Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
joestifff said:
This is baby number two, daughter is only just two..... I know what's coming, and I am scared, and how do you do it with two children!?!?
Our second, a boy, is just over 3 months now and doing really well.Our daughter is 4.
I've found having a second isn't as bad as I was expecting but I think a big part of that is down to our daughter being that bit older and self sufficient enough that she will happily watch a film or play on her own without us having to be with her every minute.
It's still really hard though especially when the baby is awake and kicking off so you can't put him down.
Frankly I don't know how we would cope if our first still needed constant attention as well, potty training etc.
Good luck
Davey S2 said:
joestifff said:
This is baby number two, daughter is only just two..... I know what's coming, and I am scared, and how do you do it with two children!?!?
Our second, a boy, is just over 3 months now and doing really well.Our daughter is 4.
I've found having a second isn't as bad as I was expecting but I think a big part of that is down to our daughter being that bit older and self sufficient enough that she will happily watch a film or play on her own without us having to be with her every minute.
It's still really hard though especially when the baby is awake and kicking off so you can't put him down.
Frankly I don't know how we would cope if our first still needed constant attention as well, potty training etc.
Good luck
RTB said:
Vaud said:
Our first was 15... 12 + 3 days of induction + class 1 csection. Not happy times. Now a bossy, sorry, assertive 5 year old!
Same process here. 30 hours of induction and general buggering about before emergency c section. He's now nearly 10 and still late for everything.Our little boy is now almost 8 months old which is really hard to believe. As others have said it’s been more intense than I ever imagined but I wouldn’t change it. It’s wonderful coming home to a little one who’s really excited to see you. To hear the giggles and see the smiles is brilliant and makes everything worthwhile.
What have I learnt in 8 months? The main thing is to really enjoy every moment. He doesn’t do falling asleep in my arms anymore but now we have a great fun playing together. Everything changes so quickly. Also, make the most of the time when they’ll just lie where you put them, rolling and crawling is a whole new ball game - especially during nappy changes.
What have I learnt in 8 months? The main thing is to really enjoy every moment. He doesn’t do falling asleep in my arms anymore but now we have a great fun playing together. Everything changes so quickly. Also, make the most of the time when they’ll just lie where you put them, rolling and crawling is a whole new ball game - especially during nappy changes.
Can I join in? I'm about to become a grandfather again.
The new baby will have a six year old sister, who has been brought up to have a great deal of independence over some day to day choices. She chooses pets names, clothes, toys, presents, and other shopping herself. I got a disco ball for my last birthday!
We asked her if they had a name for her new brother yet. Without hesitation she replied, Henry or Jesus. By next week though, the decision had reverted to Donatello.
A few days ago I saw her laying with her head against mum's lump, gently singing to the baby. The baby responded by starting to kick. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't had seen it.
The new baby will have a six year old sister, who has been brought up to have a great deal of independence over some day to day choices. She chooses pets names, clothes, toys, presents, and other shopping herself. I got a disco ball for my last birthday!
We asked her if they had a name for her new brother yet. Without hesitation she replied, Henry or Jesus. By next week though, the decision had reverted to Donatello.
A few days ago I saw her laying with her head against mum's lump, gently singing to the baby. The baby responded by starting to kick. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't had seen it.
I'm coming up to 7 months in.
Along the way, I've learned a whole new load of otherwise entirely useless skills to go about my day:
- I can precisely judge when I've put exactly 80ml of water into a Tommee Tippee bottle to then decant into the steam steriliser. I still check I've hit the line, but just like a Top Gun pilot landing on an aircraft carrier, I hit the line first time, every time.
- I know exactly how hard to nudge the living room door with my foot, bum or elbow to close it without slamming it when I'm carrying a sleeping child up to bed
- I know by feel, which "leg" of a Ewan the Dream Sheep to get the correct setting to keep said child asleep once she's in her cot.
- I know which floorboards creak and where to step to avoid them,
- I can make the perfect cup of tea entirely using my left hand, whilst my dominant arm and hand hold my daughter.
- I know three of the 8 "That's not my..." books by heart so I don't need to look at them to read the words, i can just offer the textured pages up for her to explore
My wife, who spends all day looking after our daughter and of course, carried her around for 9 and a bit months and can do amazing things like feed her, stay awake all night to feed/soothe her, can do none of the above, and seems remarkably unimpressed by my new found talents.
