there after putting him down. One night at around 3 months just left him and he self settled. Hasn’t needed my attention between 7 and 11 for a long time now. Same can be done for naps though harder.

If their arms are a pain which ours were and he could get out of a swaddle and hated the bags the ‘love to dream up transition swaddle’ has been amazing. He’s almost able to roll so I’ll have to free his arms soon.


Essentially if you have a normal baby that’s not got an issue like mine does in the Silent reflux, following the Baby Secrets book should have them sleeping through very quickly. And is full of good things.

Edited by okgo on Wednesday 11th November 23:05

[Gazzas86]

okgo said:

Leave to cry, we never did this and were forever fking about going up there after putting him down. One night at around 3 months just left him and he self settled. Hasn’t needed my attention between 7 and 11 for a long time now. Same can be done for naps though harder.

Edited by okgo on Wednesday 11th November 23:05

My Wife would never do this, our daughter has just turned 2, ends up in our bed every night which is fine, its superking, but still, she hasn't slept a full night in her bed since birth.

My wife works in Children's services, and likes to remind me of all her qualifications/experience on what children needs blah blah,

When i suggested sleep training which is essentially what you have done, i was 'told' about all the negatives this bring later in life, why would you stop being a parent between 7pm-7am, your teaching them helplessness not sleep training etc etc etc etc.

I guess its not for everyone, but if it works for you then happy days (nights)

[ATTleigh]

CardinalBlue said:

I've been wanting to join this thread for a long time...after years of trying, one very traumatic unsuccessful pregnancy - I can finally say that Yes, I am an expectant Dad

It's been a tough road to get here as alluded to, and was about to start treatment in March, which was pushed back until September due to the pandemic and it happened naturally. We are both absolutely over the moon.

It's hard to express unless you have been in this situation, but the journey to get here has pretty much consumed our lives in one or another. My wife basically cut herself off from everyone who had children - including all of her friends. She'd occasionally have panic attacks when spending time with our friends children, and felt worthless - it was heartbreaking. She's a teacher in a particularly rough area, and more than once came home from work crying as a student would confide in her they were pregnant and didn't want it.

We went for our 20 week scan two weeks ago, and discovered Baby CardinalBlue (we purposefully didn't want to know the gender) has Bilateral Talipes. This came as a bit of shock - and lets just say the way we were told wasn't the best. They are fairly confident it is in isolation, and have ruled out Spina Bifida which it is sometimes associated with, but there are a few other things that it could be, but I'm trying not to think about that.

I'd be massively grateful if anyone has been in a similar position and can share their first hand experience with a child with Bilateral Talipes.

I came to this thread to join the hype as an expectant first time Dad, due late December.

I’ve first hand experience with bilateral talipes though, if you want to drop me a private message / email that might be easiest? In short, my own position is that it doesn’t really affect my ordinary day to day life, very rarely stopped me doing anything as a kid and I can only imagine treatment has improved.

I appreciate all cases will vary and I have my own complications but hopefully that provides some comfort.

[Smitters]

Just a reminder when carrying a moses basket up and down stairs to hold it underneath and not by the handles in case one breaks.

We always went for put them where they sleep best. Sleep is king!