Any other expectant Dads?

Any other expectant Dads?

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Discussion

fiatpower

3,052 posts

172 months

Wednesday 24th January
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Register1 said:
They just gave her the pessary to bring on so contractions.
They said it could be a couple of days.
The hospital parking charges are going to bankrupt me
About 3am for us although I’d been kicked out when we got to the ward at midnight. Back again at 11am.

Not sure about your trust but our hospital does multi day tickets for just over £10.

mcdjl

5,451 posts

196 months

Wednesday 24th January
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cwis said:
Try dream feeding? Let him get all the sleep he wants. Let him wake himself up...

Maybe he's got a fundamental sleep deficit and that's why he's going bonkers later in the day when he gets over tired.

When my titch was little, wifey exhausted herself waking every three hours to feed and change her overnight and wondered why I was so fresh on the nights it was my turn.

I wasn't waking the sprog. I'd dreamfeed and change her (if she needed it) while she slept and was back in bed in less than 15 mins. Titch got more sleep, I got more sleep.... I ended up doing all the overnight feeds mind.

If he's a good weight you could try leaving him overnight and let him wake you if he's hungry. He might get more sleep that way too...
Co-sleep then they can dream breast feed. Only down side is lack of bed space

The Moose

22,868 posts

210 months

Wednesday 24th January
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A.J.M said:
Almost 5 weeks into parenthood with our first.
He’s breastfeeding well, is ok most of the time.

But we really are struggling to get him to nap during the day and by evening he’s overtired and utterly raging with everything…
Won’t feed, but is hungry.
Won’t sleep but is clearly tired.
Have dark room, white noise machine, etc.

It’s a battle from 6pm to 11pm every night to get him to settle and sleep.
It’s exhausting, as when he does sleep, he’s down for 3+ hours before needing woken for feed and change.

Any pointers on this?
Yes - don’t wake a sleeping baby!

Parsnip

3,122 posts

189 months

Wednesday 24th January
quotequote all
A.J.M said:
Almost 5 weeks into parenthood with our first.
He’s breastfeeding well, is ok most of the time.

But we really are struggling to get him to nap during the day and by evening he’s overtired and utterly raging with everything…
Won’t feed, but is hungry.
Won’t sleep but is clearly tired.
Have dark room, white noise machine, etc.

It’s a battle from 6pm to 11pm every night to get him to settle and sleep.
It’s exhausting, as when he does sleep, he’s down for 3+ hours before needing woken for feed and change.

Any pointers on this?
No real advice (see point 2) but two things to cling to:

1. It will get easier (and way more fun - newborns are dull) - you will learn what the baby wants/needs and get more efficient at offering it. Ours wouldn't "go to bed" until about 4 months and we had a mix of battle/contact sleeping from 7-11 like you say. Once we got her going down at 7 (even if she woke at 10) it was a gamechanger - eating dinner together, watching TV, just getting a break felt like a miracle - it will come.

2. Anyone who tells you they know what they are doing is a liar. We went down a rabbit hole of "wake windows" and reading what you/baby should be doing and an Instagram flooded with baby content. Its pish. All of it. If anyone truely had the magic key to parenting, they would be a trillionaire. None of them have met your baby and none of them have met you - what you are doing is right for you and your family, it just takes time for it to click into place.

The first year is so all over the place anyway - once one thing falls into place, something will upset it (teeth, vaccinations, illness, weaning etc.) - you and the baby just gradually get better at managing the situation.




Blown2CV

28,914 posts

204 months

Thursday 25th January
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Parsnip said:
A.J.M said:
Almost 5 weeks into parenthood with our first.
He’s breastfeeding well, is ok most of the time.

But we really are struggling to get him to nap during the day and by evening he’s overtired and utterly raging with everything…
Won’t feed, but is hungry.
Won’t sleep but is clearly tired.
Have dark room, white noise machine, etc.

It’s a battle from 6pm to 11pm every night to get him to settle and sleep.
It’s exhausting, as when he does sleep, he’s down for 3+ hours before needing woken for feed and change.

Any pointers on this?
No real advice (see point 2) but two things to cling to:

1. It will get easier (and way more fun - newborns are dull) - you will learn what the baby wants/needs and get more efficient at offering it. Ours wouldn't "go to bed" until about 4 months and we had a mix of battle/contact sleeping from 7-11 like you say. Once we got her going down at 7 (even if she woke at 10) it was a gamechanger - eating dinner together, watching TV, just getting a break felt like a miracle - it will come.

2. Anyone who tells you they know what they are doing is a liar. We went down a rabbit hole of "wake windows" and reading what you/baby should be doing and an Instagram flooded with baby content. Its pish. All of it. If anyone truely had the magic key to parenting, they would be a trillionaire. None of them have met your baby and none of them have met you - what you are doing is right for you and your family, it just takes time for it to click into place.

The first year is so all over the place anyway - once one thing falls into place, something will upset it (teeth, vaccinations, illness, weaning etc.) - you and the baby just gradually get better at managing the situation.
i think unfortunately it's a case of they all do that sir

Edited by Blown2CV on Friday 2nd February 12:45

italianjob1275

567 posts

147 months

Wednesday 31st January
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Checking back in to say that my first child Isabelle entered the world via the sunroof on Monday morning.