Along the way, I've learned a whole new load of otherwise entirely useless skills to go about my day:
- I can precisely judge when I've put exactly 80ml of water into a Tommee Tippee bottle to then decant into the steam steriliser. I still check I've hit the line, but just like a Top Gun pilot landing on an aircraft carrier, I hit the line first time, every time.
- I know exactly how hard to nudge the living room door with my foot, bum or elbow to close it without slamming it when I'm carrying a sleeping child up to bed
- I know by feel, which "leg" of a Ewan the Dream Sheep to get the correct setting to keep said child asleep once she's in her cot.
- I know which floorboards creak and where to step to avoid them,
- I can make the perfect cup of tea entirely using my left hand, whilst my dominant arm and hand hold my daughter.
- I know three of the 8 "That's not my..." books by heart so I don't need to look at them to read the words, i can just offer the textured pages up for her to explore
My wife, who spends all day looking after our daughter and of course, carried her around for 9 and a bit months and can do amazing things like feed her, stay awake all night to feed/soothe her, can do none of the above, and seems remarkably unimpressed by my new found talents.
Shakermaker said:
My wife, who spends all day looking after our daughter and of course, carried her around for 9 and a bit months and can do amazing things like feed her, stay awake all night to feed/soothe her, can do none of the above, and seems remarkably unimpressed by my new found talents.
They can be very ungrateful at times, can't they?!?
Blown2CV said:
tip when doing the nursery up... remove carpet and hammer a f
k ton of nails into those floor boards!! I squeak tested the whole top floor of our house. Took ages.
After checking for hot water pipes.k ton of nails into those floor boards!! I squeak tested the whole top floor of our house. Took ages.Not doing that again.
"ah why does this half of a floorboard have no nail?"
hammer
whoooshhhhhhh
"oops"
Vaud said:
Blown2CV said:
tip when doing the nursery up... remove carpet and hammer a fk ton of nails into those floor boards!! I squeak tested the whole top floor of our house. Took ages.
After checking for hot water pipes.k ton of nails into those floor boards!! I squeak tested the whole top floor of our house. Took ages.Not doing that again.
"ah why does this half of a floorboard have no nail?"
hammer
whoooshhhhhhh
"oops"
My partners coming on 31 weeks on Saturday and I have to say we feel like we know nothing, like literally nothing. I thought that things would be explained in these maternity appointments but they just seem like a waste of time and fuel.
We went to the very first meeting at a local clinic and they said that they wanted to speak with the missus on her own for a few minutes. I recognised that this would safeguarding so fair enough. Eventually they came to get me and the missus later told me that they were asking if she was absolutely certain she wanted me there despite having explained that this was all planned and not a one night thing. The reason I had to go in is because they failed to ascertain that my partner suffers bad dyslexia and can't spell my surname. Throughout what was left of the meeting I tried to ask questions but was glanced at before the answer was given to my partner. They were pointing things out in leaflets but again failed to ascertain that she struggles to read it. We left there none the wiser and I was pretty miffed off.
We've had 3 midwife appointments since. The first and third were late, rushed, dismissive of questions (and they still haven't rang back with blood results despite trying to chase up) and nothing asked to me. For example why not speak to dads about how their partner has been? Is she possibly suffering depression issues or something that may affect her post natal? Is the dad picking up on anything that the mum's missing or failed to say? They're not interested.
We booked ante natal classes and these are mid September because they're busy, That's1 month away from the birth date and I'm not looking forward to them at all. I feel that it's called maternity for a reason; because no one gives a monkeys about the paternity side of things.
All in, not a good experience so far if I'm honest. The missus is constantly uncomfortable and tired and her moods are all over. I'd need to give it a good think about before doing it all again (and I'm 40 now!).
We went to the very first meeting at a local clinic and they said that they wanted to speak with the missus on her own for a few minutes. I recognised that this would safeguarding so fair enough. Eventually they came to get me and the missus later told me that they were asking if she was absolutely certain she wanted me there despite having explained that this was all planned and not a one night thing. The reason I had to go in is because they failed to ascertain that my partner suffers bad dyslexia and can't spell my surname. Throughout what was left of the meeting I tried to ask questions but was glanced at before the answer was given to my partner. They were pointing things out in leaflets but again failed to ascertain that she struggles to read it. We left there none the wiser and I was pretty miffed off.
We've had 3 midwife appointments since. The first and third were late, rushed, dismissive of questions (and they still haven't rang back with blood results despite trying to chase up) and nothing asked to me. For example why not speak to dads about how their partner has been? Is she possibly suffering depression issues or something that may affect her post natal? Is the dad picking up on anything that the mum's missing or failed to say? They're not interested.
We booked ante natal classes and these are mid September because they're busy, That's1 month away from the birth date and I'm not looking forward to them at all. I feel that it's called maternity for a reason; because no one gives a monkeys about the paternity side of things.
All in, not a good experience so far if I'm honest. The missus is constantly uncomfortable and tired and her moods are all over. I'd need to give it a good think about before doing it all again (and I'm 40 now!).
I dont think I went to any of my wifes appointments as it was more of a check up - take bloods, measure bump size, etc. - than information session so there was no added value to me being there.
Generally if there is an issue with the blood (or other) test then they get in touch. If there is no issue then you will get a letter at some point in the future saying its OK.
What sort of questions do you need answering?
Generally if there is an issue with the blood (or other) test then they get in touch. If there is no issue then you will get a letter at some point in the future saying its OK.
What sort of questions do you need answering?
Harry Flashman said:
ANte natal classes will help, really. Especially being with other people who know nothing.
We are a week away from due date and frankly I'm terrified. I know that my life, as I knew it, is gone. Just...gone.
Good luck. We are a week away from due date and frankly I'm terrified. I know that my life, as I knew it, is gone. Just...gone.
I was terrified too. Absolutely hated kids, would have panic attacks when they were in the same room as me, yet when our little chap put in an appearance, something primeval clicked into place and it all made sense.
The first couple of months were pretty tough, only because I did a lot of the initial night shifts with him, to let mum get some sleep. She expressed some milk too so that I could help with the feeding.
I can't really explain it, but there is something frankly amazing about having your own little baby in your arms either sleeping, or happily slurping on a bottle.
Now he's 9 months and is turning into a little monster
. He's funny though. The living room currently looks like a bomb has gone off in there. Enjoy it. I hope it all goes well.
Harry Flashman said:
ANte natal classes will help, really. Especially being with other people who know nothing.
We are a week away from due date and frankly I'm terrified. I know that my life, as I knew it, is gone. Just...gone.
If you are the sort who goes out drinking and clubbing every Friday and Saturday night then you will notice some changes. But if you tended to not go out and do something during the day instead, then it doesn't really change that much as you just wheel them around with you.We are a week away from due date and frankly I'm terrified. I know that my life, as I knew it, is gone. Just...gone.
Its really not that scary as initially its just feeding, changing and sleeping for 6-8 weeks. You don't even have to wash them that much as they don't really get grubby until they are more mobile.
Harry Flashman said:
ANte natal classes will help, really. Especially being with other people who know nothing.
We are a week away from due date and frankly I'm terrified. I know that my life, as I knew it, is gone. Just...gone.
You'll be fine. You may find that you do not care as much about things that were previously seemingly very important, as it turns out that they weren't important at all.We are a week away from due date and frankly I'm terrified. I know that my life, as I knew it, is gone. Just...gone.
Please post some updated pics of your newly refurbished and carefully decorated house in about 12 months time, when there will be plastic crap absolutely everywhere
mistergrumpy said:
My partners coming on 31 weeks on Saturday and I have to say we feel like we know nothing, like literally nothing.
We must have the same due date, mid October?Our antenatal classes have also just been booked for the middle of September, I though this was late too, but what do I know, I'm a man.
I think I'm lucky, my partner has been great so far (don't tell her that) very few mood swings and has generally been her happy go lucky normal self just with monstrous heartburn 24/7.
Have you read any books? She bought me this one https://www.worldofbooks.com/pregnancy-for-men-the...
It's a good laugh and covers pretty much everything a man needs to know, I've read some others as well aimed at women, so I have a general idea of what is likely to happen........still no idea, NONE, about how to actually look after it when it's born though, guess I'll blag that minor part
Glad it's not just me that feels old having my first at 37.
We'll all do fine I'm sure, good luck!
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