All going well so far and we’re both very happy, everyone in the hospital was absolutely fantastic (well apart from some of the clientele in the ward but you can’t have everything..)

The fun starts here smile

Unexpected Item In The Bagging Area

7,037 posts

190 months

Wednesday 31st January
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Congratulations! Enjoy the ride hehe

Tim Cognito

335 posts

8 months

Wednesday 31st January
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If you have any sleep suits that have poppers - deposit them to your nearest charity shop immediately.

You want 100% zip, unless you are some sort of masochist.

Carl_VivaEspana

12,303 posts

263 months

Wednesday 31st January
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preferably with velcro protectors over the zip tops so the little blighters can't learn to unzip them either !

Tim Cognito

335 posts

8 months

Wednesday 31st January
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Carl_VivaEspana said:
preferably with velcro protectors over the zip tops so the little blighters can't learn to unzip them either !
Newborns can operate zips now? Jeez they grow up so fast.

mcdjl

5,451 posts

196 months

Wednesday 31st January
quotequote all
Tim Cognito said:
If you have any sleep suits that have poppers - deposit them to your nearest charity shop immediately.

You want 100% zip, unless you are some sort of masochist.
If you can get me a sleep suit with a zip up both legs that goes on both directions I'll buy it. Until then poppers minimize the wrestling to get him in and out.

vaud

50,650 posts

156 months

Wednesday 31st January
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mcdjl said:
Co-sleep then they can dream breast feed. Only down side is lack of bed space
Co-sleeping is highly under-rated.

Dad can sleep in spare room/kids room... = at least one functional adult....

Tim Cognito

335 posts

8 months

Wednesday 31st January
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mcdjl said:
If you can get me a sleep suit with a zip up both legs that goes on both directions I'll buy it. Until then poppers minimize the wrestling to get him in and out.
My memory is hazy but you shove one leg in then the zipper goes up from the foot of the other leg to the collar, zippppp up done.

You prefer to wrestle a wriggling baby and do up about 10 tiny poppers at 3am in low light?

mcdjl

5,451 posts

196 months

Thursday 1st February
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Tim Cognito said:
My memory is hazy but you shove one leg in then the zipper goes up from the foot of the other leg to the collar, zippppp up done.

You prefer to wrestle a wriggling baby and do up about 10 tiny poppers at 3am in low light?
With my one doing the last few poppers on both sides is much easier than wrestling the leg all the way down in low light!

Mont Blanc

632 posts

44 months

Thursday 1st February
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Tim Cognito said:
If you have any sleep suits that have poppers - deposit them to your nearest charity shop immediately.

You want 100% zip, unless you are some sort of masochist.
I could not agree with this any more. This is the truth.

I absolutely hated any sleep suits that had popper or button. Hated them. Anything that involves a baby or toddler needs to be as quick and as simple as possible as you have a very limited window of 'struggling' to get the child into it'll before there is a tantrum.

The ones with the zip were a lifesaver. I refused to use the popper suits.

The zip suits take about 5 seconds. Shove the legs in, shove the arms in, and zip up. So much quicker.

Comacchio

1,510 posts

182 months

Thursday 1st February
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vaud said:
Co-sleeping is highly under-rated.

Dad can sleep in spare room/kids room... = at least one functional adult....
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-68101937


vaud

50,650 posts

156 months

Thursday 1st February
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Comacchio said:
Yes, fully aware. Deaths from "high-risk" co-sleeping situations through alcohol or drugs.

Loads of countries co-sleep quite safely and have done for hundreds of years.

Jambo85

3,319 posts

89 months

Thursday 1st February
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vaud said:
Comacchio said:
Yes, fully aware. Deaths from "high-risk" co-sleeping situations through alcohol or drugs.

Loads of countries co-sleep quite safely and have done for hundreds of years.
The article doesn't say the deaths are all alcohol or drugs related.

Comacchio

1,510 posts

182 months

Friday 2nd February
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Jambo85 said:
The article doesn't say the deaths are all alcohol or drugs related.
Yeah it was on the news last week. A woman told her story of how her baby died co-sleeping and it wasn't drugs or alcohol related.

We all know how exhausting it can be at times - I know I've fallen into some really deep sleep and my wife's woken me up asking for help and I was totally unaware both babies (in the same room, cot at foot of bed) were crying. We've done it before when one wont settle but try to get them back to their cot as soon as they're back asleep.

mcdjl

5,451 posts

196 months

Saturday 3rd February
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Comacchio said:
Jambo85 said:
The article doesn't say the deaths are all alcohol or drugs related.
Yeah it was on the news last week. A woman told her story of how her baby died co-sleeping and it wasn't drugs or alcohol related.

We all know how exhausting it can be at times - I know I've fallen into some really deep sleep and my wife's woken me up asking for help and I was totally unaware both babies (in the same room, cot at foot of bed) were crying. We've done it before when one wont settle but try to get them back to their cot as soon as they're back asleep.
She was an interesting choice as the article on the website mentioned that her baby had had multiple episodes of it's heart stopping which were only detected post mortem, so while co showing may have been a factor it wasn't the only one.